Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Maud Pie
Dear Diary,
So my sister Maud has decided to visit before going off on a research trip towards her rocktorate degree. So I brought everypony together to taste test for the necklaces we always make together. Talk about eye rock candy.
But to my dismay, everypony was having a really hard time bonding with her when she arrived. I guess I kinda left the fact that she's an introvert out of the equation. She never has much to talc about, but it's still gneiss having her here. These candy necklaces are gonna be the schist! It just goes to prove that you should never take your sister for granite. The way she flew through that igneous obstacle course to smash that boulder to pieces totally rocked!
So when she left for her research trip, things got a bit sedimental, and we all gave and traded candy necklaces.
I'm just glad the people watching us got to see this episode that was written by a new writer! Finally, someone with a clean slate!
- Pinkie Pie
Dear Diary,
Thank Celestia Maud didn't stay. For a moment there I was afraid there'd be a seventh added to the group and we'd have to change up the theme song.
- Twilight Sparkle
~Twilight Sparkle is a bitchy princess
Trying so hard to get a good fuck
Applejack is a background farmer
Spending all day giving trees the buck
Rarity is a fashion designer
Sewing up threads for the perfect look
Rainbow Dash is a weather pony
Napping during work with her Daring Do book
Fluttershy is an animal sitter
Never taking any of that bunny's shit
Pinkie Pie is a partying junkie
Going insane for that next hit
And then there's Maud!
And then there's Maud!
That boulder-punching, pebble-munching, anything-but-candy crunching,
Right on, Maud!
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Maud! Maud! Maud!
LOLZ at the song reference. Time to boot up one of the old syndicated channels.
Great as ever!
As a geoscience major, I really dig the rockin' puns.
At the same time, Maud was a really gneiss character I hope she can be a repeat character, as silicate as that may sound. She may seem a bit stony, and have a weird apatite considering how she liked that 'muffin', but not many other one off characters seemed to scoria as much attention as she has so quickly
Those rock puns. Oh Gawd I can't handle it.
Great reference loved the rock puns
No That's not how you write Pinkie Pie
4089980 She's like, the only character that's broken the fourth wall. That's exactly how you write Pinkie.
4089988 Yeah, but she's never done it like that. I mean, she never said stuff like "Ooh, a new writer" or "I've seen the script for the episode"
4089993 Well, this fic is so ridiculously out-of-character, and as we've not seen her break the fourth wall through writing, I call it creative liberty.
4089997 Makes sense I guess
You know, ever since the episode of love poisoning with Big Mac dragging that house we never really get to see any great examples of earth pony strength. Seeing Maud just tear through that course and smash that boulder to pieces with her bare hooves was nice. Makes me wonder what exactly her cutie mark was since it was covered by that . . . shirt I guess?
4090049
It's a rock (surprisingly ), it can be seen for a little moment after she smashes the rock.
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/717/907/79f.png
4090122
...You know what that looks like? A tiny image of Tom. Sure, they probably just reused the vector, but it's still funny if you think about it as being Tom.
As a Dwarf Fortress fanatic, I also dig the rockin' puns.
Pinkie! No! Stahp! No more puns!
Love the new cover art, though.
No, just no! Also, what is that songs tune?
"Hey Vegeta, what's the info bar say about the comments on this fanfic?"
"It's over SIXTY-NINE THOOOUUUSAAANNND!"
Deepest apologies for the ancient meme. But still, Twilight oughta have something to say about that.
Hold on a second. This is an episode where Pinkie states that the rock candy is made out of rocks with "secret" composition... how is there not some sort of joke regarding meth?!
Really? No crack cocaine jokes from Pinkie? I don't know whether I should be disappointed or proud.
4090325
Sixty-nine hundred, actually. Kind of an important distinction.
4090455
'Rock' Candy.
4090455 But then Vegeta wouldn't have anything to say...
...
Jesus, fine. But that 69 ain't goin' anywhere.
P.S. I forgot to mention that my friends just stood by and nearly let me get crushed by a gaint rock. Were they all stoned or something? I was in danger, and they didn't even lift a hoof to help me? Remind me again why I let them have my secret stash of drugs.
4089846 She's rocked our word. She will, she will, rock us!
4090126 I guess you haven't seen the threads where people are talking about BoulderTom ships yet
Pinkie Pie was a persistent frowner,
but then her life was turned around by a Sonic Rainboom.
Blinkie Pie is one of Pinkie's sisters,
she hasn't had a speaking role, but maybe she will soon.
Inkie Pie is just like her sister,
she's important to the family and maybe the show.
Igneous Rock is the head of the rock farm,
he rotates the rocks and he cares for his kids.
Cloudy Quartz is the family matriarch,
it's from her we got Pinkamena Diane Pie.
Twilight Sparkle was a studious unicorn,
Now she's a princess and an alicorn too.
Rarity designs a lot of dresses,
She sells to nudists yet she's somehow rich.
Rainbow Dash is a speedy tomboy,
she has rainbow colored hair, but she's totally not gay.
Fluttershy has a way with animals,
she shy and cute, but that's about it.
Applejack is a hardworking pony,
out in the orchards bucking apples all day.
Apple Bloom is the head crusader,
he has a bow in her head, so she's basically Blossom.
Sweetie Belle has the voice of an angel,
unless she's trying in which case cover your ears.
Scootaloo has small wings and she can't fly,
but don't point it out because it's totally not cool.
Princess Celestia has ruled for a thousand years,
benevolently too, though she's still a troll.
Princess Luna was corrupted by darkness,
now she's back with the ponies help.
Discord is the reformed Lord of Chaos,
he's still causing problems. Now he's like the genie.
Spike is a dragon and Twilight's assistant
he's the butt of the jokes, but he's still a good guy.
And then there's Maud.
I was like 'he misspelled "Talk" then I was like "puns......"
Riiiiight... Rock candy is exactly what they're making. *coughcrystalmethcough*
Congratulations Pinkie and Maud Pie.
You two are the new Walter White and Jesse.
REMEMBER THEIR NAMES
4090707
Somewhere out there, Peter Griffin frowns upon you.
By the way, anybody remember that Maude ate rocks? Suddenly THIS doesn't seem so impossible
I find it funny that people are in love with Maud's blasé attitude.
Oh wait, my mistake! Grandpa has been getting pussy nonstop after the stroke. Silly me.
I know it's just a figure of speech, but did Twilight seriously say "Thank Celestia" in her diary entry? She thanked Celestia for something?! How is that even possible?
100 milestone is right around the corner. What are planning to do?
4091132 Nothing special. I'm waiting for 1,000,000 hits across both here and Fanfiction.net (has about 106,000 over there) to do something special.
So Right now we're at about 942,000 hits.
4089997 works for me.
4089988 Spike? Iron Will?
4091389 Post-duel Twilight? Discord?
4090122
It's surprisingly hard to get a look at that butte.
Dear Dwayne Johnson,
If it were physically possible; I'd have your babies.
Sincerely,
Maud Pie
Dear Pinkie Pie,
That's some obstacle course. Maybe you should hide orange flags in each section, and tell your friends that if they can get all seven of them in under sixty seconds, they'll win a trip to Haywaii.
Would need more slime though.
Your double-daring ruler,
Princess Celestia
4090122 Tank you for sharing this!
4091112 Maud must've been completly unbearable for Twilight if it got her to say that.
4090883
I sung the Maude song in the singer's voice.
4092632 If you think that's bad you haven't seen anything. The sequel is even worse, trust me, I know what I'm talking about. The prequel is probably the best of the original triology.
Omg, Maud is like the best pony to make a story about. I now have to add a chapter in my story just for her! Yay...
Dear Pinkie Pie:
You write a lot of puns.
Your sister, Maud.
Dear Maud Pie:
You should totally move to Ponyville. Twilight is going to love your company
Your totally-rocking Princess, Celestia.
Dear Pinkie Pie,
The rocks I discovered truly are "special" in every sense of the word
Your sister,
Maud Pie
Wow nearly a hundred chapters, congrats on you're ascension to god-hood, just one more step , FAX MACHINE WHERE THE HELL IS THAT PIG HEART
Aaaawww that was great! YAY for geology puns!
4096467 Not to mention, Germany didn't start "The Great War" in the first place. The Allied Nations outside of the U.S. however, only saw fit to punish their greatest rival for no reason. Thus creating the system that led to the rise of Adolf Hitler and World War II, oops!