Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Additonal content provided by MixMassBasher.
Dear soon to no longer be Princesses Celestia and Luna,
So, our resident Pokémare Trainer decided to replace the fruit bats that we exterminated due to reasons with a gigantamax tortrera to dick with the apple farm instead.
Initially, I only went there to laugh my ass off at Applejack’s hard work being ruined, but that changed when it tried to use Crunch on Vacuum Cleaner. Cleaning appliances don’t come cheap, you know? So, my gang started a Pokémare Go raid battle, but Pinkie didn’t get the memo and threw apples at it like it was Pokémare Snap.
Then, you two sisters decided to play with us, too. Our resident egomaniac was right to say that of all the shitty troubles we’ve faced, you decide that one beast rampaging a farm warrants the Royal Sisters’ Might? Where were you two during the ursa minor and bugbear attacks, then!?! What? Were the last two not what you needed to complete your Ponydex? Douches.
Now, can you two old hags get off my property!
Your soon to be dominant ruler of all of Equestria,Dictator Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princesses Celestia and Luna,
Why do we need some dumb celebration for the swans in your castle?
Signed,
Rainbow Dash
Dear Rainbow Dash,
They were mad that the geese got to help out in the Canterlot security system, but they didn’t. And you do not want angry swans shitting on the castle.
Signed,
Princess Luna
Dear Diary,
I'm pretty sure I just figured out how the Wild Blue Yonder closed down. Even though it was completely safe and the line went out the door.
Celestia probably forced Luna to go on that one too.
-Rainbow Dash
Dear Sister,
Before our retirement finally occurs, let us two best sisters play video games, instead. ‘Tis been a while since we’ve done that, anyway.
Signed,
Princess Luna
Dear Princesses Celestia and Luna,
You couldn't tolerate each other's presence until I switched your cutie marks many moons ago. In what way did you think that spending time together wouldn't result in disaster once more?
Just do your own personal lists, and not each other’s, and be done with this unnecessary plot.
Sincerely,
Starlight Glimmer
Dear Princess Luna,
So, did you really get sunburned in all those areas, or were you just having a good time with Daybreaker?
Sincerely,
Twilight Sparkle
There's a lotta little things you gotta do in this world.
But there's a lotta them you can kiss goodbye.
’Cause the coronavirus plunges the world to outbreaks,
So have lotta little lockdowns tonight.
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You should train your Vacuum Cleaner more, Twilight. Then it won't fall so easily to a single Crunch.
10838805
Could stand to do a few more pull-ups, too.
10838856
Or wing-ups
Celestia and Luna
Are you the responsible for throw a gigantic Toterra in my planet!? He covers the 70% were I live!!
North King Kai, from universe 7
P.S: By the way, South Kai questioning who blow up his galaxy
Dear princess Celestia
I know how you feels about those... monsters
Their soulless eye, their beaks, their comb, and those clucking in the darkness, hold on
...
...
...
THEY FOUND ME! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
The hero of time, Link
Swans are assholes.
10839263
From: Eurvos V. Morgenbrise, Gofer, Heavenly Government
To: South Kai, Universe 7, Dragon Ball Sector
Cc: North Kai, Universe 7, Dragon Ball Sector
Subject: Re: Galaxy Destroyed
Couldn't restore South Galaxy, but the culprit has been handled. Check on Planet Vampa... somewhere between Age 773 and Age 780. Not sure when it takes place, and much as I'd like to provide a waypoint event, our resident Dahaka* is looking at me funny, so maybe I shouldn't.
-EM
From: Eurvos V. Morgenbrise, Gofer, Heavenly Government
To: Link 5, Post-Civil War era, Hyrule Sector
Subject: Re: Angry Birds
I'm told that, during your era, horses projected a strange field of invincibility. Or was that just Epona's line? Considering her namesake, it's possible it was just her, since the one named after her... and that damn Dahaka's staring at me again. Seriously, dude?
In any case, how about those ReDeads in the Royal Tomb?
-EM
* Prince Of Persia: Warrior Within
camo.fimfiction.net/Bdj4Ei6oqP98QuuAE-DkP6s2PaEIBVE-KP_wP5YMsDM?url=https%3A%2F%2Fderpicdn.net%2Fimg%2Fview%2F2019%2F6%2F24%2F2073661.gif
Nice GIF!
So this is how the Two Best Sisters broke up. XD
10838856 And sit-ups, and make sure it drinks plenty of juice.
"Torterra."
My dearest Mistress Headmistress Empress Dictator Princess Twilight Sparkle,
When you finally become the undisputed tyrannical ruler of the world, where do you think the new capital of said world should be? I think you should take over an existing city and name it after yourself. I say "take over," but you will be the supreme evil ruler of the world, so you will already own everything. But naming someplace Las Twilight, or Twilightville, or Twilightalot, or Twilightsdale, or Twilighthatten, just sounds silly. And silly is not a proper image for a dictatorship. What about Twilight City? Or New Twilight City? Actually... Las Twilight sounds kind of sexy. Ooh! Sexyville! That is a cool name! You could put a brothel on ever corner! Like Walgreens! And you can turn all your friends into courtesans. Like Walgreens! Then you can finally get laid anytime you want! Like at Walgreens!
Signed your loyal slave and city planner,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.