• Member Since 18th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen 17 minutes ago

Flammenwerfer


Auf Wiedersehen, fuckboi

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Comments ( 61 )

...the fuck?

I mean, I'm laughing...but seriously, the fuck?

I want to be a rebel, and not click, but it's just so tantalizing...

Well, I'm glad she didn't say that there were hot, single stallions in my area just dying to meet me.

You know what? I didn't regret clicking on this - this was a hilarious read.

A writer comments on another writer's story. What happens next is amazing!
This writer thought people would read his story, until...
Was Flammenwerfer really a writer? What you find out about him could shock you.
This story will prove that everything you knew about ponies is wrong.
Stop doing these health-problem causing writing habits now, just by using ponies.
Here are 10 things you won't get unless you were a 90's pony.
This story was written by a semi-normal person. What you read will shock and inspire you!
When you find out what the ponies in this story do, your jaw will drop!
Think this is a normal pony story? Wait until you see what's inside.
10 simple tips to writing a pony story on fimfic.
Who would have though a story on ponies would be so interesting? You have no idea what you're in for.
First Flam starts to write a story, then...OMG!

...I could do this for hours. It's not like it's my job or anything HA...hah...haha...

Oh my fucking god...

“How is this even possible! The cancer rates fucktupled overnight!”

Don't know why, but fucktupled nearly murdered me here.

Gold... Absolute fucking gold. Hats off to you, good sir.

Have a moustache.:moustache:

I'm just here for the comments. Was not disappointed.

Well then.

That just happened.

Read this story for a chance to get an iPad after saving up a thousand dollars of your own money and using it to purchase an iPad!

7263459 I'm reading this in my new IPad Mini.

“Ugh! How in the hell…” he began, and in a fit of frustration, Vax shoved his papers off of his desk. “How is this even possible! The cancer rates fucktupled overnight!”

“I don’t know, sir… how should we approach this? We can’t afford a mass panic!” Redheart inquired, setting the clipboard on Vax’s desk.

“I don’t even… how bad is this group?” he dared to ask. Redheart shook her head as she read off the results.

“Spike the Dragon came in for his checkup yesterday; perfectly healthy! Today, he came back feeling ill… he’s got stage four ass cancer!”

“Ass cancer?!” Vax questioned, and Redheart nodded vehemently.

“Ass cancer. We confirmed it with the arcanometer; the number was 42.069. Ass cancer. AND THEN…” Redheart flipped the page over. “Rarity Belle, the owner of Carousel Boutique, came in feeling off. She’s never had a major problem at all aside from her acute explosive diarrhea. The mare’s got prostate cancer.”

Doctor Vax blinked twice.

“...She’s a mare.”

Please, play remixes of songs in 8-bit at my funeral. I humbly request Rarity's dead body so I can come out of the grave with someone still in it,

7263471

Not that it matters, but females have a prostate gland.

Into every story a little accidental scientific accuracy must fall.

Next story needs to be about the noble warrior, Sir AdBlock.

I..... don't get it. :unsuresweetie:

JMP

Welp, that was probably the most entertaining short story on this site I've read. Friggin' clickbait.

Great now got asscancer from reading this story.

7263104 Buzzfeed, is that you?

Cancer researchers hate her!

:duck::moustache: We're covered with Celestia Care and can only afford half a bed...and one bed pan...and one Doctor,,,
:twilightoops:???
:duck: We share a bed and thankfully Spikey keeps everything warm, Ever use a cold bed pan?:facehoof:
:rainbowlaugh: What have you two been doing?:raritystarry:
:pinkiehappy:
:applejackconfused:

This story makes no damn sense, and yet I upvoted for some reason ...

I'm tipsy off gin.

Oh, well, I had some tequila earlier, so that must be it ...

Seriously, sometimes you don't need to make sense to tell a hilarious story. :pinkiesmile:

7263483 Some women don't have one, and this may be tied to the lack of ability to achieve orgasm in those women.

Soooooooooooo... to help, they should get parts of a dude's hypertrophic prostate! It's win-win! :pinkiecrazy:

(Alondro is what happens when someone learns TOO much about biology...)

7263799
And the mysterious spy and ally to stallions, Private Browsing.

This gets a like for simply glorious insanity. Discord is most pleased. :pinkiecrazy:

7263104 Donald Trump has died suddenly!

:trollestia:

7265351 I can't believe i got click baited right there... there was just SO MANY HINTS!!! *flips the fuck out*

This story gave me cancer.

7265351 Thank you for that. :rainbowlaugh: I needed that troll to make me smile. :pinkiehappy:

7263673 It's basically a big internet joke roughly translated as "clickbait is cancerous." :rainbowlaugh:

Im not sure what I expected... but it definetly wasn't this! :rainbowlaugh:

7265640 (Alondro achieves victory and his troll powers expand to new lengths!) Huh huh huh, expanding lengths... :rainbowwild:

7265796 This story cured my cancer... but gave me Pony AIDS. :fluttercry:

7266175 I think I understand it now, but it's hard to put it in words.

7265351 A Rick Roll? Seriously? I New it was a troll, but I wanted to see what the troll was.

To the author: Goddammit this story was click bait.

7268074 But it still worked!

For all common pranks, wait a couple years until they fade from memory, then they'll work again!

7268277 Oh, I learned about the Rick Roll on Monday whilst reading about it. Whilst reading, I remembered what the song sounded like, and played it a few times. Then, here I am. How long ago was that a prank? (by the way, I'm 14, so I wasn't Rick Rolled before. That is what it's called, right?)

7266730 Yeah, don't worry about it too much.

Say what you want, this story made perfect sense.
Clickbait is the source of cancer.

Scandalous how could this happen!?

7268340 It was first used by Richard the Lionhearted's troops after they tricked some Muslims in the Crusades by shouting "Yowzahs! It's Allah!" and pointing behind them, so they all turned around just to see Richard (Rick to his friends) rushing up to lop their heads off, which rolled on the ground.

Hence, the Rick Roll was born!

True story! :pinkiecrazy:

7270532 Yes, of course. That must be exactly how it happened.

I came into this expecting an OC, and got Ass Cancer. 10/10

You hecked me good.

Oddly, you perfectly delivered precisely what you advertised.
Click Bait did come to Ponyville.
And no, I did not expect what happened next.

fucktupled

oh that killed me, good thing im undead.

i hape that pops up some were else in your stories.

7263483 i like it when rain falls into each life instead.

... Take an upvote... Just... take it.

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