Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

The Ticket Master

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

The Ticket Master

Dear Princess Celestia

Well, I've only been in Ponyville for a few days, and it seems that you are already getting me back for dropping out of school.

It all started when I was helping Applejack pick apples. Why, you might ask? Because she wants to turn her brother into a transvestite. He must want to do it, too. Why else would he accept a dare to wear his grandmother's underwear? So that's why I'm helping. Because I want to see a stallion in drag. I swear, that must be one screwed up family.

Then what should happen? My walking, talking, purple fax machine gets a letter from the revered Princess, inviting me plus one guest to the most popular dress-up-and-act-important event of the year, the Grand Galloping Gala, and quite frankly, there are several things wrong with this. One, these are not my friends. Getting close to acquaintances, maybe, and definitely on my list of ponies that are better than you. But not friends.

Two; there are five of them, you troll. Not one, but five. This is Ponyville. Do you think that four of them are going to want to stay here and be noponies? No. They want to be noticed, because life sucks here, so now they're going to fight over who I get to drag to this stupid party.

Oh great, they're doing me favors now. Like this is supposed to make the decision any easier. Sorry you guys, but Applejack force fed me 30 apple dishes, so I'll be taking her. Yeah, Rainbow dug a three-foot hole in a raincloud, and let everypony else get soaked during lunch, so she's going with me. Oh, Fluttershy forced her slave bunny to clean the library and make me a salad, the ticket is hers. Oh shoot, Rarity really won me over with this slutty outfit she made for me and her to whore ourselves at the Gala. But then Pinkie had to go toss me up in the air multiple times, nearly making me throw up, and then tell the entire damn town that I have these tickets.

Once I was finally back at the library, I told them all to fuck off. I knew they were going to end up blaming me no matter what, so I sent the tickets back to you. I don't want to go to this upper class par-tay anyway.

So when what do you do? Because I saw right through your little troll attempt, you send me six tickets, practically forcing us all to go. Thanks a lot. You suck.

Your non-student,
Twilight Sparkle

Comments

[DragonLS]

I love this dark side of Twilight. XD

[Lyall]

It's 2 in the morning...I think I may have woke someone up with my laughter.

[Natzo]

Oh god are you doing all the episodes? Oh please do.

[milesprower06]

714792 The farther I get with readers still laughing, the more thrilled I become.

[milesprower06]

714797 That's my hope. If some end up being insanely short, I may bundle them into one entry.

[Genjen]

Some punch lines are funnier than the rest, but in the end it's all comedic gold. "This just proves that Unicorns are the master race." "Well, I've only been in Ponyville for a few days, and it seems that you are already getting me back for dropping out of school. " This venomous sarcasm is awesome. I'm really looking forward to the episodes where Twilight and the Princess meet up in person and while they act all sweet in front of others I JUST KNOW they're going to be all hateful with whispers or back biting comments at each other or something. Glorious. Nice idea chap, well done.

[milesprower06]

714843 Thanks. I actually have little to nothing planned. My weakest writing style is ad lib, and that's what I'm doing here. I'm winging all of it.

[KrazyFang]

This is brilliant. You better be doing one for every goddam episode!

[milesprower06]

714853 That's my hope. If some letters end up being insanely short, I'll probably bundle them into one entry. We'll see. As I said, I've planned very, very little of this.

[Twifight Sparkill]

Oh wow. My sides hurt! Terrific stuff!

[Obsidian]

More and more, I'd almost say this was Trixie's letters to Celestia. It just fits with her character far more readily.

[SFC Ponycron]

Oh, man. This stuff is just gold. Good on ya, mate!

[Cry Havoc]

Bru, I haven't laughed this hard in a LONG while.

Thus, favourite.

[Sandman]

Oh such glorious day.
For another chapter of Disgruntled Student has been posted.

[Duffman18]

Twilight, Twilight, Twilight. Looks like someone's off their meds.

[Pleaseworkforonce]

[Barry From Mars]

Holy mackerel, This fanfic sounds almost as if Dan was born in Equestria as Twilight Sparkle.

static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/danvs_skywardscream02_1809.png

PRINCESS CELESTIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[infinite scratch]

Ya that's all spike is preety much

[Frankie]

I have to ask...What were you smoking when you thought of doing this?
If Twilight actually wrote these to Celestia, she would be sent to the moon quicker than Big Mac can put on a new pair of panties.
Seriously, a transvestite??

[Teashakes]

Hahahahahahhahahhahahhahahhahahh haven't laughed this hard in forever!

[Professor Donger]

My walking, talking, purple fax machine

[SlightlyGrape]

714792 i'm reading this at 3 am :)

[White Wolf]

Dear Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student.

You are forgetting you are talking too, you little whore.
Goddess of the Sun? Ruler of Equestria? Mistress of all she surveys?..............Ring a bell?
The one took time out of her extremely busy schedule to teach your sorry ass the ways of magic because you were totally clueless(Talking sheer mountains of dumbass here) about it.

PS: I'm not a good mood right now, So don't give me an excuse to give you Irritable Bowel Syndrome with huge helpings of Montezuma Revenge on top.

Your Annoyed Teacher Princess Celestia
________________________________________________________________________

I can see our beloved Princess sending such response.

[KillerSteel]

I kind of want to see a response from Celestia actually, see what happens :V.

[Joel]

i1268.photobucket.com/albums/jj580/charlieg1999/Youeverburstintolaughterwhilepissingandruineverything_b66f6b81ec408217fcd52ed442c880d4.jpg

[thegameboykid]

So when what do you do? i think you meant So then what do you do?

[Lucky Seven]

That's it, after just three chapters I've come to a conclusion. This is the funniest my little pony fan fiction I have ever read!

[KazumaKyu]

Two; there are five of them, you troll.

I died. Oh GOD how I died of laughter. I haven't laughed that hard in WEEKS.

[WorldWalker128]

714790
So then when Discord shows up, she'll prolyl be the nicest Pony ever.

[MacGyver]

*applause and raucous laughter*
This has to be the most enjoyable comedy fiction that I've read to date. Thousands upon thousands try to make others laugh with their works of fiction. You don't try. You succeed.

[I Am The Night]

My jimmies have been rustled...and I LOVE it. Please...do go on, sir.

[AdobE]

I love how it ends in "you suck"

[Enmar]

[Juria]

Congradulations, you've turned her into Twilight Flank-hole!

[Gak]

714811

So when what do you do?

Should be then not when

[SuperPinkBrony12]

723806 Oh you suck Celestia.

[keaton-furman-prower]

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

I'm glad I could help your friends escape from that little hellhole

Your faithful(?) Empress and Solar Deity, Princess Celestia.

P.S.: I'm only half-troll on my father's side. Troll-ness is recessive. However, troll behavior is dominant

[chaotic serenity]

This reminds me so much of the Mentally Advanced Series, it's amazing.

[Kaidan]

there are five of them, you troll. Not one, but five.

[gcwg57]

what did you do to big mac

[EXA132]

as of now this story is already getting funny as ***** "this slutty outfit she made me"

[Pony In Your House]

Walking talking purple fax machine........

[The Dimension Traveler]

Are you one of the writers for the Mentally Advanced Series?!

[Skeeter The Lurker]

Oh my god...

The fax machine... Beautiful.

~Skeeter The Lurker

[forevertheDoctor]

Haha oh my god my sides. Except angel bunny is really a demon and would never allow himself to be enslaved. :D

[Spirit Shift]

Lol oh god I feel like I'm reading the friendship reports that the version of her in the mentally advanced series would've wrote. I'm even reading them in his/her voice

[Wolfboy183]

Dear Twilight Sparkle:
How often do you look up at the MOON?

[Derpyx0]

God, if there is a princess skyla ep in the future..... I wonder what will twily say in her letters?

[Neko Majin C]

You know, I would like to see a transvestite Big Macintosh as well. I think it would go a little something like this:

KBO.

[Deathleader]

Wow just wow