• Member Since 26th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Diespitris


Occasionally, I get the urge to write about candy-colored mini-horses.

T
Source

"We were so used to them wreaking havoc and walking away from the most ridiculous wreckages that it was easy to forget they weren't invincible. Fate was a cruel mistress to take one of them from us at such a young age...

I was fortunate, but somepony close to me was not. It was hard for me to imagine the loss she felt. It was so difficult. I wish there was more I could have done to comfort her, but my attention was focused elsewhere. Sweetie Belle lost one of her closest friends and she needed me to guide her through the grief and chase away the occasional nightmare. I devoted so much of my time to her that I dared not acknowledge the plague of strange happenings that fell upon Ponyville soon after the accident.

I was such a foolish mare..."

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 39 )

with only 3 likes, how is this on the top ten all time?

regardless, i really enjoyed your work here.

nevermind on my last post. was remembering the last story i read. either way. this is good.

Wow... just wow. It was really amazing, I could almost feel all these emotions. That last scene is truly heartbreaking.

5271591

Thank you very much. The feels were meant to be strong with this one.

Ooooohhhhhh.....There's a bad moon on the rise, allrighty.......and it's got three apples on its haunches.........

I'm trying to picture a fatal carriage accident, with the carriages pulled by ponies. It's not working. :rainbowhuh:

5312556

Ponies (horses) are powerful creatures, my friend.

Imagine a small carriage of only two ponies (Applejack's parents) being stampeded by a taxi drawn by twice as many ponies, especially if they didn't have time to brace themselves for the collision. It wouldn't be pretty.

God, I love the execution of this chapter. It has really tugged at the strings in me. :pinkiesad2::heart:

My god this story was done right. Why do I feel like fangirling all over this story right now?

5396199 Oh no, thank you for being so good at you do. I couldn't have asked for such a better time to run into you and your story. :heart:

Well, we have something of an antagonist here. Perhaps whatever dark spirit that menaces the others will feed off of Applejack's misplaced rage.

Wow. This is perfect. Can't wait to read more! :rainbowkiss:

Stories like this are why I'm glad we see so few children in the ER where I work, and what ones we do see are generally just mild illnesses and injuries.

Great. A villain team-up with Spoiled Rich. Nice one, Applecrackaddict.

Oh god. I do not see a bright ending ahead for this.:fluttershysad:

The zebra's eyes were wide as wagon wheels. “I now remember for what they were desperate! What was stolen from me was the Alicorn Amulet!”

Oh well now that's not a good thing...

Oh lord, the Alicorn Amulet...
Things are gonna get interesting from now on.:twilightoops:

That was increadibly depresing though listning to this definetly didn't help

Ah, horseappales...I smell a family reunion next chapter.

Author's Note:
Alright, it's over. Nothin' more to see here. Everypony go home.

Uh, yeah, no, I don't think so. You can't really tell me that's the end, right?


Convention of the genre "You don't see a body they ain't really dead -and they WILL be back"

Eh, could really use an epilogue. I'll leave it unrated until then.

And neither did Applejack. "No..." she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. "No...! You're... You're lyin' !"

She shook her head and she slapped the stallion's hoof away. " She ain't dead! " she shrieked.

Poor AJ:fluttershysad:.

With the “click” of the closing door, I was alone in the boutique again. Groaning, I left my warm spot on the couch to return to work. There were still dresses that needed to be crafted. Yet, I found myself wishing that Sweetie hadn't told me what she did. Unlike with previous hours, my concentration was continuously broken by worrisome thoughts. My sister and Scootaloo jumped from the go-kart and lived, but Apple Bloom did neither. The little pegasus wanted to tell Applejack... As much as she deserved to hear the details behind her sister's death, there was a part of me that felt it was a bad idea for her to know.

Oh boy...:twilightoops:.

Without warning, her face contorted into a countenance of pure rage as she shoved me away. “How dare you!” she snarled. “Why does your sister get her cutie mark while mine lay dead in the ground? Is that how the world works now? Fillies kill other fillies and get rewarded for it!?”

Oh wow, Applejack is really losing it now:twilightoops:.

“Only because they are!” growled the cowpony. “There ain't nothin' to 'think' about, and nopony sees that—” She yelped as Granny's false teeth latched on to one of her ears. There wasn't enough pressure to draw blood, of course, but she was held captive for a few seconds before she was released.

You know, I can definitely see something like this happening, given that they are ponies and all:derpytongue2:.

I thought wrong, and realized it only when Sweetie Belle—accompanied by both Scootaloo and Cheerilee—came home early from school one day... crying. Scootaloo was on the verge of tears herself, and Cheerilee was just as upset as she told me what happened. The head of the school board, an earth pony named Spoiled Rich, caught wind of some apparently nasty rumors (which I didn't even know about until that moment) surrounding Apple Bloom's accident. And, instead of taking the time to find out the facts, Mrs. Rich approached Cheerilee as she was teaching class and loudly voiced her concerns in front of Sweetie and all her peers. She didn't want her precious little Diamond Tiara in the same class as a set of “dangerous miscreants,” which was such a shame, specially since it seemed that my sister and her hoped-to-be-former bully had been getting along as of late.

You know, for some reason, I can definitely see Spoiled Rich doing that:ajbemused:

“Like what?” the farmer spat, making Twilight wince. “Ain't it like me to tell the truth ? Did y'all forget I'm the stinkin' Element of Honesty ? Because none of y'all seem interested in what the truth is!”

The truth is that what happened was an accident, and that Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are not to blame, but you can’t seem to accept that:twilightangry2:.

“No, Applejack. You managed to convince yourself of what you believe is the truth, but it's not the truth at all!”

EXACTLY!!!

“They deserted her! There was a chance for her to live and they abandoned her like garbage!”

Oh so you’re saying you’d have all three of them die Applejack? Is that it?

“Neither were you! I want justice for my sister and, gosh darn it, if I have to scream the truth to all of Ponyville to get it, then so be it!”

You do that and the only justice your going to get is justice brought down upon you:ajbemused:.

“Yeah, because Apple Bloom would totally like you tormenting her friends when they did nothing wrong! A real sister wouldn't disrespect her memory by acting like a complete psychopath !”

Took the words right out of my mouth RD:ajsleepy:.

Stars curse her big mouth... We knew she'd gone too far the moment Applejack, while balancing herself on her front hooves, spun around. Unfortunately, not even Twilight's magic was quick enough to stop her powerful back hooves from colliding with Rainbow Dash's muzzle.

Alright, Applejack has officially crossed the line:flutterrage:!

The zebra's eyes were wide as wagon wheels. “I now remember for what they were desperate! What was stolen from me was the Alicorn Amulet !”

Oh crap:twilightoops:.

One thought crossed my mind, “ With the exception of harassing us about the girls and putting Rainbow Dash in the hospital. ” It was a sour attitude, I knew, and so I simply nodded my head. Twilight was right. Applejack was in Appleloosa, as confirmed by her cousin not too long ago. I would have happily gone on with my life, I convinced myself, if it had ended with a dozen dead birds.

We’ll see Rarity...we’ll see:ajsmug:.

I feared the answer, even more so when the older mare's eyes fell upon me, then Rainbow Dash. She didn't have to say it, really, for it was what I had feared all along. Applejack was coming for Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

Oh no...:rainbowderp:.

ICR who said "Some stories leave room for a sequel. Other stories leave a hole the size of a sequel."
This is one of them

Hymn of Breaking Strain - Poem by Rudyard Kipling
THE careful text-books measure
(Let all who build beware!)
The load, the shock, the pressure
Material can bear.
So, when the buckled girder
Lets down the grinding span,
'The blame of loss, or murder,
Is laid upon the man.
Not on the Stuff - the Man!

But in our daily dealing
With stone and steel, we find

The Gods have no such feeling
Of justice toward mankind.
To no set gauge they make us-
For no laid course prepare-
And presently o'ertake us
With loads we cannot bear:
Too merciless to bear.

The prudent text-books give it
In tables at the end
'The stress that shears a rivet
Or makes a tie-bar bend-
'What traffic wrecks macadam-
What concrete should endure-
but we, poor Sons of Adam
Have no such literature,
To warn us or make sure!

We hold all Earth to plunder -
All Time and Space as well-
Too wonder-stale to wonder
At each new miracle;
Till, in the mid-illusion
Of Godhead 'neath our hand,
Falls multiple confusion
On all we did or planned-
The mighty works we planned.

We only of Creation
(0h, luckier bridge and rail)
Abide the twin damnation-
To fail and know we fail.
Yet we - by which sole token
We know we once were Gods-
Take shame in being broken
However great the odds-
The burden of the Odds.

Oh, veiled and secret Power
Whose paths we seek in vain,
Be with us in our hour
Of overthrow and pain;
That we - by which sure token
We know Thy ways are true -
In spite of being broken,
Because of being broken
May rise and build anew
Stand up and build anew.

That’s quite an ending. Quite the story, as a matter of fact. I can’t say I can fully picture Applejack doing such things, but I can certainly imagine it more than Rarity or Rainbow Dash, what with her bullheadedness and history of not listening to her friends or family, as well as the ability to pull the wool over her own eyes. Still, it’s kinda tough seeing her go down this path, but... well, grief can make monsters of good people.

A lot of people probably see it differently, but I rather admire the ending. I’m not sure I’d go as far as liking it. It could use some more interaction, some dialogue, something like that. You could probably find a way to deliver that wham line with more wham and making it feel more like an ending, but I do appreciate part of what it seems to convey. Applejack left the Amulet behind; to me, that signifies that she’s starting to move past her revenge plot, leaving it behind. I see an open end that also has a hint of hope for the future.

Maybe that’s just me, though.

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