• Member Since 20th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 10th, 2020

Awesomedude17


Just some hidden brony with a s***load of ideas. Also available for assassinations (Not really, Deadpool does that.)

T

Alright... huh, who are you people?
Oh, you're here to listen to mien stories?
Don't you mean, our stories?
Quiet Samuel, I am in control right now. Okay, so I must tell you, zombie fighting isn't as fun as I zought it vould be.
Yeah, no ****.
Now now, zis is ze description, ve can't have svearing now, can ve? Anyvay, I need to get out of zis realm, Samuel is in too much danger here, und, by extension, me! I have built a teleporter out of spare parts to take us to a new universe zat is hopefully, zombie free, hopefully. Vish us luck.
Oh dear, this can't end well.

*This not to be taken seriously, I really just pulled this out of my ass. Minimal effort really.*

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 28 )

Really, the most effort I put in was just grammar and spelling-wise. Details were minimal, and I just had to use the anthro tag. This is not to my usual standards, but frankly, I don't care.

As for plot, fuck it, I'll just wing it.

Ohhh Zombies reference! With Samuel and everything high five my friend!

I see potential. But you should really rewrite this chapter because it's almost impossible to understand. First of all be descriptive. I mean you didn't tell us anything about the environment they were in or actions the characters preformed. Seriously consider that it will greatly improve the story.

Second, tell me who speaking! Seriously you don't ever once say who is speaking and it gets confusing after a while. (Ex: "Hello," said Sam.) Even just adding 'said Whoever' will make your story easier to understand.

Third, could you please go back and edit the text, where Sam and Richtofen are mentally communicating, by putting them in italics. Because it's impossible to tell when they are talking from when they are narrating.

The last thing I want to do is make you think I'm hating on your story. I'm not. I'm simply speaking one writer to another in an attempt to help you improve your story. I understand it's not the your best work and that your 'winging it' but please at least make it easier to understand. Thank you for your consideration.

Best of luck, Industrial Stapler

2987596
I completely agree.

I want to see how this goes...

I'm I the only one thinking of this now...?
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5mUV0bcOxq4
Just copy and paste it...

2987596 Two words.
Crack Fic.
'Nuff said.

Second, first person fic.

Yes, this story is awesome!!! Also, Marlton Johnson (the nerd) is a sniper! Woooh!!! :pinkiehappy:

3131472 Well, his favorite weapon is the DSR-40.

3131479 Yea, anyways. Keep the story going, its Really Good.

3133612 Sure. This is troll fic though. So I just say fuck it, I do what I want.

Is it odd that I love every story this guy writes? No? Ok.

When they walk outside, Zombies Everywhere with Nikolai, Tank, Takeo, and Samantha fighting them with wonder weapons!!!

richtofen was always my favorite character, then came nikolai. This is pretty damn funny especially when richtofen starts laughing like a manic.( ahhhh... i remeber that laugh from WoW, and black ops 1, and origins dosen't count due to the fact he was more sane)

Origins ending=
TREYARCH WAT R U DOING

TREYARCH STAHP

3229579 i heard a rumor that origins didn't really exist it was a made up reality kinda like mob of the dead

I'm from Germany and yea that's kinda what I sound like
Oh yea origins ending sucked

3279625 Yeah. There were worse endings though. This ending kinda made it so that it will never get a revival.

Fuck us!

Oh well, at least Cave Johnson gives us hope.

Multiple colours make my eyes hurt to the point where it looks 3D. It actually looks pretty cool.

*This not to be taken seriously, I really just pulled this out of my ass. Minimal effort really.*

Vhell zhen, zere better be no shit shtainz. Mr. Shtumpy vould not like zat.

Erm... oh look, ve must get ze story moving now. Let's go~.

He knows and 4t h wall bang

Login or register to comment