Twilight felt the room instantly tense. The pink pony opposite her shuddered slightly, and gulped. She had a bad feeling about where this was going...
"Twilight, I'm going to warn you now. This next part, why I exist, it's not a happy story like Surprise's. I was a shield, someone who could stay strong and help the others through dark times. I...I was born from a need to end suffering." Pinkamena looked Twilight in the eye as she warned her. Twilight gulped. She didn't like the way Pinkamena's voice shook. It spoke of old scars, and a hidden anger. But she was in too deep to stop now. She needed to know the rest of this story.
"Please, if you can, go on." she said. "I want to understand."
Pinkamena took a few more deep breaths. She hated thinking about the hospital. But right now, she had to.
"Alright. But I'm warning you, you're not going to like it...
After Surprise came into her life, Pinkie was confused for a while. Apparently, she had ended her first party so full of joy she was almost floating, and then she woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. Pretty soon, there was somepony else speaking in her head, an energetic-sounding friend that she couldn't see or touch, whose voice came out of nowhere and nopony else could hear. Her parents, at first, simply thought Pinkie had made an imaginary friend. It was a logical assumption, to be fair.
Anyway, Surprise was just as confused as Pinkie. I mean, she had literally just come into existence. I think she knew the basics of life, but she didn't have any real personal identity- she didn't know who she was, what she was, or why she was in Pinkie's head. She didn't even have a name, to start off with. Pinkie actually named her, on account of the fact that her appearance was such a big surprise.
Eventually, Surprise got restless. She wanted to get out into the world, to do things, to play games and have fun. The two had thought by now that Surprise was a pony that had somehow been trapped in Pinkie's head. They reasoned that since Surprise seemed to be a separate pony, maybe she was a baby that had been born into Pinkie's head rather than into her own body on accident. Hey, Pinkie was in single digits, she didn't know where foals came from at that point. It was a perfectly reasonable explanation- in her eyes, at least. Anyway, Pinkie wanted Surprise to experience the outside world, and so they swapped.
I think I'd better explain how that works. See, we can swap who's in control of the body, like me and Pinkie did earlier. The only restriction is that both parties involved have to want the change-over. We can't just force our way into control. So, when Pinkie and Surprise ended up swapping, they loved it. Here was Surprise's chance to play in the outside world, and Pinkie's chance to experience life from Surprise's point of view, and also teach Surprise about the world. Soon, they were swapping back and forth all the time. With swaps, it kinda looks like you're fainting for a moment. Pinkie's dad quickly noticed his daughter was nodding off all over the place, and asked her if anything was wrong. Pinkie cheerfully told him all about what was going on, of course. She didn't see any reason to keep it a secret. He thought she was playing a game at first, so to prove it, she and Surprise switched. Right in front of him.
Pinkie's parents flipped. Their daughter was suddenly claiming to be her imaginary friend, and was practically fainting all over the place. They went to the local doctor. The doctor referred them to a hospital, which was dedicated to psychiatric conditions. That's the nice way of saying asylum, by the way. They took Pinkie along, and the doctors diagnosed dissociative identity disorder. They explained that it was a severe psychological condition, and recommended immediate intensive therapy.
Pinkie spent months in there. Every day, she'd be taken from her room on the quieter wing of the hospital to a psychologist's office. The guy wasn't good with children. On the very first day, he told her that Surprise shouldn't exist, that she was wrong and that they needed to get rid of her. As you can guess, Pinkie didn't take that well. To her, he was saying that the doctors wanted to kill Surprise. I suppose, in a way, that's true. They sat Pinkie down on a sofa, and asked her to tell them about Surprise. So that they could help Pinkie to get rid of her. Pinkie didn't co-operate. She was certain that they were all evil.
I think Pinkie...confused the doctors. To the best of their knowledge, split personalities were often unaware of each other. The different personalities could only remember what they experienced first hand, and often had very poor memories. Pinkie, on the other hand, had said right at the start that she could sit down in her mind and watch what was going on, like there was a big window to the outside world hanging in the sky. She and Surprise could swap at will, and communicate with each other, things both unheard of in similar cases. They knew exactly what had happened whilst the other was in charge of the body. Eventually, they took brain scans, and discovered Pinkie's wacky wiring. That really got them confused. It could explain some of what was going on, but at the same time raised more questions about how her brain actually functioned. I'm just glad that they didn't notice the pinkie sense. Who knows what they would've made of it.
Pinkie's brain apparently has more connections than normal. Lots more. All those extra cross-over points between the different parts somehow let me and Surprise have more balanced personalities than alternate personalities in normal brains. Don't ask me how that works, even the doctors were baffled by it. Maybe we have better access to the parts of the brain responsible for emotions? Alternate personalities generally display only one or two emotions, you see, often to extremes, but Surprise and I differ from that. For example, Surprise is always cheery and hyper, sure, but never to any harmful extent, and she is perfectly capable of more negative emotions as well.
The doctor's attempts to treat Pinkie and put her mind back in one piece varied in method, and none of them worked. Any medication they gave her, she spat it out. Visits to the shrink had gone out the window before the end of day one. They even tried sedating her when Surprise was in charge at one point. Pretty soon, Surprise wasn't swapping with Pinkie any more, because when she was in charge all the doctors did was try to get her back into Pinkie's head. But Surprise was still talking to Pinkie. And Pinkie was talking back.
The doctor's constant attempts at treatment were turning Pinkie's life into a daily nightmare. She hated being there, and what they were doing. She refused to get along with them- not like her at all. The doctors were tearing their hair out over her, and she was just miserable over it all. The doctors didn't know what to do with her, and I think they were ready to throw in the towel and send her home, as Surprise clearly wasn't malignant.
I wish they had.
There was this one unicorn stallion that was...obsessed with Pinkie's case. She never knew his name. He wanted to experiment on her mind, test what it's limits were, and how Surprise affected that. He was constantly testing her IQ, her mental capacity, putting her through every psychological test and examination there is. When they discovered how unique Pinkie's brain was, he only got worse.
Brain monitoring suddenly became common with him. Pinkie spent a lot of time hooked up to one analysis machine or another. A few times, he forced her to switch with Surprise and measured how the brain reacted...All the time, he was coming up with more and more outlandish treatment methods. Hypnosis didn't work. There were forcibly-given injections of various drugs. After a while, just when the doctors were starting to think about sending Pinkie home, he even tried electroconvulsive therapy- a standard procedure, apparently. Although I doubt patients are usually given it in the dead of night, and threatened to not say a word about it. The patient is typically administered with anaesthetic and muscle relaxant, and given an electric shock to induce seizures. It's meant to provide relief from several psychiatric conditions, although not usually personality disorders. It's not recommended for foals. I'm not sure if he was even trying to cure Pinkie at that point.
Eventually, it all reached a boiling point. One night, he decided to try it without the anaesthetic and relaxants. We still don't know why. It only happened the one time, but... well, lightning still scares Pinkie to this day. She's gotten better, but I think she'll always be reminded of that day when there's a thunderstorm. She passed out in agony, still wired up to the machine and screaming out for him to stop. We found out later that he didn't. Not for another five whole minutes.
That's where I came from. She needed somepony to stop the pain. She needed a protector, somepony who could tell her that it was alright and that everything was going to be ok. Somepony that could take charge in difficult times. The morning after that sick monster electrocuted her, I was the one who woke up. He'd taken us back to our room whilst she was out. Pinkie had... well, disappeared. I'm not sure where she went, I think it was kind of like the mind equivalent of hibernation. She just couldn't cope anymore. Surprise was still around, but she hardly spoke.
I knew what the situation was, Pinkie had somehow passed that information along. So, the very first thing I did was leave our bedroom, go down to the psychologist's office at the end of the corridor, bang on the door, and tell the pony who answered exactly what had happened the night before. The guy was in prison so fast he probably left scorch marks on the floor. The doctors weren't stupid, they knew that I wasn't Pinkie. But after that, they didn't try anything else as a cure. We tried coaxing her out, but she just didn't want to. They thought that she might come back if she was back home, so after observing me long enough to make sure that I wasn't a danger to anyone, they discharged me, on the condition that I went for regular check-ups to see if Pinkie was resurfacing.
Her parents didn't know what to make of me at first. They had been told what I was medically speaking, of course, but they weren't really sure who I was, if you know what I mean. So, they just treated me like they did Pinkie. 'Wake up Pinkamena! Time for school!' they called in the mornings. I didn't have any other name to go by, so Pinkamena became my name. Yes, I know it's Pinkie's as well, but she prefers the shortened version.
Eventually, about two months after being discharged, I had to go to court to testify against the doctor. He was denying everything, of course, but once he realised that I was testifying against him he pleaded guilty, insanely hoping for a shortened sentence. The judge gave him an extended one, without parole. While I was watching him being dragged away, I heard Pinkie say 'Thank you'. And just like that, after a whole two months of me being on my own, she was back.
Pinkie took a while to get adjusted to the outside world again. She wasn't as happy as she is now, but she was getting better by the day. Surprise was starting to come out of her shell too. This time around, her parents didn't say anything if they heard her talking to us. She was happy, and that's all they cared about. She really cheered up and got back to normal the next time she threw a party- I think that might have been the one Cheese Sandwich went to. The years passed, and when she grew up, she moved to Ponyville. By then, we had decided to keep Surprise and I a secret. We didn't want to risk being taken to another hospital. Who knows what state she'd be in before ponies who knew the situation got her out.
S-so that's all there is to it, really. The whole story. Pinkie's fine, she really is. If she wasn't, she'd get help. She's not stupid. You've got to believe me. I- Oh...Oh no..."
Twilight was crying. Her eyes were wide with shock and a tinge of horror, and her entire body was shaking. Pinkamena had been too caught up in her tale- how long had Twilight been like this? Blinking back her own tears, she quickly drew the sobbing alicorn into a close hug. "It's ok. She's fine now. We're all fine." She said soothingly.
"Why...why did he...how could he...to a foal...." Twilight was soaking Pinkamena's shoulder in tears. In her head, Pinkie and Surprise were also crying, although they weren't nearly so badly affected. Just old, although rather painful, memories returning for a short while. They'd soon be gone.
They stayed that way for a while. How long exactly, neither could tell. Eventually, Twilight pulled back from Pinkamena, still sniffling slightly.
"I...I...I can see why you three don't want treatment. And I can see that you don't need it either. I'm sure the other doctors weren't so irresponsible as to let you go when you really needed to stay. Just...If anything starts going wrong up there, you tell me right away.You hear me, Pinkie?"
Pinkamena smiled and nodded, as Pinkie gave an affirmative. "She hears you. Surprise too. In fact..." She closed her eyes. Realising what this meant, Twilight drew closer, curiosity and a hint of fascination clear on her face.
"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!" Out of nowhere, Surprise rammed into Twilight, catching her off-guard and gripping her in a crushing hug. Her mane, meanwhile, sprang back into the familiar poofy look with an audible 'Sproing!'.
"P-Pinkie.." she gasped "Can't breathe..."
"Oops! Sorry!" giggled Surprise, quickly releasing her. "But I'm not Pinkie, silly!"
Twilight's eyes were almost like saucers. "Then you must be...Surprise?"
"Yup!" nodded Surprise.
"Wow!" gasped Twilight, tears completely forgotten. "What does it feel like, switching? And does the time taken differ? Or is it constant? Does it depend on who's swapping?" she gushed out a torrent of questions, clearly in curious scientist mode.
Surprise thought for a moment. "I dunno!" she shrugged, smiling.
Twilight smiled. The relaxed, light-hearted mood was returning. "Oh well. Maybe Pinkamena or Pinkie will be able to answer me later?"
"Probably!"
"Ok! So...Would you like to tell me about yourself, Surprise? I think I know Pinkamena a little now, but I don't know you at all."
"Oh-Ok! My name's Surprise- oh, but you already knew that...oh well! Introduction time! I'm Surprise! It's nice to meet you, Twilight!" said Surprise brightly. She shook Twilight's hoof vigorously, to the point where Twilight's entire body was being shook, reminiscent of her first meeting with Applejack.
Surprise, please don't shake Twilight so much... warned Pinkamena. She would have added a (most likely unfunny) joke about Twilight's hoof falling off or something, if it weren't for the fact that it might have resulted in Surprise taping Twilight's body-parts together.
"Oops- sorry! Are you alright, Twilight?" asked Surprise apologetically, stopping her rather one-sided hoof-shake.
"I'm ok..." said a slightly dizzy Twilight, slowly recovering from the impromptu shaking. She shook her head slightly to clear it.
"Great!" cheered Surprise, jumping in delight. "Oh oh oh! Do you want to play a game?"
"A game?" asked Twilight, her head tilting to one side. "What kind of game?"
"Truth or dare! We were playing it before, but then you started knocking and kinda interrupted us..."
"Here we go again..." groaned Pinkamena.
"Oh, don't be such a grumpy-pants, Pinkamena. What's wrong with playing truth or dare for a while?"
"Nothing, it's just...well, this is us we're talking about. Playing a game with three ponies in one body? Twilight's going to get very confused, an-"
"Sure!" smiled Twilight, oblivious to the internal conversation she had interrupted. "I'd love to. The truth questions will be a great opportunity to get to know you and Pinkamena! Is that ok with Pinkie and Pinkamena, Surprise?" Twilight was clearly coming to grips with the situation very quickly.
"Fine with me!" beamed Pinkie
...Fine. Let's not take too long, though. We're meant to be moving that cake, remember, not playing games all day!"
Wow, this is a fantastic story!! Very creative and well-written. Looking forward to the next chapter
They're going to need a four-sided spinner.
I hope 'Dr.' Asshole makes a come back and tries to do something. Then he gets shitstomped by 5 mares out behind Sugarcube corner with baseball bats
If Pinkamena has a crush on Twilight, and Pinkie and Surprise don't, how would that work? Logistically, I mean? Assuming they get together, that is.
For some reason I'm remembering a certain scene in Feeling Pinkie Keen... was wondering if that would be explored in this chapter based on this context.
Perhaps next?
Wow , this "doctor" was messed up.
I wonder if Pinkie's parents blamed themselves for what happened when she returned .
Also , Surprise caused my brain to think about nonsense. . "So , if Pinkie has 2 ponies inside her head , does the mane 6 become the mane 8 ... which kind of sound like maneigh ... surprise horse pun ! "
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That would be difficult , if not impossible.
I mean , can you imagine this kind of thing taking place without hurting anyone :
"Pinkie , you are a great friend and all that but could you switch please ? I kind of want to be with my marefriend now." Not to mention the more intimate part of the relationship , these part would be awkward at best for the other two.
This was a really great chapter. Pinkamena's backstory was actually really great. You didn't make the doctors actual antogonists, just ponies who were doing their jobs, but the way that you later introduced a doctor who was worse than the others was well handled. since he has a bit of an aire of mystery around him, I'm guessing he's going to make another appearance, but I don't see how that would work.
There are a lot of ways this story could go from here and I'm eager for this scene in Pinkie's room to end so I can see not only how Surprise and Pinkamena affect Pinkie on a daily basis, but also how Twilight will adapt to this revelation. I'm sure she'll handle it well, but next time she sees PInkie, I'll bet she has to stop for a moment to wonder how to refer to Pinkie from now on (i.e. Twilight entered sugarcube corner. "Hi-" Twilight stopped, unsure of herself, "Pinkie...?"). I'm sure that Twilight will also eventually insist that Pinkie tell the rest of their friends, assumably after becoming comfortable with Pinkamena and Surprise herself.
3953949 Unless they magic her up a body of her own, which is a potential option. And one for Surprise too, just to spread the joy around.
Still in love with this story, still love your writing...
Stay awesome, and don't let us wait too long.
I wanted to say something so you know I appreciate the story, but I didn't know what to say...
So, I said that.
This story is very enjoyable. The first chapter could have done with some proof reading, but the quality of the story makes up for any errors. Keep writing.
kay, definitely interesting................ i really want to know what happens next.
personally i am half presuming someon else finds out............ someone pinkie will not be able to convince that having three ponies in one head can be a healthy thing.
hell i would even suspect some of her friedsn........... no i know both rariyy and applejack would be unwilling to listen. rainbow dash is adaptable, fluttershy is understanding, but rarity and applejack would have concern completely flood out pinkie's pleads.
This is now my favourite story of all time. It's never been done before as far as I know, and the writing is phenomenal. Keep going!
Wow. I felt so bad for Pinkie Pie. Pinkamena being created as a coping mechanism. Question I have to ask. Are the rest of Pinkie's friends going to meet Pinkamena and Surprise?
This story is not intriguing anymore, now it's down right addictive.
I am finding Pinkie rather relatable.
Keep up the quality, drebom.
Pinkie and Pinkamena... I can relate to that, right down to how she came to be (though obviously under different circumstances)... Kittamaru is my... well, I think of him as my defender, and he has kept me safe on several occasions, not just from outside forces but sometimes from myself. My close friends have learned to tell when he is present and they know something is up... but it is strange how parallel that is.
Pinkamina being a coping mechanism; I knew it
WE MUST EXTERMINATE THE DOCTOR! Sorry had to do that joke. This is a good story
I love this story so much! Pinkamena as an alternate "protector" personality is especially refreshing, since the whole "Pinkamena's a psycho" angle has been done to death (and is exceptionally creepy, too). I loved the backstories, too -- Surprise was literally just a happy surprise, and Pinkamena was the strong one that emerged during hard times. Now that's how you write a story! (inner voice: "Yeah, that is how she wrote the story, silly!")
Wow, this actually... makes sense. Like, too much sense.
This could totally be a canon explanation for Pinkie's... Pinkie-ness
I love your writing style, keep those chapters coming!
3953790 Baseball bats? I'm hoping Twilight uses a tree.
Otherwise, great story, and I hope to hear more from you soon.
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When you're Twilight Motherbucker Sparkle, what's the difference?
4009499 I know there's a reference in there, I just can't figure out what it's from.
This i like. This I like very much.
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Hard Reset?
Simply amazing Darling
Get out! God your mind can never be your own. Good story keep it up
4032570 Probably. I love that series.
another re-read! I dont think you realize how much I love this story. Click on my name, on my profile and I put this story as #1 on my 5 top favourites. I put a little review too. Update soon!
I thought she was more hyper?
4104762 Oops. I'd better fix that...
4104272 Wow- Thank you so much! Chapter four should be along soon!
Reread and what do I find?
That I this book from the hell that spawned my OC ,to heaven, and back!
4105439 YOU MUST GIVE ME MORE!!! SATISFY PLEASE!!!
I like how Pinkamena is portrayed as a strong protective personality in stead of the blood thirsty sociopath that is usually Pinkamena Diane Pie. Can't wait for more
the "thank you" made my heart explode, it was so sweet that pinkie knew she needed someone to protect her and she let pinkamina do it
I'm just glad that they didn't notice pinkie sense
1. I'm just glad that they didn't notice the Pinkie Sense.
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On behalf of my inner fanboy, thank you for making that comparison.
Oh look, someone who's actually factual about electroconvulsive therapy and knows what the fuck (s)he's talking about!
People like you are...
... a Rarity.
Jokes aside, thank you for not badmouthing or spreading wrong information about an actual good procedure. I liked the subtle critique about the pathologization of psychiatric patients' identities... not sure if you were particularly aiming for it or just trying to paint the doctor in a bad image, but it worked. Although... D.I.D. really is a disease and it needs to be cured, since Pinkie-like cases never occur; there's always a deficit somewhere. However, since we're talking about make-believe here, do carry on.
4599007 You son of a bitch.
This is an incredible concept, and a wonderful dive into psychological analytics. You do a wonderful job of keeping Surprise, Pinkie, and Pinkemena separate from eachother while still keeping them connected, and it goes far in explaining a certain episode in the show.
Well done, I can't wait to finish it.
This song fits this very well, not perfectly, but very well.
welp 1st, Fu*k that Doctor
2nd, hope he drops the soap
3rd, when he does someone shoves a lightning rod up his ass (no lube)
4th, stick im in the chair and fry the sun of a bitch
4599007 Yeah. If its truly DID then it is usually caused by a mental imbalance of chemicals or a traumatic incident. Also it seems more like Surprise is more of a "headmate" kind of thing whereas Pinkamena is almost certainly DID.
Then again I dont have a degree so take my words with a grain of salt.
Also Ponies probably have different brains then us.
But yeah still Its really awkward reading these kinds of fics. It sounds like its unhealthy though, and its culturally (according to what i can tell, otherwise she wouldnt have gone to the hospital), its negatively affecting her life. So it sounds like it is a mental illness that should be treated. Regardless of whether they are not malignant. As cases of DID that I have read, heard, been involved with, the extra personalities are usually either a perceived split of personality and not really their, or an actually split which is indicative of a severe split in the psyche.
So, I confess that when you first started describing the hospital I kind of rolled my eyes and braced for the usual cliche storm--you know, evil doctors, thuggish orderlies, lobotomies being suggested lightly, that kind of thing. Imagine my happiness when you took things in a much more believable and interesting direction. I especially like the bit about electroshock, and how it does have a place in the world outside of psychology-themed horror stories. I like it when cliches are defied like that, and I especially enjoy how we don't get the usual "but they didn't believe me and he's still out there while I pretend to take my meds" bullshit that most stories would fall into. The other doctors also show a refreshing amount of character by deciding to confirm that Pinkamena can be safely sent home and then doing exactly that, because it helps the reader believe that these are medical professionals that honestly want to help their patients. It shows a good understanding of that on your part to have them recognize that the best they can do for the patient in question is accept that they can't do anything for her and send her someplace where she might recover. This is how you earn an upvote.
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In all fairness Pinkie is mentioned to have a really unusual brain structure, so the normal rules don't apply to her (like how it's observed that she and Surprise shouldn't be able to switch at-will, know the other exists, or be in direct communication). As for the bit about how it effects her life, she seems to value her headmates* quite a bit and would be devastated by their loss. Given that they appear to (sort of) have minds of their own it would actually be somewhat comparable to murder--Pinkamena and Surprise have their own thoughts and feelings, independent of what Pinkie is thinking and feeling.
*That's actually a good word for it, since the three seem to be separate entities instead of alternates.
I lov u.
I'm not a psychiatric dood, but I'm pretty sure (92.6%) that this isn't how DID works.
Okay, wow, you totally did your research. Bless bless bless you to pieces.
Pinkie's D.I.D. may not be textbook perfect, but I know that you purposefully handled it that way, and with taste. So many people treat this disorder like its a joke. More than a few series' I like were ruined by bringing in a character with a poorly thought out mental disorder. The way you handled her hospitalization was also wonderful.
I know this kind of thing has been said before, but this kind of thing is a big pet peeve to me.
4845564 he explained it and yeah it sorta in some AND I MEAN SOME ways does
Pinkie pie: Hey This seem weird...
Me: Whys that pinkie?
Pinkimena: Probabky cause this guy know so much about us.
Surprise: True...
Me: Okaaaay. Anyway good chapter. But now I wanna murder somepony...