• Member Since 2nd May, 2013
  • offline last seen November 13th

Enderstorm


nothing doesn't ever change, but nothing changes much


T

"If you are so eager to re-enter the physical world, Richtofen. I will grant you that wish!"

Richtofen was torn from the MPD by Maxis, and put back in a physical body. Thats not as bad as death, right? Unfortunately for Richtofen, Maxis has a cruel sense of humor. Richtofen is now stuck in an equine body known as a pony, and if thats not bad enough, these other ponies know nothing of death and violence! And they want to be friends with him! These ponies seem friendly though, maybe he can manipulate them into getting a few artifacts...


(Note: Full Maxis conversation can be found here. No, you can't play zombies with me.)

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 92 )

Interesting, looking for more.

Can you write one with Demssey and Nikoli?:pinkiehappy:

I can imagine it now.
(insert thoughts here)
:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

2894104 i might do all of them and make it "how they got off the moon"


but yes, i can imagine it too. :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

sneak peak.
My name is Twilight Sparkle!
Ugh, did I drink too much vodka?

2894107 Please write da shit.:pinkiecrazy:

'What the fuck is with all the ponies?!'
Or
'Am I in hell? *opens eyes* Huh guess not... *notices hooves* WHAT THE FUCK?!'
~Demssey

2894281 glad you like it :pinkiehappy:

Ok im on this train. Continue brother:twilightsmile:

2899962 the 115 in the toffee explains pinkies abilities!!!!

2899962 will pinkie turn into a zombie?! :(

2899992 no. 115's abilities manifest differently depending on who used it. it turned people into zombies for richtofen, it will force ponies to laugh uncontrollobly for pinkie. at least, thats how it works in my stories.

Promising! Moar

2900304 i'm working on it :twilightsmile:

2900323 Have Ivan, Dempsey and Toshi or whatever his name is in the next chapter

Comment posted by Enderstorm deleted Jan 15th, 2015

Well, I just read this because I was bored and didn't except much from a shameless self promotion; but I was wrong so terribly wrong!
but now, I must find vat damn power!

Alright sir, as a fellow writer, I'm gonna give you a few tips.

One, those little number inserts you keep inserting into your sentences? Don't do that. It breaks the flow of the reader and is very confusing. For the ones you placed after Mane Six's names, try actually putting them in there; a little more detail never hurts, and shouldn't be put as footnotes at the bottom of the chapter.

Second, don't put character dialogue in the same paragraph, no exceptions. I constantly get confused on who's talking more than once. Put them in their own separate paragraphs, or part of the next paragraph if no dialogue is present and fits in it.

I hope that helps, and about that cover image; you should change it to something more Call of Duty-ish. Like you've said, that Pony Creator image turns heads away from this otherwise great story.

2906323

those little number inserts you keep inserting into your sentences? Don't do that. It breaks the flow of the reader and is very confusing. For the ones you placed after Mane Six's names, try actually putting them in there; a little more detail never hurts, and shouldn't be put as footnotes at the bottom of the chapter.

i might change that tomorrow. it's 1:30 am here. :twilightsheepish:

when can we expect the next chapter?

2906442 in a few days, maybe tomorrow if i wake up before lunch.

just finished my new story. I'll start writing the next chapter now.

Very interesting. Richie's gonna have a fun time here

Hey Richtofen.

'Vhat?!'

Pinkie gunna blow your mind.

'Ah za Ray Gun.... GIVE IT TO ME!!!'

i'll give you a little spoiler.

Richtofen trains his magic with Twilight. It dosen't go well.

Richtofen is going to go insane. I mean...more insane than before.

ZER VILL BE BLOOD!

Comment posted by Enderstorm deleted Jul 25th, 2013

I'm guessing Richthofen showed twilight his memories?

2933224 yeah. there was alot of violence, and twilight (being a pony) couldn't take it.

As Heavy from TF2 would say about Richtofen's memories, "SO MUCH BLOOD!"

Two problems here. Suddenly the olive pony was lifted up in a magenta glow out of the crater, and in front of a purple unicorn with a look of childish glee on her face. "Who are you? What's your name? Oh cool! You're a unicorn! How much spells do you know? What's your cutie mark mean?" Twilight started bombarding him with questions before getting an orange hoof in her mouth. "Twi, why don't ya let 'im explain before you start askin' questions?"

First, when there's new dialogue, you start a new paragraph, and second, it's not "how much spells do you know", it's "how many spells do you know". Twilight would never use grammar improperly like that. Just thought I'd let you know right there.

#GrammarFreakAllTheWayHere'sABigMac :eeyup:

You've got me interested, Ender. Please, continue... *I turn around, walk away, then begin rubbing my hands together in a sinister way* "Yes... and when you do continue, I'll be there to read it! The perfect plan!" *I laugh maniacally and regain my composure, coughing* 'Scuse me. Very unbecoming of me. :c

Nice story like idea but it needs something oh yeah gamer luna yeah remember me from a world of mining and respounded prick:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:with this face :ajbemused:not my fault I was on my phone but I forgive you since made this awesome story and group bye :pinkiecrazy:

Have you thought about making the same story but with maxis losing to richtofen?

3036057 yeah. this one was a bit easier to write though.

3038192 yea richtofen is easier to write than maxis,besides richtofen is hilarious.

ahhhhhh shit they are screwed

Oh man, I have to read this

3077062 shit it's Samantha fuck shits gonna go down

Samantha!? :pinkiehappy: ~squee

30801093077527
all i can say is...
samantha does some shit. that she really shouldn't do.

3081280 imma guess this this is gong to happen

Sam/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////_____________________________________________:trollestia________________

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