• Member Since 2nd Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

CheshireTwilight


I wouldn't consider myself "insane" but I do like mlp, computer engineering, quantum physics, writing and art. So I try to do things which combine ALL those things. That's sane... right?

E
Source

This story is a sequel to Sweetie Belle and the Tablet of Knowledge


Sweetie Belle struggles to find a place between her ordinary life and the extraordinary one she just lived. At first, her friends and family are willing to "humor" her magic and science research she begins as a hobby, but they are forced to act when it starts to consume her social life and affect her mental health.


Lyra—a bit of a conspiracy theorist with an attraction to the occult—was otherwise a completely ordinary pony. With a recent discovery of ancient "precursor" technology and possible government cover up, however, she finds life has becoming far more interesting as she searches for the truth.


Book II of III


Cover art by me! See more of my art on my DeviantArt Page!

Thanks to Malefactory for editing.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 315 )

The cover is wowmazing.

P.S. Hell yea! The original was so good.

5822325
Thanks! :twilightsmile: Hope you enjoy this one just as much.

That was intense :rainbowderp:

Lyra was just an regular pony

a regular pony

Let's see where this goes...

Sweetie Belle tablet sequel.
Oh yes please.

OMFG! A SEQUEL!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!


TOMATO! BANANA! PICKLE! GAH!!! TAKE ALL THE FOODIES STUFF!!!
TIME TO READD!!!!!!

A premonition of a prophesied pony plague primed to pounce on ponykind?!”

Ah adore alliteration! :twilightsmile:

“Now, Tia,” Luna sympathetically asked, returning to face her sister with a stern look. “Thou art going to expound to Us wherefore such action needeth be so requisite … and how dost thou look so ragged! Thine dilemma thou speakest of must assuredly be one of great peril!”

YAY! Luna dialog! Tis thou thine dost WORDY THINGS!

I’ve heard from the nightguard that she’s been trying so hard to ingratiate herself with the citizens that she barely sleeps.

Night Guard
____________

They even informed me to have the Royal guards on alert.”

Guards
_____________

and ‘forgetting’ about his plunderseed vines, he has done nothing too chaotic that it would even threaten the livelihood of an individual pony, yet alone Equestria.”

plunder seeed
_________

You need to watch your compound words and titles. Keep things consistent.

And In the show Pegasi guards are all white, Unicorn guards are all grey.

As for Lyra and Bon Bon. They sound like more than just 'friends' to me. I have never known a friend who would go to the lengths Bon Bon has for Lyra. Spoon feeding her when she forgets to eat, staying up all night worrying for her, begging her boss to not kick her out of her job in one of Lyra's conspiracy binges, heck even her reaction to Lyra going on another one is far more than just a friend. Heck even more than a ' room mate'.

I would by the whole "Stop being your friend", rather than, "stop being your filly friend". If it was not for the fact that Bon Bon treats Lyra as a filly friend, rather than the normal lines one has a friend / room mate.
_____________

Welp, onto the next chapter. Still while I didn't point out all the little errors. Look at your names, compound words, and organizations / what have you (groups, like Night Guard, Royal Guard, ect. get capped), and make sure they are correct.

You made a Sweetie-less Prologue sorta dang fun.
omnom.

5822941
Thanks, I've fixed those instances and more (as well as the grey/white Royal Guard thing go figure I would mix them up :facehoof:).

Anyway, what you are saying about Bon Bon is true. That was the point of this line:

I just wish you could give me more, Lyra. Friends don’t live together, or give each other cute nicknames or cry in each others’ forelegs. Why can’t you show that you love me like I know you do? Why do I have to play second fiddle to your obsessions?

Bon Bon wants to be fillyfriends with Lyra (and in every way but name she is), but until she finds some way to get Lyra's act together she doesn't see it working out. Bon Bon is being the mature one; she knows how serious an actual relationship is and she knows that Lyra (with her obsessions/hobbies etc.) is definitely not up to the challenge.

...

Hm.
I really liked the part where Sweetie Belle read stuff. :twilightsheepish: Honestly, that's the main highlight in this entire chapter.

In my very biased opinion,
the internal dialog looked really ugly. The italics and normal font did not mesh well. Also, the "manipulations wisdom" felt silly. Perhaps it's to provide contrast for when Sweetie learns more about friendship. Or maybe it's a tool to emphasize Sweetie's eventual "character development."

....Still, Sweetie sounds really stupid. I cringed a couple times.

The last story worked so well, because she used SCIENCE. And arguably, that SCIENCE stuff made your writing that more impressive. Personally, whenever you write the Tablet's "manipulations wisdom," it feels fake. It's meh-ish?

Regardless, thank you for the sequel!!! SQUEEE!
You are definitely a wonderful Author when it comes to writing Sweetie Belle and SCIENCE! Thank you for sharing your talent.
You are too awesome. And thank you for putting so much time into your work.

5822978
That's what I was trying to show (for the most part).

The idea with that was to convey that despite Sweetie Belle having all this ... stuff in her brain, she has a hard time putting it to use. There is a huge disconnect between her knowledge, experience and morals which leads her to over-thinking things. When the CMC finally get back together (in the next chapter), there will be more time for Smartie Belle and hopefully you will see more character development which will tie this together.

I must ask that you not take this on.

off
__________

Yay! Sequel. I look forward to the updates. Just make sure the compound words you're using are supposed to be one word or two. Anyways, good chapter, can't wait to see what you come up with next.

5822977

Which is Lyra's loss. Can't wait to see Lyra and Sweetie's paths intersect, and Tia's choice to lie to the populace (as Luna fortold) blow up in her face. After all, those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

5823015

Ah totally get'cha. An' ah get its purpose.
Just musin' if there was any way ta make it flow better, ya know? Ah dunno.

Ah just like learnin' new stuff. :rainbowkiss: Them literary thingy-ma-bobs are fun ta prod and poke.

5823028
No, that was right ... although maybe a bit unclear. This should make it easier to understand:

Once again Rarity, I must ask that you not take this task on yourself.

5823047
There probably is, but I'm not so great an author that I can fix these things in hindsight without rethinking the whole thing. :unsuresweetie: Hopefully, I'll make up for it going forward. :twilightblush:

As for new stuff, there will be a whole lot of that coming soon. :pinkiehappy:

5823049

Much better. How it originally sounded, was he was talking about the HIR [Horn Inhibitor Ring], which he told her not to remove under any circumstances. But the clarification makes a lot more sense.

That is some good cover art, so talented artist, talented writer and also freakishly knowledgeable about science and the like...it's almost enough to make someone jealous.

"A broken clock is right twice a day". That is what Lyra is. She may be right with a few things, but it isn't that hard to be right on some things when your mind lets everything in. Also, since it is Equestria she is more likely to find something fishy than here on Earth, but she shouldnt get so crazy about it.

Great start to the story so far!

Yaay, Sweetie survived and is getting better.

Now, just how many of those outposts, bunkers, research stations and other such precursor sites are there all over the world? Maybe at least one observation post per species start point, Minotaur, Griffon, etc?

Wonder how long before it takes Sweeties internal world state of the tablet manages to reintegrate to the point where it progresses through reaction, sentience, sapience, and intelligence? :twilightoops:

YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOO!

This is looking to be an amazing continuation. I'm not sure what I think about Lyra yet, but she has potential. I do however look forward to reading about Sweetie question the world around her, and potentially discover mind blowing things about her world that she can share with society.

Will she be alright with just irregular checkups every month?

Well, she'd probably be better with regular checkups every month.

In any case, I'm very happy to see this story continue. What do you do after the advanced AI isn't in your brain anymore? I look forward to seeing Sweetie's solution, and whatever antics spring from it.

It taught her about Turing Machines, right? I would make one (The aether is an effectively unlimited tape.)

I think you meant "4-12am". PM would be noon.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! FINALLY!! :rainbowwild: NOW TO WAIT FOR 5 CHAPTERS!! :rainbowwild:

Either Bon Bon doesn't have many buddies or I'm gay for all my friends. I don't know about other people, but I call all of my friends by nicknames (assuming they don't mind) and I don't hesitate to support them (either physically or emotionally) when they need it. Also, a friend of mine is living in my house with me, and seeing him in a romantic light has never even crossed my mind.

Ps. If there's going to be romance, there should be a romance tag.

5822941
The implication is that Bon Bon is in love with Lyra, but Lyra doesn't reciprocate (or at least, she doesn't show it).

Soo lemme guess...

Almost certain:
---------------------------------
This fic will start picking up when Lyra finds Sweetie Belle or vice versa and they both find it mutually beneficial to pursue their interests in secrets together. Otherwise, we wouldn't really have an adventure story, now would we.



Somewhat certain:
---------------------------------
Lyra meets Sweetie Belle while trying to pick out some books for study at Twilight's Library when Sweetie belle is coming in for her regular magic exercises. Or, she meets SB while badgering Twilight about stuff related to the ancient artifact. There is a chance that Lyra may find out about Sweetie Belle's history due to a slip of the tongue or even by accident, but even if that doesn't happen, it's more likely for Sweetie Belle to pursue Lyra out of her new found curiosity and desire to know secrets. It's also possible that they may meet at whever Lyra plays her Lyre, or Sweetie Belle will remember Lyra playing and remember the interesting possible secrets. Or, Sweetie Belle may actively search through ponyville for secrets or research material, and may find Lyra.

Sweetie Belle will then team up with Lyra. While they're teamed up, Lyra might notice how manipulative Sweetie Belle can be, and this will lead to an interesting discussion about whether being manipulative is good or not, for both the manipulator and the manipulatee. Lyra will probably have at least a small amount of disease with Sweetie Belle's manipulativeness, though it will likely be more for Sweetie Belle's sake. (Lyra probably won't know why, but being actively manipulative can distance you from people, deadening social interactions that are required for most mammals.)

Other teachings from the tablet will likely show up as Sweetie Belle uses her manipulation skills, mathematics, structural engineering, etc. to help Lyra find more of the secrets they're both interested in.



You know what, let's make this creepier.

Locations they will likely show up at in the next few weeks/months, besides home:
----------------------
High Certainty: Canterlot Vault.
Medium Certainty: Star Swirl's library wing. Hidden parts of Canterlot Library. The place Sweetie Belle fell into at the start of the last story. The facility that got destroyed.

5824064
Yep. Also, if you remember, Twilight just discovered Aetherial communication so Sweetie Belle has a source of knowledge and resources to do so. How convenient.:duck:
5824123
Right you are, fixed.
5824324
I'm still up in the air about that myself. I will post it (soon) if I decide that romance will be relevant.

5824324 it feels one-sided so i guess that means no romance tag

Hey, will the tablet return in the near-end or---

What am I bloody asking, I just marathoned this series.

I read the first, it went "so much science and math"

I read this, currently it went "aftermath of something you knew"

DF

The cover is awesome, I loved the previous story, and I look forward to the continuation of this one so much that I've caught myself tittering uncontrollably at times.:pinkiehappy:

However, this one has some serious faults when it comes to proofreading/editing. A prime example is the following:

Rarity was looking as good as always, with a simple purple dress while the doctor was. Conversely, the elderly dark-grey unicorn

Editing flubs like this are frequent in the first chapter as well as this one, there are also grammar flubs such as a/an being used incorrectly as well as many others.

I know that you don't have the same editors for this one as for the first story, but letting mistakes like the one above slip through is...

Well, I was going to use some rather harsh terms but that would be even ruder than I already am. Let's just say that I consider it to be a rather large mistake to make.

:facehoof:Ugh, I've let other stories get by without comment for much worse offenses, but that's because I just didn't care as much about those stories as I do about this one.

:twilightangry2:Arrgh, I want to say more but at best it'd be rude and cruel.

That's it, this comment is finished.

I'll wait until there is 5 chapters to start reading this, so i have a lot of material to go through. but just because i believe in you so much...
-added to "favorites"
-added to "tracking"
-added to "read again"
-gave a thumbs up

...so yeah. i have a lot of hope that this will do AMAZING

5824324 Look I got a lot of buddies too but the only time I call one of them Sweetie Drops or something like that is when I'm messing with them. So if you do it seriously, well perhaps you are gay for your friends and you should do some self-reflection to make sure your preferences are what you think they are.

So I might have been up until 3 am this morning binge-reading the previous story, and just polished off what was written now.

i.imgur.com/Ebmlwst.png

Comment posted by Clocklike deleted Apr 6th, 2015

I loved the first story and I surprised myself by how excited I was to see there was a sequel.
:pinkiehappy:

Two things:

The doctor quickly removed the horn and placed the sensor on her head.

Ouch! That sounds like it would hurt! (Pretty sure you meant "ring")

5827404
5827634
Thanks, I've fixed these :facehoof:; I appreciate it. :twilightblush:

5826974
Nope. I've thought about it long and hard, and I simply can't find it in me to find guys appealing. I even had a gay friend take me to a male strip club, and it simply did nothing for me.

The most cutsie nicknames among us are Puppy (myself), Kitty Kat, and Pooh Bear, and we use these names in all but the most serious situations.

5825264 i dont think it needs a romance tag, i am ok with bon bon unrequited feelings for lyra

Nice viewpoints.

Nitpicks:

more than a mildly concerning for the Night Guard

Either delete "a", or "more than a mild concern"

story ‘ere We commit
‘ere their haste miss
slumber ‘ere mine night

I don't think "ere" is actually an abbreviation, is it? (In this context; therefore no apostrophe)

It seemed that it lead poor Sweetie Belle

"led" and, for my money, "seems"

are we laying around here

lying

It only deign to help us

deigns

Lying to the populous never

populace
(populous means something different)

in equal parts agreement as drowsiness

and (not "as")

Still, Celestia was left with a sense of unease ‘I don’t know what it is about this time in particular, but it just never feels right to lie—even to white lie—to my little ponies.’

unease. (period)

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