Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

On Your Marks

On Your Marks
by milesprower06
Additional Contributions by MixMassBasher

BRO, DO YOU EVEN LIFT?

Learn how! Lifting Classes now available at Town Hall on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Instruction by Bulk Biceps.

Lift dumbbells, hay bales, boxes, buckets, baby dragons, and more!

---

Dear Apple Bloom,

I know it's hard to understand, but the three of you aren't joined at the hip. You have to develop what are known as hobbies. They're activities that you do with or without friends.

It's very important to have hobbies, especially for background ponies like you and me.

Your sister,
Applejack

---

Dear Scootaloo,

We're glad to hear you really like Bungie jumping.

Good activity to take up. It's always a good idea to jump away from a game developer when you realize they're turning to shit.

Sincerely,
Marty, Joe, & CJ

---

Dear Bulk,

Yeah, these holes are coming out of your next spa paycheck. Wood ain't cheap.

Sincerely,
Apple Bloom

---

Dear Apple Bloom,

If you wanted to go back to crusading your cutie marks once more I could have been of assistance.

Happy to help,
Starlight Glimmer

---

Inquiry to the Ponyville School of Ballet,

Ya'll mind teaching a certain purple alicorn some proper dancing moves? She dances like her ass is on fire.

Hopeful for a reply,
Applejack

---

Dear Applejack,

At least I dance better than Apple Bloom.

A much better dancer,
Twilight Sparkle

---

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

HEY!!!!

You want an applesauce explosion in your throne room?

Insulted,
Applebloom

---

Dear Apple Bloom,

So.... Now that you have your cutie mark. We can be friends again right? ...Right?

-Twist

---

Dear Tree Hugger,

As flattered as I am, I think I'll pass on being a nude art model.

You might check with Twilight though.

Sincerely,
Fluttershy

Author's Note:

Comments

[HiddenMaster]

Oh. That last pic got me. I knew that this image among many others in this episode was going to be taken and twisted by the internet in record time, but this was faster than even I expected. Shows what I know.

[euphgeek]

7111633 That's Tender Taps. A new pony introduced in this episode.

[Level Dasher]

Marty, Joe, & CJ

Dammit, this is going over my head. What is this a reference to?

[REDMAMBA]

That last picture in the AN terrible but i cant stop laughing.

[Diokno44]

So, what don't you like about Bungie? Is this about Destiny?

[terrycloth]

7111657 In other words, 'yes'.

[MixMassBasher]

I'm in an episode.

YEAH!!!!!

-Bulk "Snowflake" Biceps

-------------------------------
Dear Head of Art School,

May I sign up. I paint very happy little chaos in my crafts. I just bring the joy in painting. And chaos.
I'll even give you anything you want if you get rid of a certain green hippie pony from said Art School.

A talented painter;
Bob Ross Discord

[Jman14102]

derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/4/9/1128284__suggestive_screencap_scootaloo_sweetie+belle_looking+at+you_edit_plot_cutie+mark_edited+screencap_implied+foalcon.jpg
The amount of gifs and screen captions this episode has spawned is nothing short of glorious.
The creators knew exactly what they were doing when they made this episode.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Dear Apple Bloom,
If you wanted to go back to crusading your cutie marks once more I could have been of assistance.
Happy to help,
Starlight Glimmer

Starlight, we talked about this.

[articunos bitch]

It's very important to have hobbies, especially for background ponies like you and me.
Your sister,
Applejack

Applejack does have a very round, firm, back.

We're glad to hear you really like Bungie jumping.

Uh oh. Oh no! Halo or Destiny joke incoming!

Dear Apple Bloom,
So.... Now that you have your cutie mark. We can be friends again right? ...Right?
-Twist

Please say yes. She was right there, feet behind her, and Bloom walked away. I could say Twist just wants to bang her, but Twist would buck anyone. Perhaps an extra chapter involving Twist X Twilight?

7111665 I'm guessing three big names from Bungie Studios who left between Halo and Destiny.

[euphgeek]

7111696 So every orange pony with a purple mane and tail looks the same to you? Racist.

[Spartan-Guy 88]

Was it a good idea to let a child into the art studio during a "nude" art session? Probably not, but hey; a little childhood drama can build character, or send her into temporary insanity.

[Admiral Biscuit]

7111938
You know how there are two schools of thought when it comes to learning how to swim? With the one being just toss the kid in the deep end and assume they'll figure it out?

What better way to learn about the birds and bees than to . . . .

You know what? I'm going to hell for this.

[Level Dasher]

7111879 Ahhh, that would make sense... especially given what I believe the author's stance is on said franchises. Miles (or anyone with a definitive answer), can you confirm or deny? Just a "yes, that's who they are" or "no, wrong reference" is enough, but if it's the latter, a small explanation would be appreciated.

[PiMan]

7111938
Nudity in a (mostly) non-sexual context? Le gasp!
Of all places to become familiar with the nude body, there might be no place safer and less likely to cause trauma than at a nude/figure art session.

Also:

[meerkat8472]

Dear Apple Bloom,

I know it's hard to understand, but the three of you aren't joined at the hip.

Actually, considering their shared Cutie Marks, and the fact that Cutie Marks are kind of on the hip... They kind of are joined at the hip.

[Ribe_FireRain]

It wouldn't really be much of a surprise if Tender Taps is somehow related to Scootaloo, given their dangerously close resemblance. Looking at the bottom at that clip of Scoots looking at her own cutie mark and twirling around, that was really cute.

[ShadowLDrago]

Dear Apple Bloom,
If you wanted to go back to crusading your cutie marks once more I could have been of assistance.
Happy to help,
Starlight Glimmer

Starlight, you'd have traumatized the kids.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Dear Apple Bloom,

Wow. I knew you'd had a falling out with Lispy McGee, but I guess I don't count when I'm not a bitch anymore? Great positive reinforcement there, hayseed.

Diamond Tiara

[NobodieZ]

This was just plain hilarious!

[Biker_Dash]

We're glad to hear you really like Bungie jumping.
Good activity to take up. It's always a good idea to jump away from a game developer when you realize they're turning to shit.

OH COME ON! Destiny is freakin AWESOME!

[Streakofscarlet]

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

HEY!!!!

You want an applesauce explosion in your throne room?

Insulted,
Applebloom

Did Apple Bloom just misspell her own name?

I think Twilight may have a point about these "inbred birth defects".

Dear Apple Bloom,

I know it's hard to understand, but the three of you aren't joined at the hip. You have to develop what are known as hobbies. They're activities that you do with or without friends.

It's very important to have hobbies, especially for background ponies like you and me.

Your sister,
Applejack

That was fantastic.

[Mnemonic_Horse]

Dear Show Animators,

So you decided to improve the art style for Zecora's house? That's nice and all, but did you imbeciles use up all your time doing that and forget to give us our awesome playground equipment?

Very angry,
The Students of Ponyville School

[Iron Comet]

Why, just why did they bring Tree Hugger back?!?

[Neko Majin C]

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

HEY!!!!

You want an applesauce explosion in your throne room?

Insulted,

Applebloom

Dear Apple Bloom, which is two words,

Is "applesauce explosion" a euphemism for Apple family cum? Because if it is, that is definitely something Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle would like to be a part of and not mind me having to clean up the aftermath. If you are still interested, please bring your brother and your sister with you to have a fun time helping Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle decimate the throne room with your applesauces.

Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and apple saucier,
Neko Majin C.

---

---

---

~KBO.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

7113239 Dear Ponyville School Students,

Sorry, there wasn't enough money in the budget for both a more stylish Zecora hut AND your new playground equipment. But Zecora's hut was begging for a makeover.

No hard feelings,
Show animators

[kooarbiter]

animators pls, staph making ponies moon each other, pls stap

Dear Scootaloo,
We're glad to hear you really like Bungie jumping.
Good activity to take up. It's always a good idea to jump away from a game developer when you realize they're turning to shit.
Sincerely,
Marty, Joe, & CJ

this, a million times this

I love how applebloom completely forgot that she can just hang out with her friends without actually doing anything, she forgot about all her other friends, her alchemy hobby, she could have helped at the farm, and even though they have their cutie marks they still end up spending their episode doing random crap that doesn't go anywhere.

also, i ship ab and tap

[Smitty91]

Inquiry to the Ponyville School of Ballet,
Ya'll mind teaching a certain purple alicorn some proper dancing moves? She dances like her ass is on fire.
Hopeful for a reply,
Applejack

That was hilarious!

[Onyx Heart]

Scootaloo: Apple Bloom? Why does his udder have a extra, longer teat in the middle?

Me: That's his dick Scoots.

[Alex Warlorn]

7112524

Button (formerly Suri Polomare), "No, me turn out great." *crosses eyes*

[Alex Warlorn]

7112456

They were calling back to the CMC founding episode were Apple Bloom did the same thing.

[ShadowLDrago]

7128249

No. Just no.

[Alex Warlorn]

7112172

Ponyville seems to be a nudist colony.

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

I can't figure out how to make this into a funny letter, but there's approximately 53.6734 metric fucktons of background ponies with cutie marks that make no sense. LIKE EVERYONE IN THE MAYOR'S OFFICE EXCEPT THE MAYOR FOR INSTANCE.

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

Dear friend,

Are you happy? Do you feel lost? Spiritually unfulfilled? Like you were destined for a higher calling? We have good news: we're on a crusade to save ponies like you. It can be confusing when you don't know why you were put on this earth....

With a groan, Bon Bon crumpled up the letter and threw it in the trash. "Ugh, those Jehoovah's Witness ponies are so persistent!"

[Phazon]

Dear Apple Bloom,

If you wanted to go back to crusading your cutie marks once more I could have been of assistance.

Happy to help,

Starlight Glimmer

I'm confused. I thought Starlight Glimmer wasn't an evil, cutie mark stealing bitch anymore.

[jdb1984]

Unfotinately for Twist, her VA moved sometime after her only speaking role. MA Larson said as much during a panel at MLP-MSP. If she didn't, Twist would have been speaking in a season 3 episode.