Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Buckball Season

THE FOAL FREE PRESS
SHOULD PATRIOTISM BE MANDATORY?

A fresh wave of controversy is erupting at sporting events across the nation, pitting matters of patriotism against peaceful protests.

It began in the up-and-coming National Buckball League as San Franciscolt 69'ers kicker Colton Kaeperneigh remained sitting during Equestrian's national anthem, as a peaceful protest against guard corruption and treatment of earth ponies. Supporters of Kaeperneigh applaud the kicker's actions, and include active duty guardsponies, and Equestrian Armed Forces.

"Freedom of expression is exactly what Equestria is all about. That includes sitting during the anthem."

Detractors claim it's grossly disrespectful of the sacrifices those in the armed forces have made. Several coaches of professional buckball teams have even mandated that everypony stand during the anthem as a sign of respect.

Others have a different point of view.

"If it's a matter of respect for you, that's fine." Began Appleloosa kicker Braeburn. "But that doesn't automatically make it a matter of respect to everypony else. Sitting during the anthem is a perfectly legal form of peaceful protest, it doesn't hurt anypony else, and to demand that patriotism be mandatory would make us no better than Fried Chik Un over in Ponyyang."

Author's Note:

Comments

[BronyWriter]

Supporters of Kaepernick

Wait, but in the previous sentence you spelled it Kaeperneigh. If you spelled it Kaepernick then... wait, are these chapters... parodies?!

[milesprower06]

7579753 No, I'm pretty sure it's just a string of coincidences.

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Pinkie Pie,

Cousin! Let's go bowling buckballing.

-Applejack

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Dear AJ and Dashie,

If you wanted a way to win it all. I could have been of assistance. Just say the word and I'll ready the sock puppet dimension for your cousin's team.

Your friend,
Captain Wuzz Discord

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Dear Applejack and Rainbow,

So you invite multiple unicorns but not me? I can understand if it's Twilight but me? I can fucking fly!!!

Pissed off and bored,
Starlight Glimmer

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Dear Starlight Glimmer,

Sorry. We just don't want a unicorn that forcibly removed our cutie marks on our team.

-Applejack and Rainbow Dash

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Dear Miss Cheerileeder,

Where the hell were you today? You were supposed to cheer our team on!

-Applejack

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Dear Applejack,

Sorry. I was too busy railing on your brother. You know he really likes my outfit just as much as I like his Sir McBiggun outfit.

In complete bliss,
Miss Cheerileeder

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Dear Snails,

Hey whats taking you so long????.... Where's my water???.... I'm still stuck in the hole that I fall in.... I'm dying of thirst.... Dude.... Dude!!!!

-Snips

[PiMan]

7579961
I know what Asterix and Obelix is, I just don't think Pinkie's costume is referencing Obelix nor anyone else from that comic.

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

Fried Chik Un over in Ponyyang."

You are too much!

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Should've figured you'd do a Kapernick reference here. Even South Park got in on the debate.

[BronyWriter]

7579768 Oh. Okay.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Dear Snails,

You've changed, colt. Remember when we used to go hang out with the Great and Powerful Trixie and get stuck to each other's butts? Now you're hanging out with adult mares and playing sports and getting treated seriously. What happened to you?

Snips
—
Dear Snips,

When you have experienced tranquility as I have, opening your mind to the true harmony that lies beyond and beneath this false world, you too will comprehend incomprehension. You too shall be enlightened, and thus know nothing. I look forward to that day.

Until then, I will continue throwing balls at attractive mares until I am ready for transcendence.

Your friend,
Snails

[Neko Majin C]

To whom it may concern at the Foal Free Press,

Everyone knows, and hates, the Equestrian National Anthem. It was written by Tyrant Celestia shortly after she banished Princess Luna to the moon and is the most vainglorious piece of outdated one hit wonder music ever written. Even more so than that I'm Too Sexy song by Right Said Frederik the Great. Seen here in Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's pinup poster.
cdn.someecards.com/posts/frederik-the-great-horse-OWd.jpg

"We all love Princess Celestia,
She really is the best-ia.
Are you a princess, too? No.
Only Princess Celestia!"

You are damn right I am going to sit out that worthless piece of horse excrement. It represents Equestria's old regime and has no place in modern society.

Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and photo cleaner (there was a lot of mare juice on that thing),
Neko Majin C.

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~KBO.

[General Grant]

Aaaand finally caught up. Love this story, I'm looking forward to seeing what you do in the future.

[milesprower06]

7601693 Writers have said they have ideas and plans, but nothing is set in stone yet. Point is, they've been wanting to do one for awhile, and yes, she has seriously been shoved to the background lately.

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

7602578 She has a million things to do each day as the ruler of the nation, I'd argue that every episode where she's unseen is an episode where she did that balancing act perfectly.