L20
Sweetie opened her eyes, waking up early for once. Quickly checking her bags, she walked downstairs and quickly ate her pancakes. They were yummy as always, but Sweetie silently wished she could eat something else on a Monday for once, just to liven things up. Oh well, Sweetie stood up and headed for the door.
“Apple Bloom, can you head to school without me? I’m going to be late.” Sweetie waved goodbye to Apple Bloom as she left, and turned, heading down a side street. Looking around, Sweetie spotted them and smiled. Taking off into a run, Sweetie ‘accidentally’ ran into them, causing them to tumble into a pile.
“Oh jeez, I’m so sorry!” Sweetie quickly untangled herself from the pile, and Snips and Snails quickly dismissed her apology. Sweetie pretended to pause, and then narrow her eyes.
“Wait, you’re Snips and Snails, two colts who sit in the back of the class.” Sweetie tilted her head as they shared a sheepsh glance, and nodded.
“And you’re Sweetie Belle, the filly who sits at the front and is teased for not having...a…” Snips looked down at Sweetie’s flank, and both gasped. Sweetie blushed, taking a step back.
“Congratulations on the-” spoke Snails.
“Cutie Mark,” finished Snips. Both shared a glance and smirked. Sweetie giggled, and took a step closer.
“Thank you, I actually got the day off because I got my Mark.” Sweetie raised her head proudly up, and the two colts breathed out in awe. A full day off for getting a Mark? Boy, they were envious.
“Why don’t you join me?” Sweetie fluttered her eyes and smiled as both blinked, and shared a glance.
“Uh, sorry but we can’t.” Snails looked down in disappointment, and Snips nodded solemnly. Sweetie shrugged, and gestured with a hoof.
“Come on, what’s one day of skipping going to do. Let’s go look for bugs at the edge of the Everfree.” Sweetie beamed a brilliant smile, and both colts blinked at her, before looking away and scratching the back of their heads.
“Mm-ookay,” spoke Snips.
“Yeah, sure,” replied Snails.
“I’ll see you tomorrow at school!” Sweetie beamed a dirt-caked smile at the two colts, and bounced her filthy flank home. Both colts waved her goodbye, and quietly skulked home. Sweetie snuck upstairs to the bath, and quickly ran it before Rarity got wise. Once she was sparkling clean, Sweetie nodded, brushing her hair as she headed downstairs.
“How was your day Sweetie Belle?” Rarity ate her food quietly as Sweetie saw down to hers.
“Oh you know, the usual. Everypony was exited about my Mark though.” Sweetie smiled warmly at her sister, and started eating. Soon enough, she was done, and it was time for bed. Heading upstairs, Sweetie closed her door, and finally let her smirk show, looking toward Philomena. Jumping into bed, she silently laughed as she hugged her pillow.
Tomorrow was the day.
Sweetie walked into class proudly, taking her seat. Glancing back, Sweetie was pleased to see it looked like Diamond and Apple Bloom were on familiar terms, quietly discussing her new Mark. Sweetie leaned down, getting into work as she waited for the class to end. After three aching hours, it was time for lunch.
“Hey Scootaloo, Apple Bloom!” Sweetie greeted her friends, waiting for Snips and Snails to leave the classroom. Both of her friends shared a glance, before shaking their heads rapidly and smiling.
“Hey Sweetie, guess what? We managed to convert Diamond and Silver into Crusaders.” Scootaloo pointed to the two as they walked out, and shared an uneasy smile. Sweetie waved eagerly, and the two walked over.
“Uh, hey. Listen, we’re...sorry for calling you a blank flank.” Diamond scratched the back of her head, biting her lip as she awkwardly apologised to Sweetie, having already done so to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. Sweetie smiled and brought Diamond into a very quick hug.
“Don’t worry, I forgive you.” Sweetie felt Diamond flinch, and then relax. Releasing Diamond, Sweetie stepped back so all her friends could see her, and waved Snips and Snails over.
“Girls, you know Snips and Snails. Can we please include them in our group? They’re very fun.” Sweetie motioned both colts forward as they hesitated, hearing her introduction. All four fillies shared a glance, and then rolled their eyes.
“Of course they can Sweetie.” Scootaloo smiled warmly, and all four walked over and began talking to Snips and Snails. Sweetie smiled, pleased with the results. Now all her friends were together. There was just one last thing to do.
“Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, I know how to get you your Marks. But we need Diamond and Rainbow Dash’s help.” Sweetie could tell Diamond wasn’t entirely comfortable around them yet. And that meant they needed a bonding moment. Sweetie looked toward Scootaloo, who nodded.
“I’ll get Rainbow Dash for tomorrow.” Scootaloo then turned her gaze to Diamond, who sighed.
“Alright, what do you need me to do?” Diamond walked over to Sweetie as the filly motioned, and frowned as Sweetie whispered into her ear.
“Well, alright, but are you sure this will work?” Diamond watched as her new friend enthusiastically nodded, and sighed. Whatever Sweetie knew that she didn’t, she’d find out.
“Alright, we’ll meet at my house tomorrow, and do the thing with Rainbow Dash in the afternoon. Does that sound good to everypony?” Diamond looked between them as they all nodded, and glanced to the sky.
“Alright, is there anything else? We’ve still got fifteen minutes left of lunch.” Diamond saw everypony except Silver smirk. Sweetie stepped forward, and gently booped Diamond on the nose.
“You’re it,” she whispered, and everypony scattered. Diamond blinked, and then smiled, chasing after one of them.
“Oh come on! I’m always it!”
“No no no! That spoon goes over here!” Silver Spoon glared at Scootaloo, who numbly put the spoon where it apparently went. Silver nodded once, and glanced over to the other four. Diamond Tiara was overseeing their ‘Fancy cutlery setting up’ over the other side of the table. They were using paper plates, so nothing had a chance of getting broken.
“Ugh, you three are useless! You’re worse than blank flanks, you’re no-flanks!” Diamond pulled out the chair and leapt onto it, and then onto the table so she could look down at them. Apple Bloom met the glare, and opened her mouth to say something back. Sweetie put a hoof over the mouth, and shook her head.
“Seriously, you three can’t even set up a table right, how are you expecting to master this? This is servant work.” Diamond thumped her hoof on the table three times, and then turned toward the chair and made to step off the table. However, it suddenly creaked, and snapped on one end, sending her careening toward a window. On the second floor, it would most certainly hurt.
Sweetie closed her eyes and concentrated, dragging Diamond to the ground, causing her to skid to a stop just before the window. Pretending it took a lot more out of her than it actually did, Sweetie wiped her brow. It was important she act as she did on Loop 7.
“Are you ok?” All moved around to make sure Diamond was ok. Sweetie reached out a hoof, but stepped back as it was swiped away. Diamond turned, and glanced toward the table.
“What was that noise up there?” It was Mr Rich, Diamond flinched and breathed in sharply. Sweetie looked to Apple Bloom, who was looking at the table, and tilting her head.
“Think you can fix it?” Sweetie waited as her friend blinked, and gave a shrug.
“Maybe, but Mr Rich isn’t going to just wait down there while I try to fix the table.” Apple Bloom turned as Scootaloo saluted, and dashed for the stairs. Sweetie moved toward the table and helped Apple Bloom lift it up, grunting. Feeling the weight slightly lessen, she saw Silver, Snips, and Snails were helping. All glanced to Diamond, who blinked and followed suit.
“Ah need a hammer and some nails!” Apple Bloom raised her head and looked to Diamond, who quickly dashed away to get the tool kit. Sweetie bit her lip, and Apple Bloom pulled a chair over, bringing it to rest just under the lower end of the table.
“Y’all can let go now.” Apple Bloom nodded as the chair kept the table from hitting the floor, leaving her enough room to examine it while she waited for Diamond to get back. Below, Scootaloo was stalling Mr Rich, but it wasn’t going very well and he was already at the stairs. If he got to the top, the table would be in clear view of the stairs.
“Here!” Diamond came back with a large tool kit held in her mouth. Apple Bloom took it and nodded to Sweetie and the others, who lifted the table back up to more or less horizontal. Apple Bloom quickly got to work, sweat beading on her head as she forced herself not to rush, despite the noise as somepony slowly walked up the stairs.
“Can I see your money collection? Tell me about stocks!” Scootaloo’s panicked cries were ringing through as Mr Rich ignored every one. Apple Bloom was sweating, hooves shaking. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, and forced herself to work slowly, but quickly. As she hammered the last nail in with a loud thunk, Mr Rich saw them surrounding the table.
“What is going on.” Mr Rich looked as Apple Bloom rolled out from under the table. Looking between her and the hammer clutched in her mouth, he turned to look to Diamond as she strained to hold the table upright.
“You can let it go now,” whispered Apple Bloom through the hammer. All five gently lowered the table down, and let go. It was rock steady. Mr Rich walked over and tapped it, before putting some weight onto it and frowning, tilting his head. Turning to Diamond, he folded his arms.
“You were standing on the table again weren’t you?” Mr Rich was proven right, as Diamond lowered her head and gave a nod. He sighed, and looked toward Apple Bloom.
“Dun worry sir! Ah fixed it up all good an’ proper so ya dun have ta’ worry about it.” Apple Bloom put the hammer down and motioned toward the tools sheepishly, as he once more leaned onto the table.
“I can see that, this table used to have a wonky leg.” Mr Rich let his frown drop as he leaned down and examined the fixed leg of the table.
“Where did you put the nails? I can’t even tell what is your work and what was already there.” Mr Rich looked toward Apple Bloom and let his surprise show. Slowly, the filly smiled and began to point toward specific nails.
“Ya’ see, the table leg was wonky ‘cause this piece of wood wasn’t ‘ammered in properly. So ah fixed up tha’ piece and added some nails for extra support.” Apple Bloom felt hopeful, maybe they weren’t going to get punished. Mr Rich stepped back, and chuckled, shaking his head.
“Well I can’t exactly let a filly who just got her Cutie Mark be punished can I?” Sure enough, on Apple Bloom’s flank was a picture of two pieces of wood being hammered together with a nail. There was also a small clock burned into one of the planks.
“Ah dun believe it! Ah got mah Cutie Mark!” Apple Bloom and her friends celebrated while Diamond and Spoon stood off to the side, feeling awkward. After a moment Apple Bloom turned to them and smiled warmly as she walked over.
“But how did ya know Sweetie?” Apple Bloom tilted her head as Sweetie put an arm around Diamond’s neck.
“This was all Diamond’s idea. I could have never done it without her.” Sweetie smiled, and Diamond frowned, confused. However, as the others crowded around to thank her, and congratulate Apple Bloom, she decided to forget about it. Diamond would never admit it, but she was a sucker for compliments.
Sweetie watched this from the back, smiling warmly as she saw Snips and Snails join in. All in all, it had gone mostly to plan. Sweetie supposed it was lucky Snips and Snails didn’t change anything major. Either way, it was time for the next item. While it had happened on a separate day the last time, Sweetie was sure it would be possible to do it in one. Especially after her secret instructions to Rainbow Dash.
All left the house, and met up with Rainbow Dash, who winked at Sweetie. Smiling innocently, she watched as Rainbow Dash explained she would be teaching Scootaloo how to ride a cloud down an obstacle course. Scootaloo buzzed her wings excitedly.
“We have to clear the clouds for tomorrow anyway, I see no reason not to get an early start. I‘ll be right back.” Rainbow Dash quickly got to work constructing the clouds. Sweetie glanced toward the others, seeing their reactions. Stifling a yawn, Sweetie returned her attention to Rainbow Dash.
"Hop on Scoots, I’ll show you how to make a board. Hang on a sec kid, something's wrong with the cloud.” Sweetie watched as Rainbow Dash showed Scootaloo how to make a board, and then realised Scootaloo was having trouble controlling her innate magic.
“Could ya tone down the magic, sis? It’s interfering with the stuff I used to make the cloud stay in shape. Hold on a sec, lemme see your wings.” Sweetie tapped her foot, trying not to show her impatience. It wasn’t like she could bring out a book, she was supposed to be eager to see what Rainbow Dash was doing.
“Scoots, have you ever used weather magic before? Are ya foster parents Earth or Unicorn?” Once more, Dash watched Scootaloo nod. Sweetie sighed, noticing the others had noticed her annoyance. Forcing herself to act like she was paying attention, the others quickly lost interest.
“There’s the reason for it then, and with Cheerilee being an Earth Pony; no wonder it’s leaking out so much. Alright, listen carefully, I’m not much of a teacher so this’ll be very basic, but follow exactly what I say. Alright, now for the final test.” Sweetie mused over what Rainbow Dash spoke about, understanding slightly more. As Scootaloo flew around, she wondered if it would be possible to get a book about it. It sounded like an interesting subject.
“Heh, I wonder if she’s gonna remember we’ve got stunts to pull.” Sweetie waited impaitently for Scootaloo to remember exactly what Dash had said.
“Alright, time to surf those clouds, kid.” Sweetie watched as Scootaloo went through the course, keeping her expression the same as the crowd.
“That...Was...AWE-SOME!” Dash and everyone began to crowd around Scootaloo, giving praise. Even Diamond, who was standing slightly to the side, sent a ‘good job’ her way. As Scootaloo felt everyone praising her, and the knowledge she would never be grounded again, tears sprung to her eyes, and she looked to her flank as a tingling distracted her.
Sweetie watched as Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash shared a tearful hug, and nodded. There was just two more things to do.
Sweetie dodged one snowball, tossing her own at Snips before getting hit in the head by one from Snails. Ducking, Sweetie nodded to Diamond and Silver, who were on her team, and they both rose, sending a flurry at the two colts, who were buried under the snow. A white flag popped out of the snow, and Sweetie turned her attention back to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.
“Darn it, we took so long with Snips and Snails they made a flank-load of snowballs.” Sweetie smiled warmly at Diamond and Silver, and they all knew they were going to lose. Raising her final snowballs with magic, Sweetie charged the enemy base.
“We fight to our last breath!” Sweetie gave a battle cry, Diamond and Silver right behind her. As they fell under the torrent, Sweetie saw Scootaloo get face planted with a snowball from Silver, and smiled as she fell backward.
Next time, she would win Snips and Snails to her side and get those two out of the way, betraying the colts at the right moment.
“Alright, I’ve gathered you here because I have something to tell you.” Sweetie had Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight standing behind her as she faced her friends. All gulped, but stood strong. Sweetie glanced toward the three adults behind her, and they nodded.
“I am stuck in a time loop. That’s how I knew how to get Scootaloo and Apple Bloom’s Marks. These three behind me will vouch for me if you don’t believe me. I can even get Princess Luna and Celestia if that is still not enough proof.” Sweetie looked at the skeptical faces, and all turned to Applejack.
“She’s tellin the truth, Ah can vouch.” Applejack was not a liar, so they shared a glance and sighed.
“Why are you telling us this? And why today?” Diamond spoke first, and Sweetie bit her lip.
“Well, I want to get something to prove I am looping from each of you. And today is the last day so…” Sweetie trailed off, and the others paused.
“Well, I guess we can do that. I mean if tomorrow comes we can always get you back for it.” Silver put a hoof to her chin, and Diamond nodded. The others gave them a glare, but relented quick enough.
“Snips, Snails, I already have your proof.” Sweetie held up their letters, and the two colts took it, blinking in surprise.
“Oh wow,” gasped Snails.
“We believe you.” Snips nodded, and both handed back the letters.
“Alright, so we jus’ need ta write something that only we would know?” Apple Bloom tilted her head, and Sweetie nodded, holding out paper. All four sighed, and wrote down the information as requested.
“If it were anypony but mah sis, Ah wouldn’t be doin this.” Apple Bloom held out the piece of paper, and Sweetie took it, taking the others in her magic. Putting them in her bag, she gave a relieved smile.
“Thank you, now I won’t have to handle…” Sweetie forced herself to stop talking, and shook her head rapidly. Smiling she turned toward Rarity.
“Can we have the day off?” Sweetie waited as Rarity sighed, and shrugged.
“Oh alright, but you owe me.” Rarity winked, and Sweetie giggled, running off to enjoy the final day with her friends all together.
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Hmm. Just as I finished reading the previous one. Is it bad that seeing Sweetie happy makes me afraid for her "future"?
You type fast. 0.0
A lot of copy and paste. But you still type faast.
Scootaloo was having trouble controlling her innage magic
1. Innate.
So she's found her 'safe' loop that fits most of her criteria. Too bad she won't be able to visit the concert and talk to the singer on stage, I bet they would have a musical conversation. I dunno, must be something about that that hits all the right notes with me.
Apple Bloom is two words like Rainbow Dash or Twilight Sparkle. You need to go through this chapter and make the one word two.
_____________________
innate
____________
Cheerilee
__________
Ah
_________
5397160 Applejack is one word, Applebloom is one word
this chapter must have been pretty easy to write, considering that you just copy and pasted most it.
Things to do in a time loop:
Get letter of proof from EVERY pony she encounters.
You get these chapters out fast!
5397160
No cherilee is an OC i honestly cant see why you thought that was a typo, i mean that name looks almost nothing like cheerilee at all, in fact its the most original name I've ever seen! Thats like saying rainbow dash and ranbow dash are the same person! Shame on you sir'!
So, maybe I missed something in a previous chapter, but do the other crusaders just not feel the draining effects anymore? That particular plot point feels like it was just tossed out the window.
5398027
I noticed the same thing...
5397486
No, it's not. Apple Bloom is two words. Look at any official merch and you'll see that.
5398253 That is not a good reason
5397972 nice humor
5398027 Agreed. And there's also the draining sensation pretty much everybody else is supposed to experience, due to Sweetie's death while outside.
Everybody except Twilight, of course, who cast a counter-spell after the incident on the cliffs. Unless the counter-spell was universal, and negated the draining in everyone, not just Twilight herself? I don't recall anything that would indicate this being the case in any way, however.
5397812
What do you mean?
5397972
Pony.
I like how you subtly made the draining effect less after Sweetie got stuck in that death spiral. It isn't apparant since she hasn't noticed it yet, but it makes sense. If her magic, and the draining connection with the victims, grows with every being whose soul she sucks out at the midnight, then every time her own soul gets sucked out by boring old asphyxiation, without any ponies in the room to drain, it would reverse the effect. The gains she got would be themselves drained to restore her to pristine health. Not that I would recommend she repeat that death spiral because um, yeah.
5403080
They mean that she was looping exactly as before, so he mostly copied and pasted the words
5398432
Okay then, let's just spell Twilight Sparkle as Flibbity Floob-Flobz or Rarity as Mooooooooooooooooooooooooo while we're at it.
5486061 Ok, because its fanfiction. Where everyone has a head-canon "AND IF ITS NOT MINE ITS WRONG".
Worst comment section of any chapter so far.
Don't read it
~Leonzilla
I have a bit of a problem with this story lately.
It's a little light on the detail.
You could have written what RD said to Scootaloo instead of skipping out on it, I fell that it took away from the overall story experience.
5776817 It was from loop 7ish.
5776817 That isnt a good example, a lot of stuff in this chapter was from loop 7. I happened to think it had too much detail on the repeat sections.
grammar to lazy to point it out... ok I will, " Everypony was exited" I dont think exited is a word... But I think exit is a word but I dont think it works.