Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Rollercoaster of Friendship (Mixed, Massed, and Bashed)

Dear Rainbow,

I need your help looking after my granny and her pals before you go on that fancy smancy rollercoaster.

Your Best Friend,
Applejack

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Dear Rainbow,

Dear Celestia, Don't!

Your Awesome Pony Self,
Rainbow Dash

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Dear Princess Twilight,

It's been a while. There have been no Equestrian Magic surges since summer break started that we were even taking summertime jobs. I worked at this Sushi Shack and I'm proud of it. Baka!

While on break, I came across AJ and Rarity having a staring contest with their phones. Apparently they were applying for new jobs at Equestria Land; a theme park that is somehow not owned by Disney yet, and are awaiting their replies. Strangely enough, their staring strategy worked. The replies each of them received were quite fitting. The dumb diva gets the spotlight job while the background character gets trash ads. AJ probably shoudn't have quit working at the smoothie shack before getting a reply. Poor planning really and also a shame to be honest! She really knew how to shake things up when working there.

Later on, Rarity gave all of us VIP passes to Equestria Land which was sweet! It'll be fun as long as there isn't another masked villain ruining everything. I'm looking at you, Juniper Montage! I'm personally looking forward to a perfect day of fun as I plan on doing a photo booth sessions with all the girls since they left me out on the last one. Then Pinkie expositioned to us on this Gen Z degenerate; Vignette Valencia. Yeah, they name their generations here by letters instead of numbers. How weird is that!?! Anyway, AJ didn't quite get any of the technobabble social media crap so it didn't help at all when Rarity revealed she was besties with Vignette. AJ didn't approve of this "ship" which was probably why she followed Rarity.

Meanwhile, Twilight and I were trying and failing to do a mother fucking ring toss! And AJ just had to interrupt us talking about how Fluttershy went missing. Does she not understand that this takes priority over that!! By Celestia!! I'm definately contacting Snips and Snails after this to precure all the plushies from the Flim Flam bros later. After that, AJ came barging in reporting an emergency meeting that Vignette was sus after seeing Rainbow get offed on cams but I wasn't buying it so we voted AJ off. Big mistake as we were soon warped into cyberspace. Well, so much for no Equestrian Magic here.

Days without Equestrian Magic fucking up our lives:

0

And seriously, of all the people Equestrian Magic choosed to infect, it decided on a tacky tiktok trender!?! We pretty much went from a girl who gets no attention that was corrupted by magic; Wall— something something, to a girl that gets all the attention and was corrupted by magic. We basically went from a diet-tier Applejack to a diet-tier Rainbow Dash! I demand a refund! This bitch even stole Juniper's mirror dimension trap too? So much for being a trendsetter! I'm definitely disliking and unsubscribing from her after this!

Rarity soon found out what happened afterwards and pretty much swiped left Vignette, reunite with AJ and nearly reignited their "ship" until Twilight techobable her way into calling them. We soon found out that we were trapped in a white room this whole damn time instead of cyberspace. Perhaps the fact that there were no floating kuramons anywhere should've been our first clue...

And so with all our powers combined, we put a stop to the latest equestrian magic mishap by cracking the phone screen. Anticlimactic, I know. So we ended the day singing our latest hit single Photo Booth which is pretty much both a Rarijack song and an apology to me for being left out last time in a Perfect Day for Fun.

Overall, the lesson here I learnt today was don't rely on social media to make friends, there’s definitely no scenario where this is untrue. Well, unless a lockdown occurs but in what situation would that happen! And as if I'll ever fall for all that social media crap! I once lived in a land where technology is almost non-existent!

Your non-technology reliant friend,
Sunset Shimmer

#EquestrianMagicSucks #EquestriaGirlsForever #SunsetShimmerBestPonyGirl

P.S. The next time you visit you should check out the All Spark Studios! I hear that they are shooting scenes for a movie coming out this year!

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To Applejack,

You seem to have a knack for spotting security breaches. If you are interested in a new job. We are hiring at the new Mega Pizzaplex!

Signed,
Frezbear Entertainment, Inc

Author's Note:

Comments

[justheretoreadstories]

Good to see another Equestria Girls special get covered.

[Georg]

Cave Johnson approved!

[SuperPinkBrony12]

After that, AJ came barging in reporting an emergency meeting that Vignette was sus after seeing Rainbow get offed on cams but I wasn't buying it so we voted AJ off.

AJ was not the impostor, one impostor remains.

[Smashbrosarrmagedon]

P.S. The next time you visit you should check out the All Spark Studios! I hear that they are shooting scenes for a movie coming out this year!

Dear Sunset Shimmer

The Hasbro company want to talk with you and the human version of the main cast as part of the incoming season 3

The board of directors of Hasbro and All Spark Studios

[Streakofscarlet]

After that, AJ came barging in reporting an emergency meeting that Vignette was sus after seeing Rainbow get offed on cams but I wasn't buying it so we voted AJ off.

It's funny 'cause i'm literally watching gameplay of the game right now

[Spiritus Arcane]

Days without Equestrian Magic fucking up our lives:

0

This sounds like a sign that should be posted on a bulletin board at CHS.

[FanOfMostEverything]

10860664
"Luna, you wrote this in permanent marker."
"Tia, if we can actually increment that number, I will happily buy a new whiteboard."

[euphgeek]

10862226
You're right, I wasn't serious. It's called sarcasm. I was calling out the other poster because they were saying how easy it would be for criminals to get an illegal firearm because of the black market.

[blazikenking]

10860935 MY SIDES! THEY'RE IN ORBIT!

[Neko Majin C]

AJ probably shoudn't have quit working at the smoothie shack before getting a reply.

"Shouldn't."

And seriously, of all the people Equestrian Magic choosed to infect, it decided on a tacky tiktok trender!?!

"Chose."

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Dear Spaceship Stargazer Sushi Shop Server Sunset Shimmer Sunbutt Lesser? That is the one! That is your name! I always have a hard time remembering it. Dear Sunbutt Lesser,

My Mistress Headmistress Empress Dictator Princess Twilight Sparkle asked me to inform you that she is too busy to read your letter herself. She does plan on getting around to it, but it may take her several days. She is very busy with her current mission of becoming the sole Empress Dictator Queen of the entire world. Once she can pull herself away from that, and furiously masturbating, she will give your letter the attention it deserves.

Signed Mistress Headmistress Empress Dictator Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and Editorial Department,
Neko Majin C.

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~KBO