Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Twilight Time

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Twilight Time

THE FOAL FREE PRESS
LIBRARY CONTROVERSY!

Ponyville received another helping of controversy this week when Twilight, furious with the invasion of schoolhouse students into Golden Oaks Library, passed a bill titled the "Magical Freedom Act", effectively barring pegasi and earth ponies from the library.

"It's quite sad, really," offered local farmer Applejack. "These fillies were actually wanting to spend time with the Princess. Clearly, they're too young and naive to realize what a cuntnugget she really is."

"The library contains books, which can only be used effectively by those with the appropriate intellect. Pegasi are lightweight, so the mass of their minds cannot possibly be high enough, and earth ponies have always been more brawn than brains." Princess Twilight Sparkle claimed in defense of the bill.

Those who believe the bill legally enables discrimination have not sat quietly. The manager of the local Hay King has responded by putting up a sign that says "NO PRINCESSES ALLOWED", while Rainbow Dash has convinced the Cloudsdale government to pass the Aerial Freedom Act, barring all unicorns and earth ponies from the city of clouds, obviously unaware that those races were only there for last year's Best Young Flier competition, and that the bill is absolutely useless.

Other Ponyville activists have petitioned Mayor Mare to veto the Magical Freedom Act, as well as continuing to ask Princess Celestia to limit the powers Princess Twilight has within the town.

---

To the Hay King General Manager,

Do you like bananas?

Sincerely,
Princess Celestia of Equestria

---

Hello and welcome to Hay King!

NO PRINCESSES PURPLE ALICORNS ALLOWED!

Comments

[AdmiralPopeyesBeard]

Well, this chapter wasn't very funny compared to the others, besides the last two bits.

[Tatsurou]

And then Discord pranks Celestia by dyeing her purple.

[Princess Cadence]

Hello and welcome to Hay King!

[youtube=6ZZh7bOvBlI]

[Anyne]

To the Hay King General Manager,
Do you like bananas?
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia of Equestria

Not funny

[TolianTiger]

No Purple Alicorns eh?

Come nighttime, that manager is going to have terrible, terrible nightmares.

[Phazon]

Magical Freedom Act... does this mean that Twilight can't force the others to have sex with her at the library anymore? Or perhaps we've reached the point in the season when Twilight's grown tired of them.

Aerial Freedom Act, barring all unicorns and earth ponies from the city of clouds

No mention of princesses or purple alicorns. How is this a retaliation against Twilight again? And why is Rainbow Dash retaliating against being banned from Twilight's library? Did she actually want to be in there?

[milesprower06]

4000131 It's been awhile since there's been a dud. They're bound to happen.

[Lag Incarnate]

4000170
She just wants a consistent crash-pad.

[AdmiralPopeyesBeard]

4000193

Eeyup.

I'm not complainin' mind you, jus' trying to help in anyway I can. But, since I have zero experience in writin', I can't help very much.

So, sayin' this chapter was lacking compared to your usual perty funny material, is all I can give, really. Sorry.

Down with Celestia and up with Luna!

[DragonLady]

Not even one joke about how Twilight Time could have meant something else?

[Phazon]

4000212
Crash-pad? Are we being literal here? Because if so, then I don't see how an act of law would stop her. And if not, then she's got virtually every cloud and tree branch to use instead.

Frankly, this chapter was pretty underwhelming. I mean, I suppose the Foal Free Press thing was an interesting route for the episode (as opposed to the usual Letters format, which I imagine would've included bringing up just how baffling it is that all of Ponyville's schoolfoals actually adored their cuntnugget of a Princess, as well as Twilight regretting letting the Cutie Mark Crusaders into her library after they messed with her diary). But this chapter didn't really offer much, and the Aerial Freedom Act bit falls flat on its face if you think about it for more than a second, unless you're truly devoted to the 'pegasi are dumbasses' punchline.

[Lag Incarnate]

4000276
Consistent, you can break branches and clouds, but that library ain't moving without some serious help. And if you landed somewhere, you wouldn't want the owners immediately calling the cops right?

[Phazon]

4000279
No, you'd much rather piss off the bitchy alicorn princess who once threatened to moon you instead.

[meerkat8472]

I, do not understand the banana joke. Anyway Celestia really needs to stop allowing Twilight to make laws.

[FicusCat]

4000292

Now you understand the banana joke

[meerkat8472]

4000305 ...Yes ...Yes, I do believe I get it now... Wow.

[Multithread]

Short, but pretty funny.

Especially the last line

[MythrilMoth]

Weak and disappointing.

Seriously, I was expecting a chapter about Twilight's terrible table manners or something actually, you know, FUNNY. This is just pitiful.

[Sergiovan]

4000143 It IS funny. You just need to watch THIS:

[ThePhantomAssassin]

4000131 Well, he really didn't have a whole lot to work with.... I bet this was the best he could come up with with so little given to him. Can't make a mountain out of a mole hill's worth of dirt....

[thereareonly2genders]

Lol nice spin on whats going on in Arizona. very clever

[silvadel]

4000170

The new Daring Do book is on 3 week reserve in Cloudsdale and she was counting on getting it from the Ponyville Library. Of course she is upset.

[MrNumbers]

You missed a masturbation joke, a pedophilia joke and a fax machine joke. Wasted like so many nachos.

Who are you and what have you done with Miles?

[James Rye]

4000803

Yeah, this chapter was quite a lackluster given what this episode had to offer for jokes. <.<

[SuperPinkBrony12]

4000800 Knowing Rainbow Dash she'll probably sneak into the library under cover of darkness in a black stealth suit to steal it. Oh wait, she already tried that at the hospital, and that didn't end so well.

[silvadel]

4000878

Petty Larceny is dealt with harshly in Ponyville.

[Phazon]

4000878>>4000800
Didn't the new Daring Do book come out a few episodes ago? Rainbow Dash even got an advanced copy of it. Unless there's a newer one, in which case Daring Do writes really fucking fast.

[silvadel]

4001023

Rowling writes at the speed of plot. Unless there was a very long pause between episodes, the main issue for her is the adventure itself. Writing the book based off it goes really quick.

Twilight Time had enough of a timeskip in it that Sweetie Belle went from having issues levitating a broom to being able to do the kind of positions Twi did with the animals last season.

Yes it might be a bit soon for a new DD book, but having a book that RD really wants to read would be just the kind of thing to drive her to her actions in the chapter.

[OddDreams]

cue mental image of Celestia showing up at Hay King in a banana suit...

[Phazon]

4001044
But when they went out to help Daring Do, the new book was already being delayed by another two months (off of its expected release date of three months and twenty-six days from then). So it makes sense that the end of Daring Don't already has a significant time skip to it (assuming you overlook the implication that it took Rainbow Dash five and a half months to write her diary entry for the episode, but by your reasoning it also took the Cutie Mark Crusaders a whole time skip to get in their diary entry too.

[silvadel]

4001194

I look at it as time catching up to itself. I mean we recently had a Sun Celebration where a lot of people think only a single year has happened since the first episode. This kind of agrees with the freezing of the CMC but not with some of the advancements of say Rainbow Dash from season 1 to season 3. If they want the CMC to get their cutie marks and/or spice things up a little bit, then adding a few months here and there would be in order.

[Kage no Brony]

4001142

Whaat? Noo... I'm not a Princess... I'm a giant magical talking banana... And I'll have a tofu burger, a large hay fry, and a root beer.

[OddDreams]

4001392 Celestia's Banana Song was more what I pictured, but yeah

[Inferno demon Dash]

Oh Twilight, when will you learn?

[Anyne]

4000708

[Sergiovan]

4001689 Banana poisoning? Bananas are too pure to poison! HERETIC!
(Unless you're allergic. In that case, I'm sorry)

[Anyne]

4001695

[Sergiovan]

4001703 T_T

[keaton-furman-prower]

This one is... interesting.

It's going to take me a while to craft an appropriate response

[keaton-furman-prower]

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

Do you remember that time I stole your horn, turning you into an earth pony? Wasn't that the most hilarious thing ever?

Well, if I did the same thing today, you wouldn't be a useless earth pony, right? You'd be a pegasus! Doesn't that sound fun?

By the way, Cloudsdale is looking nice this time of year. You might want to consider moving there. Especially now that you won't be able to live in your library!

Your ever-chaotic best buddy, Discord.

P.S.: I think I can find a way to get you back into Hay King! You do want to go back, right?

[SomeponyTheVectorer]

"Clearly, they're too young and naive to realize what a cuntnugget she really is."

God damn it. You just got me yelled at for laughing out loud in a quiet carriage on the train.

Worth it though.

[SafariJohn]

4001257
It was explicitly stated in the show that it has been a year.

[Red Bomber]

4000238
To be honest I was surprised about this as well considering how sexual this Twilight is this universe. I thought today's diary entry will be about Twilight complaining that she has FINALLY gotten some recognition from being a princess but is only getting the attention from kids and wonders why they are the only ones going out of the way to see her and not other age appropriate ponies or even visiting ponies coming to see her.

[Pwniez]

lol, way to escape moon time.

[Larger Seagull]

4002994 In regards to that, I take the selective memory route and pretend I don't recall hearing that. As far as I know, there's a two year difference

[Phazon]

4003750>>4002994
I don't even recall hearing that part. I even skimmed the transcripts of Magical Mystery Cure and both parts of Princess Twilight Sparkle on the wiki, and I still didn't find it. What episode was that stated in?

[Maelstrom]

4003750
Agreed, as there was the Botched Summer Sun in S1 E1, the second summer sun the following year, the the Canterlot summer sun where Twilight did the Twiboom.

That indicates at least two years have passed since the first episode

[SafariJohn]

4003889>>4003889 I'm a little busy at the moment, so I'll have to look for the exact spot later, but in the meantime, Celestia's speech at the end of Princess Twilight Pt. 2 heavily implies it's the first Summer Sun celebration since NMM.

[Dio]

It's okay Miles. I found it funny. (Then again I'm notoriously easy to please so what do I know? *shurg*)