Newbie Dash
Additional contributions by MixMassBasher
Dear Spitfire,
Amazing superhero landing!
But isn't that rough on the knees?
Sincerely,
Scootapool
Dash, Dash
Dash of Equestria
20% cooler she
(AAAAAHHHHHHH) *CRASH!!!*
Watch out for that tree!
Dear Rainbow Crash Dash,
Look on the bright side. At least they aren't teasing about how you always dress in style.
Your friend,
Fluttershy
Dear Discord,
I need a favor. A certain old nickname suddenly reminded me of some ponies I despise. Mind throwing some of my old classmates into your sock puppet dimension?
Your friend,
Rainbow Danger Professionalism Crash Dash
Three pegasi were suddenly thrown into the sock puppet dimension.
"Where the fuck are we?" Dumb-Bell cried out.
Suddenly music was played....
~It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight
It's time to put on makeup
It's time to dress up right
It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight
Dear Spitfire,
Worst Flyer gets clean up duty? WHY!?! I'm new at this Wonderbolts business.
Frustrated,
Rainbow Dash
Dear Rainbow Trash Dash,
It was either that or do what the Management of Rainbow Factory does.
Your commander,
Spitfire
Dear Rainbow Dash,
That was identity theft you fucking asshole!
Ticked off,
Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack and Pinkie Pie
Dear Pinkie Pie,
So, what did you do to that cotton candy vendor!?! I went to get a snack for myself and see the booth covered in lots and lots of pink stuff... The evidence seems to all points to you. WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK!? You stay the hell away from me...
A frightened princess,
Twilight Sparkle
Dear Rainbow Dash,
So what was Spitfire's nickname? Hm?
Was it Shitfire? Did she have the stomach flu when she flu flew in on her first day?
Or did she get her nickname later on? Was it Slutfire because she was a shoo-in for squad captain, but slept with the previous one anyway? Is she still putting out? Maybe she'd like to put on a private show for Ponyville's royalty.
Or was it something like 9/11 because she partied so hard upon getting promoted that she flew into headquarters?
-Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Don't worry about first impressions. I had that problem too with the Canterlot Guard. My nickname was Whining Armour cause I cry too much. Can you believe that?
Signed,
Prince Shining Armour
P.S. Tell Twily that, a few days ago, our niece was cursed by a pointy headed witch and attacked by a dark wizard with no nose. What's next? Queen Chrysalis?
Well, I'm very glad that all the more in-depth reviews have pretty much dismissed all the major criticisms everyone had with this episode. I honestly believe Rainbow Dash's impressions of her friends were meant to be cringeworthy, and just because you're not familiar with ritualistic hazing doesn't automatically make it bullying. Done and done.
Overall, great episode.
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The really funny part is that Dash was trying to get them to do that with her Rarity impression.
On that note:
Dear Rainbow Dash,
If you ever teach Rarity how to curl her mane that quickly, we will not be responsible for what happens afterwards. You'll wish we just touched your hooves.
Yours,
Aloe and Lotus
Many people are bashing on this episode, but I consider it to be my second favourite Rainbow Dash episode, if it weren't for Tanks for the Memories.
Just remember all of the tropes of movies like Holes, How to Train Your Dragon, or even R.I.P.D. and this episode stands out as a great one...
Yes.
Yes, granted, the Bolts may have taken it a bit too far as it did affect her performance, but considering how it COULD have been, it could have been worse.
7200577 Um, no.
Bullying is intimidation and coercion used to keep someone down or obedient.
Hazing is humiliation for group initiation.
Similar acts, maybe, but vastly different purposes.
7200611
That does not actually make it any better.
7200639 Depends on the point of view, I suppose.
7200643 Wow never thought about it that way. Reminds me of my friends having the hobby of teasing/trolling one another.
7200611 Didn't Rainbow seem down and a bit intimidated to you?
7200660 More because of her own expectations than the other 'Bolts expectations or their actions.
The minute they called Soarin "clipper" I knew what was up and how it was going to end. One of the more predictable episodes for me.
7200670 Predictable? Yes, but Rainbow didn't have unreasonable expectations. She expected a professional group of ponies who acted maturely and responsibly. It's the fact that sometimes the person being hazed doesn't realise it that makes it as bad as bullying, in my opinion anyway.
7200660
Yes. The entire point of the hazing is to see whether the new guy "has what it takes" to be in the group and it comes to an end once that question has been answered. Bullying just goes on and on without any purpose beyond inflating the bully's ego. The episode didn't go on long enough to see whether or not the hazing stretched into bullying. If they were still ganging up on her weeks or months later, then I'd count it as bullying.
7200690 I can see that, but it was the fact that Rainbow was afraid of it going on and on forever that made it as bad as bullying, cause that was how she interpreted it.
The episode was booooring as fuuuuuuuck, but other than that I wouldn't say it had any real flaws. I didn't have problems with the Wonderbolts' actions or whatever other things people have had problems with. Just that everything about RD, flying and the wonderbolts is even less interesting than the Rarity fashion stuff and AJ's family stuff.
I didn't see it as bullying at all, but maybe that's just because it's how we treat our best friends down here in Australia.
7200696 don't you and your friends rag on each other from time to time? Even if the Wonderbolts are a professional team; the fact stands that they are still just mortal sentient creatures. Laughter is needed to keep any living, rational creature sane (and no Pinkie is insane so Laughter is too remarks >.> )). Every single job out there that doesn't 'breed discontent' (and most that do) has nicknames, jokes, and general silliness behind the scenes. Military forces of all types, sports, department store staff, construction teams, teachers, most office jobs... Heck Politicians do it too. I think the only one I know of that doesn't are lawyers...
A group of beings that don't have inside jokes or some form of snark is more of a dull machine than a living cluster. Yes, many take that snark and joke too far, but I don't think the WonderBolts did that here. From what my military buddies have told me about this episode, it's fairly spot on and they appreciated the little jab at them from it, since the WonderBolts are a Military organization. Those group jokes and snarks are most of the humor they get normally. Hell, my cousin is called 'Puff Butt' in the national guard, cause he somehow had two shirts in the back of his pants, padding his butt, on his first day of training.
So the next time you see a rampaging dragon or a being of dark power attacking Equestria, remember that Dash could be called in at any moment to aid in the fight, just like they were called in to try and fight Spike when he Greed Gianted.
Gotta hand it to RD episodes, they get people talking.
Actually, Rarity, when Rainbow Dash styled her mane like you she was acting like her past incarnation. She and you have a lot in common.
7200795 Yes, me and my friends do rag on each other a little every now and then, but we always make sure it is in a tone that makes it clear that we're kidding. It didn't seem to clear to me when the 'bolts did it. That is where the problem lies. Among friends such things develop over time, this was Rainbow's first day. Yes she had met many of them previously, but not all of them and those she has met she hasn't had a lot to do with. They didn't make it clear that they were joking, didn't even give much positive encouragement, if they had done that while throwing in the occasional 'Crash' that would have been fine. Really though I don't blame Rainbow for not feeling very accepted.
Dear Spitfire,
Dashie's ego is kind of fragile, so don't ride her too hard, ok? In exchange, I'll let you ride me however hard you like ;).
-Princess Twilight Sexy Sparkle
Dear Twilight,
Spirfire just gave me 5 weeks of KP, and she won't tell me why! You'd better not have had anything to do with this!
-Rainbow Dash
Oh, they added Starlight to the cover. Real nice!
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That was what I first thought.
Now for my two-cents on the episode's "mixed" reception.
I've read some think this (Rainbow and the nickname) is reminiscent of PTSD. If you think that, you're insulting people who actually have PTSD. This was about Dash not wanting to fail when she had finally earned the dream life. Nothing really more than that.
I've been in Boy Scouts, done sports, and have done leadership training. This sort of "hazing" stuff was part of all that. I've been treated "poorly" as the new guy (older scouts get food before younger ones). I've made up nicknames to insult my companions ("Leroy" was a good one for this one kid). I've put guys in their place (that's not cool, as older Scout, I tell you to quit it) and have criticized their failures (stop being stupid, bro). It's all a part of being a team as we all are striving to achieve a single goal and require utmost efficiency. Efficiency requires discipline. None of the Wonderbolts were being hurtful to Dash, not at all. There's noting wrong with being mean as long as you don't take it too far (which is "making it personal"). Rainbow Dash was just experiencing true team life for the first time. They are not like her friends, but they are still friends.
It's too bad Dash's pride kept her from taking Spitfire aside and letting her know that her new nickname has a lot of emotional baggage.
Bullshit. The problem with the episode is it's another example of the show forgetting Rainbow's seminal episodes and best episodes, the ones that defined who she was until Rainbow Falls assassinated her character.
I'm talking Gilda the Brush Off, Wonderbolts Academy, and Flight to the Finish among others.
http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/628135/newbie-dash-or-fuck-this-fuck-this-fuck-this
7200820 Look, Rainbow had a big crash her first day, so they called her Rainbow Crash. Unlike with bullies, they only called her Crash in private, either at the Wonderbolts HQ or when nopony else could hear. That's the critical difference.
7200820 actually, they were positively supportive while doing it. Dash was just off her game cause she was afraid due to fear of first impression. If you remember, Misty Flier spoke with her in a friendly manner when they were entering the lockers. Dash just was in panic mode and tried to play it off, so she wasn't accepting the positive. As for Spitfire's remarks during training, they didn't have much time and Dash was holding back due to lost nerves. Spitfire is your typical drill sergeant... So when in practice, all business and intense seriousness. They ALL knew that Dash could EASILY pull off what they were asking of her, as later stated when they were all praising her post 'Epic Fall', so Spitfire was annoyed that the best flier was failing. Not exactly something that makes a Drill Sergeant kind...
I honestly believe that Spitfire, and maybe to a lesser extent the other 'Bolts, all view Dash as THEIR hero... And very little hurts more than seeing your hero fail... "You're the greatest flier we've ever had!" "Not to mention that you've saved Equestria like a dozen times!" Those are EXTREMELY high praise coming from beings like the WonderBolts... Meaning they KNOW she's awesome, and capable. They KNOW she's better than she was showing them. Nerves and feels were probably tight all over.
Unlike Dash, however, the other 'Bolts've lived through the 'meeting an idol' phase before because they all aspired to be 'Bolts as well, so meeting their Hero (Dash) wasn't a massive blow, just her performance. As stated, they all gotten that same treatment when they started out. Even "Shitfire"... Sorry, couldn't resist
People giving you nicknames at work? Sounds like real life!
Seriously though, get over it. They're just having fun, and everyone has one.
This episode hit home for me, to be honest. I remember when I was in the marching band, taking directions without exception. And it sucked. And that moment where Rainbow says that you always get remembered for the negatives rather than the positives... it was like I was looking in a mirror... you know, aside from pretending to be my friends and trying t stand out on purpose. But she did the one thing that's most important in being a member of something: sticking with it to the end. Regardless of what happens, how bad her days are, or what ponies say, she stays because that's what she honestly wants to do.
So yeah, regardless of what people thought of this episode, or how it "destroys the Wonderbolts' credibility even further" (... How?), or that there wasn't enough cow bell, I'll always remember this episode as the one I personally identified with and respected the most.
I enjoyed this episode a lot actually. The mane 6 impressions were random and... out there. But I liked it nonetheless.
Yes the imitation were maybe meant to be cringy, but that didn't make it any less painful to watch.
As for the episode, I didn't mind the thing. The wonderbolts are a military organisation (shown by them being sent to fight Greed!Spike and Tirek). Offensive nicknames are par for the course, to weed out those who wouldn't be fit for it, if they can't take a bit of namecalling, how are they meant to react to harsher training.
Suprised Rarity didn't invite RD over to play dress up.
Remove the "ed".
From the Law Offices of Screwem, Goode, & Harde
Miss Rainbow Dash,
It has been brought to our attention that you have been using copyrighted material in your performances. The "nerdy bookworm" persona is owned by
MistressPrincess Twilight Sparkle. The Princess of Friendship has asked that you cease and desist all further usage of her adorable and most attractive and endearing character traits post haste under penalty of—Forgive me, Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle, but if I write that, I do not think even Dash will believe this Cease and Desist order is real.
Well... it is just that, even someone as stupid as her would be suspicious of a Cease and Desist order that graphically describes, in detail, the act of orgasm torture.
—three months of very hard time in Princess Twilight Sparkle's dungeon.
Signed Princess Twilight Sparkle's Attorney at Law,
Dewey Cheatum.
~KBO.
Dear Applejack,
For your information, I was trying to get my nickname changed to "Buy Some Apples." You're welcome for the free subliminal advertising!
-RD
7200834
i refuse to believe that bitch twilight cares that much about dash or her ego
7204355 Not per se, but it seemed like a good opportunity to make a pass at Spitfire and appear to be caring about Rainbow.
7204692
Unfortunately, I didn't like Newbie Dash as well, and I'm currently in the US Army and even I feel that the episode did a poor job at portraying military camaraderie and a newbie's first time in a military-like group.
7200577
Exactly what hazing was Rainbow really subjected to?
She was given an embarrassing nickname.
She was forced to clean the practice yard on the day she was the worst flyer.
She was forced to clean the show yard when she screwed it up.
The last is punishment for a screw-up. The second appears to be a standing rule, and in the future it seems unlikely she'll be doing it much if ever. So if the claim is that the Wonderbolts were hazing her, all you're left with its a nickname. And, like call signs in the Air Force (the Wonderbolts are based on the Blue Angels, which are part of the US Air Force), you don't get too choose your nickname. Your teammates choose it for you, and it will often be something you don't want.
I think Spitfire's name was actually Spitroast. I think we all know why.
7205550
7205980
7205550
You know a recent fimfiction story regarding the recent episode was called Slipfire
You've been roommates with a dragon for the past who knows how many years. You tell us what Shitfire is.
But seriously, should that be "was," not "what"? I might've understood if she'd gotten a response from Dash after asking about the nickname, but not halfway through writing a letter to her.
Too soon, dude. Too soon.
Yes, I'm being sarcastic. Did I really need to say that? Yeah, probably.
7210022 The dislikes just further prove me right. It's funny how much thought people put into a cartoon about cartoon ponies and then when you don't agree or know that some theory out there is just pure bullshit, ppl get mad and downvote your comment. Just wow, so glad I don't visit this site much anymore. It went from awesome to shit quick.
I remember that movie. Good times.
She is undoubtedly the biggest slut on the team.
That Scootalocker, genius.
7215953 I agree with you, but don't berate the website because of a loud or rather 'very active' minority.
On a related note.
This is actually something that annoys me, but I can never tell if it's the movie directors or the comic artists who are fucking it up. If you have the durability to land a drop from a significant distance, you're supposed to move forward on impact, whether by springing or rolling. In either case, your momentum goes into getting you to wherever you're going instead of damaging public property and your body.
I have it on good authority that it was Swallowfire.
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