Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Bridle Gossip

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Bridle Gossip

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I tried teaching my other friends that being different isn't necessarily wrong, but the different beings have to try their best to blend in, and as long as they don't draw unnecessary attention to themselves, the master races and lowly peasants can get along fine.

Fax Machine and I started the day walking into the market square, to find it completely deserted. Before I can figure out what's going on, Pinkie drags us both into a dark Sugarcube Corner, along with the rest of our friends. Our stupid, stupid friends. All hiding from a hooded figure out in the middle of the market. Seems their parents never told them that there are other species out there that we are inherently better than. I explained to them what a zebra is, and then Rarity kept fainting, and Pinkie sang a song that she must have come up with during one of her highs. But I must admit, it sounded a lot better than her other songs.

Applebloom decided to get a head start on chasing the unwanted creature out of town, and we went after her to make sure she wasn't kidnapped and raised the wrong way by her. Apparently, she goes by the name of Zecora, and once we chased her back into the Everfree Forest, we were satisfied. She should understand that this is Ponyville, not Ponyzebraville.

The next morning, I awoke to quite the shock; my horn had erectile dysfunction. One by one, my friends showed up, and showed us just what Zecora had done to us in the forest. In an apparent attempt to bring her culture into Ponyville, she brainwashed Rarity into styling her mane into dreadlocks. Applejack can now fulfill her micro fantasies. Strangely enough, Rainbow is flying better than ever, Pinkie's drug abuse has finally hindered her speech, and she must have injected Fluttershy with one hell of a hit of testosterone, because damn, that manly voice. Even I want to sleep with her now.

We immediately decided to go teach that meddling zebra a lesson. We formed a lynch mob and set off into the forest. Applebloom, ever the overachiever, went on ahead. After we momentarily became separated, Applejack roleplayed a micro session with Rainbow while Pinkie began beatboxing with Fluttershy rapping about a fuck shit stack or something. After crashing into Zecora's hut, we reached a compromise; she would create the remedy for the curse she put on us, and in return, we wouldn't lynch her.

She also claimed she wasn't a zegro, but an African Equestrian.

Whatever.

Your racist former student,
Twilight Sparkle

Comments

[darthrex]

ah haa hah ha!

[Agrith]

I knew you were gonna pull some racist things with Zecora, just maybe not a lynch mob.

[thewookie1]

Your hungry,non-druggie,fucking awesome,skeptical, sleep-deprived, sexually frustrated,racist former student,
Twilight Sparkle

Hell she's busy

[Broderick]

Oh of course there had to be a reference to the "fuck shit stack" video But nyeeees. Hilarious as always.

[infinite scratch]

Fluttershy did have one sexy voice buts its true please don't cry

[Teashakes]

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

[Sandman]

4.bp.blogspot.com/_4J2eNIt3OkE/R9njWvQKJzI/AAAAAAAAAE0/XXVFI-hxwfM/s200/UR.jpg
This chapter is Uncle Ruckus approved.

[RedvsBlue327]

Ha, Spikes new name. Jeez, whatever made Twilight such a bitch is a mystery I'm gonna have fun deducing to help kill the next 15 minutes.

[Natzo]

I love the referenced video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NglaU_dZzDI

[milesprower06]

771751 Twilightlicious is one thing. This is completely different, lol.

[DbzOrDie]

Lol, Even I want to sleep with her now

Laughs were had, thumbs were given, all was good

[Blue Thrush]

It's 'Apple Bloom' not 'Applebloom'!

[oblivion2k]

lol Zegro, oh wow.
Most authors here won't touch that with a ten-foot pole. You have balls of steel my friend

[Twifight Sparkill]

771787

Fax Machine! Hahaha! Oh, poor Spike.

"Pinkie began beatboxing with Fluttershy rapping about a fuck shit stack or something." - I loved that video!

Ah, another job well done. Bravo!

[heste]

Love the racist jokes

That filly is so cruel

[Lickity_Split]

YES!!! The Video reference!!!

[Majk]

"Zegro"....
This keeps getting better and better, TwiTroll is the best

[Kavonde]

772222
See, that never made any sense to me. Her sister is Applejack, one word. So why should Apple Bloom be two words?

It's like "Cadance" vs. "Cadence." You pronounce it "Cadence." Her full name is Mi Amore Cadenza, with an "e." Where the hell does that "a" come from? And why did anyone think it was a good idea? Whenever I see it, I think "Cay-Dance," and then I have to stop and go, "wait, no, Cay-Dense."

And while we're at it, Bon Bon's name just looks like it should have a dash, dammit!

/shakehoof

[banjo2E]

I like how they tried to encourage the "Zegro" to leave by rapping at her.

[Moon Shadow]

Zegro? African Equestrian?
ALL OF THE LOLS!

[SgtFrog]

I just have one question:

Do racists consider themselves racists? Because many actual racists truly believe that their prejudice against certain people is completely justified, and the word "racist" implies that their views aren't justified because they're just stereotyping.

[La Vallett1]

Imagine what will happen if the nicer Twilight meets this bitchy counterpart.

[tomw20]

Fuck Shit Stack PMV reference.

ALL OF MY LOVE FOR YOU SIR/MADAM.

[KillerSteel]

Amazing.

[Clef Prelude]

This story has been in my "read later" box for the longest time and I'm kicking myself for not having given it a chance sooner. This is pure comedic gold. I love the spin you put on the episodes, and this completely disgruntled twilight is excellent. You perfectly portray someone who is absolutely fed up with everything, but continues to go along for the ride because there's really not much else that can be done. Take all the stars and thumbs I can give.

[bboss29]

Fuck Shit Stack reference was funny, but i completely lost my shit at "Zegro"

[TheTranslator]

I've never laughed more to a story on this site, great job.

[Iplemons]

this is the greatest thing ever

[Biker_Dash]

Yeah... my phone is being a fuckin sack of shit right now... guess I will finish this later because if I have to deal with this cunted piece of shit too much longer, I'm likely to throw it at something expensive like a Nolan Fuckin Ryan fastball...

Sorry for the rant, just friggin tired of missing out on video replies, NOT being able to find a needed image for a reply, having the browser fuckin CRASH on me when I am trying to friggin read something good...

[Madeline L-Equine]

I love disgruntled Twilight, and I'm actually surprised how safely you ended up playing the racism in this chapter. Sure it's bad, but it could have been so much worse. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of these.

[Guiding_Passion]

Wow could Evil Twilight get any worse?

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Well talk about easily forgiven, and of course Twilight completly ignored the fact that the problems were the result of posion joke. Let's hope Pinkie Pie never decides to experiment with them.

[keaton-furman-prower]

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

Thank you for preventing any of the lesser species from invading. If this "Zecora" would not have been chased back into the forest, I would probably have had to burn Ponyville down.

Your faithful (and totally non-racist ) ruler, Princess Celestia.

[Arckand]

Twilight's description of the others' ailments was just lovely. Bwahaha.

[Dementia Ravenmane]

770631 Of course, it is time consuming to be everything.

[ChilliConCharlie]

"After crashing into Zecora's hut, we reached a compromise; she would create the remedy for the curse she put on us, and in return, we wouldn't lynch her.
She also claimed she wasn't a zegro, but an African Equestrian.
Whatever.
Your racist former student,
Twilight Sparkle"

This. Is. Fucking. Gold.

[Rest]

Zigga please.

[PegasisterFireboom]

1328451

I thought I was the only one who caught that.... thank god.

[TheAspiringWriter93]

And so it came to pass that someone made a reference to the video that got me started on MLP in the first place: Fluttershy singing "Fuck-Shit Stack" with Pinkie Pie.

Confounded Reggie Watts, you drove me to Bronydom.

[phlamingsoul]

The next morning, I awoke to quite the shock; my horn had erectile dysfunction.

[Level Dasher]

1328451
I CANNOT believe I haven't seen that video until now. Thank you.

[LokiBooty]

She also claimed she wasn't a zegro, but an African Equestrian

[anthonygoforth]

oh now i know where fuck shit stacked came from

[dafiltafish]

Dear god that was funny.

[Skeeter The Lurker]

Oh Twilight.

Never change your racist ways.

~Skeeter The Lurker

[forevertheDoctor]

Lol yes! A fuck shit stack oh my god I died. Also, lol u mad zigger?

[fillyDarkBloom]

Aw, she's accepted that she's stuck with them as friends. So cute. :) And I can sort of see Twilight having a tumblr and just blogging about the stupid ponies around her.

[Wolfboy183]

damn them zegroes.
And Applejack said this to Applebloom one night at bed time. "Hey A'Bloom. Everfree Forest was once a lush apple orchard, till a bunch of them dirty zegroes showed up and we lynched them all, then Celestia, our devine Solar Mother, praise be to her, cursed the whole lot and now it's Everfree. Now go the buck to sleep or Ah'll hoofbeat ya, ya little brat!"

[Inferno demon Dash]

I started to laugh so hard I cried, gods damn did I laugh

[Eclipse LunarSol]

Your racist former student,
Twilight Sparkle