Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Dragon Quest
Dear Princess Celestia,
So today, we decided to have the least worthy of us, Applejack and Pinkie Pie, dig a trench so we can watch as dragons migrate to the continent of Tamriel. I hear they're scheduled to cause some havoc in Skyrim. Apparently all of them owe this Alduin guy some money, so they all agreed to do this invasion thing for him.
Meanwhile, I was being entertained, watching Rainbow try to force Fluttershy out of her home. She figured with how loud she was yelling back at the Gala, as well as after her lessons with Iron Will, her Thu'um must be pretty decent unless we needed protection. But speaking of those assertiveness lessons, they must have been pretty good, because she proceeded to knock Rainbow flat on her back, stomp on her chest, and then proceeds to gingerly slip out the back window...and she even got out of paying Iron Will. That clever bitch!
So there we all are in the sub-par trench, along with that ever-flamboyant whore Rarity, when Spike starts handing out snacks and refreshments and draws comparisons to himself when we all start commenting in awe over the dragons. I warned Spike not to compliment himself, because all that is is a cue for us to start making fun of how fabulously gay he is compared to these fearsome dragons. We made him all embarrassed and blush and he stomped off. He went back to the library to try and find some books on improving self-esteem, but having predicted such a move, I had removed all the self-help books from the library several months ago, and made him go through all the shelves to prove it. It made him so upset that he cried well into the night. What a pathetic excuse for a gay maid.
So the next day, he starts packing to go off to find the dragons. While I tried to convince him that I had a microchip implanted in his skull after he ran off when I adopted Owlowicious, he didn't buy it, and he took off. Teaming up with Rarity and Candy Vag, we decided to go after him. Rarity assured us she knew the perfect way to blend in, and designed the worst disguise ever. I mean, sure, it would absolutely take first prize at a dragon cosplay contest, but we're actually trying to LOOK LIKE a dragon here. Big difference there.
So the dragons stop for a travel break at Mt. Doom or something, where Spike encounters them. They started a hazing ritual, and the last of which was King of the Horde, and that got tiring very quickly. There was this voice that kept saying, 'Horde Controlled' over and over again. It was really fucking annoying. Good thing they didn't play Capture the Flag. When we started commenting on it, some of the dragons began to wonder who we were, and they just shrugged us off as a relative of Crackle. We look over and saw...just...the most offensive thing we've ever seen. Good Sweet Celestia, somedragon put that fucking freak out of his misery. After dubbing Spike Rookie Dragon, they party well into the night doing crystal meth.
They then decide to prepare for Skyrim by going on a raid. I wasn't going to let Spike get the chance of escaping my grasp, so we followed them into the forest. After pulling the aggro of the two tanking parents, the dragons find all the eggs hatched, and then decide to go after the babies themselves, which alerts the parents. Finding a spare egg, they encourage Spike to smash it on the ground, but then he goes all pro-life on them. Realizing that he'd never make it in Skyrim, he sides with us, and we escape back to Ponyville, where we know they'll never try to get us.
I mean, come on, Dovahshy is here. We're safe.
Your Ranged DPS former student,
Twilight Sparkle
P.S.
Fus Ro Fuck You
me thinks twilight has been playing too much skyrim.
Y'know, I saw Skyrim coming a mile away.
I wish there was a Dragon Warrior/Quest quote though (I haven't seen anyone do that despite the name of the episode).
One of the best Fus Ro Dah jokes ever. Somewhere near Falalalala-la fus ro dah
My sides!
Does this mean that the dragons lead Spike to just off the coast of skyrim? or were they in hammerfell or morrowind?
Guessing those were "Last of the Dragonlords" references for Fluttershy. And yes you have to guess Crackle is probably some star fleet fake dragon or something.
Pinkie Pie draws aggro like a flame draws moth.
Twilight is the glass cannon. If people are too busy trying to shut Pinkie up, though...
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/killtiwithfriendship.gif
1828806 No. Skyrim references.
Great, now the announcer's voice saying 'Hill Controlled', and the killing medals is repeating in my head.
XXXDDD
ROFL.
That is the only appropriate response.
Reminds me of my take on the Dragonshy episode. Hail the Dovashy!
1828796 Fuk-Uh-Ra!
*grins* Very nice, Enjoying Skyrim I take it?
1828788
I know that's been bugging me about this episode as well, how can anyone not make a Dragon Quest reference despite the name. I barely tried but I only did it in a rant.
Excellent Halo ref, bro!
1828861 I bugs me so much that no one talks about it.
It and Final Fantasy are so good…
I can't get enough of that FF.
1828805
Well, if they were in Hammerfell, they could get some curved swords off of the local warriors...
THROW MORE DOTS!
Fos dee fucking doo.
Gay Maid, I lolled hard at that
This is saying somthing coming from a world of rainbow color ponies.
1828902
I still remember that I keep looking around youtube for Dragon Quest parodies but it never happened. :(
Because Rarity is best flamboyant whore.
1828805
Must be Red Mountain in Morrowind.
1828970 I eventually gave up and thought that I may have been one of ten bronies to actually think that.
1828970 That implies you no longer wish to look. But thou must.
1829003
Sadly this is what happened to me as well. Here's the only time I actually make that reference: http://derpibooru.org/124172?scope=scpe86492bac898a67d22375ce76191dbefb4c021a0b
I thought I saw just Candy and re-read this much slower. My face went from to
1828977
i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/010/603/854.jpg
This is almost to awesome for words... ALMOST, LITTLE PEEWEE HAS COMISH AGE OF THE PHOENIX COMES! Random moment over
Gentle breeze guide you home, a warm smile to welcome your return!
1829038 Next I demand that there be a video game related episode.
(preferably an oldie For me that would be Final Fantasy…)
What? I love Final Fantasy.
Fluttershy is undoubtedly best Dovahkin
On the subject of Skyrim, has anyone here played the dlcs? I've already played them, I was just curious to see who else played them
Dear Twilight Sparkle:
I gave Rarity dragon-costume making lessons. Aren't you proud of my new student?
Your Dragon-loving former teacher, Princess Celestia.
P.S.: Don't Flus Ro Fk with me, young lady.
Ranged DPS? Mages WISH they were Twilight Sparkle! They throw frost bolts, Twilight throws fucking starbears and water towers.
1828844
Un-friggin-believable
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3880-SWAG.png
1828787
Never enough Skyrim.
EVER.
"Fus Ro fuck you."
Great! Another inappropriate catchphrase to add to my list!
Currently, my favourite is "(inspirational/interesting quote/fact) ladies~". It works best if you put your arms around two girl's shoulders (but only do that if you know them).
The dragons will be "Skyrim, huh? Nice place, a bit cool, but— OH SH*T DRAGONBORN" And then their soul is eaten.
Thank you for not using the arrow in the knee joke
1828788 mabey the did like a title inception thing. where the title of the episode is the joke.????
1828832
It's obvious Pinkie's either a Rogue or a Ninja. I mean, come on, have you seen her 'move silently' and 'hide' stats? How about her 'ranged weapon (cannon)' and 'ranged weapon (unicorn)' proficiencies? Instead of physical gold and treasure, she values friendship. How else would she be able to memorize each and every pony in ponyville, along with the dates of their personal celebratory events like anniversaries and birthdays? And don't even get me started on what happens when she thinks she's lost her 'treasure'.
Rainbow, i think, probably took classes in Barbarian. Heck, Rarity even says she's one.
Applejack has ranks in fighter, and maybe monk.
Twilight is probably a wizard/paladin. I mean, personal student of a goddess, people.
Fluttershy is definitely a druid.
Which leaves Rarity, and I'm not sure what her class would be.
1829728
Maybe this would help. And while we're on the topic, probably this. (D&D isn't Skyrim, though, and my knowledge of Skyrim is nil, so the things I just linked could be totally off.)
Oh, Good stuff, Miles. Good stuff indeed. Really liked this one. Especially the "Fus Ro Fuck You" at the end. I was rolling with laughter thinking about Celestia reading that part. I swear I think I love this twilight better then the original now.
Best part was the mentioning of Crackle.
Part with Crackle really good, but begining with crying Spike was.... Too much for me to laught about
YES.
1828788 Rainbow: "Fluttershy, will you come with us and watch the dragon migration?"
Fluttershy: *shakes head*
Rainbow: "But you must!"
Lol I laughed pretty hard at this one. Them references! Too good, too good.
King of the Horde
Should be "hoard"
You bastard, now I have the announcer's voice in my head.
This chapter utterly failed at being clever.