• Published 7th Feb 2014
  • 28,397 Views, 1,751 Comments

Pinkie Personalities - Drebom

Pinkie Pie isn't alone in her head- she has multiple personalities. The three of them have kept this fact secret for a very long time. Now, however, Twilight's overheard them arguing....

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Truth Or Dare

Pinkie Pie bounced cheerfully around her latest creation, readying it for transport. Twilight was coming over to Sugarcube Corner later in order to to pick up the cake for Fluttershy's pet bunny's birthday, which was in a few days time. Fluttershy would, of course, have picked up the order herself, but apparently there was a flu going round the local bird flocks, turning her cottage into the avian equivalent of an understaffed GP surgery at peak hours. Not somewhere you could reliably put a 1.5 meter tall cake and be sure it wouldn't get ruined. Because of this, a very apologetic Fluttershy had requested that Twilight take care of the cake for her. Rarity would have taken it in gladly, but she was hesitant due to the large capacity for mess, and a bit worried about what the frosting may do to her dresses. Applejack had offered, but then realised the temptation may be too much for her younger sister and her friends. Rainbow had also offered to take the cake, but had awkwardly retracted her offer after staring slack-jawed at the cake with longing eyes and a rumbling stomach for half a minute. The cake was taking up an awkward amount of room at the bakery, and so Fluttershy had turned to Twilight, who was happy to help.

It was a huge cake, on par with the MMM, and to Angel it would seem like a mountain of pure deliciousness; it was stuffed full of fresh carrots, topped with cream and cherries, and had been sized so that the entirety of Fluttershy's menagerie, as well as her closest friends, would be able to have a slice. The ingredients had been a little hard to handle, as it was soon realised that certain animals in Fluttershy's care would have adverse reactions to some of the regular ingredients in a cake. However, Pinkie had been able to work around these difficulties, overcoming them in order to create a delicious, amazing confectionery delight, whose only health warning was that it contained nuts.

"I really hope Angel likes this" Pinkie announced in the otherwise empty room "I know that he can be reeeaaallly fussy sometimes!"

Mr Cake was manning the till, and Mrs Cake was attending the ovens in the room next door. No customers were allowed in the storage area unless picking up special orders, and Twilight was the only one who fit that category. And as Twilight was expected in a few hours time, Pinkie was the only pony in the room, a state of affairs that would probably last for some time. Therefore, the fact that somepony then answered Pinkie could come as a bit of a-

"Surprise!" Came the giggly voice. Pinkie jumped slightly, quite a feat since she was already mid bounce, but soon recovered and smiled warmly.

"Hiya Surprise! What do you think of Angel's cake? It took really long to make you know! Think he'll like it?"

"I'm sure! And course I know! I suggested the secret cherries in the middle, remember?"

Pinkie paused, thinking for a moment. "Oh yeah! And Pinkamena came up with those special seed-balls for the birds, right? You know, the ones on top?"

"I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything about dunking them in... what is that, treacle? Can birds even eat treacle?"

"I dunno!"

"Seriously!?" Pinkie could almost feel Pinkamena face-hoofing.

"Hey, don't worry! I made sure that there are plenty of those balls with just lard in... although why birds would want to eat lard I don't know. I mean it's just really fatty stuff isn't it? And isn't a lotta fat kinda bad for you? So isn't it not a good idea to put out a lot of lardy seed-balls? But on the other hand I've seen Fluttershy make them, and I know she wouldn't do anything to-"

"Pinkie, you're rambling. Stop it. What if somebody came in?" Pinkie scratched the back of her head in embarrassment.

"Hehe. Sorry! Oh, but you don't need to worry about anyone coming in for at LEAST a few hours. The shop's fully stocked, and Twilight won't be coming over to pick up this beauty -" She gestured proudly to the huge cake on the wooden table. "- for at least an hour and a half!"

The cake was ready to be boxed by now. The white packaging was lying in its net form, flat on the worktop, with the cake perfectly positioned in the centre. As she deftly folded up the sides with the ease of years-worth of practise, Pinkie lapsed into near-silence as she focussed on the task at hand, taking care not to knock the cake. Humming happily, she slotted the lid on top and tied on a nice big red ribbon going length-ways around the box, ending with a bow on top. As she stood back and the three of them admired their handiwork, Surprise spoke up again.

"Hey, wanna play a game? You said Twilight isn't gonna be over till later, so..."

"Ooohh! Good idea, Surprise! What do you think, Pinkamena?"

Pinkamena thought about it for a moment. She wasn't a big fan of games, in all honesty, but on the other hand Pinkie and Surprise were. And she knew that whatever it was Surprise had planned, it would probably be better with three ponies. Not to mention the fact that it would make Pinkie happy, whereas a refusal may have a negative effect on the mood.

"Sure, why not. I got nothing better to do."

Princess Twilight of Equestria was not a happy pony. She was meant to be picking up that cake for Fluttershy from Sugarcube Corner, but she couldn't find that item on her daily check-list. Her schedule was wrong! And if her schedule was wrong, then she might forget to do the things that were missing off the schedule- because if one thing was missing, why not others? And that meant she might end up not doing things that others were relying on her doing! But she couldn't remember anything else that she had to do today that wasn't on the list, so maybe she didn't need to do anything, but then again what if she'd already forgot!?!?!

Spike watched exasperated as Twilight worked herself into a frenzy. He waited until she took a breath, and then broke into her panicked monologue.


Her train of thought interrupted, Twilight froze at Spike's yell, before realising that A: She'd been talking out loud and B: She was in the middle of a mild panic attack. Eventually, she regained the use of her tongue and apologised.

"Oh...er...sorry Spike" she said awkwardly, rather embarrassed.

"Have you calmed down now?" replied Spike, concerned. Twilight took a couple of long, deep breaths before nodding an affirmative.

"Good." Spike sighed in relief, and held up a small roll of parchment. "You'll need this."

Twilight lifted the scroll across the room to her via telekinesis, her familiar purple magic enveloping it. "What's this?" she asked, unrolling it.

"Today's check-list."

Twilight's brain took a few moments to register Spike's deadpan response. Her head snapped up, eyes wide.

"What?" she gasped, "B-but..." Her eyes darted across to her desk, where the check-list she had believed to correspond to that day's chores and events laid. It was, Spike noticed, slightly crumpled from Twilight's earlier agitation as she roughly handled the page, scanning the words again and again."I thought..."

Spike sighed. "Twilight, that's TOMMOROW'S check-list. I told you this would happen!" Twilight looked down, chastised. Spike was right, of course. When she had started writing her daily check-lists several days in advance, he had immediately picked up on how easy it would be to mix them up, possibly triggering one of her panic attacks. But, she had ignored his warnings, sure that she would be able to keep them organised. Thing is, daily check-lists meant daily chores, and so the similarities had made it hard to differ between them.

Twilight scanned the scroll's contents quickly. Sure enough, the last item on the list was 'Pick up cake for Fluttershy from Sugarcube Corner'. It looked like that was the only item out of the ordinary- all the rest were just the usual chores.

"Sorry Spike." Twilight said, sadly. "I guess I need to learn to listen to you more often..." Seeing his sister/parental figure edging towards tears, Spike moved to intercept the bad mood with a strong hug.

"It's ok, Twilight. Just be more careful next time, alright?

Twilight giggled and smiled, her sadness banished as she nuzzled Spike. "Sure."

"Truth or dare? How do you expect us to play truth or dare?" Pinkamena's voice was full of disbelief.

"Well, why not?"

"Yeah, it seems like a great idea to me, Pinkamena. What's wrong?" Pinkie asked out loud, sitting on the edge of her bed. The three of them had elected to relocate to Pinkie's bedroom after securing Angel's cake in its box, deciding that it would be better to play games in a place filled with equipment for any kind of activity. However, upon hearing Surprise's suggestion, Pinkamena had been less than enthusiastic for the choice of game.

"Well, first off, how do you choose who get's truth-or-dared?"

"Umm...Oh! When it's your turn, you spin...the...bottle..." You could almost here the pieces slotting into place as Surprise realised the predicament. Namely, the fact that they were all in the same body, and so couldn't really choose 'victims' in the normal way.

Pinkie, however, merely giggled. "No need to worry, Surprise! I've got just the thing!" She jumped up and skipped over to her cupboard, throwing the door open and rummaging enthusiastically. Before long, all manner of miscellaneous objects were flying over her shoulder as she worked through the mass of books, board games, balloon packs and other such things. Eventually, her questing hooves uncovered her quarry. "A-ha! Found it!" she sang in triumph. 'It' turned out to be a home-made cardboard spinner, like the sort that comes with a game of twister. It was split into three equal coloured segments, each with a name neatly printed inside. The pink section, predictably, contained the name 'Pinkie'. Surprise's name was housed in the third coloured a bright yellow, and the final, bright red section bore Pinkamena's.

"Ok...Well that's one problem sorted. Second one: how do we do dares?"

"Swap control of the body?" Surprise's tone of voice was innocent, but Pinkamena couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Oh, ok...ARE YOU CRAZY?!? What if somepony come in here whilst you or I were in charge? You know we can't switch instantly, and I doubt we could fool Pinkie's best friends into believing we were her, me especially! And if we did switch, then it'd look like Pinkie'd fainted!"

"Oh...umm..." Pinkie winced at Pinkamena's outburst, while Surprise tried to come up with a counter-argument. The problem was, Pinkamena was right. The three of them could switch who was in control of the body, and it was kinda like fainting, except the pony that gets up isn't technically the pony that fell down. If somepony came looking for her at the wrong moment, then they would be in quite the predicament. She knew that. Problem was, she still wanted to play, and she was sure that Pinkamena did too. Something about her voice sounded a bit forced, like she didn't want to say the words and stop the game, but knew she had to.

Determined to keep the impromptu game on track, she decided to resort to slightly drastic measures. In this case, barricading her door shut via the use of her bed, despite Pinkamena's protests. The door opened into her room, so there was no way somepony could open her door. Sure, it may worry them, but it wouldn't be as bad as seeing her black out with no explanation. She was sure that she could explain a bed, on the other hoof- maybe she could say she was building a pirate ship? It was only a precaution, anyway- she wasn't expecting anyone until later, when Twilight came, so until then they had the room all to themselves. Perfect. Having explained her reasoning to the other two, she cleared the middle of her room and set the spinner down. She span it. "Ok...Surprise! Truth or dare?


"Alright...hmmm...I know! Surprise, I dare you...To stand on your head and spin around three times!!"

She closed her eyes, and felt that familiar tug in her mind. Her body tipped forward, and as she sat down beside Pinkamena, who was currently shaking her head in disbelief, she waved a greeting. Pinkamena nodded an acknowledgement, and Surprise's eyes snapped open.

"Game on!"

"And...done!" Twilight shelved the last of the books as per the library's sorting system- one that she'd have to re-design at some point. It seemed logical, but for some reason she could never find the books she was looking for when she really needed them. The only reason she was putting it off was the inevitable re-sorting of the entire library, something neither she nor Spike was particularly looking forward to.

"You finished in there, Spike?" She called out to her assistant, who was sorting in the next room. She walked over to the doorway, and poked her head in. Spike was standing on tip-toes to slot a book into its rightful place on the shelf, with a small stack of books on his right.

"Almost!" He called back. Twilight smiled. The library looked like it was going to be cleaned in record time. And, seeing as the only other chores were menial tasks that could wait until later, she decided that now was the perfect time to pick up that cake from Pinkie. Decision made, she informed Spike of her outing. "I'm going to pick up Fluttershy's cake from Sugarcube Corner now. Do you mind holding the fort until I get back?"

Spike waved his free hand. "Sure, get going. Don't keep Pinkie waiting!"

Twilight nodded, smiling. "Of course! Be right back!"

The bakery in question was only a short trip across town, and so Twilight took her time and greeted the occasional passer-by as she walked. Even now, several months after her coronation, there were those who felt compelled to bow down in her presence, despite her protests. One such pony, it seemed, was Colgate. This was apparent due to the fact that she was currently on her knees outside Quills and Sofas. The rather awkward situation with the town's dentist was already garnering some curious looks. It didn't help that the blue unicorn was right in front of the shop's door, having spotted Twilight just as she left the shop, therefore blocking both access and exit.

"Er...Colgate?" Hesitantly, Twilight got the dentist's attention. "Do you think you could...well...stop bowing? There's really no need to-"

Colgate leapt to her hooves, blushing. She smiled hesitantly. "Sorry, Twilight... I forgot for a moment."

Twilight smiled back. "Oh, no need to worry." She said brightly. "It's just it's kinda awkward for me... and you were sorta blocking the door."

"Hehe...oops". Colgate scratched the back of her head in embarrassment. Twilight was still the same pony who had come to Ponyville all that time ago. Even after being a princess for months now, she was still uncomfortable with some of the formalities. Twilight just wanted to be treated normally, and so treat her normally Colgate would. The two chatted for a while, the initial awkwardness soon fading away, talking about how things were going at the library, the date for Spike's next dental check-up, and other such small talk. Eventually, the two said their farewells, and went their separate ways.

Twilight made her way across the rest of town with little incident, and soon the familiar gingerbread house came into view. She trotted up to the shop cheerfully, and stepped inside. The bell tinkled pleasantly as the door opened, and she was greeted immediately by Mr Cake, who was behind the counter.

"Good morning, Princess Twilight! You here to pick up the cake?" he called cheerfully, looking up from the till.

"Morning, Mr Cake. Yes, I am. Do you know where Pinkie is? She was going to help me get it back to the library safely." Twilight replied, moving across the shop floor to the counter. Mr Cake thought for a moment, and smiled pleasantly.

"I think she's in her room. I don't know what she's doing up there, though- sounded like she was moving furniture around earlier!" He laughed. Twilight cocked her head to one side.

"Moving furniture? Why would she do that?"

"I have absolutely no idea, to be honest." He shrugged. "Maybe you could ask her for me?"

Twilight nodded. "Sure!" She ducked under the counter and headed through the doorway into the rest of the bakery. From there, she headed upstairs, and located Pinkie's door. She raised her hoof to knock, and was just bringing it down when Pinkie suddenly shouted from the other side.
"WHA-NO! I AM NOT ANSWERING THAT!" She sounded angry. Twilight froze. Who was Pinkie talking to? There was a pause, and then Pinkie's voice emanated once more from behind the door.

"I don't care if it's the rules! I'll do a dare instead!"

It sounded like she was arguing over a game of truth or dare, but there had been no sound between Pinkie's two outbursts. It sounded like she was talking to herself in there! Increasingly worried, Twilight pressed her ear above the door, desperately trying to detect the quiet voice that was replying to Pinkie. Maybe Fluttershy? But why would Pinkie be angry at Fluttershy?

"Wha-fine. I...I have... I have a crush on somepony. There, I said it. I'm not saying who, though."

Another pause. Twilight couldn't hear anypony else in the room! She started to panic.

"Surprise, it's ok, there's no need to apologise so much... Oh, not you too, Pinkie! I'm-"

That was the last straw. Twilight banged on the door. Talking to no-one? Referring to herself in the third person? Pinkie Pie was clearly having some kind of mental breakdown in there!
"Pinkie?" she called, trying to keep her voice calm. "It's me, Twilight. Are you alright?"

"Horseapples! Switch!" came the only, confusing reply. Twilight tried the handle. It turned easily enough, but the door wouldn't open. Mr Cake's words floated through her mind.

"Moving furniture around..." She murmured the words, and her eyes widened in realisation. She gasped. Pinkie had barricaded herself inside. This time, she hammered on the door.

"Pinkie! Are you ok?!? Let me in!" After a few moments of slamming her hoof against the door, the sound of something heavy being pushed around on the other side reached her ears, and she breathed a small sigh of relief. Pinkie was unblocking the door. Whatever it was, though, was moving agonisingly slow. After what seemed like hours, the door swung open. Behind it stood a slightly panicked-looking Pinkie Pie, a clearly forced smile on her face.

"Hiya Twilight! You wanna see the cake? It's a really good one! There's carrots, and cream, an-" Her nervous babble was interrupted by Twilight putting her hoof up to shush her. From where she was standing, Twilight had a clear view of Pinkie's room. There was no-one else. Pinkie was on her own in there. The last scrap of hope, desperately clinging to the slim possibility that there was somepony with an incredibly quiet voice talking to Pinkie, let go and died.

"Pinkie...I heard you talking. What's wrong?"