Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Slice of Life

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Slice of Life

---

Dear Sister,

Were we not clear on the arrangements for alternating wedding gifts? I did Cadance and Shining Armor, and you were supposed to do this one. Get it together, Sunbutt.

Sincerely,
Luna

---

Dearest Sister,

Really? You handled the gift for their wedding? Would that be before or after you slept through a changeling invasion and then showed up for the reception?

Sincerely,
Celestia

P.S. And keep it up with the Sunbutt. No, seriously. I've been meaning to test my new catapult out on something. I wonder if I could launch your Haystation 4 all the way to Ponyville.

---

Dear Lyra and "Bon Bon",

Look, you may be able to fool some of Ponyville, but you can't fool me. Just friends? Yeah right. I've seen versions of you two that you don't even know about.

And let me tell you, they were two cheeks away from making out on a grand piano during a music competition.

Which, come to think of it, would have probably secured them the win.

But I digress. Save your breath and drop the charade.

Sincerely,
Princess Twilight

---

Dear Vinyl,

That was a wonderful performance we put on for Cranky and Matilda's wedding.

What do you say we go to our bedroom tonight and make some more music?

Sincerely,
Octavia

---

Dear PoniTunes,

Suck it.

Sincerely,
Derpy aka "Muffins"

---

Dear DHX Animation,

Thanks so much. If there's anyone who can make 22 minutes about kissing ass, it's you guys.

Sincerely,
Pinkie Pie

Author's Note:

And yes, I recently found out that it was iTunes, not angry soccer mom emails, that instigated Derpygate.

If there's anything worse than changing something after someone got offended, it's changing something BEFORE they got offended.

Comments

[ShadowLDrago]

And yes, I recently found out that it was iTunes, not angry soccer mom emails, that instigated Derpygate.

How sure are you? Because I want to know whether or not I have to bring out my chainsaw.

[Imperator Chiashi Zane]

6125251 Well, crApple does tend to preemptively follow hipsters (or attempted hipsters at least).

[ShadowLDrago]

6125258

Yes, but I'd rather not hit the wrong person with my chainsaw. Blood takes ages to wash off and I'd rather not do it any more than I have to.

[milesprower06]

6125251 It was confirmed 2 years ago by a DHX staffer. Surprisingly, this is not widely known information.

[ShadowLDrago]

6125275

Well then. *gets out chainsaw* If you'll excuse me, I have some, affairs to take care of.

[Sozmioi]

This episode is less canon to me than Daring Don't.

[JimboTex]

And let me tell you, they were two cheeks away from making out on a grand piano during a music competition.

*AHEM*
♫Lyra and Bon Bon
Sing a song song
Boy, they really get a long long♫

[meerkat8472]

Dear Lyra and "Bon Bon",

Look, you may be able to fool some of Ponyville, but you can't fool me. Just friends? Yeah right. I've seen versions of you two that you don't even know about.

And let me tell you, they were two cheeks away from making out on a grand piano during a music competition.

Which, come to think of it, would have probably secured them the win.

But I digress. Save your breath and drop the charade.

Sincerely,

Princess Twilight

I know right, I watched that whole scene thinking 'just kiss already!'

And yes, I recently found out that it was iTunes, not angry soccer mom emails, that instigated Derpygate.

Really? Well that figures. Did you notice though that she still has no name?
6125282 I'm not much into bloody dismemberment, but I'll gladly donate some fuel for your chainsaw.

[Aariadon]

And yes, I recently found out that it was iTunes, not angry soccer mom emails, that instigated Derpygate.

The rumor I heard is 4chan that was actually behind it, POSING as angry soccer moms. It was an anti-brony brigade.

I dunno if it was actually true or not, but I don't think it was a legitimate movement, anyway.

[ShadowLDrago]

6125366

Well thank you.

[Jman14102]

Dear M. A. Larson,

THANKS!

Sincerely,
The Bronies

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Time Turner,

Hey Sweetie. Will you stop hanging out with that Derpy friend of yours. I hear Trenderlore is a nice place this time of year.

Sincerely,
River Song

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Time Turner,

What's up Doc? Let's go bowling.

Sincerely,
Pinkie Pie

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Mayor Mare,

Breaking the Fourth Wall is my Job. Stick to writing documents.

Sincerely,
Pinkie Pie

[MixMassBasher]

Dear M. A. Larson,

What about us....

Sincerely,
Discord, Sunset Shimmer, Dinky, Braeburn, Flash Sentry, etc.

[Emptybee]

6125275 You have a source for that?

[BBkat]

6125366
Apparently it's now 'Muffins' :/

From a Q/A with M. A Larson-
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2015/06/ma-larson-reveals-all-sorts-of-fun.html

Q: What allowed Derpy this time around?

A: Her name is muffins officially. Even though Larson originally called her Derpy for the sake of labeling in the script, Hasbro had him switch the name even if it was never actually said in the episode.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

6125275 Huh, don't know why it is that I-Tunes was behind it all. I mean, they were the first ones to change Derpy's appearance, but I never would've believed they'd have the nerve to do so and then not even admit to it. That's about as low as you can get.

[Swashbucklist]

That was a wonderful performance we put on for Cranky and Matilda's wedding.

What do you say we go to our bedroom tonight and make some more music?

The award for the most generic letter goes to...

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

Dear Princesses,

What's this I hear about some "left my gift on the counter" BS? First of all, you're princesses, are you seriously telling me you can't afford to each bring a gift??? Y'know, you can't get away with that unless you're married, so unless I've just stumbled upon some prime blackmail material, I suggest you pony up. Second of all, YOU'RE PRINCESSES! I know I already said that, but this is a different angle now; why does my gift even fit on a counter? You're telling me that the richest ponies in Equestria can't afford something better than some blender or crockpot or some rinkydink crap? We live in a hut on the outskirts, for Your sake! How's about a sports cart or a mansion?

If I wasn't clear before, I'm implying that you two are fucking and that I'll spread this rumor if we don't get a better gift.

That last part was from Cranky, he thought my florid prose would go right over your heads.

-Matilda

[Imperator Chiashi Zane]

6125282

[Soufriere]

6125646 Chances that any fan (myself included) actually acknowledges that? Zero.

6125627 An earlier draft of the script actually did have Flash in it… asking Cranky why everyone hated him.

Dear Fans,
Ship sunk, bitches.
--M.A. Larson

Dear Larson,
Keep telling yourself that.
--Fans

For what it's worth, I could swear that Amy Keating Rogers (writer of TLR) confirmed that Hasbro really did get complaints from soccer moms and/or Tumblrinas – she herself got about a dozen complaints mixed in with over a hundred letters of praise – and Hasbro (probably Vogel) asked her for her opinion on censoring the scene… she reluctantly agreed, although I believe iTunes had already pulled the episode before this. …And it's been over three years since that little incident. I feel old.

Whatever. At least Derpy finally got a voice I enjoy listening to.

[Dodo Of Chaos]

.,.

[Reddened Chaos]

Wait, what did iTunes do this time?

[Smitty91]

Dear Lyra and "Bon Bon",

Look, you may be able to fool some of Ponyville, but you can't fool me. Just friends? Yeah right. I've seen versions of you two that you don't even know about.

And let me tell you, they were two cheeks away from making out on a grand piano during a music competition.

Which, come to think of it, would have probably secured them the win.

But I digress. Save your breath and drop the charade.

Sincerely,

Princess Twilight

I agree, especially considering "how well they know each other." Yeah, that's not suggestive at all.

[articunos bitch]

Get it together, Sunbutt.

The message I am getting from the series but Celestia does not.

Would that be before or after you slept through a changeling invasion and then showed up for the reception?

When she showed up for the reception, which is the only time her invitation allowed her to.

And let me tell you, they were two cheeks away from making out on a grand piano during a music competition.

They were deuting the Full Metal Alchemist cover of 'Do you wanna build a Human?' Nothing remotely romantic there.

That was a wonderful performance we put on for Cranky and Matilda's wedding.
What do you say we go to our bedroom tonight and make some more music?

Free double bass lessons! Whoo!

Author's Note:

Fun gif.

[Dapper Guy]

Hold on, since when does I-Tunes get a say about the shows that they sell through their apps and such? How does that many any sense? They're not the creators, just another source for distribution.

[Hclegend]

If there's anything worse than changing something after someone got offended, it's changing something BEFORE they got offended.

Bad memories of the Ocarina of Time Fire Temple music are surfacing...

[ferret]

>kissing
>ass

[Neko Majin C]

To my dearest Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle:

I am so very sorry that I was not able to choke the Bug-Bear from the inside when you chucked me down his throat. His esophagus was a lot more powerful than I was. I would like to thank you for casting that protection spell on me, even though the Bug-Bear's stomach acid burned like the fiery pits of Tartarus, it did not dissolve me. I apologize that it took me an entire week to pass through the Bug-Bear's digestive track, but I hope you will be happy to know that I put up one hell of a fight throughout his intestines. I vomited almost constantly which probably caused him at least some discomfort. Furthermore, I am mostly sorry for using one of the showers in the castle to wash the week's worth of vomit and Bug-Bear mess off of me. I know it is no excuse for coming into the castle without permission, but you and Fax Machine had gone to Canterlot and the garden hose was just not cutting it. There was no soap outside and the shower's hot water felt so wonderful on my aching muscles and joints. In the future, I vow to be more useful cannon fodder. I promise to not fail you the next time you throw me to my possible doom.

Signed your loyal slave who, thanks to your benevolence, no longer reeks of vomit and Bug-Bear dung,
Neko Majin C.

---

---

---

~KBO.

[Scarheart]

6125298 Good thing we don't accept your canon.

[Eclipse LunarSol]

Who's been kissing donkeys?

[VampDash]

Were we not clear on the arrangements for alternating wedding gifts? I did Cadance and Shining Armor, and you were supposed to do this one. Get it together, Sunbutt.

Missed opportunity.

Were we not clear on the arrangements for alternating wedding gifts? I did Cadance and Shining Armor, and you were supposed to do this one. As the young fillies and foals of today say..... git gud, Sunbutt.

[The Devious Writer]

6126747 They can choose not to sell the episode. It's their store, they have final say on what goes through it.

[Alex Warlorn]

I don't think Scratch and Octavia are a couple.
Lyra and Bon Bon are together BECAUSE of how they're different. Scratch and Octavia are friends IN SPITE OF how they're different.

[Banana Prince]

6150167 Ohhhhh.... Now I get it.

[justheretoreadstories]

Fuck iTunes, and fuck anything apple computer related.