Sweetie Belle gets stuck in a time loop.
Traducción Española: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/Un-poco-circular-1-4-990271915
Proofread by many people such as: 0_0, refferee, Leonzilla, crooked, TheGreatEater, and other people I may have missed.
Reader! Choose your comparison story:
Groundhog Day, Edge of Tommorrow, Hard Reset.
5232745 Groundhog day. It's a great old classic.
Have to ask. How many days does she go through before a loop?
This is going to be good.
Also I love the cover image. Crazy Belle is best Sweetie Belle.
This. We need more of it.
5232849 5, she never has a weekend.
5232926
This is going to be interesting. Especially whn we get to the obligitory suicide scene / couple of loops. Don't know if the whole "went crazy for a while and just killed everypony" thing is going to happen, but seeing her kill herself to escape the loop might be novel. If only because it's not a day loop.
Or MLP Time Loops
I hope this turns out similer to Groundhogs Day.
I hope this gets on the popular list!
This fic is somewhat similar to Groundhog day. Even that one fic called Hard Reset.
This was very well done, and I wish that people would leave comments like these on my stories.
Keep going. I'm curious to what will happen next.
5233835 Well I like your stories.
Hmmmmmm. I feel potential. I have to wonder where this is going to go. Good luck, sir.
5234457
Thank you
5234822 No need to thank me, you deserve it. :)
Sounds like an interesting story, but the picture makes me think of five nights at Freddy's for some strange reason.
5236335
Is this where you wanna be?
Tracking. Time loops are fun.
I sincerely hope she goes crazy.
“Sweetie Belle, wake up, it’s time for school!” That was strange, it should be the weekend.
Sweetie Belle recognizes that's strange before even waking up fully or even opening her eyes, a small child is this immediately aware.
Sweetie opened her eyes to her room and sat up, rubbing her eyes.
Opened her eyes to her room? is that really necessary. I mean if she opened her eyes to something shocking sure , but "She opened her eyes to her room" reads really weird to me . Why not something like "Sweeite opened her eyes, and started looking round her room whilst rubbing her eyes"
He room was neatly furnished, a soft bed, a vanity unit, and a mat in one corner with some toys [call them teddies here] on it. Truthfully she didn’t play with her teddy bears anymore, but they still held a special place in her heart.
Her room was neatly furnished, it had everything she needed; a soft bed, a vanity unit, and a mat in one corner with some toys on it.
Truthfully she didn't play with her teddy bears anymore, but they still held a special place in her heart.
clumsy superfluous description , can't the characters describe this to us or something ? Also it would make much more sense if it was referencing some teddy bears already mentioned. You cant just suddenly start a sentence with "truthfully i don't play with [that particular thing] anymore " without ever mentioning the thing before.
Failed the first paragraph run though by quite a margin. Proof read more dude!
5236379
Fair points. I'll see what I can do about it when I get the chance.
Except for the first one, I'm not using that type of third person. I believe the one you're referencing is called third person omnipotent?
Wait, so she didn't notice it was a loop until loop 3? Ah, I suppose that explains the chapter titles.
Very good so far, sally forth my good sir, there are not nearly enough good time loops stories on here.
Wobbly-bobbely-timey -whimy, enypony?
me thinks the tardis does a flyby
p.s: great story
...isn't it "Ashes, ashes, we all fall down"?
5236370 O_o
5236444
OH COME THE BUCK ON!
I was gonna say that...
~Me
5236645 oops,sorry
5236514 Technically yes, but this is the one I sung as a kid. Makes more sense then ashes tbh. Maybe it's just me.
Dude, if you YOURSELF viewed your story, then it will show that 2 people viewed your story. Don't freak out man. Loving the story so far, though I wish I'd started reading it when you finished. Waiting for the next chapter is so painful LOL
5236693
Don't worry, except the times it's more than 1k, it should update daily ^^
Strange, it's never done that before 0_o I don't mean the views, the 'who is currently viewing' thing that was added recently.
5236697 Eh, if I still think you shouldn't worry. Now, if all your stories disappear tonight, THEN that would be a problem
5236699 Ehehe ^^ It's not like my password is hard to guess. Here's a big hint: It's password.
Ring around the rosy...
Pockets full of posies...
Ashes...ashes,
We all fall dead...
5236514 "We all fall dead," actually.
5236705 Hmm...
5236709
See:
5236691
5236712 It's not as if it's a big secret Xd
5236718 I just have to wait for him to log off now...
5236720 Not to my account, just the stories.
5236722 *6 hours later* DOES THIS GUY EVEN SLEEP AT NIGHT!!??
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8181-1348961216188.gif
5236726 But yeah, it's only my password for stories, not for my account.
5236732 oh, well then...crap
i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm140/Shineymagic/funny/horsecant.gif
5236691 Actually, the nursery rime is based off the "Black Death" (AKA the Black Plague) that killed off thousands of people. The "Ring around the rosey" is what it looked like when someone got the disease. The "Pocket full of posies" is when people would put flowers into the dead people's pockets so they wouldn't smell as bad. The "We all fall down" means that everyone dies. And the "Ashes to ashes" is when the body was burned. I don't know how "A tissue, a tissue" makes too much sense...
5236744 Well as a kid I always thought it was sneezing. Like sneezing so hard you fell down. But very well, if it's that important I'll change it. Just say the word.
Also:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ring_a_Ring_o%27_Roses
5236713 The one I typed was the one my dad taught me when I was five. He even gave me a history lesson behind the Black Death, to which my mother got mad at him for. His only defense was that that was how his dad taught him about the Black Death.
5236784
It was the same way for me. Read my last comment, I edited it.
5236758 Ah, referencing it to sneezing makes more sense. The only real reason I explained that was because I was confused on how you thought "A tissue a tissue" made sense. Sorry if I came off as a jerk or something.
Well, a time loop story on the feature list. You got my interest.
5236842 Nah, I understand. A heated discussion isn't that big a deal ^^
5236705
It's not swordfish? I thought it was always swordfish...