The Mean Six
Additional contributions by MixMassBasher.
"And I will rule as Queen once again!!!" Queen Chrysalis shouted as she cast her spell.
Queen Chrysalis smiled sinesterly at the birth of her new evil minions. Her sweet, sweet revenge has just begun...
"Hiya! I'm Pinkie Pie. Wanna be my friend?" Clone Pinkie Pie shouted out happily, bouncing towards the copy of Fluttershy.
"Oh urm... okay..." Clone Fluttershy whispered softly as the pink mare got into her face.
"Yippie!" Clone Pinkie Pie cheered, causing Clone Fluttershy to shrink back.
"Hey, back off! That's my friend! Give her some space!" Clone Rainbow Dash shouted.
"Oh! Sorry," Clone Pinkie Pie apologized, mane deflating a little.
"Don’t worry! You just need to tone it down, sugarcube," Clone Applejack answered, consoling Clone Pinkie.
"Well, howdy there, I'm AJ," Clone Applejack said as she introduced herself to Clone Rainbow Dash.
"Sup. The names Dash. Rainbow Dash," Clone Rainbow Dash replied.
"Up for a race?" Clone Applejack smirked.
"Oh ho ho ho. You're on!" Clone Rainbow shouted.
"Oh, my! What a marvellous manecut! Just who is your hairdresser?" A voice interrupted, which revealed to belong Clone Rarity.
"I'm not too sure, actually," Clone Rainbow Dash answered, scratching the back of her neck.
"Pretty sure that her hairstyle is natural considering we're a product of a spell," Clone Twilight Sparkle explained matter of factly.
"Oh, that's cool!" Clone Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
It was then that Clone Pinkie Pie hopped up to Clone Twilight Sparkle.
"Hiya! I'm Pinkie Pie. Wanna be my friend?" Clone Pinkie Pie asked once again this time more politely.
"Urm... Sure!" Clone Twilight Sparkle agreed with a happy smile.
Queen Chrysalis could only stare dumbfounded at the giggling mares before growling in anger.
"Listen to your queen! We must retrieve the Elements of Harmony!" Queen Chrysalis demanded.
"One question, though," Clone Pinkie Pie interrupted.
"WHAT!?" Queen Chrysalis bellowed.
"Are you our mommy?" Clone Pinkie Pie questioned.
That comment caused Queen Chrysalis’ eye to twitch in response.
Dear Sunburst,
After a recent camping trip, and hearing from other ponies of their own camping trips, I've come up with this little equation:
Camping = Disaster.
That pretty much sums things up, doesn't it?
Your friend,
Starlight Glimmer
"Gah!" Clone Twilight Sparkle cried out as she was ambushed.
"You're it! Hey, how'd you get ahead of me? Or am I high again?" Pinkie asked herself.
"Pinkie are you alright?" Clone Twilight Sparkle asked politely, realizing that she bumped into her friend.
"I'm fine! Only a little stoned. Not that I mind," Pinkie happily explained.
"I see... Have you seen Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash? They got separated from us," Clone Twilight Sparkle questioned.
"Don't know. Maybe they're up ahead at the Tree of Harmony?" Pinkie started to say. "Ohhh! Look! Roses. Just smell these roses!"
Pinkie immediately scooped up a bunch inhaling them deeply in her muzzle. "Ahhh! Oh, yeah!"
Curious, Clone Twilight Sparkle followed suit, smelling it softly.
"Hmmmm... Yes these are lovely." Clone Twilight Sparkle admitted, sniffing the flora with a happy smile.
"Yup! Especially if you grind them to bits and mix it with some pot!" Pinkie happily uttered.
"P-P-Pot!?! What!?! Pinkie, are you insane? This doesn't seem like you."
"What are you talking about Twi? I've always been this way!" Pinkie asked in curiosity.
Dear Discord,
Wanna hang out? I've got nothing to do. Wasn't invited to a certain camping trip.
Your role-playing friend,
Spike
Dear Spike,
You bring the chips, Big Mac brings the cider, and I'll bring the alternate universe.
Let's get our O&O on!
Sincerely,
Discord
"Oh, Rainbow Dash. I'm so glad you're here. I was lost." Fluttershy happily uttered as she saw her flying friend.
"I know. I was looking for you everywhere! Are you hurt?" Clone Rainbow Dash asked, her voice held a tinge of concern. Fluttershy took note of this sudden change in behavior from her long time friend.
"Um, Rainbow? Is something wrong? You're usually much more self-centered," Fluttershy asked politely.
"Since when? I never leave a pony hanging. Come on!" Clone Rainbow Dash exclaimed before dashing off to the skyline.
"What just happened?" Fluttershy asked out loud.
"Finally you found her!" Clone Rarity said in relief.
"Me? We're looking for Fluttershy!" Rainbow angrily shouted.
"Where's Starlight?" asked Applejack.
"Well, if I knew that—" Clone Rarity started to say before noticing Rainbow had a mud stain on her tail.
Clone Rarity immediately used her magic to tug on Rainbow's tail before levitating a napkin to clean it up.
"Hey!" Rainbow Dash whined as she felt her tail being pulled.
"There. Much better. Can't have a good friend of mine have her coat dirtied," Clone Rarity finally said.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked at each other then back to Rarity. She hadn't complained even once about the camping trip in her over-dramatic fashion like she usually does.
"Rarity, what in the hay didya’ hit yer head with?" Applejack asked, wondering what was wrong with Rarity.
"Nothing. Whatever made you think that, darling?"
"Who's breakin' what now?" Clone Applejack asked before looking at Starlight. "Who are you?"
"Very funny, Applejack. Still me under all this gear. Starlight."
"Starlight? How 'bout that? Y'all better come with me. It's, uh, dangerous out here."
"Applejack, darling, are you alright? You look a little peaked. And where's your wagon?" Rarity inquired.
"Uh... you see... The truth is that I'm a clone of Applejack that was sent here by Queen Chrysalis to take revenge on Starlight by retrieving the Elements of Harmony. It's the honest truth."
Starlight and Rarity merely stared at the mare’s proclamation.
"Ugh, fine! Don't tell us then! And here I thought you were the element of honesty." Starlight said.
Rarity just looked at Clone Applejack and huffed in her face before trotting off, leaving Clone Applejack mentally thanking herself for this stroke of luck.
Dear Applejack,
You packed everything and the kitchen sink. How could you not have anything in that wagon of yours for mane maintenance?
Your friend,
Rarity
"Pinkie. There you are. Where the fuck were you?" Disgruntled Twilight exclaimed as she flew down next to Clone Pinkie Pie.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Disgruntled Twilight added.
"Shhhhh. Listen," Clone Pinkie Pie interrupted, staring intently at the enlarging bubble.
"POP!" came the sound of the bubble as it burst.
"Hahahahaha. These pop sounds are so entertaining. Hehehehehe," Clone Pinkie Pie giggled.
Disgruntled Twilight just stared at Clone Pinkie Pie before she shrugged it off, figuring that the dumb mare was on yet another one of her drug stupors.
It was at this moment that Disgruntled Twilight saw Clone Rainbow Dash flying in the distance.
"Hey, Rainbow Dash, you dumb bitch! Pinkie's stoned again!" Disgruntled Twilight shouted.
"What!?!" Clone Rainbow Dash screamed as she stopped in her tracks. "We have to get our friend help, immediately!"
With that, Clone Rainbow Dash grabbed Clone Pinkie Pie and flew off into the distance.
Disgruntled Twilight just stared dumbfounded at the retreating figure of the pegasus before shaking her head at how her nimrod friends were acting on ten different levels of crazy today.
To Quills and Sofas,
Do ya'll happen to sell sinks? The one in our kitchen is missing.
Sincerely,
Granny Smith
"Girls. What Queen Chrysalis is doing is wrong. We have to put a stop to it. Follow my lead," Clone Twilight Sparkle explained.
"I'm down," Clone Applejack was the first to answer.
"Sure," Clone Pinkie Pie quipped.
"For the good of the ponies," Clone Rarity answered.
"Let's do this!" Clone Rainbow Dash proclaimed.
"Yay," Clone Fluttershy added in.
"How dare you! I created you! You think you can stop me?" Queen Chrysalis bellowed firing up an attack spell.
"Oh, yes, we can. As long as we have friendship in our hearts. The powers of Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Loyalty and Magic will aid us," Clone Twilight Sparkle shouted with all her heart, her eyes glowing white.
With that, the Clones used the very magic that created them to power the elements that blasted Queen Chrysalis to kingdom come.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Queen Chrysalis shouted as she blasted off again into the sky until she was just a twinkling star in the distance.
"Thank you for being my friends," Clone Twilight Sparkle said to her fellow clones with a tear in her eye as she and others disintegrated back into ordinary sticks.
"Are you fucking kidding me!?!" Disgruntled Twilight yelled, looking at the destroyed campsite. Her plans for sexy fun times during their friendship retreat ruined.
"This was... the worst... day... ever!" Pinkie Pie laughed over the destroyed campsite before collapsing from drug overdose.
Don't worry. She'll be fine. She's Pinkie Pie, after all.
"The only thing worse around here is Twilight," Applejack joked.
This led to a multitude of chuckles from the other ponies, much to the chagrin of Disgruntled Twilight.
Dear Chryssi,
You should have saved your revenge plans for the season finale. Now that evil pink filly will beat you to the punch.
And what's with that plan of yours, anyway? You pretty much did the same concept of making opposite versions of the Mane Six that I did six seasons ago.
Plus, you honestly expect me to believe that by gathering the elements, and with the snap of your hooves, all of creatures Equestria would turn to dust? News flash. Those magical macguffins don't work that way.
A stupid tree stopped your plans. A TREE! So what? Your next revenge plot will be to chop down the Tree of Harmony!?!
Now, don't give me that look you're giving me now. You've done this type on revenge plot before. Kidnapping the disaster trio and attempting to harness Twilight's magic using a macguffin comet.
In fact, you're a changeling! The possibilities of perfect planning are practically endless!
Why not impersonate Starlight and frame her as a complete asshole, making her lose everyone she cares about?
Or maybe you could disguise yourself as that Ocellus girl and ruin the school’s reputation that dear Starlight is part of.
Seriously, what happened to you?
Your fellow troublemaker,
Discord
"Then I said to the noble that technically he was so uptight that the stick up his plot reached all the way through his lying little nose," Mudbriar explained.
"That’s funny," Maud replied in monotone.
"The noble didn't think so and socked me in the muzzle," Mudbriar explained further.
"Ouch," Maud flinched, somehow without emotion.
"That was the reply I made, as well," Mudbriar clarified.
"And then the noble said... Hold on..." Mudbriar’s voice trailed off, looking downwards.
"What is it?" Maud asked.
Picking up the multi-coloured sticks, Mudbriar inspected them intently, "Interesting. These sticks seemed to be imbued with changeling magic."
"Cool," Maud replied.
"I'm keeping this," Mubriar finally said, picking up the stack of sticks and trotting off with Maud in tow.
Dear Canterlot Historical Society,
So, where the fuck is the entry on my School of Friendship?! You were supposed to post that entry weeks ago!
Signed,
Headmistress Twilight Sparkle
To Headmistress Twilight Sparkle,
What entry?
Signed,
Canterlot Historical Society
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The Anti-Six are nicer than the Mane Six.....
Yeah, that checks out.
9490866 Sounds legit.
Am I the only one who saw Mudbriar holding six misshapen pony dildos in that third to last image?
Nice shout-out to the Secretariat Comet Crisis in the comics. And honestly, minus Disgruntled Twilight (even though yes, I know she's the whole focus of this series), this would make a fantastic episode. All the hilarious confusion with none of the evil.
XD Now Disgruntled!Twilight can send the clone to do all the world saving while she sits back and proceeds to fuck everything with a pulse and just generally laze about! IT'S PERFECT!
You need a "to" in the middle of these.
This period should be a comma.
"All of the creatures in Equestria."
The "on" should be "of".
My dearest Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,
You know that sexy, photographer mare that took your picture and a strand of your mane that you wanted added to your stable? Well, she seems to have disappeared from the face of the planet. She is absolutely nowhere. Did she say where she is from? All the research you had me do turned up nothing. Therefore, I am laboring under the assumption that she is possibly a ghost or wraith. I apologize, I have failed you. I am afraid we may never be able to add Shutter Bug to your sexy dungeon.
Signed your apologetic loyal slave and utter failure,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
Love the Space-Balls reference in the last pic.
Right, in this verse they're such screw-ups, that of course their defective clones will be happy and well adjusted individuals.
And... the clones actually have a meaningful death, know happiness and love before the end...
Instead of their short miserable existence as Chrysalis slaves before the tree of harmony slaughters them and doesn't even try to attack the much more evil Chrysalis, this is shocking.
Discord is really speaking for the fanbase.
"Seriously, what happened to you?"
What happened to the scheming manipulative hive queen we all knew and loved to hate?
And why the hell haven't you spawned a new swarm yet?
Rest well, Clone Six. Though you didn't have long to live, you faced your Disgruntled selves and your own mortality with grace and courage.