Pinkie doesn't tell ponies about Pinkamena and Surprise. The doctors said that they were bad for her, that they were a disease, but she disagrees. Sure, Pinkamena's a bit of a grumpy-pants, but she's still a great friend! She's often the voice of reason to counter-act some of the other two's crazier ideas, after all. Surprise, on the other hand, is a great prank-player, and always up for some fun. She's more like Pinkie, only more hyper. Both are great fun to be around, and they get on well.
Thing is, she knows that if she told ponies about them, then they would be dragged back to the hospital. And then be 'treated' again. None of them want that. Because of this, not even her best not-in-head friends know about them. The three of them have, for years now, been careful enough to keep the existence of Pinkamena and Surprise secret.
This has, of course, gone out the window now that Twilight is hammering on the door after overhearing one third of a conversation, with no sign of anyone else talking.
Hints of F/F shipping inside. Nothing will actually come of it here, though. Maybe in a future story.
Cover art can be found here: http://killryde.deviantart.com/art/Smile-338206490
cool! update!
ponders thoughtfully............................
that was actually pretty good to be honest. surprisingly good even. i gotta know the story with why she has this kind of disorder, or what is gonna happen now that twilight exposedh er.
think a part of me that likes it the most might be that despite the potential, pinkie is clearly not dangerous because of her personality disorder. she simply has it.
An interesting idea. It remind me of a visual novel that I read some time ago.
This kind of scenario can end either really well or really badly for the protagonist... and I suppose that the dark tag isn't there only for it's pretty red color.
The romance tag could make this all the more interesting , since there is two romance possible here given the characters.
It could be either Twilight and Pinkie with the other two watching , or Twilight and all three of them... assuming they all stay "alive" for the duration of the story. The dark tag could mean a "I love you so I cure you , want it or not" kind of scenario ... that would be a lot less interesting in my opinion.
All in all , I guess I am going to follow this to see where it goes.
I like this.... MOAR!!!!!!!!!
I would really like to see where this is headed.
Keep it up!
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It wasn't Pinkie with the crush, it was Pinkamena.
3912009 Hmm...if Pinkamena has a crush on either Surprise or Pinkie does that count as narcissism?
This is... different.
It was good, though!
i love this story! You did a good job especially considering that this is your first time, keep up the good work!
What would be interesting is if each personality had a crush on a different pony and each thought the others was strange. Think if Pinkie liked Rainbow Dash, Pinkamena liked Twilight, and Surprise liked Big Mac (insert other ponies as needed)? The result would be so hard to deal with.
Must see how female version is able to hide this. I demand MORE!!!
when do we get an update? I MUST KNOW!
Oh, wow! Can't wait to see how this unfurls!
knowing Twilight...
crap....
all i could think of from the description was dbz abridged
im not crazy your crazy especially you napa
didn't you kill him?
I wuv it please update
Quite an enjoyment indeed! It is rather nice to see a writer explore this side of The Pink One and do it quite well too boot!
Now I can pass out.
g'nite
I don't understand this. Not one bit.
...How are you able to make 4,000+ words feel like less than 1,000?
That was pretty good. It lines up with the show pretty well so far. NEXT!
Three Pinkies?
...this is an interesting start.
Ohhhh this is great!
I haven't been so interested in a story since... forever.
This gun be good!
Pinkamena is just Pinkie's full name, nothing more
Prepare for the feels!
So if I get this right , Surprise could perfectly pretend to be Pinkie and none would notice ?
I mean , they are pretty much the same , Surprise being just a little more hyper. Her friend would just think that she is in a good mood that day.
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Yes, that's more or less right! Most ponies would probably just see a really happy Pinkie Pie. Maybe her closest friends may notice something's different, but they wouldn't think anything of it. In fact, this has already happened! In Pinkamena's explanation, she asks Twilight whether she's ever been to a really energetic Pinkie Party. You don't see the answer, but it's pretty clear that Twilight says she has. Pinkamena goes on to say that Surprise was probably was in charge of that party. Sometimes, Pinkie and Surprise collaborate on these sorts of things, if they think the party would benefit from Surprise's input.
As for Pinkamena...Well, you'll see. I have done some foreshadowing, so you may be able to guess the circumstances. I will say this, though: they aren't happy ones.
Quite the enjoyable story. truly, the worst I can say about it is that it can get a bit redundant in places, especially in this chapter. we didn't really need to have Twilight's perspective in the last chapter if you were just going to backtrack a bit and do the same scene in PInkie's perspective for example.
I suppose I could also say you use too many page breaks as well. Since Pinkie, Pinkamina, and Surprise are all in the same head, it would seem much more cohesive and fluid if the switches between them had no page break. It would look to the reader like it does to Twilight, and it would drive it home that the three of them are in the same body and they really shouldn't be.
I also felt like Pinkie could've fought a bit more to avoid confessing to Twilight. (i.e. "I was talking to Gummy!")
Other than that though, this story is awesome. Pinkie is my favorite of the mane six, but she also seems to be the least liked a lot of the time. there's a lot of depth to her character that I feel just doesn't explored nearly as often or as well as it should, likely because Pinkie is also the hardest character to transfer iinto a literary setting (also, fuck Cupcakes and what it did to Pinkie PIe, but that's niether here nor there).
anyway, I absolutely love your premise. It isn't too much of a stretch to believe that Pinkie could have multiple personality disorder, and, YAY, Pinkamena and Surprise! obviously Pinkie doesn't sprout wings and go super saiyan when she shifts to Surprise, but does her hair go straight when she sshifts to Pinkamena? If so, is that the only time it goes straight or does it go straight whenever any of her personalities gets sad? How many Pinkie personalities does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If I have two apples in one hand and three in the other, how fast do I have to run to escape Applejack?
These are important questions you know.
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Thanks for the suggestions! I'll try and cut down on the page breaks. As for the Twilight/Pinkie perspective backtrack, sorry about that. I wanted to show what both parties were experiencing. That should be the only time that happens, though. Appearance-wise, Pinkamena usually has a straight mane, whilst Pinkie and Surprise both have the frizzy mess we see in the show. Their manes do go straight when sad, though, and Pinkie's sadness meant that her hair was already flat when switching with Pinkamena, so a change in mane condition didn't occur.
I'm glad you like the story so far, and hope you enjoy what I have planned for the rest of it!
all I can really say is simply this: Wow...this is now a new favourite story, please continue...this has caught my interest.
-frost
3920124
Glad you like it!
okay, this is getting good here. though pinkie was lucky these personalities were not dangerous to her well being. and i can imagine why pinkemena exists now.
if this gets any better there is definitely gonna be a upvote and a favorting in the future....... i am rather pickey though so we wil ahve to see.
........think the weirdest thing here is that with equistria, it could literally be two other beings inside of pinkie pie. it is realm of magic after all. the brain is more than just biological circuitry in that case.
So, Pinkamina was created as a coping mechanism for Pinkie's 'therapy'?
Maybe the three get sent back to the doctor and another personalities appears?
When you say 'dark', how dark are we talking about? Nobody dying or getting mutilated, right?
When you say 'dark', how dark are we talking about? Nobody dying or getting mutilated, right?
3921357 Probably more along the lines of cruel "methods of treatment".
I have adored this idea and secretly cultivated story ideas about it for years. I probably should have realised if I didn't actually start writing something, somebody would beat me to it.
Still, I always envisioned Pinkamena and Surprise as a little more extreme - that Surprise did have no inhibitions, and that Pinkamena was eternally depressed and pessimistic. I thought that would be far more interesting. If you've got two split personalities who are really nice, on-the-level people who you totally get on with and are incredibly beneficial to your existence, there isn't really a story there without external issues coming into play.
Best of luck with this story. You're doing a good job so far.
I'm really excited about this story. I can't wait for the next chapter!
Interesting... I can see this story going on for a long while... Now, Get to work! I think we can all be generous, and give you a 14-hour work shift!
Really though, this is a good story. The romance tag is intriguing...
This is exactly my kind of story, and it's wonderfully written.
I don't usually like Dark stories. And I say "usually", because every once in a while a story like this one comes along. For my taste, a Dark story needs to show right from the start that in the end things can be as good and bright as they used to be, and I can really see you pulling that off.
Omg, i cant believe you let it here....i really need to read what happens next.
Ok, now I want to know where Pinkamena comes from...
My only regret is reading this before Chapter 3 is out, I have a good idea of where Pinkamena came from from the hints given but I really want to read through it. This has romance in it so I can only assume it's either between Pinkie and....herselves...or Twilight which later on will be all kinds of amusing and strange since it'll be like dating three people at once. Also glad to see a 'Pinkie isn't exactly right in the head' story without Pinkie turning into a murderer for once.
Amazing idea! I love it and you're executing it very well! This is now one of my favorite fanfictions ever! Please keep writing it, I want to keep reading so bad!
Hurry up!
copywriterconfessions.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/write-faster.jpg
Write faster!
Wow, this is a fantastic story!! Very creative and well-written. Looking forward to the next chapter
They're going to need a four-sided spinner.
I hope 'Dr.' Asshole makes a come back and tries to do something. Then he gets shitstomped by 5 mares out behind Sugarcube corner with baseball bats