Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

A Matter of Principals

Dear Headmistress Twilight,

If any of the students complain about what happened while you were gone, blame Discord. He's Vice Headmistress and supervised most of the events that transpired.

Happy to be the guidance counselor again,
Starlight Glimmer

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Dear Starlight,

Yeah, good job. You managed to turn an asshole into a ghost asshole. Where did that get you? Right, nowhere.

And as headmare, I'll blame whomever I damn well please.

Sincerely,
Twilight

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Dear Discord,

Pranks aside, is it possible you could send Twilight on a friendship map quest to, we don't know... to her utter doom?

Sincerely,
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow, and Rarity

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Dear friends,

I might actually have stumbled upon something in another dimension. Twilight is our resident expert on magic, but I don't think even she would be able to solve the crisis of something called 'BioWare Magic'. I think it had something to do with an anthem or something. Who knows, all I know is she's not that musically gifted.

She'll be busy for years.

Or she'll go on a killing spree. One of the two.

Sincerely,
Discord

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"This tastes awful!" Discord commented as he chewed onto the pages of the E.E.A rule book.

"This is absolutely trash!" Discord added.

"That's because you took that from the trash," Spike said in a deadpan voice.

"Well then, it's got to go!" With that Discord threw the rule book behind him, it created a mini explosion upon impact with the floor.

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DA SKOOL RULES (E.E.A Approved)

The proper rules and requirements for any school to meet the standards of the E.E.A.

31) No class clowns are allowed in school and will be immediately sent back to the circus.

32) You'll never know.... because Discord ate it.

33) You'll never know.... because Discord ate it.

34) You'll never know.... because Discord ate it.

35) You'll never know.... because Discord ate it.

36) You'll never know.... because Discord ate it.

37) You'll never know.... because Discord ate it.

38) Lateness for class is instant detention. Just cuz you're saved by the bell doesn't mean you're safe from trouble. This isn't some 90's sitcom!

39) During Recess, there must be an elected playground king to oversea everypony in following the playground rules.

40) Any non-pony creature is to be transferred immediately to Monster High where these freaks of nature belong.

-Page 4-

Author's Note:

Comments

[JediWaffles]

king to oversea everypony

They will all be sent to foreign lands to fight. The true purpose of Twilight's school perhaps?

[Little_Draco]

Saved by the bell and Recess... Those are the only references I got.

[Level Dasher]

9548481
Monster High is another. A bit obvious, but not everybody knows it even exists. And they don't really want to (just my opinion).
Then Anthem by Bioware.

Love the Kool-Aid Yona in the A/N.

[Phazon]

She'll be busy for years.

Or she'll go on a killing spree. One of the two.

Why not both?

32) You'll never know.... because Discord ate it.

Fuck it, we only made one copy of this thing.

[Neko Majin C]

My dearest Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,

Discord came by the other day and said he wanted access to the Cutie Map. I, of course, said no, and he, in turn, of course, snapped his fingers and turned me into this thing.
3.bp.blogspot.com/-ksy5wHPyaRM/UJAstcZbGtI/AAAAAAAAC-I/U0aj1REoUvo/s1600/A+Haunting+We+Will+Go+Daffy+transformed.jpg
He did so without considering what such a change would do to my internal organs. Or my bones. I am writing this letter with what little strength I have left in between passing out from the pain and waking up from extreme pain in hopes that when you return you will have the time to return me to my original form. In the meantime, I apologize in advance for all the blood and bile I will be coughing up on your floor. I promise that when you heal me, I will clean it all up.

Signed your loyal slave who is about to pass out again,
Neko Ma

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~KBO.

[MarcosFury16]

Let me guess that second to last gif was ripped straight from DWK's Totally legit recap video.

[Alex Warlorn]

Okay, that last animated gif was actually funny.

[Coyotek4]

Looks like Yona's been drinkin' the Kool-Aid.

[NexusDragon]

Oh man, I'm not sure even disgruntled Twilight deserves the horrors of 'EA'.