• Member Since 18th Dec, 2012
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Flammenwerfer


Auf Wiedersehen, fuckboi

Sequels1

T

The Crusaders sometimes form conclusions and make decisions based on impulsivity and gut feelings rather than rational thought. So, when they meet Ponyville’s newest, specialty flower vendor—a young, quiet mare from Alemaneia named Schneeblume—Scootaloo immediately begins to suspect something… that behind her quiet exterior, that bright smile, and those kind eyes, she's hiding something sinister.

Well, technically, she is... but perhaps not in the manner they expected.

In the end, the three quickly-growing fillies may find that their cutie marks and their penchant for helping ponies may come in a different fashion than they're used to.


Cover art done by the incredibly talented G_Hyze. This is the crop of a full picture I commissioned; said picture is presented in the story and sourced to his DeviantArt.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 91 )
ARTL #1 · Apr 27th, 2017 · · ·

Schneeblume.

Snowflower?

I think this was amazing, and my heart was racing all the way through. I don't think I can ever imagine what it would actually be to fight in a war; much less on a side that everyone sees as a villain. But I think this goes a long way in portraying that.

Favorited.

8124754 Hey thanks, man! Definitely not my usual style (though trying to make it so!), so I'm glad it worked out well and made you think the way it did. Huzzah! :pinkiehappy:

Oh what a lovely title! So peaceful and nice and...
>reads tags
>"Dark" "Sad" "Slice of life"

...huh. This sounds soul crushing already.

Beautifully written.

Though, you used "neither" and "both" in reference to more than two things, which threw me off.

Other than that, beautifully written.
And featured so soon. How 'bout that?

8125317 whoopsie! Must've missed that. Lemme go take care of that. :twilightsheepish:

Thanks! And glad you enjoyed it!

Wow, it's been a long me since I've read a fic that made me cry. That was beautiful, powerful and moving. These were good tears.

So many millions of lives, wasted in a global conflict that started out as a small, local affair. And in many ways, it was all for naught. Or, if anything was gained, is wasn't worth the price of their lives. It was meant to be the War to end all Wars, but all it did was set the stage for a far more devastating conflict, one with more blood, more destruction, and more horrors. But at least that war arguably had a purpose, and their lives were not in vain as the world's major powers have not gone to war since. For if they did, it would be the end of us all, forever.

I am reminded of the song we sang at school for Anzac Day, remembering the men who a century prior, naively sailed far from home with hopes of seeing the world, doing something glorious, and it would be over quickly and they'd return home with tales to tell of their adventure. They instead perished tens of thousands of miles from home, under gunfire from a people they had no personal quarry with. Even those who came home, didn't come home whole, much like Scheeblume.

"Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing.
Where have all the flowers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the flowers gone,
Young girls have picked them, every one.
Oh when will they ever learn, oh when will they ever learn?"

World War 1 wasn't a war of ideologies, it was a war of alliances and partnerships. The ultimate barfight that spun our of control after one person in spite splashed their beer at the other, and everyone in the bar lay dead by night's end.

I have a personal interest in World Wars 1 and 2, and I've seen many a documentary, I've read many a textbook page, seen many a film. This however, had so much more weight to it. You created a character that made me relate to the experience of WW1 more than any documentary could ever do.

I guess I just want to say the highest praise I can. Thank you, this was powerful. I'm happy in the end, Schnee found peace. She could see the beauty in the fields that once saw so much destruction

8125317 Holy shit I dropped the ball on that one. How I used 'neither' incorrectly 7 times and did not catch it was beyond me :twilightoops:

That was embarassing. Thanks again!

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

*Salutes*

Lest we forget

It takes a certain kind of story to make me cry.

One soldier to another Schneeblume, I am happy that you found the way past the scars.

I rarely read 'sad' stories due to my overthinking nature, but this was a nice read. Makes me feel a bit sad, content and reflective.
We make jokes and memes about the terrible wars waged, but sometimes it's good to remember them for how bad they actually were, especially since the third one is an actual possibility now.

I love how the tiny details hinted at Schnee's past and the build up to the revelation. Good foreshadowing and pacing there!

I really hope my work did yours justice!

Possible typo? missing "

“Reality fell upon us like the hail of artillery and the storm of machine gun-fire,” her voice dropped to a shaky whisper.
“There was no glory.

“Ya know, I used to be all gung-ho about stuff like this before we got our cutie marks,” Scootaloo added, throwing a small glance of reverence to the marks on her haunches.

Especially if it meant sticking it to Diamond Tiara and her lapdog Silver Spoon.

Timeline hiccup. Since there's no alternate universe tag on this The Crusaders got their marks befriending Diamond Tiara.

8125662 D'oh! That's right!

Lemme remove that.

Christ...

I had the chills reading this. Absolutely amazing work man.

Relly good story. Put this in Fav.

T6

Hot damn.

Having just marked ANZAC Day here in NZ, and as a British immigrant from a traditionally military family, this had some strong impact on me.

I'm not sure what else to say beyond how well you did with this Flam. Saying anything else feels almost out-of-place with the solemness of what this represents, to me at least.

So again, great work Flam. Keep it up man, you're great at what you do.

A beautiful story.

Wow! I loved this! Amazing! It's been a while since I've read anything on this site and not just putting it on my read it later list, much less one that's this long. But wow was this good. A very good story indeed!

Also...

She was beautiful… but in a paralyzing, mildly frightening way; they could place why that was.

They could place... is it supposed to be couldn't? Just wondering.

You know, I am so close to liking this. Just needs some minor editing. (I won't mind doing it myself, but you'll have to wait. I'm not in the mood for it right now.)

Flammenwerfer, I think this might be your most powerful piece of work to date. As a former member of the military, I can understand another former soldier's mental demons. They never go away. Ever.

As I read this, I found myself simply staring at the words written on my screen. My eyes mindlessly scanning the same sentences, my subconscious aimlessly telling them to just keep scanning, left to right, to read the words. But even as they scanned, the words weren't what I was seeing. All I could see, even as I scrolled down the page without ever remembering touching the button, was those fields of pocked earth, those snaking lines dug deep, those dead, burnt trees, the clouded sky blotting the midday sun. The puddles; of water, of blood. The...bodies. The last remaining bricks of what may have been a house, or a bakery, somehow not swept away by the concussive fist of the shells. I could hear; the screams, the gunfire, the explosions, I could smell; the cordite, that freshly-cut-grass of Phosgene, the garlic of sulfur mustard, and the pepper-and-pineapple of Chlorine. I could feel the rain, the itch of the wool uniform, the weight of the gun in my hand. As I read this, I was there.

And I didn't want to be.

Before I read this, what is the Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?

HMB

At first the premise was just looking good and then I saw it was a Flammenwerfer fic so I knew it was about to get dumb lit

You've immersed me in a war that is decades before my time.

I wish all who've experienced any level of this the highest respect and consider any pleasantries I have about the matter as inadequate as I've never experienced anything of the sort. As it is, the best to all of you.

Thank you for this story.

8127285 Link is in the description.

8127501 It talks about war. War from a highly respected standpoint and very well done. Not over the top CRAWLING IN MY SKIN Dark and edgy, but in a way that explains it without being disrespectful.

It is extremely well done.

Good work, Flammenwerfer!

It was a nice story to read. So many emotions and memories captured. Thumbs up for an awesome job!!

Just for my understanding: Seele River equals the Rhine River?

8125293 Be afraid... be very afraid

8125350 And I'm honored that something I wrote was able to evoke those emotions. My intention was to get other people to think and consider the implications that the Great War had on the course of our world and those who fought in it... and so far it seems I've marginally succeeded.

Thanks for reading, mate

8125475 One of my favorites. Excellent choice!

8126064 Super glad you liked it, dude! If I was able to evoke that kind of reaction out of even one person, then I've succeeded.

Thanks again!

8125624 Your work most certainly did my work justice... so much so!

Again, one of my goals was to just get people to think once everything had been placed out in the open, and I'm glad I was able to sow that. Thanks for reading dude, and thanks for the picture! I'll be getting something else over to you soon :pinkiehappy:

8126088 Thanks man! Glad you enjoyed the read!

Wow.

This certainly was interesting. So much dark undertones and disturbing insinuations, but it still ends on a hopeful note.

Thank you for the story.

8125553 And it makes me happy that I was able to elicit those types of emotions from some simple words.

Thank you, and thanks for reading :twilightsmile:

8129297

You are very much welcome. I can only thank you again for writing this:twilightsmile:

This made me tear up. It made me think. How doomed we are. How every day, reporters talk about the prospect of joy with barely unrestrained glee. How that's a reality. How someday, I might have everyone I know stripped away from me. How we're dooming everything around us. How it won't even matter in the end. How terrible war is, and how welcome an accurate portrayal of it is. It isn't something to joke about. You didn't. You looked it square in the eye, and wrote about it. All the harsh realities. How even the seemingly untouchable hurt. So, so much more than many may ever know. I'm just an angsty teen. I admittedly am a horrible person. Pretty egocentric, and would act concerned but not really give a shit if people started getting in trenches and ripping apart lives. This was something I needed to hear. So thank you. More than you can ever know. Oddly enough, this story about technicolor horses with butt tattoos gave me better insight that I've seen in ages. You've created something that's painful to read. War is painful to hear. You didn't sugarcoat it. It made me uncomfortable. It made me cry. It needed to. I needed to. It may seem insignificant, unorthodox, or simply out of nowhere, but this has seriously impacted me. It may seem ridiculous, but these 11000ish words have made me question many things. You changed one person. Just one. And who knows, that might not mean much for you. But it meant worlds to me. From the bottom of what little heart I have left, thank you.




Now I'm gonna go write some angsty poetry!

dear god what have you done

The Prance? :derpytongue2:
Why I hear they eat Humans there! :raritywink:

Fuckin' hell Flame... this was beautifully well done, damn man, good work on this!
This was awesomely well written, well done, and you wrote it out and made me feel dude.

Good show... good show
:heart:

Beautiful story and well done. all the feels :twilightblush:

Powerful... Beyond powerful... Amazing... Well done...

No words could justify how beatiful this is.

?????????? good shit go౦ԁ sHit? thats ✔ some good??shit right??there??? right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self ? i say so ? thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ? ?? ?НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ? ?? ? ? ? ? ? ? ??Good shit

Everyone who reads this, look for the song "Green Fields of France." There are plenty of versions; The Dropkick Murphys, the High Kings, and Celtic Thunder have all done great covers.

Another poem that brings home the horrors of the Western Front is DULCE ET DECORUM EST by Wilfred Owen

"...My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori."

Translation: "it is sweet and honorable to die for one's country"
The old Lie, indeed

It's not often that I'm at a loss for words (as anyone who knows me will attest) but this story definitely put me there.

Very well done!

So, as far as I can make out, her name translates to Snow Flower.

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