Additonal content provided by MixMassBasher.
Dear soon to no longer be Princesses Celestia and Luna,
So, our resident Pokémare Trainer decided to replace the fruit bats that we exterminated due to reasons with a gigantamax tortrera to dick with the apple farm instead.
Initially, I only went there to laugh my ass off at Applejack’s hard work being ruined, but that changed when it tried to use Crunch on Vacuum Cleaner. Cleaning appliances don’t come cheap, you know? So, my gang started a Pokémare Go raid battle, but Pinkie didn’t get the memo and threw apples at it like it was Pokémare Snap.
Then, you two sisters decided to play with us, too. Our resident egomaniac was right to say that of all the shitty troubles we’ve faced, you decide that one beast rampaging a farm warrants the Royal Sisters’ Might? Where were you two during the ursa minor and bugbear attacks, then!?! What? Were the last two not what you needed to complete your Ponydex? Douches.
Now, can you two old hags get off my property!
Your soon to be dominant ruler of all of Equestria,Dictator Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princesses Celestia and Luna,
Why do we need some dumb celebration for the swans in your castle?
Signed,
Rainbow Dash
Dear Rainbow Dash,
They were mad that the geese got to help out in the Canterlot security system, but they didn’t. And you do not want angry swans shitting on the castle.
Signed,
Princess Luna
Dear Diary,
I'm pretty sure I just figured out how the Wild Blue Yonder closed down. Even though it was completely safe and the line went out the door.
Celestia probably forced Luna to go on that one too.
-Rainbow Dash
Dear Sister,
Before our retirement finally occurs, let us two best sisters play video games, instead. ‘Tis been a while since we’ve done that, anyway.
Signed,
Princess Luna
Dear Princesses Celestia and Luna,
You couldn't tolerate each other's presence until I switched your cutie marks many moons ago. In what way did you think that spending time together wouldn't result in disaster once more?
Just do your own personal lists, and not each other’s, and be done with this unnecessary plot.
Sincerely,
Starlight Glimmer
Dear Princess Luna,
So, did you really get sunburned in all those areas, or were you just having a good time with Daybreaker?
Sincerely,
Twilight Sparkle
There's a lotta little things you gotta do in this world.
But there's a lotta them you can kiss goodbye.
’Cause the coronavirus plunges the world to outbreaks,
So have lotta little lockdowns tonight.