• Member Since 20th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 16th, 2019

PajamaHam


Welcome to the party

T
Source

The Cutie Mark Crusaders have always lived in the now, getting what they think needs to be done as a soon as possible, executing their plans just so they can move on to the next one right away, not thinking about the consequences till they’re right there in their faces. But when an attempt to earn their cutie marks goes too far, Sweetie Belle and her friends must face a horrible reality that sends their world into darkness and fear. How will the truth be uncovered and what will be sacrificed to undo this nightmare?

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 654 )

seems nice
will read in the near few years or so

:raritycry: Poor Sweetie! Also, nice job. It's well written and, while depressing, a joy to read, so to speak. :unsuresweetie:

Insta-like for being a Sweetie-bot fic. I'ma follow this the whole way.

All accept for the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Except.

This leads the trio to their next adventure, at the edge of the Everfree Forest.

Lead. You used a present-tense term in a past-tense scene.

There were also a few times you forgot to put a hyphen between words. Eg. 'Red maned pony' should be 'Red-maned pony'

I've never seen you before, so I don't know how experienced you are, but if you want someone to look over your work before you publish it, don't be afraid to ask.

This is quite interesting, It is the first time reading something like this
I am really looking forward to how this is going to come out

So yeah, update soon please! :pinkiehappy:

I got the reference in the title :raritywink:

I like where this is going.

Fave'd.

Nice concept, a good background, realistic scenes, pretty good grammar and you pictured their personalities perfectly. Faved and liked.

... will put in read later... now. go on...

Please, do continue. I am quite intrigued by this.

Any Sweetie Bot story is worth tracking. Very good so far. Keep up the good work! :rainbowkiss:

Wow. :pinkiegasp: This... is just an EPIC beginning to a story.
This had BETTER get in the feature box, cause it sure deserves it.

You stole this from Steel Soul didn't you!

oh fuck. this is gonna be good. following.

"...she announced as she sped towards the phosphorescence space..."

Phosphorescent? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_ooh.png

You're a robot, Sweetie Belle.

1380711 Thanks for the corrections, will fix em now. Yeah, this is my first story. I hope to improve as I continue writing.

i love it already:twilightsmile: MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1381929 Noun: Light emitted by a substance without combustion or perceptible heat. The emission of radiation in a similar manner to fluorescence but on a longer timescale, so that emission continues after excitation ceases.
missbanshee.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/themoreyouknow.jpg

Sweetie Bot fic? About goddamn time!:heart:

1382015 I was correcting you, not asking a question. :ajbemused:

1382049 I don't think Steve Miner is me. Anywho, thanks for the correction :twilightsmile:

I will be reading this until it ends. Great.

I only found one minor grammar critique:

Sweetie Belle gasped as her eyes widened, the pony staring back was something of nightmares.

That's a comma splice It's nothing major, but it should be a semicolon instead..

Twilight would want to take her apart and see how she worked.
Rainbow would most likely attack her, believing her to be a fake.
Pinkie would be all: " Of COURSE she's a robot! All BZZZZZZZZZZZTTT and WRRRRRRRRRRRRR and BOOP BOOP BEE-BOOP! You didn't notice?" :pinkiecrazy:
Rarity would deny that she's who she says she is, thinking that the "real" Sweetie Belle is out there.
Fluttershy might be frighted, but willing to believe her when she sees how scared Sweetie is.
Applejack would be very protective of the others, but most likely more willing to believe her when Sweetie speaks the truth.

Applebloom might be willing to help her out.
Scootaloo is most likely to act like Rainbow and demand where the "real" Sweetie is.

A question: if a fake believes that it is real, does the fake become real? if she thinks she is real, her thoughts, her feelings, does that make her real?

I need a Sweetie Belle icon to show how much I love this story!
:unsuresweetie:
...seriously? That's it?
:unsuresweetie:
Oh well...
:unsuresweetie:

1381781 No, I did not. Our concepts are similar but I had not read "Steel Soul" till now.

Kudos, sir or madam. Sweetie-bot, that's a first. For me at least, evidently not for others though as the comments are showing. I noticed a few spelling errors, mostly phonetic spelling, such as
"She must have looked over her awful injuries ten times before her mind finale broke under how overwhelming"
*finnally

hmm maybe......okay 6 out of 7 moustaches

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::facehoof:

1382188 :facehoof: I can't believe I missed that. Thanks for the correction.

Set phasers to huuuuug!

not bad. not bad at all

The girls had no idea where they were going, but they didn't care, the further away from the carnivores chimera the better

i think you mean carniverous

:unsuresweetie:Poor Sweetie Belle.:unsuresweetie:

Loved it!
Can't wait for moar.

This story needs to be brought to EVERYONE's attention.

1381991 Just for the sake of the time you've probably put in the cover art and the amount of words in the first chapter, you better hope you get more views then this. You've put a lot of effort into this.

~ChaoticNote
author of Luna Plays and Equestrian Earth the MMORPG

I find this to be 'awesome' in every sense of the word.

*looks at cover* And then she killed everything. The end! :pinkiehappy:
(I haven't actually read it, the cover just made me think of FiW)

1382600
Yo dawg, I heard you liked corrections....

Nice catch.

YESYESYESYESYESYESYES
I've been looking forward to this for quite some time now...

Yes, you are a robot! Do the robot, ugh!

Please, do go on.

everything bad always happens to sweetie belle :fluttercry:

great story so far:yay::yay:

From what I read in the title picture, I just hope this doesn't go down like I fear.

You son of a bitch! I had the same idea :twilightangry2: :raritydespair:
Looks interesting though :trixieshiftleft:

If the Manticore had a larynx[...]

I am so disappointed.

Damn, what a very impressive and seriously detailed story, other then remembering to only have five lines in a paragraph I am really enjoying thisa story, Sweetie Belle is my favrotie CMC so I shall be tracking, hoping to see more of this very well written story.

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