> Pinkie Personalities
>  by Drebom
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Truth Or Dare
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pinkie Pie bounced cheerfully around her latest creation, readying it for transport. Twilight was coming over to Sugarcube Corner later in order to to pick up the cake for Fluttershy's pet bunny's birthday, which was in a few days time. Fluttershy would, of course, have picked up the order herself, but apparently there was a flu going round the local bird flocks, turning her cottage into the avian equivalent of an understaffed GP surgery at peak hours. Not somewhere you could reliably put a 1.5 meter tall cake and be sure it wouldn't get ruined. Because of this, a very apologetic Fluttershy had requested that Twilight take care of the cake for her. Rarity would have taken it in gladly, but she was hesitant due to the large capacity for mess, and a bit worried about what the frosting may do to her dresses. Applejack had offered, but then realised the temptation may be too much for her younger sister and her friends. Rainbow had also offered to take the cake, but had awkwardly retracted her offer after staring slack-jawed at the cake with longing eyes and a rumbling stomach for half a minute. The cake was taking up an awkward amount of room at the bakery, and so Fluttershy had turned to Twilight, who was happy to help. 

It was a huge cake, on par with the MMM, and to Angel it would seem like a mountain of pure deliciousness; it was stuffed full of fresh carrots, topped with cream and cherries, and had been sized so that the entirety of Fluttershy's menagerie, as well as her closest friends, would be able to have a slice. The ingredients had been a little hard to handle, as it was soon realised that certain animals in Fluttershy's care would have adverse reactions to some of the regular ingredients in a cake. However, Pinkie had been able to work around these difficulties, overcoming them in order to create a delicious, amazing confectionery delight, whose only health warning was that it contained nuts.

"I really hope Angel likes this" Pinkie announced in the otherwise empty room "I know that he can be reeeaaallly fussy sometimes!"

Mr Cake was manning the till, and Mrs Cake was attending the ovens in the room next door. No customers were allowed in the storage area unless picking up special orders, and Twilight was the only one who fit that category. And as Twilight was expected in a few hours time, Pinkie was the only pony in the room, a state of affairs that would probably last for some time. Therefore, the fact that somepony then answered Pinkie could come as a bit of a- 

"Surprise!" Came the giggly voice. Pinkie jumped slightly, quite a feat since she was already mid bounce, but soon recovered and smiled warmly.

"Hiya Surprise! What do you think of Angel's cake? It took really long to make you know! Think he'll like it?"

 "I'm sure! And course I know! I suggested the secret cherries in the middle, remember?"

Pinkie paused, thinking for a moment. "Oh yeah! And Pinkamena came up with those special seed-balls for the birds, right? You know, the ones on top?"

"I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything about dunking them in... what is that, treacle? Can birds even eat treacle?" 

"I dunno!"

"Seriously!?"  Pinkie could almost feel Pinkamena face-hoofing.

"Hey, don't worry! I made sure that there are plenty of those balls with just lard in... although why birds would want to eat lard I don't know. I mean it's just really fatty stuff isn't it? And isn't a lotta fat kinda bad for you? So isn't it not a good idea to put out a lot of lardy seed-balls? But on the other hand I've seen Fluttershy make them, and I know she wouldn't do anything to-"

"Pinkie, you're rambling. Stop it. What if somebody came in?" Pinkie scratched the back of her head in embarrassment. 

"Hehe. Sorry! Oh, but you don't need to worry about anyone coming in for at LEAST a few hours. The shop's fully stocked, and Twilight won't be coming over to pick up this beauty -"  She gestured proudly to the huge cake on the wooden table. "- for at least an hour and a half!"

The cake was ready to be boxed by now. The white packaging was lying in its net form, flat on the worktop, with the cake perfectly positioned in the centre. As she deftly folded up the sides with the ease of years-worth of practise, Pinkie lapsed into near-silence as she focussed on the task at hand, taking care not to knock the cake. Humming happily, she slotted the lid on top and tied on a nice big red ribbon going length-ways around the box, ending with a bow on top. As she stood back and the three of them admired their handiwork, Surprise spoke up again.

"Hey, wanna play a game? You said Twilight isn't gonna be over till later, so..."

"Ooohh! Good idea, Surprise! What do you think, Pinkamena?"

Pinkamena thought about it for a moment. She wasn't a big fan of games, in all honesty, but on the other hand Pinkie and Surprise were. And she knew that whatever it was Surprise had planned, it would probably be better with three ponies. Not to mention the fact that it would make Pinkie happy, whereas a refusal may have a negative effect on the mood. 

"Sure, why not. I got nothing better to do."  





Princess Twilight of Equestria was not a happy pony. She was meant to be picking up that cake for Fluttershy from Sugarcube Corner, but she couldn't find that item on her daily check-list. Her schedule was wrong! And if her schedule was wrong, then she might forget to do the things that were missing off the schedule- because if one thing was missing, why not others? And that meant she might end up not doing things that others were relying on her doing! But she couldn't remember anything else that she had to do today that wasn't on the list, so maybe she didn't need to do anything, but then again what if she'd already forgot!?!?!

Spike watched exasperated as Twilight worked herself into a frenzy. He waited until she took a breath, and then broke into her panicked monologue.

"TWILIGHT!"

Her train of thought interrupted, Twilight froze at Spike's yell, before realising that A: She'd been talking out loud and B: She was in the middle of a mild panic attack.  Eventually, she regained the use of her tongue and apologised. 

"Oh...er...sorry Spike" she said awkwardly, rather embarrassed.

"Have you calmed down now?" replied Spike, concerned. Twilight took a couple of long, deep breaths before nodding an affirmative. 

"Good." Spike sighed in relief, and held up a small roll of parchment. "You'll need this."

Twilight lifted the scroll across the room to her via telekinesis, her familiar purple magic enveloping it. "What's this?" she asked, unrolling it.

"Today's check-list."

Twilight's brain took a few moments to register Spike's deadpan response. Her head snapped up, eyes wide. 

"What?" she gasped, "B-but..."  Her eyes darted across to her desk, where the check-list she had believed to correspond to that day's chores and events laid. It was, Spike noticed, slightly crumpled from Twilight's earlier agitation as she roughly handled the page, scanning the words again and again."I thought..."

Spike sighed. "Twilight, that's TOMMOROW'S check-list. I told you this would happen!" Twilight looked down, chastised. Spike was right, of course. When she had started writing her daily check-lists several days in advance, he had immediately picked up on how easy it would be to mix them up, possibly triggering one of her panic attacks. But, she had ignored his warnings, sure that she would be able to keep them organised. Thing is, daily check-lists meant daily chores, and so the similarities had made it hard to differ between them.

Twilight scanned the scroll's contents quickly. Sure enough, the last item on the list was 'Pick up cake for Fluttershy from Sugarcube Corner'. It looked like that was the only item out of the ordinary- all the rest were just the usual chores. 

"Sorry Spike." Twilight said, sadly. "I guess I need to learn to listen to you more often..." Seeing his sister/parental figure edging towards tears, Spike moved to intercept the bad mood with a strong hug.  

"It's ok, Twilight. Just be more careful next time, alright?

Twilight giggled and smiled, her sadness banished as she nuzzled Spike. "Sure."





 "Truth or dare? How do you expect us to play truth or dare?" Pinkamena's voice was full of disbelief.

 "Well, why not?"

"Yeah, it seems like a great idea to me, Pinkamena. What's wrong?" Pinkie asked out loud, sitting on the edge of her bed. The three of them had elected to relocate to Pinkie's bedroom after securing Angel's cake in its box, deciding that it would be better to play games in a place filled with equipment for any kind of activity. However, upon hearing Surprise's suggestion, Pinkamena had been less than enthusiastic for the choice of game.

 "Well, first off, how do you choose who get's truth-or-dared?"

"Umm...Oh! When it's your turn, you spin...the...bottle..." You could almost here the pieces slotting into place as Surprise realised the predicament. Namely, the fact that they were all in the same body, and so couldn't really choose 'victims' in the normal way.

Pinkie, however, merely giggled. "No need to worry, Surprise! I've got just the thing!" She jumped up and skipped over to her cupboard, throwing the door open and rummaging enthusiastically. Before long, all manner of miscellaneous objects were flying over her shoulder as she worked through the mass of books, board games, balloon packs and other such things. Eventually, her questing hooves uncovered her quarry. "A-ha! Found it!" she sang in triumph. 'It' turned out to be a home-made cardboard spinner, like the sort that comes with a game of twister. It was split into three equal coloured segments, each with a name neatly printed inside. The pink section, predictably, contained the name 'Pinkie'. Surprise's name was housed in the third coloured a bright yellow, and the final, bright red section bore Pinkamena's.

"Ok...Well that's one problem sorted. Second one: how do we do dares?"

"Swap control of the body?" Surprise's tone of voice was innocent, but Pinkamena couldn't believe what she was hearing.

 "Oh, ok...ARE YOU CRAZY?!? What if somepony come in here whilst you or I were in charge? You know we can't switch instantly, and I doubt we could fool Pinkie's best friends into believing we were her, me especially! And if we did switch, then it'd look like Pinkie'd fainted!" 

"Oh...umm..." Pinkie winced at Pinkamena's outburst, while Surprise tried to come up with a counter-argument. The problem was, Pinkamena was right. The three of them could switch who was in control of the body, and it was kinda like fainting, except the pony that gets up isn't technically the pony that fell down. If somepony came looking for her at the wrong moment, then they would be in quite the predicament. She knew that. Problem was, she still wanted to play, and she was sure that Pinkamena did too. Something about her voice sounded a bit forced, like she didn't want to say the words and stop the game, but knew she had to.

Determined to keep the impromptu game on track, she decided to resort to slightly drastic measures. In this case, barricading her door shut via the use of her bed, despite Pinkamena's protests. The door opened into her room, so there was no way somepony could open her door. Sure, it may worry them, but it wouldn't be as bad as seeing her black out with no explanation. She was sure that she could explain a bed, on the other hoof- maybe she could say she was building a pirate ship? It was only a precaution, anyway- she wasn't expecting anyone until later, when Twilight came, so until then they had the room all to themselves. Perfect. Having explained her reasoning to the other two, she cleared the middle of her room and set the spinner down. She span it. "Ok...Surprise! Truth or dare?

"Dare!"

"Alright...hmmm...I know! Surprise, I dare you...To stand on your head and spin around three times!!"

She closed her eyes, and felt that familiar tug in her mind. Her body tipped forward, and as she sat down beside Pinkamena, who was currently shaking her head in disbelief, she waved a greeting. Pinkamena nodded an acknowledgement, and Surprise's eyes snapped open. 

"Game on!"





"And...done!" Twilight shelved the last of the books as per the library's sorting system- one that she'd have to re-design at some point. It seemed logical, but for some reason she could never find the books she was looking for when she really needed them. The only reason she was putting it off was the inevitable re-sorting of the entire library, something neither she nor Spike was particularly looking forward to.

"You finished in there, Spike?" She called out to her assistant, who was sorting in the next room. She walked over to the doorway, and poked her head in. Spike was standing on tip-toes to slot a book into its rightful place on the shelf, with a small stack of books on his right. 

"Almost!" He called back. Twilight smiled. The library looked like it was going to be cleaned in record time. And, seeing as the only other chores were menial tasks that could wait until later, she decided that now was the perfect time to pick up that cake from Pinkie. Decision made, she informed Spike of her outing. "I'm going to pick up Fluttershy's cake from Sugarcube Corner now. Do you mind holding the fort until I get back?"

Spike waved his free hand. "Sure, get going. Don't keep Pinkie waiting!"

Twilight nodded, smiling. "Of course! Be right back!"





The bakery in question was only a short trip across town, and so Twilight took her time and greeted the occasional passer-by as she walked. Even now, several months after her coronation, there were those who felt compelled to bow down in her presence, despite her protests. One such pony, it seemed, was Colgate. This was apparent due to the fact that she was currently on her knees outside Quills and Sofas. The rather awkward situation with the town's dentist was already garnering some curious looks. It didn't help that the blue unicorn was right in front of the shop's door, having spotted Twilight just as she left the shop, therefore blocking both access and exit. 

"Er...Colgate?" Hesitantly, Twilight got the dentist's attention. "Do you think you could...well...stop bowing? There's really no need to-"

Colgate leapt to her hooves, blushing. She smiled hesitantly. "Sorry, Twilight... I forgot for a moment."

Twilight smiled back. "Oh, no need to worry." She said brightly. "It's just it's kinda awkward for me... and you were sorta blocking the door."

"Hehe...oops". Colgate scratched the back of her head in embarrassment. Twilight was still the same pony who had come to Ponyville all that time ago. Even after being a princess for months now, she was still uncomfortable with some of the formalities. Twilight just wanted to be treated normally, and so treat her normally Colgate would. The two chatted for a while, the initial awkwardness soon fading away, talking about how things were going at the library, the date for Spike's next dental check-up, and other such small talk. Eventually, the two said their farewells, and went their separate ways.

Twilight made her way across the rest of town with little incident, and soon the familiar gingerbread house came into view. She trotted up to the shop cheerfully, and stepped inside. The bell tinkled pleasantly as the door opened, and she was greeted immediately by Mr Cake, who was behind the counter. 

"Good morning, Princess Twilight! You here to pick up the cake?" he called cheerfully, looking up from the till.

"Morning, Mr Cake. Yes, I am. Do you know where Pinkie is? She was going to help me get it back to the library safely." Twilight replied, moving across the shop floor to the counter. Mr Cake thought for a moment, and smiled pleasantly.

"I think she's in her room. I don't know what she's doing up there, though- sounded like she was moving furniture around earlier!" He laughed. Twilight cocked her head to one side. 

"Moving furniture? Why would she do that?" 

"I have absolutely no idea, to be honest." He shrugged. "Maybe you could ask her for me?"

Twilight nodded. "Sure!" She ducked under the counter and headed through the doorway into the rest of the bakery. From there, she headed upstairs, and located Pinkie's door. She raised her hoof to knock, and was just bringing it down when Pinkie suddenly shouted from the other side. 
"WHA-NO! I AM NOT ANSWERING THAT!" She sounded angry. Twilight froze. Who was Pinkie talking to? There was a pause, and then Pinkie's voice emanated once more from behind the door.

"I don't care if it's the rules! I'll do a dare instead!"

It sounded like she was arguing over a game of truth or dare, but there had been no sound between Pinkie's two outbursts. It sounded like she was talking to herself in there! Increasingly worried, Twilight pressed her ear above the door, desperately trying to detect the quiet voice that was replying to Pinkie. Maybe Fluttershy? But why would Pinkie be angry at Fluttershy?

"Wha-fine. I...I have... I have a crush on somepony. There, I said it. I'm not saying who, though."

Another pause. Twilight couldn't hear anypony else in the room! She started to panic.

"Surprise, it's ok, there's no need to apologise so much... Oh, not you too, Pinkie! I'm-"

That was the last straw. Twilight banged on the door. Talking to no-one? Referring to herself in the third person? Pinkie Pie was clearly having some kind of mental breakdown in there!
"Pinkie?" she called, trying to keep her voice calm. "It's me, Twilight. Are you alright?"

"Horseapples! Switch!" came the only, confusing reply. Twilight tried the handle. It turned easily enough, but the door wouldn't open. Mr Cake's words floated through her mind. 

"Moving furniture around..." She murmured the words, and her eyes widened in realisation. She gasped. Pinkie had barricaded herself inside. This time, she hammered on the door. 

"Pinkie! Are you ok?!? Let me in!" After a few moments of slamming her hoof against the door, the sound of something heavy being pushed around on the other side reached her ears, and she breathed a small sigh of relief. Pinkie was unblocking the door. Whatever it was, though, was moving agonisingly slow. After what seemed like hours, the door swung open. Behind it stood a slightly panicked-looking Pinkie Pie, a clearly forced smile on her face.

"Hiya Twilight! You wanna see the cake? It's a really good one! There's carrots, and cream, an-" Her nervous babble was interrupted by Twilight putting her hoof up to shush her. From where she was standing, Twilight had a clear view of Pinkie's room. There was no-one else. Pinkie was on her own in there. The last scrap of hope, desperately clinging to the slim possibility that there was somepony with an incredibly quiet voice talking to Pinkie, let go and died.

"Pinkie...I heard you talking. What's wrong?" 
> Secret Discovered
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Only a few minutes before Twilight started knocking, the little party had been going full swing. Pinkie had decorated her room with streamers and balloons at some point, adding to the ones already present. Confetti littered the floor, and the game of truth or dare was still going strong. Surprise span the spinner, her breathing still a little heavy from singing the alphabet backwards twice, as she had been ordered to do by Pinkamena. It landed on Pinkamena's name, and Surprise hopped in delight. 

"Yay!" she cheered. "You ready for this, Pinkamena? This dare's gonna be a good one!" 

Pinkamena laughed. "What makes you so sure I'll choose dare?"

"Because you always do, silly!" giggled Surprise. Pinkamena paused. It was true- she was choosing 'dare' every time. Mainly because there wasn't much that Pinkie or Surprise didn't know about her- that was another problem with playing truth or dare. You tended to know a lot about ponies who were literally inseparable from you. Then again, there were things that the three kept secret from one another. Enough for the occasional 'truth' question. She smirked. Maybe it was time to change things up a little.

"Alright then! I choose truth!" she declared. 

"Oooh, sneaky! I had this great dare lined up and everything...Oh well! Switch!" Surprise didn't sound disappointed at all with not being able to do this 'great dare' of hers. Then again, disappointment wasn't really something that Surprise experienced. No, she just seemed, if anything, even more excited. The switch was smooth, taking just a few seconds to complete. 

"So, what's my question?" asked Pinkamena, curious as to what Surprise would come up with.

"I bet it's gonna be a good one!" piped up Pinkie.

Surprise thought for a few moments. Just as Pinkamena was getting restless, she spoke up again. 

"I've got it!" she announced cheerfully. "It's a real good one, so here we g- Whoah!" Surprise' question was rudely interrupted by Pinkamena's entire body going into small spasms. 

"Pinkie Sense!" she gasped.

"I know!"  Pinkie sounded worried. "And it's a doozy!"

"Oh no... That can't be good." The spasms soon dissipated, but the worry remained. The first, and last, time Pinkie Sense had predicted a doozy, it had turned out to be Twilight accepting Pinkie Sense as unexplainable. This simple-sounding event in actuality practically went against every nuance of Twilight's personality. A doozy prediction meant something big was coming.

"What do we do?" wondered Pinkamena. 

"We'll have to warn ponies! A doozy might be really bad news!" Pinkie sounded worried too. While 'doozy' didn't necessarily mean something bad was going to happen, the fact that the last one was apparently more of a curve-ball than a surprise hydra attack wasn't exactly comforting. And there was no guarantee that Pinkie was the one who was going to affected by this doozy- in fact, judging from the apparent nature of a doozy, it probably wasn't going to affect just one pony at all. That meant that there was a big event coming that was sure to turn heads at the least, probably affecting more than one pony and with a chance of it being a rather unpleasant surprise. That meant that Pinkie had some warnings to give out, like she did with twitchy tail predictions. Pinkamena stood up, reluctantly.

"I guess that's game over, then." she sighed. "Switch?"

"...Yeah..." Pinkie sounded sad. Pinkamena hated it when that happened.

However, just as they were readying swap control, Surprise spoke up, interrupting them. "Umm...Pinkamena?"

Pinkamena opened her eyes. "Yeah? What is it, Surprise?"

An image of Surprise fidgeting presented itself in her head. Whatever it was, Surprise was obviously uncomfortable with saying it- quite a feat, considering her usual lack of inhibitions.

"Do you think you could...well, um...answer my question first? It'll only take a moment." Her voice was hesitant, clearly expecting rejection. Pinkamena sighed again, a small smile creeping onto her face this time. Still the same old Surprise.

"Sure, why not. Then the game'll have finished properly, right?"

"Really?" Surprise sounded a bit more cheery now. Pinkamena nodded.

"Fire away!"

"Ok!" Surprise seemed to have bounced back well. She was almost back to her normal chipper self, though the doozy still hung overhead, like a dark cloud threatening to burst open at any moment. Surprise took a deep 'breath'. 

"Pinkamena. Do you, or do you not, have a crush?"

The smile vanished. Pinkamena's eyes grew wide. Of all the things she had to ask, why THAT?!? "WHA-NO!" she screamed out. How on earth was she supposed to respond? "I AM NOT ANSWERING THAT!" Sure, she could say yes, but then... how long until she spilled the beans? Of all the ways to confess, truth or dare? Seriously? No way. Not. A. Chance!

Surprise on the other hand, was almost enjoying the reaction. "Come on, Pinkamena!" she sang teasingly. "You have to answer! It's the ru-ules!"

"I don't care if it's the rules! I'll do a dare instead!" Pinkamena was panicking now. This was not good! Much more of this, and she might end up confessing!

Pinkie, surprisingly, was the one to take charge of the situation. "Surprise, don't be mean. It's obvious that Pinkamena wanted to keep her crush a secret. Isn't that right, Pinkamena?"

"Wha-fine." It was pretty obvious that she had a crush on somepony, just from her reaction. Pinkie had picked up on that straight away, but she was respecting her privacy, and not asking for details. Good. And it didn't seem like Surprise was going to pressure her into saying who, either. Oh, thank Celestia that Surprise didn't ask for any details!

"I...I have... I have a crush on somepony. There, I said it." she admitted, forcing the words out. And then, just to clarify her position to the other two, added: "I'm not saying who, though." She breathed out, calming down. Crisis averted. It was all going to be fine.

"I-I'm sorry, Pinkamena...I didn't realise you actually had a - I mean, it was only a bit of fun, and I, um..."

"Surprise, it's ok, there's no need to apologise so much" she said, trying to console her friend. However, Surprise wasn't the only one sorry.

"I'm sorry too, Pinkamena! It's all my fault you nearly had to tell us a secret like that. I should have said that we needed to focus on the doozy. I'm really, re-" 

"Oh, not you too, Pinkie!" interrupted Pinkamena. She shook her head, determined to reassure both of them. "I'm-"

Someone knocked urgently at the door. Pinkamena's head snapped around to stare at it, her words dying on her tongue as Twilight Sparkle's voice came from the other side. "Pinkie? It's me, Twilight. Are you alright?" Her eyes widened, and her breath started coming in short snatches. Had Twilight heard them? She gasped at the possibility. "Horseapples! Switch!" Pinkie swapped before the words had even finished leaving her mouth, and immediately ran across the room to the door, terrified.

"Oh no, what do we do, what do we do, what do we do?!?" Surprise was, unsurprisingly, panicking as well.

Pinkamena pushed her own rising terror to one side. She needed to stay calm, and help Pinkie convince Twilight that nothing was wrong. Maybe they could get through this. The door handle twisted. Twilight trying to open the door from the other side.

"Oh no..." breathed Pinkamena. The bed was still blocking the door! Sure enough, Twilight realised that the door had been barricaded. She started slamming her hoof into the door. 

"Pinkie! Are you ok?!? Let me in!" Panic could be clearly heard in her voice now. Not good. Not good at all.

"Pinkie, move that bed, quick!" Pinkamena ordered, but Pinkie was already bounding around to the side and preparing to push. The heavy bed screeched loudly across the wooden floor, moving slowly. Pinkie was breathing heavily, obviously panicking as well. 

"It's going to be ok, Pinkie! Just keep calm, and act normal when you open the door. You've done crazier things than block your door, after all. Just make something up!"

Pinkie nodded, gritting her teeth. "I'll try. Don't worry, I won't let anything bad happen. Not again!" Pinkamena and Surprise looked at each other in shock. Pinkie didn't blame herself for what happened, did she? That was crazy! She had had no way of knowing what would happen! They both opened their mouths to dissuade such feelings from Pinkie's mind, but they were interrupted by her pulling open the door, revealing a frantic purple alicorn.





Pinkie yanked the door open. She forced a smile as she saw Twilight. 

"Hiya Twilight! You wanna see the cake? It's a really good one! There's carrots, and cream, an-" She tried to act happy as usual, but her nerves were all too obvious in her voice. Her inane chatter was interrupted by Twilight putting her hoof up to shush her. 

"Oh no..." whispered Surprise sadly. Concern was shining brightly in Twilight's eyes. A cold feeling settled in Pinkie's stomach.

"Pinkie...I heard you talking. What's wrong?" asked Twilight gently, putting her hoof down. The fear for her friend's well-being was clear in her voice. Pinkie's eyes started watering. Twilight had heard them. She could feel her mane deflating as fear formed an iron grip around her heart.

"Talking? Wh-what do you mean talking, Twilight? I-I wasn't talking! I..I was...." She tried to deny it, but gave up, realising the futility of it. Pinkie was crying now. Seven years. SEVEN YEARS they had kept the secret. And now it was all going to repeat, everything going to happen all over again. And all because of a game. A stupid, STUPID game. Her legs wobbled, and collapsed. Pinkie Pie wept.





Twilight looked on aghast as Pinkie fell to the floor and broke down into tears. "Pinkie! Pinkie, what's wrong?! Please, tell me!" She begged. She to her friend's side and hugged her closely, desperate to stem the flow of tears. 

"I-inside..." sniffed Pinkie.

"Huh?"

"Please...Come inside... and close the door..."

"O-ok..." Worried, Twilight slowly separated from Pinkie, and followed the still sobbing, straight-maned pink pony as she shakily got to her hooves and entered her bedroom. Twilight followed quickly, closing the door behind her. She didn't know what was going on, but she was going to get to the bottom of it. 

"T-Twilight?" 

"Pinkie, I'm here for you. Whatever's wrong, you can tell me!"

To her surprise, Pinkie shook her head. "No, I'm fine. There is nothing wrong with me!" she almost shouted the last part. Twilight was shocked. Pinkie really was angry. What had gotten her so upset? This was so unlike her!

"Pinkie, I heard you talking to yourself. Please, don't lie."

"I'm NOT lying!" Twilight was taken aback by the sudden scream. "I..I just...I'm..."

Twilight waited for Pinkie to get her thoughts in order, fighting back the urge to to say something. This was obviously difficult for Pinkie to say, and nothing that she could say was going to speed up Pinkie getting her thoughts straight.

"Twilight...I need you to promise me something..."

"H-huh?"

"I need you to pinkie promise... not to tell anyone about this. If you really want to know, you have to keep it a secret."

"What!? Why? Pinkie, If there's something wrong, you need to go to-"

"Please!" Pinkie begged her. There was fear in her eyes. Terrible, terrible fear of something. Twilight gulped. What was going on?

"I...Pinkie promise." She made the motions reluctantly. Now she couldn't go to anyone...including a doctor. But she needed to know what was troubling Pinkie Pie so much that she'd start talking to herself and crying. She couldn't just leave her to struggle through it alone. Hopefully, she could help.

Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief, and seemed to calm down a bit. "Th-thank you..." she sniffed, the flow of tears starting to slow. "I'm sorry, but, this...It's got to be a secret."

Twilight laid a reassuring hoof on Pinkie's shoulder. "Pinkie Pie, I'm here for you. No matter what."

Pinkie managed a small smile. "Thank you..." She visibly steeled herself. "Twilight, I- I technically have a condition."

"What do you mean, Pinkie?" asked Twilight, confused.

"I..." Pinkie breathed in and out, deeply. She steadied herself, and looked Twilight in the eye. "Twilight, I have something called dissociative identity disorder. I basically have two separate ponies living with me in my head. They are not harmful to me in any way, nor are they malicious in nature towards me or anyone else. In fact, they're pretty much my oldest friends. Their names are Surprise and Pinkamena."

Twilight stared slack-jawed at Pinkie. She sounded so serious- the complete opposite of her normal behaviour. And dissociative identity disorder? That was incredibly rare! 

"Pinkie, I... Do you need medication or something? Is that what's wrong?"

Pinkie shook her head. "No. D-doctors aren't even sure of the root cause- there isn't any definite treatment, nor do I want to be treated. Surprise and Pinkamena are good ponies."

"Uhh..." Twilight wasn't quite sure how to reply. Pinkie seemed quite adamant that these...alternate personalities were separate entities to herself, rather than pieces of a fractured psyche, as some medical textbooks she'd read described them. And why was she refusing treatment? Surely this condition was problematic! But then, Pinkie seemed so sure that she was fine...

"Umm...Pinkie?" Her concern could still be heard strongly in her voice.

"Yes Twilight?" Pinkie seemed to have recovered a bit now, and had stopped crying. Her mane was still flat, though. 

"Are you sure about not wanting treatment? From what I've read, dissociative identity disorder can be quite detrimental on one's enjoyment of life- foggy memory, unreliable mental stability... It's not a condition to be taken lightly!"

Pinkie smiled. "Don't worry, I'm sure." She tilted her head. "Hang on..." There was a pause as Pinkie trailed off into silence, and then she quietly murmured "Are you sure?" under her breath. Twilight's eyes widened. Pinkie had referred to these other personalities as 'separate' to her. And now she was talking to no-one in the room, so...was Pinkie talking to one of these other personalities? 

Pinkie straightened her head. "Pinkamena wants to speak to you- that ok?" she asked.

"Uh..." Twilight , although still very concerned, was also having to deal with a rising tide of confusion. "Sure? Wait...talk to me? How?" Twilight tilted her head. Why did this whole situation have to be so confusing?

Pinkie smiled knowingly, although still rather sadly. "You'll see." She sat down, and closed her eyes. After a moment, her head tilted forwards, and then jerked up again. She opened her eyes again. Something seemed off, though- the way she held her head was slightly different from normal.

Twilight's eyes widened slightly. Talk to her... was it possible that Pinkie and this 'Pinkamena' personality had just...traded places? Pinkie retreating into the mind, and the other coming forward to take control of the body?

Pinkie sighed. "Hello, Twilight. My name's Pinkamena."

Apparently it was.





Despite circumstances, Pinkamena couldn't help but enjoy the look of disbelief on Twilight's face for a few moments. Then, she cleared her throat. It had the desired effect, that being snapping Twilight out of her frozen state.

"Sorry," she breathed "it's just..are you really...?"  Looked like her scientific curiosity was starting to kick in.

Pinkamena rolled her eyes at the question. Inside, the knot of concern started to loosen slightly. Twilight looked to be calming down slightly now that she knew more about the situation, and she'd pinkie promised not to tell anyone. She was clearly very concerned for Pinkie's well-being, enough to swear off going to any doctors. Now, it was Pinkamena's job to convince her that that was the right decision. And that meant telling her the entire story...including the hospital.

"Yes, I'm an alternate personality...sort of." Seeing Twilight's question coming from a mile off, she quickly continued. "Don't get me wrong, I am definitely part of a severe psychological condition, it's just that...well, you know that Pinkie's a bit...strange, don't you?"

Twilight nodded, her attention fully focussed on this strange pony talking to her. This Pinkamena sounded more mature than Pinkie would probably ever be. Her tone of voice was different, the way she carried herself was different...It was like somepony had climbed into a hyper-realistic Pinkie Pie costume, and was using some sort of voice changer to make themselves sound the part. 

"Well," continued the pink mare opposite her, "Apparently that's actually something to do with how her brain is wired, in a way. Even without me and Surprise around, she was a little messed up. Nothing major, just...different. Oh- you may want to sit down. This is going to take a while."

Realising that she was still on her feet, Twilight sat down. She attempted a rather awkward smile. "So, uh... What do you mean, different? I mean, I know that you'r- That Pinkie's a bit random, but how does that relate to multiple personality disorder?"

Pinkamena sighed. Again. She was doing that a lot today. "It's a long story. You know how Pinkie got her cutie mark, right? She saw the rainboom, and threw a party?"

Twilight nodded, still nervous around this strange personality that had taken over Pinkie's body "Yes, that's right. The rainboom inspired her to throw a party, thereby discovering her love of parties and making ponies smile."

"Well, that's where this all began. You mentioned some medical books- I'm assuming you've read a bit on the subject?"

"Yes, I did. While I was still living in Canterlot." Twilight winced. "Oh..um..Do you know that I used to live i-"

"Yes, I know" interrupted Pinkamena. "I can see what Pinkie sees, hear what she hears. That includes when she's with her friends. I know everything about you that Pinkie does."

"Oh, um...ok." Twilight was still a little disconcerted, knowing that a technical stranger knew her as well as one of her best friends. That wasn't really anything surprising, though.

"Do you remember any of the theories about this sort of condition is created?" asked Pinkamena, trying to keep Twilight on track.

"Ummm.. There was something but...I'm afraid I can't remember...Pinkamena." Oh boy. Twilight was still having trouble adjusting. Still, there was nothing that Pinkamena could really do about that. All she could do was keep talking, and hope to ease her into being more comfortable. 

"Ok. Well, one theory is that alternate personalities may be formed as a result of severe psychological trauma." stated Pinkamena. She braced for the explosion.

"Wait...you mean that you- Pinkie...What happened?!?" exclaimed Twilight. 

Pinkamena remained calm, even as Twilight started to worry over the words 'severe' and 'trauma'. "Twilight!" she shouted. "Calm down. At least wait until I've finished explaining before you start panicking. This is all in the past for us anyway. But you need to understand where Surprise and I came from."

Twilight was jolted out of a panic attack for the second time that day. She took a few breaths to calm down, and nodded, indicating that she was alright. But she felt that she had to speak her mind, and so took advantage of the silence.

"I'm still not really sure that this is good for Pinkie..."

"That's why I'm talking to you. To convince you that Pinkie's fine."

"I'm not sure I trust you... But Pinkie seems to think that you're alright. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, for now."

"Thank you." Pinkamena gave a short nod. It was a little too much to expect instant trust in this sort of situation, after all. At least Twilight was willing to listen to what she had to say. "Now, back to the party. I'm not sure of the exact timing, but it was around then that Surprise popped into existence- Surprise is the other personality in here, just so you know." She tapped the side of her head.

"So Pinkie Pie has a case of multiple personality disorder, and you and this Surprise are the alternate personalities?" clarified Twilight.

"Yes, that's right." confirmed Pinkamena. Dissociative identity disorder was also known as multiple personality disorder, she recalled. Although the former was what appeared in modern medical textbooks, the two terms were interchangable.

"And Surprise appeared first? What about you?" Twilight asked, curious.

Pinkamena winced. "I...came along later. I'll get to that part in a bit."

Twilight, clearly sensing the tension, moved the subject back to Surprise. "So, Pinkie developed a split personality as a result of...what, exactly?"

Pinkamena took a deep breath, and started explaining.





"You have to understand the situation, first of all. Up until the rainboom, Pinkie had been living a rather dreary life on the family rock farm. Everyday was  the same, dull life. Then, all in a few hours, everything was turned on its head. You remember how I said that Pinkie's brain is wired up weirdly? Well, I think that might partly be to blame for all this. You see, literally overnight, Pinkie's entire mindset changed. Suddenly, she knew what she wanted to do with her life. She was happy, overwhelmingly happy. The strongest feeling she'd ever felt, and it culminated in her getting her cutie mark, practically in one day. I think...I think that the emotions kind of overloaded her brain, or tripped a fuse- something like that. She was breaking out of the restrictions that had been with her all her life, the years of monotonous, repetitive days with no release, all that frustration and boredom was being released in one go. I think that's where Surprise came from. 

Surprise is... Hyper. She's always up for a game, or playing pranks- to be honest, her personality's quite close to Pinkie's. Only, Surprise has less inhibitions. She goes further with the games than Pinkie would. She's got a strong moral compass, and knows when she's gone too far, but she does keep skirting around the boundaries. Once she gets going, she just doesn't really... stop. Have you ever been to a Pinkie party that left you absolutely exhausted? Constant action, no real time to rest? Yes? Well, chances are Surprise was in charge of that one. That's Surprise. Party until you drop, and enjoy every last second of it.

Now, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. Surprise isn't the sort of pony to be constantly working our body to exhaustion. She knows that that's definitely not a good idea. She does go further than Pinkie does, but not too far. Remember, I said she has less inhibitions, not no inhibitions. And if she did ever go completely overboard, which is highly unlikely, Pinkie and I are both here to reel her back in.

Any questions?"





Pinkamena drew to a close on the first part of her tale. Of course, not existing at the time meant she had had to make some guesses on what had happened, but she was pretty sure that was what had happened. Some of it, she had picked up from Pinkie and Surprise's recounts. The more technical parts, she had gathered from the...doctors. Across from her, Twilight was staring, slack jawed.

"You mean that Pinkie's happiness was strong enough to...to..."

"To create a split personality, yes. Like I said, her brain is a bit messed up anyway- it's where she gets all that kooky behaviour from. The two combined is what led to Surprise."

"That's crazy!"

Pinkamena chuckled. "This is Pinkie Pie we're talking about here. Crazy is what she does."

Twilight shared in the laugh. She seemed to have become a bit more relaxed in Pinkamena's company. A very good sign. Pinkamena smiled as both Surprise and Pinkie celebrated the change in Twilight's attitude. Eventually, though, the alicorn had to ask the obvious questions.

"But... That still doesn't explain why she was so scared earlier. And what about you? Where did you come from?" she asked. 

The atmosphere changed so quickly, it was like a freezing cold wind had sudden blown through the room, sweeping away the good mood. The room instantly tensed as Pinkamena looked down and shivered slightly at the returning memories. The two party ponies fell silent. They knew that Twilight would need to know, having gotten this far, but that didn't make it any easier. She gulped. This was it. It was time to talk about the hospital. About the doctors, and their treatments.

About the reasons she existed.
> Dark Memories (Warning- descriptions of violent events, possibly upsetting).
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight felt the room instantly tense. The pink pony opposite her shuddered slightly, and gulped. She had a bad feeling about where this was going...

"Twilight, I'm going to warn you now. This next part, why I exist, it's not a happy story like Surprise's. I was a shield, someone who could stay strong and help the others through dark times. I...I was born from a need to end suffering." Pinkamena looked Twilight in the eye as she warned her. Twilight gulped. She didn't like the way Pinkamena's voice shook. It spoke of old scars, and a hidden anger. But she was in too deep to stop now. She needed to know the rest of this story. 

"Please, if you can, go on." she said. "I want to understand."

Pinkamena took a few more deep breaths. She hated thinking about the hospital. But right now, she had to. 

"Alright. But I'm warning you, you're not going to like it...





After Surprise came into her life, Pinkie was confused for a while. Apparently, she had ended her first party so full of joy she was almost floating, and then she woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. Pretty soon, there was somepony else speaking in her head, an energetic-sounding friend that she couldn't see or touch, whose voice came out of nowhere and nopony else could hear. Her parents, at first, simply thought Pinkie had made an imaginary friend. It was a logical assumption, to be fair. 

Anyway, Surprise was just as confused as Pinkie. I mean, she had literally just come into existence. I think she knew the basics of life, but she didn't have any real personal identity- she didn't know who she was, what she was, or why she was in Pinkie's head. She didn't even have a name, to start off with. Pinkie actually named her, on account of the fact that her appearance was such a big surprise.

Eventually, Surprise got restless. She wanted to get out into the world, to do things, to play games and have fun. The two had thought by now that Surprise was a pony that had somehow been trapped in Pinkie's head. They reasoned that since Surprise seemed to be a separate pony, maybe she was a baby that had been born into Pinkie's head rather than into her own body on accident. Hey, Pinkie was in single digits, she didn't know where foals came from at that point. It was a perfectly reasonable explanation- in her eyes, at least. Anyway, Pinkie wanted Surprise to experience the outside world, and so they swapped.

I think I'd better explain how that works. See, we can swap who's in control of the body, like me and Pinkie did earlier. The only restriction is that both parties involved have to want the change-over. We can't just force our way into control. So, when Pinkie and Surprise ended up swapping, they loved it. Here was Surprise's chance to play in the outside world, and Pinkie's chance to experience life from Surprise's point of view, and also teach Surprise about the world. Soon, they were swapping back and forth all the time. With swaps, it kinda looks like you're fainting for a moment.  Pinkie's dad quickly noticed his daughter was nodding off all over the place, and asked her if anything was wrong. Pinkie cheerfully told him all about what was going on, of course. She didn't see any reason to keep it a secret. He thought she was playing a game at first, so to prove it, she and Surprise switched. Right in front of him.

Pinkie's parents flipped. Their daughter was suddenly claiming to be her imaginary friend, and was practically fainting all over the place. They went to the local doctor. The doctor referred them to a hospital, which was dedicated to psychiatric conditions. That's the nice way of saying asylum, by the way. They took Pinkie along, and the doctors diagnosed dissociative identity disorder. They explained that it was a severe psychological condition, and recommended immediate intensive therapy. 

Pinkie spent months in there. Every day, she'd be taken from her room on the quieter wing of the hospital to a psychologist's office. The guy wasn't good with children. On the very first day, he told her that Surprise shouldn't exist, that she was wrong and that they needed to get rid of her. As you can guess, Pinkie didn't take that well. To her, he was saying that the doctors wanted to kill Surprise. I suppose, in a way, that's true. They sat Pinkie down on a sofa, and asked her to tell them about Surprise. So that they could help Pinkie to get rid of her. Pinkie didn't co-operate. She was certain that they were all evil.

I think Pinkie...confused the doctors. To the best of their knowledge, split personalities were often unaware of each other. The different personalities could only remember what they experienced first hand, and often had very poor memories. Pinkie, on the other hand, had said right at the start that she could sit down in her mind and watch what was going on, like there was a big window to the outside world hanging in the sky. She and Surprise could swap at will, and communicate with each other, things both unheard of in similar cases. They knew exactly what had happened whilst the other was in charge of the body.  Eventually, they took brain scans, and discovered Pinkie's wacky wiring. That really got them confused. It could explain some of what was going on, but at the same time raised more questions about how her brain actually functioned. I'm just glad that they didn't notice the pinkie sense. Who knows what they would've made of it.

Pinkie's brain apparently has more connections than normal. Lots more. All those extra cross-over points between the different parts somehow let me and Surprise have more balanced personalities than alternate personalities in normal brains. Don't ask me how that works, even the doctors were baffled by it. Maybe we have better access to the parts of the brain responsible for emotions? Alternate personalities generally display only one or two emotions, you see, often to extremes, but Surprise and I differ from that. For example, Surprise is always cheery and hyper, sure, but never to any harmful extent, and she is perfectly capable of more negative emotions as well.

The doctor's attempts to treat Pinkie and put her mind back in one piece varied in method, and none of them worked. Any medication they gave her, she spat it out. Visits to the shrink had gone out the window before the end of day one. They even tried sedating her when Surprise was in charge at one point. Pretty soon, Surprise wasn't swapping with Pinkie any more, because when she was in charge all the doctors did was try to get her back into Pinkie's head. But Surprise was still talking to Pinkie. And Pinkie was talking back.

The doctor's constant attempts at treatment were turning Pinkie's life into a daily nightmare. She hated being there, and what they were doing. She refused to get along with them-  not like her at all. The doctors were tearing their hair out over her, and she was just miserable over it all. The doctors didn't know what to do with her, and I think they were ready to throw in the towel and send her home, as Surprise clearly wasn't malignant.

I wish they had.

There was this one unicorn stallion that was...obsessed with Pinkie's case. She never knew his name. He wanted to experiment on her mind, test what it's limits were, and how Surprise affected that. He was constantly testing her IQ, her mental capacity, putting her through every psychological test and examination there is. When they discovered how unique Pinkie's brain was, he only got worse. 

Brain monitoring suddenly became common with him. Pinkie spent a lot of time hooked up to one analysis machine or another. A few times, he forced her to switch with Surprise and measured how the brain reacted...All the time, he was coming up with more and more outlandish treatment methods. Hypnosis didn't work. There were forcibly-given injections of various drugs. After a while, just when the doctors were starting to think about sending Pinkie home, he even tried electroconvulsive therapy- a standard procedure, apparently. Although I doubt patients are usually given it in the dead of night, and threatened to not say a word about it. The patient is typically administered with anaesthetic and muscle relaxant, and given an electric shock to induce seizures. It's meant to provide relief from several psychiatric conditions, although not usually personality disorders. It's not recommended for foals. I'm not sure if he was even trying to cure Pinkie at that point.

Eventually, it all reached a boiling point. One night, he decided to try it without the anaesthetic and relaxants. We still don't know why. It only happened the one time, but... well, lightning still scares Pinkie to this day. She's gotten better, but I think she'll always be reminded of that day when there's a thunderstorm. She passed out in agony, still wired up to the machine and screaming out for him to stop. We found out later that he didn't. Not for another five whole minutes.

That's where I came from. She needed somepony to stop the pain. She needed a protector, somepony who could tell her that it was alright and that everything was going to be ok. Somepony that could take charge in difficult times. The morning after that sick monster electrocuted her, I was the one who woke up. He'd taken us back to our room whilst she was out. Pinkie had... well, disappeared. I'm not sure where she went, I think it was kind of like the mind equivalent of hibernation. She just couldn't cope anymore. Surprise was still around, but she hardly spoke.

I knew what the situation was, Pinkie had somehow passed that information along. So, the very first thing I did was leave our bedroom, go down to the psychologist's office at the end of the corridor, bang on the door, and tell the pony who answered exactly what had happened the night before. The guy was in prison so fast he probably left scorch marks on the floor. The doctors weren't stupid, they knew that I wasn't Pinkie. But after that, they didn't try anything else as a cure. We tried coaxing her out, but she just didn't want to. They thought that she might come back if she was back home, so after observing me long enough to make sure that I wasn't a danger to anyone, they discharged me, on the condition that I went for regular check-ups to see if Pinkie was resurfacing.

Her parents didn't know what to make of me at first. They had been told what I was medically speaking, of course, but they weren't really sure who I was, if you know what I mean. So, they just treated me like they did Pinkie. 'Wake up Pinkamena! Time for school!'  they called in the mornings. I didn't have any other name to go by, so Pinkamena became my name. Yes, I know it's Pinkie's as well, but she prefers the shortened version.

Eventually, about two months after being discharged, I had to go to court to testify against the doctor. He was denying everything, of course, but once he realised that I was testifying against him he pleaded guilty, insanely hoping for a shortened sentence. The judge gave him an extended one, without parole. While I was watching him being dragged away, I heard Pinkie say 'Thank you'. And just like that, after a whole two months of me being on my own, she was back.

Pinkie took a while to get adjusted to the outside world again. She wasn't as happy as she is now, but she was getting better by the day. Surprise was starting to come out of her shell too. This time around, her parents didn't say anything if they heard her talking to us. She was happy, and that's all they cared about. She really cheered up and got back to normal the next time she threw a party- I think that might have been the one Cheese Sandwich went to. The years passed, and when she grew up, she moved to Ponyville. By then, we had decided to keep Surprise and I a secret. We didn't want to risk being taken to another hospital. Who knows what state she'd be in before ponies who knew the situation got her out. 

S-so that's all there is to it, really. The whole story. Pinkie's fine, she really is. If she wasn't, she'd get help. She's not stupid. You've got to believe me. I- Oh...Oh no..."





Twilight was crying. Her eyes were wide with shock and a tinge of horror, and her entire body was shaking. Pinkamena had been too caught up in her tale- how long had Twilight been like this? Blinking back her own tears, she quickly drew the sobbing alicorn into a close hug. "It's ok. She's fine now. We're all fine." She said soothingly.

"Why...why did he...how could he...to a foal...." Twilight was soaking Pinkamena's shoulder in tears. In her head, Pinkie and Surprise were also crying, although they weren't nearly so badly affected. Just old, although rather painful, memories returning for a short while. They'd soon be gone. 

They stayed that way for a while. How long exactly, neither could tell. Eventually, Twilight pulled back from Pinkamena, still sniffling slightly.

"I...I...I can see why you three don't want treatment. And I can see that you don't need it either. I'm sure the other doctors weren't so irresponsible as to let you go when you really needed to stay. Just...If anything starts going wrong up there, you tell me right away.You hear me, Pinkie?"

Pinkamena smiled and nodded, as Pinkie gave an affirmative. "She hears you. Surprise too. In fact..." She closed her eyes. Realising what this meant, Twilight drew closer, curiosity and a hint of fascination clear on her face. 

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!" Out of nowhere, Surprise rammed into Twilight, catching her off-guard and gripping her in a crushing hug. Her mane, meanwhile, sprang back into the familiar poofy look with an audible 'Sproing!'.

"P-Pinkie.." she gasped "Can't breathe..."

"Oops! Sorry!" giggled Surprise, quickly releasing her. "But I'm not Pinkie, silly!"

Twilight's eyes were almost like saucers. "Then you must be...Surprise?"

"Yup!" nodded Surprise.

"Wow!" gasped Twilight, tears completely forgotten. "What does it feel like, switching? And does the time taken differ? Or is it constant? Does it depend on who's swapping?" she gushed out a torrent of questions, clearly in curious scientist mode.

Surprise thought for a moment. "I dunno!" she shrugged, smiling.

Twilight smiled. The relaxed, light-hearted mood was returning. "Oh well. Maybe Pinkamena or Pinkie will be able to answer me later?"

"Probably!"

"Ok! So...Would you like to tell me about yourself, Surprise? I think I know Pinkamena a little now, but I don't know you at all."

"Oh-Ok! My name's Surprise- oh, but you already knew that...oh well! Introduction time! I'm Surprise! It's nice to meet you, Twilight!" said Surprise brightly. She shook Twilight's hoof vigorously, to the point where Twilight's entire body was being shook, reminiscent of her first meeting with Applejack.

Surprise, please don't shake Twilight so much... warned Pinkamena. She would have added a (most likely unfunny) joke about Twilight's hoof falling off or something, if it weren't for the fact that it might have resulted in Surprise taping Twilight's body-parts together.

"Oops- sorry! Are you alright, Twilight?" asked Surprise apologetically, stopping her rather one-sided hoof-shake.

"I'm ok..." said a slightly dizzy Twilight, slowly recovering from the impromptu shaking. She shook her head slightly to clear it.

"Great!" cheered Surprise, jumping in delight. "Oh oh oh! Do you want to play a game?"

"A game?" asked Twilight, her head tilting to one side. "What kind of game?"

"Truth or dare! We were playing it before, but then you started knocking and kinda interrupted us..."

"Here we go again..." groaned Pinkamena.

"Oh, don't be such a grumpy-pants, Pinkamena. What's wrong with playing truth or dare for a while?"

"Nothing, it's just...well, this is us we're talking about. Playing a game with three ponies in one body? Twilight's going to get very confused, an-"

"Sure!" smiled Twilight, oblivious to the internal conversation she had interrupted. "I'd love to. The truth questions will be a great opportunity to get to know you and Pinkamena! Is that ok with Pinkie and Pinkamena, Surprise?" Twilight was clearly coming to grips with the situation very quickly.

"Fine with me!" beamed Pinkie

...Fine. Let's not take too long, though. We're meant to be moving that cake, remember, not playing games all day!"
> Cake Transport
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The four played for a long time. Twilight quickly got used to the usage of a spinner to choose who to dare, which was now being used in tandem with a bottle to differ between Twilight and the three-ponies-in-one opposite her. The time flew by. Interestingly, Twilight noted, when Pinkamena was in charge her mane and tail were flat and straight, whilst Pinkie and Surprise both had the familiar frizzy mess. Something to investigate later, perhaps. Surprise was about to choose her next pony-to-be-truth-or-dared when a knock came at the door. 

"Pinkie? Princess Twilight?" came Mrs Cake's voice. "I don't wish to interrupt, but... well, it's just that you've been in there for hours now, and we're getting kind of worried. Is everything alright?" Confused, Twilight looked over to the clock on Pinkie's bedside table. 

"Five o'clock?!" she gasped. "Girls, we've been playing for three hours! We were meant to be moving that cake to the library ages ago!" At the mention of the library, her mind turned to the assistant she had left behind. "Oh no- SPIKE! I've left him alone for three hours! I was only going to take an hour or so- he's going to be worried sick!" She turned back to...Pinkie? Surprise? Had they switched when Mrs Cake- never mind, no time! "Sorry girls, but I need to get back. Where's the cake?"

The pink pony- Surprise, perhaps- smiled. "Don't worry about it, Twilight! The cake is in the storage room downstairs- follow me!" She bounced downstairs, Twilight following. A hurried reassurance was given to Mrs Cake as they passed her, the two explaining that they had got carried away with a game of truth or dare, carefully stepping around inquiries about the sounds of crying that had been heard earlier. The moving of furniture was hastily attributed to Pinkie re-arranging her room to make space for some party cannon maintenance. With the Cakes reassured, the two entered the storage room, where Twilight's eyes fell upon the huge white pillar of a box that housed Pinkie's latest creation. 

"Wow!" she gasped "How big is that thing?"

"About a meter and a half" replied Surprise (or was it Pinkie?) cheerfully.

"That's incredible!" Twilight avoided addressing her friend by name. Unless she was completely certain of which party pony it was making last-minute checks on the cake's safety inside its box, it would probably be best to avoid names, therefore also avoiding any chance of embarrassment at getting the name wrong. 

"I know! Although Pinkie did do most of the work, so she's probably the best pony to tell you about it-hold on!" Surprise paused in her bouncing and went through the now familiar ritual of sitting down and closing her eyes for a moment. Then came the familiar head-dip, and Pinkie looked up and resumed the bouncing. 

"So, Pinkie, what's in this?" asked Twilight, silently thanking Surprise for inadvertently clearing up her confusion.

"Well it's a carrot cake, because it's for a bunny, oh but there's also cherries and chocolate in there somewhere, and there's some balls of birdseed up near the top, and some of those have got treacle on and oh oh OH! Twilight?"

"Yes Pinkie?"

"Do birds eat treacle?" 

"Uh...um..." Do birds eat treacle? What sort of a question was that? "Maybe? I'm afraid I don't know, but I can probably look it up back at the library, if you want." she offered.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'm sure I can just ask Fluttershy at the party!" smiled Pinkie. With the question of the edibility of treacle for birds postponed to a later date, the two ponies prepared to transport the cake. It had been decided earlier that they would both support the cake physically by carrying it on their backs, sharing the burden, whilst Twilight would also use her magic to steady it. As an extra precaution, Pinkie was paying close attention to her tail- a twitchy tail could provide the crucial warning needed to save the cake if all went wrong.

Of course, this ended up being the case. The two had covered most of the distance to the library, to the point where it was just in sight, when a buzzing sound, quickly growing in volume, reached their ears. Pinkie's tail shook violently as an orange and red blur appeared ahead of them. 

"Twitchy tail!" yelled Pinkie, and Twilight groaned. They were so close...but she strengthened her telekinetic hold on the cake all the same. Just in time too, because a split second later the Cutie Mark Crusaders cannoned into the two, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle riding in the red wagon hitched to Scootaloo's scooter. Somehow the fillies managed to hit right between the two mares, knocking them to either side of the cake box as the CMC sped down the road.

"Sooorrrrry!" came the fast fading apology as the three fillies sped away, unable to stop with their built-up momentum. Twilight and Pinkie fell to the ground on either side of the cake as it began to descend at a near-terminal rate. Fortunately, Twilight's magic grip was just strong enough to prevent the surrounding cobblestones from being painted in frosting. Instead, the cake almost floated the last few inches to the ground as Twilight managed to focus through her daze on her telekinesis, before settling on the road with a quiet 'thump'. Twilight and Pinkie both breathed a sigh of relief. Amidst the gaze of curious onlookers, the two managed to reposition the cake squarely on their backs, mainly thanks to Twilight's magic, which was fortunately strong enough to lift the heavy cake back up, admittedly with a fair amount of effort. The strain on Twilight was the only reason that they hadn't decided on just having her carry it to the library on her own via telekinesis. 

They managed to carry the cake the rest of the way to Twilight's home without incident, and as soon as the cake was settled safely on a table Twilight called for her assistant.

"Spike? Spiiike!" she called "Where are you? I'm sorry I'm late!" She walked to the foot of the stairs and called again, while behind her Pinkie shut the door. "Spike?" Still no answer. Starting to worry, she went upstairs and took a look around. Spike was nowhere to be found. "Pinkie, Spike's not here!" she called down to the ground floor.

"He's gone into town!"

"Huh?" Going back downstairs, Twilight found Pinkie reading a note stuck to the back of the door. Walking over, she quickly scanned the short note. It was definitely Spike's handwriting, although it was a little messy, like it had been written in a hurry. Curious, but no real indicator for worry.

Hey Twilight, I finished sorting books, but you were taking ages. So I'm going to head into town for a while, hang around, maybe grab some ice cream. No need to worry about me. See you later!





Pinkie wandered around the library. Twilight had gone in search of books relating to multiple personalities, leaving Pinkie to her own devices. She considered visiting the cookery section, but in the end went in search of fiction after realising that she had already memorised most of the library's recipe books. After all, a party-planner and baker should know as many recipes as possible, so as to be prepared for every occasion. Common sense, really.

The fiction section of the library took up almost the entirety of the ground floor of the library. Golden Oaks was arranged so that the non-fiction books were mainly on the first floor, with the personal rooms such as bedrooms on the second. The exceptions to these layout rules were the kitchen and dining room, which were both situated on the ground floor, although separated from the rest of the library. One of the reasons behind this was the fact that nopony wanted to lug groceries up two flights of stairs. Idly browsing the shelves and taking down books that interested her or either Surprise or Pinkamena, there was soon a small collection of books growing on one of the tables in the room. Pinkamena had a soft spot for the older, classic titles, while Pinkie and Surprise preferred more modern novels. They also liked mysteries, Sherlock Hooves being a definite favourite of all three. 

"So, are you feeling any more twitches?"

"Hmmm?" Pinkie tilted her head to one side. "What do you mean?"

"The doozy, remember? We got a doozy prediction earlier...unless that was Twilight finding out?"

This suggestion was, unfortunately, ruled out almost immediately afterwards by pinkie sense, tremors once again racking Pinkie's body for a few moments.

"Looks like that's a no! Oh boy, I wonder what it is..." Pinkie wondered, drifting off into thought. 

"Another hydra attack, perhaps? Or maybe a dragon's going to come into town?" suggested Pinkamena. She was rather worried about the upcoming doozy. They weren't sure when it would strike, or where. A complete mystery.

"Maybe...Can you think of anything, Surprise?"

"Sorry, I can't think of anything either...Do you think we should tell Twilight?"

"Don't you remember what happened the last time Twilight got a warning about the future? came Pinkamena's dry reply "I'm not sure she's the best pony to go to."

"We can't say nothing! This doozy could be really, really bad news, and I don't want ponies to get hurt because they didn't know about it!!"

"But that's the thing, though isn't it? We don't know what's coming either!" Pinkamena sighed. "'Doozy' is so vague, we can't really do anything about it!"

"Maybe..." admitted Pinkie, slightly downcast. "I don't like it! What's the point of predicting the future if you can't tell what you're predicting?"

"Ummm...Oh! Maybe if we DID know the future, then we'd be able to stop the doozy before it happened. But then if we did THAT, then we wouldn't have a doozy, so we couldn't have predicted the doozy because the doozy wouldn't have happened. But we would have had to predict the doozy, otherwise we couldn't have stopped it. And then time would start melting!" This hypothesis, having been rapidly delivered by Surprise in a few breaths, made the other two pause.

"So you're saying that it's a safety feature?" questioned Pinkamena thoughtfully.

"Maybe!"

"That...actually makes sense, to be honest. The vagueness stops us from making paradoxes if we try to stop the doozy, in case it's something nasty. Interesting..." Pinkamena and Surprise joined Pinkie in thought, pondering the mysteries of pinkie sense.

Eventually, Pinkie broke the silence. "So...what do we do?" 

Pinkamena sighed. "I'm not sure there's much we can do about this. Maybe we can warn the others, but I don't think that there's much we can do about this doozy except wait and see. Just don't get Twilight panicking over it!"

"I suppose..."

"Suppose what?" Pinkie jumped at the sound of Twilight's voice. She twisted around and smiled.

"Oh, nothing much! We were just talking about a potentially incredibly dangerous event that's in the near future which we know is coming but can do absolutely nothing about!"

Pinkamena and Surprise face-hoofed. Twilight started panicking.

"Uh...oops?"





Half an hour and some breathing exercises later, and Twilight had calmed down. In that time, Spike had returned from his trip into town looking, it would have been noted if anypony was paying attention, slightly red. However, the two ponies in the room were currently engaged in performing breathing exercises, leaving only owlowiscious to notice the red-cheeked dragon. His attempts to later inform Twilight of this observation would sadly be doomed due to translation difficulties.  

"So, just to be clear, your pinkie sense is predicting another doozy?" asked Twilight. She, Pinkie and Spike, who had been a little distressed to find Twilight had had another panic attack in his absence, had settled down in the kitchen to discuss this turn of events. Spike wasn't aware of the events at Sugarcube Corner, nor would he be if Twilight could help it. Even without the explanation-limiting pinkie promise, Spike would still be able to get the gist of her emotional state earlier that day, and she didn't want him to have to worry about her too much.

"Yup" nodded Pinkie "But you shouldn't worry about it. It could be absolutely nothing to worry about!" 

"'Could' means that there is a certain degree of doubt." Twilight pointed out. "Anyway, as I recall, the last one was a bigger shock than a hydra attack!"

"Yeah, that's true, but...umm...We can never be sure what the future is, it's going to happen whatever we do, sooo... we should just stop worrying over it and get on with life?"

"Wow Pinkie, that's great advice!" exclaimed Spike. He turned to Twilight. "You should take it Twilight!" he advised.

Twilight nodded in response. It was a reasonable argument, and she had in fact learnt that lesson personally with the time-travel incident. Oddly, Pinkie's statement seemed rather unlike her usual brand of advice, which was rather nonsensical at times. This sounded more like it had come from Pinkamena, who was quite clearly the most mature of the trio. In fact, Twilight realised, it probably had. With the pauses in her speech, Pinkie had sounded like she was repeating what somepony else was saying, rather like when you were making an oath of the 'repeat after me' variety. Pinkamena and Surprise could commune with Pinkie in her mind, after all. They couldn't talk directly with her with Spike there, of course. That wouldn't end well. 

Although, she mused, it was a bit unfair to Pinkamena and Surprise. For years they had had to hide, and now they finally had somepony else apart from Pinkie to talk to, but still only in private. And even that was only due to chance. There had been a very real possibility of her not overhearing the three talking, if she had just walked at a slightly different pace that morning. Then the two other personalities would have still only had each over and Pinkie for company. Maybe, just maybe, it would be a good idea to tell the rest of their little group? Surely they would be supportive. And it would mean that Pinkie wouldn't have to be so secretive, as well as letting the other personalities get to know her friends personally. Sure, it would be rather weird at first, and there would probably be one or two less than entirely positive responses, but surely in the long run it would be for the best?

"Say, Pinkie?"

"Yes Twilight?"

"You know that...thing we were talking about earlier?" Twilight's voice was hesitant, taking care to make the reference as vague as possible, making certain there would be no chance of breaking her promise.

"Uh...yeah?" Pinkie was also nervous in her reply. Her eyes flicked towards Spike, and she prayed that Twilight wouldn't accidentally clue the dragon in. She wasn't ready for anyone else knowing yet. Spike, unaware of all that had transpired that day, simply looked between the two, confused.

"Well...Do you think that...It might be a good idea to tell the others?" asked Twilight gently.

"U-um..." Pinkie couldn't say she was surprised. Neither were Surprise or Pinkamena. They had all expected this suggestion to come up, sooner or later. That didn't mean they were entirely comfortable with it, though. It wasn't that they disliked the idea itself, it would be a big relief to not be on guard all the time, but they feared the reactions of Pinkie's friends should they find out. Twilight had accepted them, sure. but would the rest be so understanding? They all had very different personalities, coming from all different walks of life. Fluttershy would most likely be alright with them, but what of the other three? Would they be as accepting?

"I-I don't know...maybe? I'm not sure..." 

"Well, it's only an idea. Though I think it might be for the best. Think about it, alright?"

"S-sure..." Pinkie had to admit, it would be great if some other ponies knew about Surprise and Pinkamena. It was certainly possible that the others in their group would be just as accepting as Twilight. Their friendship had overcome all sorts of obstacles before this, after all. Maybe it was best to have a more positive outlook on the idea.

"Uhh...What's wrong?" asked Spike, tentatively. "Is there something the matter, Pinkie?"

"No Spike, it's just...something about myself that I haven't really told anypony about. Nothing bad, I'm just...different."

"Well, I think whatever it is, it's better out than in. A problem shared is a problem halved, right?" Different? Everypony in town knew Pinkie wasn't exactly normal! On the other hand, it did seem that this was more serious than her day-to-day abnormal behaviour. In any case, Pinkie seemed a little down, if that was possible. Spike wasn't sure what was going on, but decided a little friendly advice wouldn't go amiss. After all, it might help Pinkie work out what to do about whatever was troubling her.

"Yeah, thanks Spike." smiled Pinkie. "I'll keep that in mind."
> Interlude: Spike's Day Off
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spike waved his free hand. "Sure, get going. Don't keep Pinkie waiting!"

Twilight nodded, smiling. "Of course! Be right back!" 

Spike slotted the book into place on the shelf as Twilight left the room behind him, his ears easily picking up the sound of hooves on wood as she walked down the hall. He relaxed, relieved to be putting his weight back onto the whole of his feet after standing on tip-toes for quite a while, having been stretching to reach the shelf the book belonged to. Having no idea where a ladder was, and with no desire to look for one, the young dragon had spent a few minutes attempting to place the book in its rightful place. He glanced across to the small pile of books at his side. There was only about five or six left to shelve, and then he would be done for the day. Luckily for him, the library was closed that day, so that meant he had the rest of the day to do whatever he wanted.

Re-shelving the last few books took very little time, only about quarter of an hour, and so Spike was soon in his bedroom, reading comics and snacking on some small gems. He had bought several comics the other day, but hadn't really had a chance to settle down to read them. However, by the time he had worked his way through his new comics, which took up about an hour, Twilight still wasn't back with the cake. Spike wandered around the library for a while, but soon got bored, and eventually decided to head into town, scribbling a quick note to Twilight in case she returned before he did.

Leaving the library, Spike headed for the town centre. He planned on visiting the village's ice cream parlour, and maybe Carousel Boutique later on, to see if Rarity needed anything done. Along the way, he said hello to several ponies. One such pony he came across was Colgate, who had apparently met Twilight earlier on in town. The exchange was brief, Spike beating a hasty retreat from the dentist's reminder of his upcoming check-up. 

Dragon dentistry was, of course, different from pony dentistry. His substantially tougher teeth needing little in the way of care, for example, meant that his appointments should, in theory, be fairly short. In reality, however, Colgate would often discover chunks of gems stuck between his teeth. This, to a dragon, is a similar situation to a pony having sugar or plaque on their teeth. Because of this, finding bits of gems in between his teeth would mean a very long session of Ponyville's dentist slowly working the gem fragments free with the help of a hoofheld drill, of the kind usually used for carving fine detail into stone statues. This, despite sounding rather painful, actually generated little more than general discomfort for Spike. The drill, although capable of grinding away at gems and rock, was nevertheless not strong enough to damage his teeth. Approaching Ponyville's ice-cream central, he glumly poked at his top right molars, where a piece of topaz had been wedged in for weeks. It looked like he was going to be spending the entire afternoon at the dentist's next time, if it was as big as it felt.

Entering Frozen Delights, the best makers of ice-cream for miles, Spike headed straight for the counter. He had already decided on his order whilst walking, and was soon holding a cone with a double-scoop of mint chocolate chip. He paid the pony at the counter, and moved to sit down at an empty table. The shop was decorated brightly, with the theme of ice-cream prevalent throughout. The counter itself was painted cream, like a vanilla ice-cream, whilst the walls were stripes of Neapolitan. The tables were modelled after ice-cream cones, and the seating consisted of comfortable wooden chairs, which had detailed ice-cream cones engraved into their backs. The shop itself was relatively new, and had a friendly rivalry with Sugarcube Corner. Although Pinkie Pie's sundaes were amazing, Sugarcube Corner was nevertheless primarily a bakery. This meant that Frozen Scoop, the proprietor of the parlour, had been able to find a niche in the market. The summer months in particular had proved to be a great source of income, with ponies flocking to the store.

"Hey, Spike! Over here!"

Spike looked around, surprised. He spotted the source of the call- Apple Bloom. She, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were sitting at a corner table. They waved him over.

"Hi girls! What's up?" asked Spike.

"Nothing much." replied Sweetie. "We were just having some ice cream before doing some more crusading. Wanna join us?"

"Uh..." Spike hesitated. Did Sweetie just mean join them at the table and eat his ice cream? Or help with their crusading? Maybe both? Spike gulped. It would be rude to refuse, no matter what Sweetie meant. But on the other hand, he wasn't keen on joining the CMC on a crusade. Who knows what might happen?

"Come on, Spike!" said Scootaloo, jolting Spike out of his musing. "It'll be fun! I promise we won't do anything too dangerous, alright?" Oh no. They wanted him to go crusading with them. And they were doing the puppy-dog eyes.

Gulping, Spike hesitantly agreed, and joined the three fillies at the table.

How bad could it be?





"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Bad. Very bad. As his cart hurtled down the road, Spike screamed. He was going way too fast to come out unscathed. The premise had seemed innocent enough. An attempt at racing cutie marks, courtesy of a soap-box derby. Apple Bloom had quickly pieced together a basic cart for Spike, and the CMC had decided to race together against him. They were, of course, using the wagon and scooter set-up. He didn't know where they had ended up. They had gotten separated after coming off the course at the first corner. Turns out that doing a sharp turn after tearing down a very steep hill wasn't as easy as Scootaloo thought. He should have known better.

Unfortunately, he hadn't. So now he was hurtling down a street, scattering ponies left and right as they scrambled to get out of his way. As he clung to the cart for dear life, he heard three familiar voices calling out a few streets away.

"Soooorrrrrryyy!!!"

He gulped. Either they'd knocked someone over, or they had just rammed into something and broken it. Either way, he was going to held responsible. He should have stopped them. It was obvious that something would go wrong. Spike was older than them, after all. His title as 'baby dragon' was only applicable in terms of dragon lifespans. Although he did often have a somewhat childish mentality, the fact remained that, in reality, he was in his late teens. Unfortunately, Spike had trusted the fillies to know what they were doing. He had reasoned that Scootaloo was experienced in this sort of thing, and wouldn't overestimate her abilities. He had, sadly, failed to recognise that this was the cutie mark crusaders. Something almost always went wrong on their crusades. His only hope was that the incident wasn't too serious. Hey, maybe it was so minor no-one would bother even complaining!

With that hopeful thought in mind, Spike turned his attention to getting out of his predicament in one piece. Fortunately, there was a gentle upward slope coming up, which should help to slow him down. Sure enough, as his makeshift cart flew up the hill its overwhelming momentum decreased. Not enough to be fully under control, but it was now slow enough to at least be directable. To an extent, at least. The best he could do at the moment was turn 'left-ish', or 'before I crash into Roseluck'.

Eventually, the cart ground to a stop on the opposite side of Ponyville to the starting point. This was, of course, wildly off course, but Spike didn't care. He was just relieved to finally get off the mobile death-trap the crusaders had built. What he did care about, on the other hand, was the fate of the crusaders. The fillies were nowhere in sight, and Spike couldn't hear any buzzing wings or loud cra-

CRASH!

Ah. Well, that was one problem sorted. Heading in the direction of the noise, Spike found the crusaders in a heap at the base of a tree. Worried, he rushed over, anxious to see if they were ok. As he got closer, he quickly took stock of the situation. The scooter had disconnected from the wagon, and ploughed into a bush along with its rider. The wagon was overturned, and Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom had been thrown out and were now lying in a daze at the base of the tree.

Spike moved to help the fillies. First, he pulled Scootaloo out of the bush in which she was stuck. The pegasus filly had several scrapes and scratches, but her safety gear had protected her for the most part. After setting Scootaloo down, Spike turned his attentions to the other two crusaders. Apple Bloom, as an earth pony, was the hardier of the two, and was already shrugging off the worst of the shock. Sweetie Belle, on the other hand, was clearly dazed. Spike hoped neither had a concussion. He helped the two to their feet. The two leaned on him for support as Scootaloo roused herself and joined the three.

"Are you three alright?" she asked anxiously. It had been Scootaloo's idea in the first place, and she was obviously scared that her decision had hurt her best friends. 

"Ahm fine, Scoots." smiled Apple Bloom, albeit slightly weakly. "That crash wus nothin' to worry about for an earth pony!" Her words reassured Scootaloo, whose panic was softened. This was short-lived however, as she realised that Sweetie was clearly worse off, and had none of an earth pony's strength to protect her.

"Sweetie! Are you alright!?" Spike could see Scootaloo's worry and concern growing. He was quite worried himself, but had to put on a brave face.

"Don't worry, Scootaloo." he said. "Worst thing she'll have is some bruises and a headache."

"Y-yeah...I'm fine, Scootaloo." Sweetie Belle finally spoke up, bringing a sigh of relief to all. Scootaloo's shoulders sagged slightly, the confirmation of her friend's well-being a huge relief to the little filly. Apple Bloom eyed the bruised forming on her and Sweetie's bodies.

"Ah don't think we should be doin' any more crusadin' for a while." she noted sadly "Ahm sore all over, and Applejack ain't gonna be happy when she finds out what happened." Sweetie shuddered in agreement, thinking of her own big sister's probable reaction to their activities. Spike nodded an agreement. Scootaloo was silent, he noticed.

"Ah reckon we all oughta head home. Does anypony need help gettin' home?" asked Apple Bloom.

"No, I'll be alright" said Sweetie Belle, straightening up. She winced slightly as she put weight on her feet, but ignored the pain. "How about you, Scoots?"

"H-huh? Uh-um..." Scootaloo hesitated, her eyes darting to Spike, silently pleading for help. Spike sighed internally. She still hadn't told them, then.

"I'll take her." he offered. "You ok with that Scootaloo?"

"Y-yeah" she nodded, smiling gratefully. With that decided, the group broke up. Apple Bloom headed back to Sweet Apple Acres, which wasn't all that far away. Sweetie Belle headed to Carousel Boutique, and Scootaloo followed Spike. The pair soon came to where Scootaloo lived, and limped inside. The pegasus stood silently as Spike calmly explained the accident. He explained how the filly was not to blame for what had happened, and that if anybody was it was him for not realising the dangers. He was, after all, older than the trio, and therefore had the greatest share of responsibility. In any case, his words calmed the wrath of the mare in charge, and Scootaloo was not punished for her actions.

Scootaloo walked Spike back to the front door, and the two said their goodbyes on the front step.

"Thanks, Spike." smiled Scootaloo.

"No problem, Scoots." replied Spike. "I'm happy to help."

"I mean it. You could have just sent me on my way. you could have just left me at the door. You didn't have to come in with me and explain. Or take responsibility. So, thank you."

"You still haven't told them, have you?" asked Spike gently.

Scootaloo nodded, ashamed. "It's...It's just so hard to say..." She lowered her head, looking at the pavement below her.

Spike smiled, understanding her predicament. "It'll be ok." he said. "I reckon you ought to tell them soon, though. Better you tell them now, than they find out from someone else later."

"Yeah..."

"Hey, don't be like that! It'll be fine, honestly. You and I both know that Apple Bloom will understand what what you're feeling, and I know Sweetie is going to be fine with all this as well. Ok?" Scootaloo elected to forgo an answer, instead giving the young dragon a strong hug. A big, long hug. From a girl. Spike turned red. Eventually, Scootaloo released Spike, and he said goodbye.

On the way home from the orphanage, Spike, still rather red, pondered the day's events. It wasn't a surprise that Scootaloo was still keeping her orphan status a secret. She had apparently been keeping that secret for a long time, in order to stop bullies from getting even more ammunition to hit her with. Her inability to fly was the source of much taunting and teasing already, and she was clearly desperate to avoid even more pain. Spike only knew that Scootaloo was an orphan because he had accompanied Twilight on a visit to the orphanage, as part of a literary promotion scheme for the village's foals, and seen her in the corner.

He had, of course been sworn to secrecy. Scootaloo was very insecure about her situation, to the point where she had struggled to tell even the crusaders the truth. Hopefully she would get the courage to do so soon, before keeping secrets turned to outright lying to her friends. It wasn't like the crusaders would push her away, after all. Apple Bloom in particular knew the pain of losing your parents. 

Spike headed home, with thoughts of Scootaloo's predicament filling his mind. In the back of his mind, another curious thought grew. The memory of Scootaloo drawing back from the hug. There had been a moment when she had avoided eye contact. A mere few seconds, before they had said their goodbyes for the day. That awkward moment of silence....had she been blushing?
> The Party
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pinkie Pie woke up, and almost immediately she jumped out of bed. The day of Angel's party was finally here! She darted round Sugarcube corner, making herself a quick breakfast. The usual morning routine was actually a lot more sedate, but she had somewhere to be. She was going to Fluttershy's cottage to put up the decorations for the party, and as such had woken up earlier than usual. She hadn't needed an alarm clock, though. She had just decided on a time to wake up, and followed through. No being lazy when there were parties to organise!

Pinkamena and Surprise took a back seat as Pinkie rushed around, preparing a quick round of toast. She was surprisingly quiet in her movements, but then she didn't want to wake the other occupants of the building, especially the twins. Even more impressive was her multitasking, which when combined with the benefits of pinkie sense led to a highly efficient morning routine. For example, when the toast popped up in the air, a twitchy tail ensured the plate was positioned underneath to catch the slices before they could fall to the floor. 

Pinkie hummed happily as she sped around the kitchen. Soon, she was gulping down a quick meal of toast and juice. After finishing her meal, Pinkie stood up form the table, put her plate and cup by the sink to be washed up later, and headed out of the bakery. 

"You forgot to brush, you know." pointed out Pinkamena as Pinkie bounced across town. It was early morning, The sun only recently risen. As a result, very few ponies were up and about, mostly farmers like the Apple family. Pinkie almost tripped for a moment, coming to a sudden standstill at the proclamation. 

"Did I?" she asked cocking her head in thought. She paused for a moment. "Oh well." she shrugged, and resumed her trek across Ponyville.

"Colgate isn't going to be very happy with you." warned Pinkamena.

"I'll brush my teeth later. Right now, I've got party to get ready for!" announced Pinkie. Pinkamena sighed. There wasn't any point in arguing. She knew that from experience.





Pinkie crossed Ponyville with little interruption, only pausing to greet the ponies she came across on her way to Fluttershy's cottage. Upon arriving, she rapidly knocked on the door, announcing her presence. After a moment, the door opened a crack.

"H-hello?" came the quiet voice of the cottage's owner.

"Hiya Fluttershy!"

"Oh, hello Pinkie...um, would you like to come in?" asked Fluttershy.

"Yes please! I need to set up the balloons, and the food, and the table- oh, I should probably do the table before the food, otherwise I'll have nothing to put the food on- table, THEN food, decorations, music, games and anything else I can think of!" Pinkie took a deep breath. It was the first breath since she had begun to reply, to be fair. She needed the extra oxygen. She grinned happily. Fluttershy opened the door fully, letting Pinkie inside. 

Almost immediately, Pinkie was zipping around putting up decorations. Fluttershy just stood to the side, watching on meekly as her pet's birthday party was prepared. In almost no time at all, the cottage was decked out in streamers and balloons. A table now occupied the center of the room, filled with various foodstuffs. There was a circular space in the center, where the cake would be given pride of place. Another table, slightly smaller, stood near the door, awaiting presents.

"Do you like it?" asked Pinkie.

"I think it's wonderful." smiled Fluttershy. "What about you, Angel?" The bunny in question looked around for a moment, sniffed, and made a so-so gesture. Fluttershy frowned slightly, but didn't comment.

"Oh! Ask if they like the pin the tail on the bunny!"

"Do you like the pin the tail on the bunny rabbit? It's usually a pony, but since this is a party for a bunny and bunnies have tails, Sur- I thought it would be a great idea to have a bunny instead of a pony! Do you like it?"

"Um...Yes?" This time, Angel nodded as well. Although he acted a bit condescending, Pinkie could tell it was mainly a front. Angel was definitely happy about his party's arrangement so far. Just wait until he saw the cake!

The setting up had actually taken less time than anticipated, so Pinkie found herself with some spare time until guests were scheduled to arrive. First, she double-checked and tested out all the party games, to ensure they were working properly. Fluttershy, meanwhile, busied herself with her morning rounds, providing food and any care needed to the various animals in her home. There were still a multitude of birds hanging around from the outbreak of flu, though they were fortunately past the worst of it and well on the way to recovery.

Having tested out the games, Pinkie wandered over to Fluttershy, Twilight and Spike's words echoing in her head. "Hey, Fluttershy?"

"Um...Yes?"

"Uh..." Pinkie racked her brains for a moment, trying to come up with a good way of phrasing her question. "Do you...If  I were to keep a really big secret for a reeallly long time about myself -not saying that I am, of course- and then tell everypony about it, do you think they would be hurt? I'm asking for a friend, by the way. Not me." Well, that last part might not be the whole truth, but it was pretty close. Pinkamena and Surprise were her friends, after all, and it would affect them as much as herself.

"Um...Probably." answered Fluttershy hesitantly. "But I think that good friends would be able to forgive that pony." she quickly added, seeing Pinkie's expression become downcast.

"Really?" asked Pinkie, brightening up.

"Twilight did, right?"

"Yeah! Twilight is a good friend, and the others should be alright with it as well!"

"Yes...I think so, at least..." said Fluttershy, oblivious to the reassurances offered by the two personalities. She was rather concerned with the uncharacteristically serious tone Pinkie had taken when asking her question. Was Pinkie hiding something? Was that why she was asking? Oh, but she had said that wasn't true...But then again, what if she was lying? Why would Pinkie feel the need to lie to her friends? Oh dear...

"Great! Thank you!" beamed Pinkie. She bounced away, leaving Fluttershy standing alone with her thoughts.

"U-um...why do you ask?" came the tentative question. Unfortunately, Pinkie was too far away to hear the quiet voice, and so Fluttershy was left feeling a little confused as to the point of the conversation that had seemed to be so serious.





"Welcome!" cheered Pinkie, opening the door to reveal Rainbow Dash and Tank. The two stepped inside, taking in the festive atmosphere. They were the last to arrive, all the others in their circle of friends already present, along with their pets. Applejack had helped Twilight bring the cake over, fortunately without incident. It took pride of place in the middle of the room, and already it had several slices missing. Rainbow stared at the cake for a moment in undisguised longing, her trance broken by Pinkie waving a hoof in front of her face. She deposited a small wrapped present on the gift table, and then flew over to the buffet, Tank making his way slowly over to where the rests of the pets were.

Pinkie had darted back over to Sugarcube Corner in order to pick up Gummy and her own present, and the young alligator stared blankly at Angel, who was apparently in deep conversation with the other pets.

"Can I switch for a while? I wanna play!"

Pinkie nodded an ok, looked around to check no-one was looking, and switched. Immediately, Surprise bounded over to the pin the tail game, slapped on a blindfold, and held her hoof out for the pin in giddy excitement. As usual, she was spun around, and then sent teetering off in the general direction of the bunny poster. She did reasonably well, only a few inches away from the mark. She quickly bounced over to the buffet, fuelled up on food and drink, and then shot off to the space cleared for dancing. As usual, the change in demeanour went largely unnoticed. Twilight however, having spent a morning getting to know the differences between Pinkie and Surprise, did suspect that a switch had taken place.

All in all, the party was a huge success. Even the usually surly Angel had a smile, quite the achievement. Some 'accidentally' spilt punch gave Surprise a wet mane, making it flat and straight, giving Pinkamena a chance to enjoy herself as well without drawing attention. Pinkie and Surprise celebrated their successful party, whilst Pinkamena chatted amiably to Applejack and Twilight. If Applejack noticed anything amiss, she didn't say anything, and Twilight didn't let on anything either.

A little while later, Pinkie looked around at the smiling faces, feeling that bubble of pride in her chest at a job well done. Twilight was right, she decided.  It was time to tell her friends the truth. Spike and Fluttershy's advice had gone a long way to reassuring her. A quick, whispered question confirmed that Pinkamena and Surprise felt the same way. Yes, it was time. Well, almost. Tomorrow. If she made an announcement like that now, it would almost certainly overshadow Angel's birthday- not something she wanted to do.

Oh, and she'd better say something about the doozy too. Seriously, it was starting to worry her. The trio had come to the conclusion that each shudder signified the progression of events that led up to a doozy. When the situation moved onto the next in a chain of events. And several shudders over the past few days had indicated a LOT of build-up. They had considered the possibility that the doozy was the revealing of Pinkie's condition, and that was the most likely scenario. But on the other hoof, there were some inconsistencies. Like the one she had last night, for example.  They hadn't decided on a course of action then, and so unless Twilight was making important decisions or revealing secrets at a little past midnight, the explanation didn't really fit. And if the doozy wasn't her revealing her secret, then what?
> Reactions
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another beautiful morning dawned in Ponyville. As was usual in the summertime, the sky was clear and blue, with the occasional cloud floating by. Birds sung, the market bustled, all was normal. Well, almost. Pinkie Pie paced nervously in her bedroom. Today was the day. In just a few hours, her best friends would be coming to Sugarcube Corner at her request. She had invited them all at the end of Angel's party. Some part of her had hoped that they would refuse, say they had other plans- but it seems that her friends were all too happy for a get-together the day after a party. Of course, the last time she had made such an invitation and been refused, she had ended up going slightly cuckoo, so they were probably trying to avoid a similar situation. Either that, or they had noticed the slight faltering of her usual smile. Nopony had said anything though, so the first option was more likely. Probably.

Twilight had been the last to leave Fluttershy's except herself, and the reassuring look the alicorn had given Pinkie had done wonders for her composure. After Twilight had left the cottage, Pinkie had cleaned up the mess of the party quickly with help from Fluttershy, dodging any questions the timid pegasus had managed to ask with her specialised brand of hyper chatter.

Then, it had been back to Sugarcube Corner for the night. Sleep had not been the easiest to achieve, her nerves having begun to act up again, but a glass of warm milk had fortunately aided in hastening its arrival. Now it was morning. She idly wondered whether the Cakes had noticed the tension in her actions at breakfast. They hadn't said anything if they had.

With another look at the clock, confirming that time was indeed going painfully slow, Pinkie crossed the room to her door and headed downstairs. That morning she was supposed to be manning the counter until her friends arrived. Of course, her mind was elsewhere, and  her normally positive attitude had become rather subdued. She didn't notice or care though, simply ringing up the customer's purchases with little comment- until Berry Punch asked her why she wasn't smiling. That was a shock to the system. She brushed the comment off, gave a big cheesy smile to the customer, and then went into the back room to have a quick breather. Which meant taking rather a lot of breaths quickly.

"Do you want me to take over? I bet I could smile all day long and all night too!"

"Y-yeah..thanks Surprise..."

"You're welcome!" beamed Surprise, trotting out to the counter again.





"Pinkie, it's going to be ok. They're going to be fine with this, you know they will."

"I know. I'm...I'm fine. Just a little nervous, that's all." Her quavering voice said otherwise.

"A little?" Pinkamena's tone was full of disbelief for a moment. "Pinkie, I think you just had a panic attack! That isn't something you should brush off!"

"I'm just a bit nervous about this, that's all!"  Pinkie protested. In the material world, Surprise hummed merrily as she bagged some muffins for the local mailmare. She gave no indication that she was listening to the internal conversation, but was in fact following it closely. She was as worried about Pinkie as Pinkamena was.

"I think you're more than a little nervous. Come on, you know you can trust me. Tell me what you're feeling, truthfully." Pinkamena gently pressed Pinkie, in an attempt to get her to open up.

"I...I..." Pinkie took a deep 'breath'. "I'm scared because I'm about to tell ponies about my biggest ever secret and they're my friends and I know I should trust them but I'm not sure they'll be alright with you and I don't want to go back to a hospital and I think somepony might think I should and then they might not go to my old one or they might not remember me and I'd be stuck there!!!" One of the benefits of speaking with your mind was that it allowed for somepony to say a lot quickly. Of course, one of the downsides of this was that it was easy to forget to use things like separate sentences. 

"So you're nervous about talking about Surprise and I, and you're also scared that your friends won't be as understanding as Twilight, and that they'll take you to a hospital. And then, once you were at the hospital, you're afraid that you won't be able to get out for a while, and have to relive your first time in a psychiatric ward.

"Yeah...That sounds right."

"Impossible." stated Pinkamena flatly. 

"Huh? Wh-what do you mean?"

Pinkamena sighed. "Pinkie, you're scared. I get that. But nothing like that could possibly happen. Worst case scenario, somepony will need some time to warm up to us. That's it. You know you can trust your friends, especially after what the six of you have already been through. And on top of that, Twilight already knows everything! She knows that a hospital is the last place you want, or need, to be. Even if somepony tried to force us into a psyche ward, the staff would easily be able to get your file and would soon let you go! And it wouldn't even come to that, because Twilight is a PRINCESS for crying out loud- she can easily stop anything like that from happening!"

This speech had the desired effect. Pinkie's spirits began to lift, and Pinkamena breathed a sigh of relief.

"Are you sure?" asked Pinkie quietly. She was still anxious, but her panic had died down.

"Yes Pinkie, I'm sure." reassured Pinkamena.

"Great!" whispered Surprise. She then, in a much louder voice, called across the shop to the latest group to enter the shop. "Hi girls!" 

Pinkie and Pinkamena's heads snapped up to the 'screen' that hung in their shared mindscape. The gang was here. Surprise bounded over to them. 

"I'm so happy you all made it! Unless one of you is a changeling, in which case I'm not so happy and please give us back our friend! Oh, but that doesn't mean that you can't be my friend as well mister-or-missus hypothetical changeling! HUGS FOR EVERYONE!!" She reared up onto her hind legs, held her forelegs wide, and beamed.

This outburst was followed by a few seconds of slightly awkward silence, which was eventually broken by Rainbow Dash.

"Uh, Pinkie? Didn't you want to talk to us?" 

"Yup!" smiled Surprise, dropping back down onto all fours. "And it's really, REALLY important, and also really REALLY secret, so follow me!" She sped upstairs.

"Is it me or is Pinkie acting...weird?" asked Rainbow.

"You do realise this is Pinkie Pie we're talkin' bout here, right? She's always actin a mite strange." Applejack shook her head, smiling. "Still, ah wonder what's so important?"

"I just hope she isn't exaggerating." commented Rarity, heading to the stairs. "Shall we go see what all the fuss is about?"





Pinkie was sweating. She had switched with Surprise the moment they had reached the bedroom, and was now waiting for her friends to catch up. All too soon, the door swung open. Rarity was leading, closely followed by Twilight. Next came Applejack and Rainbow, with Fluttershy bringing up the rear. 

"Hey girls!" she smiled. Applejack frowned.

"Pinkie? Y'all all right, sugarcube?" Everyone in the room had picked up on the sudden change in mood. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've...I've got something I need to tell you. It's really important that you keep this a secret, all right? I...I don't want everypony to know about this." Giving each other worried glances, the group made an unbidden Pinkie Promise. 

"Now, Pinkie dear, whatever's the matter?" asked Rarity.

"U-um..Is there something you need help with?" asked Fluttershy.

"Well, I..." Pinkie steadied her nerves with a deep breath. "I've got a...a mental condition. Multiple personality disorder." There. She'd said it. Now for the backlash.

"Multiple what-now?" Applejack tilted her head to one side, confused.

"Never heard of it." shrugged Rainbow. "What's she talking about, Twilight?"

"Well, it's a condition where the pony develops...multiple personalities." Twilight answered, already knowing that Rainbow would need more explanation, but unsure how to describe it. Sure enough, Rainbow gave her a half-annoyed look.

"I got that. What're multiple personalities?"

"Well, they're-"

"They're a serious mental illness. Pinkie dear, you should be in hospital!" Rarity interrupted Twilight, wide-eyed in shock. This was, of course, the worst possible reaction.

"NO!" shouted Pinkie. The others jumped. "I-I mean..No. I'm not sick. Their names are Pinkamena and Surprise. They...they aren't harmful! I've got a weird brain that does stuff to make it okay!"

Perturbed, Rarity pressed Pinkie. "Darling, what do you mean? I'm sure your brain is perfectly fine!"

Pinkie was panicking again. Fortunately, Twilight stepped in to take control of the degrading situation. "Rarity, Pinkie has already spent time in a psychiatric hospital for this. She was released because her condition wasn't harmful. She has a unique brain structure which had a hand in the development of this condition, and which also ensures her mental stability." she stated, carefully glossing over the circumstances of Pinkie's discharge.

"But Twilight-"

"She's fine, Rarity. They all are."

Rarity looked at Pinkie. To her surprise, she found that Pinkie was glaring at her.

"Pinkie, darling- are you all right?"

"She's panicking." said Pinkamena, scowling at the fashionista. "Thanks for that. I've spent the last hour trying to cheer her up, and now she's relapsed."

"Pinkie? Wh-why are you talking like that?" asked Rarity, worried at the sudden change in her friend.

"I'm not Pinkie." This statement was met with silence for a moment or two. Rarity looked at Pinkamena in dawning realisation and growing shock. Then, Applejack and Rainbow started pelting the angry pink pony with questions. Fluttershy just looked on in silent concern for her friend.

"QUIET!" yelled Twilight. As the noise died down, she looked over at Pinkamena. She was angry at Rarity, that much was obvious. Pinkie had apparently been unable to stand up to the pressure, and switched out. She devised a plan of action: First, work with Pinkamena and get the facts across. Exposition was all that was needed for understanding here. She glanced at Fluttershy. Maybe gloss over the part concerning that...stallion who called himself a doctor. Next, introduce Surprise. Reassure all present of Pinkie's mental health. And finally, make sure to give Pinkie some space to recover from this turn of events. She nodded to herself. Yes, that would work. Time to get started, then!





"So, let me get this straight. That was YOU, not Pinkie?" Rainbow grinned. "Cool!" Surprise giggled.

"Yep! And that's not the only time either- remember that day with the sneezing powder?"

The situation had finally calmed down somewhat. Overall, reflected Twilight, things had turned out alright. There had been a little hiccup when Twilight had revealed her knowledge of the situation, but that had been resolved after explaining how she had been sworn to secrecy. Rarity was still a little untrusting of Pinkamena and Surprise, but now was at least more understanding of the situation. Rainbow was clearly over the initial shock, having found that she had spent many a day playing pranks with Surprise and now animatedly chatting to the personality. Fluttershy, despite remaining rather quiet, had actually been the first to approach Pinkamena after things had been explained. She had hugged the irritated earth pony, and given her a gentle smile. This broke the ice and calmed Pinkamena down, and soon Pinkamena had been talking amiably to the others. After that, there had been a little get-to-know session, and then Pinkamena had switched with Surprise. The hyperactive mare had quickly started chatting away, and soon Rainbow and Applejack had begun to warm up to her. Again, Fluttershy was the most accepting of the group.

All of a sudden, Surprise sat up straight. "Pinkie's ready to come out again now!" she announced. "Be nice!" The suddenness threw everyone off for a second, which Surprise took advantage of. The change was obvious. The smile drooped, shoulders sank, and suddenly Pinkie was in control of her body again.

"H-hey guys..."

"Pinkie! How are you feeling?" asked Twilight.

"I'm ok. I think..."

Having confirmed that it was indeed Pinkie, Rarity walked over, her head low. "Pinkie, I want to apologise for how I treated you earlier. I'll admit that I'm not exactly comfortable with the situation at present, but I will endeavour to change this!"

"Th-thanks Rarity." said Pinkie.

"U-um...I like Pinkamena and Surprise...they seem nice." said Fluttershy softly.

"Same here!" announced Rainbow. The group, already knowing Twilight's outlook, turned to Applejack to hear her take on the matter. The farm pony sighed. 

"Ah'll admit, I'm not exactly comfortable with this at the moment. It's just hard to wrap ma head around, ya know? Ah aint too sure what to make of this, to be honest..." Applejack trailed off, looking sorrowful. This turned to shame as she caught sight of Pinkie's downcast expression. "Look, ah aint condemmin' ya or nothin'." she said, in an attempt to comfort the party pony. "It's just that ah...what's the word...ah'm just not used to this yet. Just give me some time, alright sugarcube?"

"Yeah...thanks Applejack." Pinkie managed a small but genuine smile.

Silence retuned to the room. Pinkie began to rest easy in the knowledge that things weren't as bad as they first seemed. Twilight relaxed. The others enjoyed the quiet, peaceful moment. Which was then sadly interrupted by Pinkie's body erupting into what appeared to be a mild seizure. 

"DOOZY!" shrieked Pinkie. The reactions were almost instant. Far away, a mad charge for safety began.

Alarms. Shouting. I need to get away!

Still trembling like crazy, Pinkie backed into a corner, fearing that some sort of attack was imminent. Her sadness at the situation with Rarity and Applejack now brushed aside for the time being, she prayed that the doozy would turn out to be something good.

Hooves burning. Can't stop. They're right behind me!

Pinkie's bed barricaded her door for the second time that week, as Twilight dragged it across the room with telekinesis. She then followed this up with a shield spell over the entire building. 

 Trees. Forest. Shelter.

Rarity, looking around nervously, took shelter under the table. Unaware of Twilight's shield, she reasoned that at least this way she had some protection if anything fell through the roof. 'Please don't let it be another hydra' she prayed.

 Bush- Hide! 

Fluttershy had seemingly disappeared. However, as Pinkie's eyes cast around frantically, searching for any sign of anything amiss in the world around her, she caught a glimpse of a pink tail peeking out from under her closet door.

 .........Gone.

Slowly, as an evil entity recently escaped from a thousand-year long imprisonment failed to show up and nothing exploded, the ponies in the room started to relax. Twilight took down her shield spell, Rarity began the long process of coaxing Fluttershy out of hiding, and Rainbow began vehemently denying that she had been hugging Applejack for dear life. The farmer herself wisely kept her mouth shut, well aware of her inability to lie with a straight face. As her tremors died down, Pinkie herself recovered fairly quickly from the new wave of terror- apart from the doozy, nothing had come up on her pinkie sense to indicate any kind of trouble. Pinkamena was quiet, clearly thinking over the new problem. Surprise started babbling away about possible doozies, many of which involving various forms of confectionery coming to life via nuclear waste- whatever that was.

"Pinkie, do you know what happened?" asked Twilight, as confused and worried as the others were.

Shaken, Pinkie looked out the window. She didn't know. The doozy had happened, but the event itself had apparently not been a local one. Everything was as peaceful as it had been before. There was no way to tell what had happened. And yet...she shuddered.

"I don't know," she admitted "but I've got a baaaad feeling..."





I'm free 

The thought echoed through the stallion's mind. He revelled in the knowledge. The escape hadn't gone as well as planned, but that was irrelevant now. He was free.

He would have to lie low for a while, of course. No point in breaking out if the first thing he did was get himself arrested again. No, he would lie low. Not for too long, though. He had work to do. His hypothesis needed finalising. Investigation. Testing. That would be the hardest part. But then, he already knew where she was. The newspapers had been very helpful with that. Retrieving his little research subject shouldn't be too difficult. He would find her, and prove his theory. This would be ground-breaking, a revelation in the world of psychology. And after he had no more use for her, he would of course take his revenge. It would be slow, he decided. And painful. Just what she deserved. 
> Escape
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tonight was the night. Soon, he would be free. The plan was foolproof, he was thoroughly prepared. All that remained was the execution.
It had taken him years to reach this point. He had been working towards it ever since the moon had remained in the sky that fateful day. When the newspapers had begun talking of a group of mares, he had instantly recognised the element of laughter. How ironic he thought, the most miserable filly he'd ever known becoming the embodiment of laughter. That was, assuming she had resurfaced. He had long since decided that it was far more likely that the more energetic one, 'Surprise', had assumed Ms Pie's identity. He had seen no sign of the original personality after that last experiment, not even all those weeks later at the trial. Who knows, he might have even erased her by accident. Not that it really mattered, of course. It was the brain he was interested in.

Nevertheless, when he had seen her smiling face on the front page, his blood had begun to boil again. How dare she smile, whilst he had been left to rot in this stinking prison!? It was an outrage. He had been so close to a breakthrough. If only he'd had a few more sessions with the little brat. He had easily identified the areas of her brain which were crucial to her ability to form new personalities. Indeed, he had proven that to be the case with the third personality's creation. He had been hoping that her strong negative emotions such as fear would have divulged to form the new personality, but instead he had created some form of protection-driven personality. His mistake had cost him dearly- a fear-based personality would have never gotten him into this situation. A few more sessions and he would have been able to find out where he had gone wrong. See what conditions were needed for specific personality traits to emerge.

It would have been an incredible advancement in the science behind personalities, and the creation of split personalities. He had, of course, artificially created the extreme brain activity via electricity, but that was merely the first step. The next would have been to create a similar response via replication of the circumstances surrounding the creation of 'Surprise'. Something must have happened in her brain to trigger the formation of a split personality, after all. And, clearly, it was repeatable. Of course, that was only in regards to Pinkamena's brain. Its abnormalities obviously contributed greatly to her condition. Another sufferer of DID would have allowed him to cross-reference the details and find common links. From there, reliable treatments would have been easier to create. And that was only the start. Imagine if you could influence the development of specific personality traits in a regular pony? Or any other sentient creature, for that matter. The infamous griffon military would likely pay dearly for the ability to give their soldiers a perfect mind-set for combat. Psychiatric treatment for a range of issues could be enhanced. The possibilities were endless! He would have been a celebrity in the world of psychology, a world-famous pioneer. If only he had a little more time with Pinkamena...

That had been the thought to motivate him. He'd dedicated all of his free time to formulate a plan to escape. He needed to find, or otherwise create a reliable escape route. He needed to stave off discovery for as long as possible. With the regular guard patrols, that meant some kind of trick or diversion. Naturally, the middle of the night would be the ideal time to escape. The darkness would provide excellent cover, and his black coat would blend in excellently.

Tricking the night guard had proven to be almost painfully simple. All it had taken was a crude, improvised form of paper-mache made from newspaper and soap to make a convincing enough model of his head. Furnished with fur scrounged from the prison barber, the likeness was decent enough. In the dark, the guards wouldn't look twice. He had tested the system of course, hiding under his bed and leaving the fake head in his place. His thin frame allowed him to just about squeeze under the bed, and the guard didn't even spare a second glance. This demonstrated not only that the fake head worked, but also that the guards weren't very observant.  His coat wasn't exactly the brightest of colours, true, but surely even a foal would notice a hoof sticking out from under a bed? Still, he wasn't about to complain about the effectiveness of the guards. The stupider they were, the better off he would be.

The most arduous part of the plan, of course, had been creating his escape route. He had been forced to slowly carve his way through the cell wall, without the aid of his magic- prolonged telekinesis was not only prevented by the inhibition rings all imprisoned unicorns wore, it was recorded by them. There was no way even the most simple-minded of guards would fail to realise the significance of late-night telekinesis- digging an escape tunnel was unfortunately a classic cliché. No, he had had to use his clumsy hooves (how did Pegasi and Earth Ponies manage?) to dig with a spoon, slowly scraping the cement from around a usefully (and foolishly) placed air vent in the wall. Then, over the course of several night-time excursions, he had mapped out the best route through the ventilation system. He would be able to reach a relatively quiet hallway on the top floor, and from there the roof. Then, he would have to climb down the exterior fire escape, cross the courtyard and scale the perimeter fence- which of course incorporated barbed wire in it's structure. Fortunately, the gloves and small pair of wire cutters he had managed to obtain from the carpentry workshop should prevent most of the potential damage. The only major concern was the spotlights which scanned the grounds at night. Unfortunately, he had no way sure-fire way of avoiding them. He would just have to hope for the best.

Then, of course, there was the issue of where to go. The prison was bordered by the Everfree forest, for crying out loud. The only side that wasn't surrounded by deadly flora and fauna was the single entrance and exit, which was heavily guarded. Equestria's premier prison was a fortress, using the world around it to form an impenetrable defence. You may as well have stuck it on a rock in the middle of the ocean, it would have gotten on just as well. Unfortunately, he had been forced to concede the easiest escape route was over the southern wall, into the heart of the forest. The prison library had enough books for him to have a basic understanding of how to survive inside Everfree, but he was still going to get out of that forest the first chance he got.

With that thought in mind, doctor Neuron Probe settled down to await his opportunity. 





He sprinted across the courtyard, cursing his luck. His plan had gone wrong almost instantly. Some fool down the hallway had done something to rile up the guards, mere hours before he had scheduled his own escape to begin. That had meant an increased guard that night, someone checking his cell practically every few minutes. It had destroyed his chances of slipping into his tunnel unnoticed. What was worse, they had started to check the cells in a thorough search that morning. His tunnel would have been discovered, and the last years-worth of labour rendered obsolete. He himself would likely be moved to somewhere with higher security. Out of desperation, he had been forced to take advantage of the guard's momentary distraction by a particularly rowdy inmate, flee into his tunnel, and hope for the best.

The alarm had gone off almost instantly. Now, as he reached the perimeter fence, he could hear the shouts of the guards growing louder.

'They're right behind me!' he realised. He practically threw himself onto the fence and began to climb. There were no second chances here. He wouldn't have another chance to escape. Gritting his teeth, he pulled himself up to the top of the fence and made a space to climb through the wire barrier with the wire cutters. He roughly pushed the vicious spiked metal aside with a gloved hoof and practically dove through the gap. In his reckless haste, he slammed a hind leg into the barbed wire and screamed out in pain. The pain overwhelmed his mind for a moment, and he fell to the floor outside the prison in a heap. A fresh spike of pain, this time from both of his forelegs. As his daze receded, he struggled to his feet. He didn't seem to have broken anything. He started to half run, half limp towards the forest. There were trees. Trees meant shelter.

He struggled along in pain along the clearest path through the forest he could see. The relentless noise of pursuing guards drove him on. He was running on desperation, adrenaline, and little else. Eventually, lungs heaving and legs burning, he looked around once more, desperate for a decent hiding spot. A large bush was growing a few meters away, dark green with red berries. Hoping that it wasn't poisonous, he practically toppled into it, wincing at the protest of his bleeding leg. A few minutes later, the first group of guards galloped past. In their haste, they had failed to see the blood trail. The next wave of guards still sounded a little way off. However, now the barking of dogs had joined in the din emanating from one of Equestria's few prisons. He couldn't stay here, the dogs would smell him instantly. He had to move. He dragged himself out of the bush, hissing in pain, and slowly headed deeper into the forest, crossing every stream he found to confuse the scent-tracking hounds.

After what seemed like hours of limping through water, doubling back and hiding from search parties, the yells and barks finally faded away, the search now heading in the opposite direction. He knew that he was lost, but that didn't matter at the moment. What did matter was finding shelter. A broad-leaved plant and a vine had allowed him to create a makeshift bandage for his leg. It seemed the wound had finally clotted, because no more blood was seeping out from underneath. He closed his eyes for a moment, and allowed himself to relax. He took some much needed deep breaths.

'I'm free.'

The thought echoed through the stallion's mind. He revelled in the knowledge. The escape hadn't gone as well as planned, but that was irrelevant now. He was free.

He would have to lie low for a while, of course. No point in breaking out if the first thing he did was get himself arrested again. No, he would lie low. Not for too long, though. He had work to do. His hypothesis needed finalising. Investigation. Testing. That would be the hardest part. But then, he already knew where she was. The newspapers had been very helpful with that. Retrieving his little research subject shouldn't be too difficult. He would find her, and prove his theory. This would be ground-breaking, a revelation in the world of psychology. And after he had no more use for her, he would of course take his revenge. It would be slow, he decided. And painful. Just what she deserved.

He opened his eyes. Smiling, the doctor limped on into the dark forest.





Scowling, the prison warden looked over the file of the escaped convict from that morning. First they found some guy was selling drugs during a surprise inspection, and then this. What a morning. What a headache. The search parties had been given the slip in Everfree, and the escapee was now at large. 

Neuron Probe, former shrink and psychologist. The guy had apparently been obsessed with one of his patients, and had performed some pretty nasty experiments on her. His eyes widened in horror as he read the details. That poor filly...he frowned. The name was bugging him. He had read it before, he was sure of it...Hmm. In any case, he had sent a bulletin out, and sent a message to the ex-patient's local police force. It was possible that Probe would try to contact his ex-patient...or worse. Revenge was a clear possibility, and a rather likely one at that. Especially considering that this Pinkamena Pie had single-hoofedly destroyed his life, sending him from promising psychologist to hated criminal. 

What sort of a name was Pinkamena, anyway? It sounded like a pretty big mouthful. Poor girl must have been teased like crazy at school. If she was anything like his daughter, she would have probably shortened it at some point. Pink Pie? Pinkie Pie? Yeah, that sounde- Oh. OH. 

"Oh, horseapples." he swore, and reached for the telephone. He dialled a number, and waited impatiently for somepony to pick up. 

"Canterlot guard? I think I've got a national security issue here..."
> Bad news
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Rainbow! Quit nappin' and get back to work!"

"Oh, come on, AJ! I just cleared that entire row!"

Glaring at the pegasus, Applejack barked out a quick retort. "And while you were doing that, me an' P-Surprise cleared an entire grove!"

Gulping, Rainbow looked behind the irate farmer. Sure enough,  the other of the two groves scheduled for harvesting that day was already clear.

"Uh...I'm only one pony?" The excuse was a flimsy one at best, and her hesitant tone made it clear that Rainbow didn't believe it would work herself.

"Ah seem to recall somethin' bout you sayin' you'd be faster than ten?"

Rainbow winced. 

"...Ok, maybe that was an exaggeration. Besides, I'm not on my A-game today...everything's been pretty weird today, ya know?"

Applejack sighed. "Ah know." Wordlessly, the pair turned to look at an oblivious pink pony, who was happily zipping around trees and bucking all the apples they contained into pre-placed baskets. Every now and again, Big Mac would come along with his wagon, load up the filled baskets, and haul them back to the barn for storage. Applejack sighed again. It had been a weird day alright. First, Pinkie had announced she literally had voices in her head, and if that wasn't enough a pinkie-sense doozy had struck soon after. 

Personally, AJ reckoned the doozy was Pinkie's little revelation, but the pony in question was adamant it was something else. In any case, nothing else of note had happened that morning, eventually resulting in the group splitting up. When Applejack had started heading back to Sweet Apple Acres, She had invited Pinkie...and Pinkamena...and Surprise...boy that was going to be confusing...She had invited the...trio to come along, in an attempt to get to know the two personalities. The sooner she got used to this, the better, she reckoned. Rainbow had invited herself along, and so they had left the library together, leaving behind the others. 

When they had reached the farm, they had gone inside and had a round of cider to relax. There had been a bit of conversation, which only really went over the facts AJ already knew:
1. Pinkie had 'multiple personalities', which essentially meant there were three minds living in the same body.
2. This wasn't harmful to anypony involved. In fact, from what little she had seen of 'Pinkamena', it seemed they were actually helping her keep her head on straight(ish).
3. This had been kept a secret due to some sort of bad experience in the past, and Twilight had only recently found out by accident.

Soon after that, AJ had needed to get started on her work for the day. Her friends had volunteered to help, and so here they were. As they watched, Pinkie- or was it Surprise?- finished the last row of her assigned patch, did a little celebratory jig, and trotted towards the pair. 
"All done!" she beamed.

"Thanks, uh...Pinkie?"

"Yeah? What is it?" asked Pinkie cocking her head to one side.

"Uh, nothin', ah was just checkin' to, er, see who ah was...talkin' to..." she said, rather awkwardly.

Pinkie giggled at Applejack's explanation. "It's ok!" she beamed.

"Actually, that's a good point. I know Pinkamena's got that weird hair-floppy thing, but how do you tell the difference between you and Surprise, Pinkie?" asked Rainbow. Applejack's ears perked up. This was something she wanted to know as well.

"Well, I'm me and she's Surprise, silly! I know who I am, and I'm not Surprise, because I'm Pinkie Pie!"

"...Riiight...." Rainbow facehoofed. "Pinkie, I meant how can WE tell the difference?"

"Oh! Well, you should have said, because you said you and not I, but not me I you I because I was saying what you said from you point of view. Ok, SO I'm Pinkie-" without warning, the pink pony slumped. But, before Applejack had a chance to react, she had bounced back up. "And I'm Surprise. Can you tell the difference now?"

"Uh...no." said Rainbow, rather bluntly.

"Oh...How 'bout now?"

"No."

"What about now? Can you tell the difference now?" 

Rainbow groaned. "No!"

This went on for quite a while.





"...And this one's a intermediate-level book, slightly complicated but there's a decent synopsis in chapter eighteen...Oh, and you'll probably need these two as well, to understand the background details of the area..."

Rarity eyed the growing stack of books in front of her. She had wanted to know more about Pinkie's condition, but this...this was an entire course in psychology! It would take her months to get though them all, and Twilight wasn't even finished yet! 

"Um...Twilight, darling?"

"Yes Rarity?" replied Twilight absent-mindedly, searching the shelves for 'Mechanics of the Mind: Volume 6'.

"I think I've got enough books here for a..." Rarity trailed off, seeing Twilight turn around with the largest book yet in her telekinesis. The look on her friend's face was enough to finally snap Twilight out of her daydream-like state. She took in the stack of books beside Rarity, and realised for the first time that she was going a little overboard. Well, more than a bit- the stack in question was higher than the pony it was intended for.

"Whoa...Oh, er, sorry Rarity...I guess I got a little carried away there, huh?"

"Er...yes, quite." said Rarity. "I don't suppose there's a few here I could cope without?"

A few minutes later, and the pile of books had been practically cut in half. There was still a large amount of reading to be done, but at least this was more manageable. From somewhere close by, Spike's voice came calling: "Twiiiliight! Letter from the Princess!"

"In here, Spike!" Twilight called back. Soon after, the baby dragon entered the room and handed her the scroll. "Wonder what it's about? I can't think of anything..." wondered Twilight as her magic unfurled the scroll, Rarity and Spike looking on in mild interest. As she scanned the page though, this curiosity soon gave way to horror. Eyes wide, she looked around in horror.

"It's...It's...I'vegottafindPinkiequick!" And with that, she teleported away, leaving behind a very concerned, and rather confused, pair of friends.





On the whole, Sweet Apple Acres was a calm and peaceful place. Very little that happened was in any way strange, just the way Applejack liked it. She, Rainbow and Pinkie were relaxing, taking a break after a fair few hours of solid hard work. The farmyard was very peaceful...for about five minutes. Then a panicking princess teleported in with some rather terrible news. Things like that tend to ruin the mood. The trio shot to their hooves at the sight of Twilight in such a state, and trotted over in alarm.

"What is it, Twilight? What's wrong?" asked Pinkie, fearful of the reply.

With a grim face, Twilight wordlessly levitated her letter into Pinkie's hooves. Pinkie began to read:

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

It is with a heavy heart that I inform you of concerning events which transpired earlier today. This morning, a unicorn by the name of Neuron Probe escaped from the prison HMP Everfree, and was last seen heading into the Everfree forest. This does not concern you directly, but this is a very personal matter for your friend Pinkie Pie. I am unsure how much she has told you of her past, and I will not disclose details for fear that I would inadvertently reveal secrets she does not wish told, but know that her last encounter with this stallion ended in his arrest. I fear that he may seek vengeance against her. As such, I ask you to notify Pinkie Pie IMMEDIATELY, and to support her through this troubled time. 

Also, I am sending a contingent of the royal guard to Ponyville. As the bearer of the element of laughter, a threat against Pinkie is also a matter of national security. They will be as unobtrusive as possible, but will keep a close eye on things. Their primary duties are to provide an escort for Pinkie, and also to search the surrounding area for the fugitive. I hope this will not prove too disruptive. I know that you and your friends are entirely capable of defending yourselves, but deploying guard is protocol for situations like this- I must ensure the safety of the bearers. Please, try and get Pinkie to open up about her past, if she hasn't done so already, to both you and the other bearers. It will make things a lot clearer for you. 

Your friend and mentor always, 

Celestia

P.S. As soon as I am able, I will try to visit Ponyville myself. Also, I will see if my sister can visit Pinkie in her dreams tonight.

Within the first line, Pinkie was shaking badly. Each word only served to push her deeper into hysterics. At some point, the letter fell from her hooves as she stared into space. All around her, spectres of the past began creeping in. The memories of long, sleepless nights came rushing back. The sounds of machines whirring, hooves on tiles, and that voice. That terrible, cold, uncaring voice.  The medication, the tests, the therapy, all of it came rushing back. Now darkness was swallowing her up, pulling her back into the nightmares of years past. The nightmares that had returned. There was a brief sense of something hitting her on the back, something solid and large, but the feeling was numb and hazy. Somepony close by was screaming. 

Just before she sank completely into oblivion, Pinkie realised it was her. 






Darkness. It surrounded her completely. She tried to move, but found herself immobile. A light snapped on. It lit up her surroundings in a dim light, allowing for a view of the machinery surrounding her. She knew this place. She screamed.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

"Hold still now, Ms Pie" The words themselves were polite, but the voice spat them like acid. She struggled. The thick leather straps around her limbs tightened, pinning her to the metal table.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

The scream echoed, but received no response. The impassive face of her tormentor loomed unexpectedly into her vision, a hoof reaching for the lever...

And then the good doctor found himself punted into the air by a strong pair of hooves. He shot upwards at impossible speeds. A scream of rage was snatched from his lips as he was then ploughed back into the ground, rammed by a charging pegasus. As his body dissolved into nothing, Pinkamena sighed in relief, and started undoing Pinkie's bonds.

"Come on. He can't hurt you. This is just a bad dream." She said, in an attempt to comfort her scared friend. She worked briskly, and the straps soon fell away, disappearing soon after. However, Pinkie refused to let herself be consoled in the face of this new horror. 

"But he's out there again!" Pinkie screamed back. "He's going to take me away again!" Pinkamena stood there calmly, barely batting an eyelid and the gale-like blast of Pinkie's terrified voice. She countered it with her own, calm tone.

"Not gonna happen, Pinkie. We've got help this time. He'll be found before he gets anywhere near here." 

"He's in a forest that's really dangerous and full of monsters, and if you think about it he's pretty likely to be eaten up by a big old manticore!" added Surprise, coming in to land.  She acted as happy as ever, but the cheerfulness in her voice was muted, betraying her own worry. Her yellow mane was semi-deflated, much like Pinkie's. Pinkamena flashed a grateful look at Surprise. Pinkie took another shuddering breath, fighting down the by now familiar sense of panic that was becoming so common recently. Sensing the slight shift in Pinkie's mood, Pinkamena pressed further.

"We've got friends, the Princesses and a ton of royal guards on our side. Heck, Surprise is right as well- The Everfree's gonna chew him up if he stays in there for too long. And if he leaves the forest, he'll just be spotted and rounded up faster than a rainboom. We're going to be fine, Pinkie. I know this is a shock, I'm a little scared too, but we're safe. You can relax."

The look in Pinkie's eyes told her she was close. Just a little more. But what could...an idea popped into Pinkamena's head, and she grinned.

"I pinkie promise that that creep isn't getting anywhere near us." A couple of gestures sealed the promise, and a group hug followed shortly after. Around them, the last remnants of the nightmare collapsed into a calm white mist. Then the trio started floating up and up,  rising up into consciousness... Pinkie opened her eyes, and found herself in her bed at Sugarcube Corner, looking up at the ceiling. Turning her head, her blue eyes were greeted with the sight of Twilight sitting in a wooden chair, reading something. Beside her, in another chair, Rarity was also reading, a hefty-looking book hovering in front of her. Applejack was pacing nervously near the foot of the bed. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were...not here. Huh. Wonder where they were...oh! Maybe they went to Zecora's to get some medicine for her? That would make sense. She did kinda pass out. Come to think of it, why did they always go to Zecora for treating illnesses? There was a perfectly good medical centre in town, after all. Plus, doctors gave out lollipops. The last time Zecora had been in contact with delicious sugary snacks, she had been taking Nightmare Moon's tribute on Nightmare Night, which was the exact opposite. Thief! What did they do with all those sweets anyway? Princess Luna hadn't been around to eat it, being on the moon and all. Or maybe Princess Celestia had sent it all to her in a care package! Oh wow, that must have been awesome. But it was wasted on such a meanie-pants like Nightmare Moon. Couldn't they have sent her apples instead, and let the foals keep all their goodies? How much did a package to the moon cost, anyway? It must be a lot of bits. 

Further musings were interrupted by a certain librarian noticing Pinkie's open eyes. "She's awake!" gasped Twilight. Almost immediately, the bed was crowded by Pinkie's understandably concerned friends, voicing various questions about her well-being.

"Uh...Pinkie?"

"Yes Applejack?" replied Pinkie cheerfully, getting out of bed.

"Are you all right, sugarcube? Ah mean, that was an awful big shock for yeh...and an awful lotta screamin'..."

"Yikes...we should probably reconsider that no psychiatrists rule..."winced Pinkamena

"I'm ok now! Pinkamena and Surprise beat up dream-doctor, and real doctor's not getting anywhere near me!" Pinkie shrugged off that little issue, shoving it away for the time being. There would be plenty of time to sort that out later.

Everypony present gave a sigh of relief at Pinkie's declaration, even if they were a little confused by the 'dream-doctor' part. "I'm glad you're alright, Pinkie. You gave us quite a shock there." smiled Twilight.

"Yes, we were. Quite understandable though, knowing a monster like that is on the loose." added Rarity.

"Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy went to see Zecora, to try and get some medicine to wake you up. You've been out for hours." said Twilight. 

"I knew it!" cheered Pinkie loudly, startling her friends. Sherlock Pie strikes again!

"Oh oh oh! Ask about the care package!"

"Oh yeah! Twilight?"

"Yes Pinkie?"

"How much does a care package to the moon cost?"

"...What?"
> Guards and Armbands
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The days following Probe's breakout were tense, despite the generally positive outlook of those affected. Apart from a few relapses in Pinkie's mood, everything was surprisingly cheerful. The Cakes were rather perturbed by royal guards suddenly setting up the spare room as a miniature outpost of sorts, especially when they heard why Pinkie suddenly needed said protection. Namely, that a revenge-driven unicorn was likely headed her way. They had not yet been informed about Pinkie's 'headmates', but were nevertheless now fully aware of the danger posed by Pinkie's old psychologist. Of course, this didn't mean that they opposed the measures- if anything, they were glad that Pinkie was being protected. 

The patrolling royal guards quickly became a common sight around Ponyville, and of course everyone wanted to know why they were there. Twilight, in a public announcement, gave the same, slightly edited story as the Cakes had been given, and the townspeople as a whole had immediately pledged their support. Some had even volunteered to help out the guards as additional units. Pinkie was literally a friend to everyone, and friends stand by one another in times of trouble. Soon after the announcement, the first wanted posters were going up, depicting the scowling stallion for all to see. The news coverage was also decent- although certain details were being kept under wraps, before long everyone in Equestria was going to have heard of the breakout.

There were around 30 Canterlot guards in Ponyville, who were split into three squads, each with its own leading officer. The whole group was overseen by lieutenant Swift Strike. Lieutenant Strike was a unicorn, with a dark brown coat and black mane. His cutie mark was of two crossed, silver spears. A lighter grey outline gave the impression that they were either shining or glowing brightly. Like most guards, he almost never seemed to remove his armor, the one notable exception being at Pinkie's 'Welcome to Ponyville' party, a joint celebration for each guard that had come to the town. The party pony had insisted that he 'relax for a bit and enjoy the party'. Much to the surprise of those ponies and guards unfamiliar with him, he readily agreed. It was Twilight's belief that this mindset, which was so compatible with Pinkie's, was one of the reasons Celestia had chosen him to lead the Ponyville squad.

In Canterlot, Lieutenant Strike had perhaps one of the best reputations in the Royal Guard, but rumors and gossip about his exploits had long since rendered him a tough, no-nonsense military stallion in the eyes of many. Granted, he acted in such a mind-set when in combat situations, but in more relaxed circumstances he was actually fairly laid back. He was well known for his skill with a spear, even being able to conjure and fight an enemy with multiple so-called 'mage spears'.

Mage spears were magical constructs, magic-formed weaponry similar to shields in composition. A single construct was fairly easy to create, requiring a similar magic output to the basic shield spell. The upsides of using them included the fact that while a regular spear was static in shape, a mage spear could be reformed and shaped to adapt to changing battle conditions. Plus, an enemy couldn't steal it and use it themselves. Despite this, most guards preferred to use weapons of wood or steel, physical objects that simply didn't take as much effort to wield. However, the more one tried to create at once, the more divided their attention had to be to keep them stable and wield them. An unstable construct could shatter, or simply dissipate. Also, multiple constructs were typically created with magic split between them, giving them less strength individually. And, like shields, they required a constant supply of magic. As such, they were taxing to use in long, drawn out battles.

During the Changeling siege of Canterlot, Swift Strike successfully helped defend an orphanage by wielding TEN simultaneously. 

Currently, he was using his impressive magical skills to deliver sweet treats to various tables in Sugarcube Corner, along with corporal Quick Shot, a pegasus who was skilled in archery. The pair were currently on duty as Pinkie's personal guard, a position that was on rotation between them and Corporals Brute Force and Iron Hammer, who were both Earth ponies. They were also currently in the dark as to the true nature of Probe's grudge, as were the other guards, although the four did know that something was being kept from them. Princess Celestia had simply said that it wasn't up to her to disclose that piece of information. As a result, they knew only that Pinkie had once been in psychiatric care, and that her treatment somehow resulted in the arrest of one of the doctors.

Working in the bakery, the two military stallions were in their armor, but had deactivated the disguising enchantments in an attempt to avoid completely intimidating the customers. How the personal guard had become waiters was not entirely clear. As far as they could make out, their charge had branded them a pair of 'super-frowny grumpy-pants', used barely understandable and high-speed chatter to somehow press-gang them into service, before finally giving them aprons and the orders for tables nine and twelve.

"I still don't see why we're doing this," grumbled Quick Shot as Swift Strike returned to the counter from taking an order. "We're meant to be guards, not waiters!" The pair were currently stationed behind the counter, every now and again leaving to take the order of a new customer.

"We were assigned to keep an eye on the Element of Laughter. As long as we do so, it doesn't matter what we are. And we did commandeer the spare room to set up surveillance. If you don't like it, try thinking of this as paying back the owners for allowing us to do so," replied Swift Strike, using his magic to pick up two plates of assorted muffins for table six.

"Easy for you to say- I bet you're actually enjoying this..." muttered Quick Shot. 

"You know, I think that could count as being rude to a superior officer..." grinned Swift Strike.

"No, I was complaining to a childhood friend. It's only talking to a superior if I say 'sir' at the end," stated Quick Shot, now smirking. The two had indeed been friends since they were young colts, sharing a strong friendship which had easily survived the potential tensions of being different ranks in the guard. "Are you, though? Enjoying this, I mean."

Swift Strike rolled his eyes at the pegasus. "You got me," he said as he moved off to deliver the muffins to a pegasus and her unicorn daughter. "Makes a nice change from doing drills, you know?"

As he left, the bell above the shop door rung, announcing the entrance of a new customer. Quick Shot straightened up as he recognised the Element of Loyalty. 

"Hiya Dashie!" called the pink pony at his side. Now, all guards were trained to remain steadfast in the face of danger and react calmly to surprise attacks. Unfortunately, this did not prevent Quick Shot from jumping in shock.





As she entered Sugarcube corner, Rainbow Dash was instantly greeted by Pinkie Pie (probably). Judging by the reaction of the guard next to Pinkie, she probably hadn't been there before Rainbow had opened the door. Sniggering slightly, she turned her focus to Pinkie, who was waving frantically at her. Rainbow frowned in confusion. For some reason, Pinkie was wearing a yellow armband around her right foreleg, the one she was waving with. 

"Hey Pinkie! Say, what's with the armband?" she asked, trotting up to the counter. At this, Pinkie jumped over the counter and leant in close. 

"It's to tell you who I am! And I'm Surprise!" she whispered, giggling slightly.

"Oh, I get it," said Rainbow as Surprise hopped back behind the counter. "This cause of what I said the other day at the farm?"

"Yup!" beamed Surprise. "A different colour armband each. Rarity made them for us!"

"Huh...So is she ok with...uh...you-know-what?" asked Rainbow, mindful of the guard's attentive ear.

Surprise shrugged, thinking back to the awkward exchange that had occurred. "I dunno. I think she's probably ok with you-know-what, at least if I'm talking about the same you-know-what that you are, which I'm pretty fairly sure that I am. Probably," she said nonchalantly, seemingly oblivious to the confusion it caused.

"Uh...great...?" said Rainbow. A moment of silence passed, during which the pegasus remembered why exactly she had visited the bakery to begin with. "So, er, could I have, like, something for the road? We're setting up a pretty heavy rainstorm for tonight, and it's going to take ages, so I need a snack."

"Sure thing! We've got everything in stock. Oh, except muffins. I think we've sold all of those, so we don't have everything in stock. Apart from muffins though, we've got all of the usual stuff," replied Surprise, looking for something suitable. After a few seconds she held up a couple of frosted cupcakes. "How about these? Do you like them? They were made fresh this morning!"

"Sure!" said Rainbow. "They look great. Thanks!" she smiled. Surprise boxed up the purchase whilst Rainbow dug out the required payment.  "Thanks, S-Pinkie. Catch ya later!" said Rainbow, wincing slightly at the slip. Eyes darted to the nearby guard, only to find that he had moved to take care of a gesturing customer. Breathing a small sigh of relief, Rainbow headed towards the door. 





As she flew towards the weather office, Rainbow Dash reflected on the recent change in her life. Strangely, the things that were the biggest problems were also somewhat subtle. For example, despite the revelation she still treated Pinkie the same as ever, and vice-versa. However, the multiple personalities had messed up her interactions with Pinkie in various ways. Whereas before, she always knew who she was talking to, she was now second-guessing herself. And although she tried to stop it getting to her, it was still frustrating. How many times now had she struck up a conversation, only to discover she wasn't talking to who she thought she was? Pinkie and Surprise had their differences, but it still took her a while to spot the cues. Unlike Twilight, who seemed to do it almost instantly. At least Pinkamena's mane went flat, but that wasn't always a comfort- it brought up some unsettling memories concerning Pinkie's 'episode' on her birthday. And then there was the niggling doubts- how many of her memories in truth featured Surprise, and not Pinkie? How many experiences did they truly share, and for how many had Pinkie been a mere spectator?

Still, she mused, it wasn't all bad. Ignoring the details, at the end of the day she had made two new friends. That was always a good thing. And those identification issues were hopefully over with, if the armband thing worked. All they had to worry about now was that psychotic monster of a stallion loose in the Everfree. And between the guards, the townsfolk and, well, the Everfree, he hopefully wouldn't be a threat for long.

Now, few things got Rainbow's blood boiling than a friend in danger. She was the Element of Loyalty, after all. So when she arrived at the office, and found that that the weather factory had gotten the order slightly wrong, she knew exactly what to do with the surplus thunderclouds. Sure, it may have been a little irresponsible to just shunt the extra clouds into the Everfree, but it wasn't like anyone was complaining. In fact, there had been a rather large cheer when they had sent off the small but potent storm off into the notorious forest.





Neuron Probe trudged through the Everfree forest. Every now and again, a strange call would emerge from the foliage. Ignoring them, he pressed on. Every now and again, a twinge of pain would run through his injured leg, now hastily bandaged with vines and a few large leaves. The feeling was dull now, though, and thus easier to ignore. The scorched patch of flank, on the other hoof, less so. Still, that was more recent. He growled in frustration. The cave had been the only decent shelter for what felt like miles. In retrospect, it was obvious it would be occupied.

That didn't mean the dragon had been any less of a shock, though.

Still, he had gotten away. And if the lack of dogs barking was any indication, his original pursuers had given up as well, at least for the moment, no doubt discouraged by the forest and it's inhabitants. The respite was, frankly, a relief. And shelter was thankfully not as big a concern as it could be- the sky, or at least what could be seen through the canopy, was clear. The chances of any sort of rain were nil, even if you consider the Everfree's erratic weather patterns. Without clouds, the worst that could occur was some wind.

As if on cue, the Ponyville weather team's 'present' arrived. 
> Interlude: Plotting in the Forest
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The cave was more or less adequate for his purposes. It was not as big as he would have preferred, but it was large enough to provide both shelter and space to work in. From the outside, it looked quite similar to that...other one, which had unfortunately been...occupied. There was little in the way of food or water, but he had at least managed to forage some edible berries, and found a small stream a tolerable distance away to the north.

The more obvious downsides of his new residence included the distinct lack of both lighting and furnishings. Not to mention he didn't even have a quill and ink, let alone paper. He had always known that this undertaking would be difficult, of course, but that didn't mean he was looking forward to stooping to common thievery to acquire resources. Neuron Probe snorted in distaste at the thought. Well, there was little he could do about it. It would all be worth it, in the end.

Putting aside thoughts of his upcoming activities for the time being, Probe focused on the task at hoof. Namely, removing the magic suppressor so it could hinder him no more. As with treating his wound, he was forced to use the most primitive of tools. In this case, that meant a rock. A few strong strikes with the rock were enough to crack the embedded gem, the shock causing the enchantments to fail. With it no longer magically held in place, he was soon able to pry the accursed device off. 

He studied the metal band for a moment, as it lay discarded on the floor. The central red gem, which had originally been used as a battery to fuel the enchantments, had a deep split down the middle. Sparks of residual magic crackled periodically in the wide, unnatural gap. The metal band itself was covered in scratches and scuff marks, a testament to his recent activities. A quick magical scan revealed that the enchantments themselves had been dissipated completely, most likely by a magic surge generated by him cracking the battery gem. He sighed. The gem was, sadly, likely to be no longer usable in any significant capacity. He could try to break it in two, perhaps, and hope the resulting halves would not be too small for any useful application. Maybe they would still be serviceable as minor batteries or components in other magical devices.

With that thought in mind, he levitated the suppressor over to one side of the cavern for safekeeping. As he did so, he felt a momentary thrill at the feeling of his magic no longer being contained. He quickly fought it down though; this was no time to celebrate. He still had work to do. The most pressing concern, of course, was the need to construct some shielding to deter scrying and other magical locating methods. The wild, ambient magic of the Everfree helped in that regard. The magic field which had created the unique environment created interference in most magical means of communication, as well as the all-important locating spells. Unfortunately, the protection was not perfect- a dedicated mage could find ways around that particular hurdle. However, even as he pondered the Everfree's unique magic field, he was already preparing the spells that would most assuredly protect him. They had come in most useful during his original experiments, when he had been in constant danger of discovery. Now it was just a matter of remembering how to correctly apply them after so long...





A few hours later, and he judged his defenses to be sufficient. For the time being, at least- when he moved onto the later stages of the plan, he would obviously need to improve them to avoid being disturbed in his experiments. But for now, he could turn his attention to other things.

Such as the howling coming from outside, for example. Cautiously, Probe crept to the mouth of the cave, and peered outside.  The scene he saw confirmed his suspicions: Timberwolves. To be precise, three of them. They had clearly been separated from the rest of their pack, though whether this was accidental or an intentional abandonment he could not tell.

As he watched, another inhabitant of the forest came to investigate the noise. The Timberwolves visibly tensed as the noises of something crashing through the dense undergrowth came closer in origin. And then, a Manticore leapt into the clearing outside the cave. The two parties growled at each other fiercely. Probe held back a gulp- the slightest noise could bring some very dangerous attention to him.

Suddenly, the Manticore threw itself forward with an angry roar. The Timberwolves responded in kind, and soon a fierce battle developed. The Timberwolves clawed and bit savagely, and the Manticore easily used its own claws and barbed tail to reciprocate the damage. The Manticore may have been outnumbered, but its opponents were more fragile than itself. Overall, it was a fairly even match. 

Eventually, a solitary wolf loped off into the undergrowth, all other combatants either dead or near enough. Judging the area to be now relatively safe, Probe approached the fallen beasts, ignoring the occasional jolt of pain from his leg. Some movement caught his eye, and he turned his head to see one of the timberwolves shuddering slightly, it's fading magic attempting to pull itself back together. It was too far gone, however. It simply didn't have the energy to heal it's wounds.

An idea bloomed in Probe's mind. A devious, ingenious idea. He rushed back into the cave, and soon reemerged with his broken suppressor. Working quickly, he discarded most of the wooden fragments- he wouldn't have enough energy for an adult body. A younger, smaller one however...

A hasty examination of the magic held in the Timberwolf's body led to an equally hastily created animating enchantment being placed on the metal band and hooked up to the damaged energy-storing gem. The resulting creation still sparked warning. Thinking fast, Probe jammed a suitable chunk of Timberwolf in the gap. He reasoned that if the wood was hardy enough to conduct such a powerful animation spell, then it could surely be used as a conduit for other forms of magic. In this case, bridging the gap in the battery gem. And if it didn't work, so what? It wasn't as if he had anything to lose.

Placing his construction in the wreckage of the wolf's chest, Probe stood back and charged up the gem. The sparking was still present, though not as pronounced as before. The extra energy was enough for the body to be reconstructed, albeit on a smaller scale. When the process was finished, a rather exhausted Timberwolf adolescent lay on its side on the ground. The former suppressor was now being used to help keep it alive, with the Timberwolf fragment having integrated with both it and the rest of the body. Rather fittingly, it was positioned over where the heart of a regular wolf would be located. It still sparked occasionally, but that was acceptable. Probe wondered whether the device would need to be kept charged once the Timberwolf had full recovered. At the moment, it was obvious that without it the Timberwolf would not have enough energy to survive. And by the looks of things, the device was now as much a part of the Timberwolf as the rest of its body. It could most likely go either way. Maybe he could modify the animation enchantment to create a sense of loyalty towards him, just in case? He knew it had probably been done before. Golem creation wasn't unheard of in Equestria, just very rare. And all he would be doing was essentially modifying one that was already made.

Weakly, the Timberwolf struggled to its legs, and made its way to Probe's side. It made no attempt to attack him- it obviously knew its continued life was in his hooves. Probe grinned. It looked like the suppressor was good for something after all. He now had a new and most welcome facet to his security.

Chuckling in delight, Probe made his way back into the cave, the Timberwolf following its new master on slowly strengthening legs.
> Musings and Apologies
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey Rarity!"

"Hmm?" Rarity looked up from her book. Sweetie Belle stood in the kitchen doorway. As she watched, her little sister tilted her head slightly.

"What's that?"

"Oh, this? It's just something that I found at the library," smiled Rarity. Sweetie Belle looked at the cover.

"'Delving the mind'. Huh... is this one of those psyco-thingy books?"

"It's a psychology book, yes," replied Rarity mildly.

"Is it any good? Come to think of it, why are you reading it, anyway? I thought you only read books about fashion and love."

"I..." Rarity hesitated. This was a problem. She couldn't really explain why she was really reading the book. Pinkie Promises were serious business. But on the other hand, her little sister had a point. It was out of her usual tastes, and had no relation whatsoever to fashion that would facilitate a lie about getting inspiration. So how to satisfy Sweetie Belle's curiosity? "I...suppose it just caught my eye. It's good to branch out and learn about new things every once in a while, Sweetie Belle. And it is a good book, thank you."

"Cool!" exclaimed Sweetie Belle. "Hey, can I borrow it when you're done? I could take it to the clubhouse and we could try being psychics!"

"Psychologists, darling," corrected Rarity, smiling a little at the mistake. It was a nice change from all the frowning she had been doing recently. "As for taking it to the clubhouse, I suppose it would be alright, but do please be careful with it- this is a library book, not one of my own."

"Alright!" agreed Sweetie Belle happily.

A few hours of reading later, Rarity relinquished the book to her younger sister with only the slightest of hesitations. She couldn't see any way a typical crusader disaster could unfold from this after all, but on the other hoof stranger things had happened before. The time the crusaders had, on a particularly boring day, found a book on philosophy sprang to mind. Nopony was quite sure what happened in the clubhouse that day, but the fact that all three crusaders had ended up running through the town screaming 'forty-two' at the top of their lungs was rather concerning. It was probably just as well the three had eventually fallen unconscious and lost all recollection of the days events. 

In the end, Rarity thought it would be better to satisfy the inevitable, unstoppable curiosity sooner rather than later. After all, what could go wrong?



 

After giving the psychology book to her sister, Rarity decided to go on a walk through town to clear her head. As she walked, with no clear destination in mind, she pondered Pinkie's recent revelation, as well as the new viewpoint Twilight's books had given her on the matter- which was quite likely more well-balanced. It was still a rather jarring thought to think of these personalities as 'separate' entities, but her own observations had more or less proven that point. As for the psychological implications, well...Pinkie seemed happy enough. Plus, there was the fact that it was Pinkie Pie involved, which rather distorted the definition of normality. 

Then there was the issue of this escaped psychologist. By all accounts, he seemed an extremely dangerous individual. She did hope that the Royal Guard would close the matter quickly. Preferably, though a lady such as herself would never admit it, by finding his severely mutilated corpse. Part of her did worry about the Guard's...effectiveness, considering all the national threats they had failed to solve. And that the Elements of Harmony had, come to think of it.  Seriously, if it came down to the girls fighting this stallion, Rarity would not be subscribing to the equestrian ideal of 'love and tolerance'. In this case, the Rainbow Dash method of 'beat them up and ask questions later' seemed a nice fit for the situation. She deeply regretted her initial reaction now. It must have hurt Pinkie quite a lot...but then again, Pinkie had hurt her as well...

"Howdy, Rarity!" Rarity looked up at the familiar voice, and found herself standing in Ponyville's marketplace. A few meters away, Applejack was waving from the apple stall. As she trotted over, Applejack began speaking again, a hint of curiosity in her voice. "Are ya alright, Rarity? Ya were lookin' mighty distracted."

"I'm fine, Applejack. I was just thinking about everything that has happened."

"You mean with Pinkie?" asked Applejack. Rarity nodded. Applejack leant back. "Ah'm probably not the best pony to talk to, but Ah reckon Ah've got mah thoughts straight. Wanna talk 'bout it?"

Rarity shook her head. "I'm afraid it's not really something you can help with, Applejack. It's just all this has rather...shaken my world view. You know how I was at first. It's all a matter of getting myself to adjust. Pinkie Pie seems happy enough, and Twilight's books are helping, it's just..." she trailed off.

"Jus' the whole thing gettin to ya? Like, how weird it is, even for Pinkie?"

"More than that. I think...I think part of it is the shock, yes, and how I initially thought about the whole thing plays into it as well, but...It's just that...well, she didn't trust us. Even after all that we've been through together. I think that's what hurts the most about all of this."

Applejack sighed. "Ah know the feelin'. Problem is, Pinkie had a darn good reason for keepin' that secret. After all she's been through, Ah can't rightly fault her for not tellin' us. Sides, our reactions weren't exactly the best."

Rarity winced. "Yes, I know. I feel terrible about that now. I've been trying to make up for it, you know- she...they...oh, whatever the word is, came into my boutique the other day. They wanted three armbands of all things, each a different colour. I think it was to help us tell them apart.  It was only a quick job, but I put it top of my priority list."

"Really? Huh. Come to think of it, Ah think Ah saw Pinkie wearin' a pink one earlier."

"Yes, I think that would be the one for Pinkie. Still, I feel that wasn't nearly enough."

"Ah reckon the best thing to do is just apologise fer what you said. Have ya tried that yet?"

"I...er...no, I don't think I have. Things have just been so awkward, you know, an-"

"Quit makin' excuses." interrupted Applejack with a shake of her head. "You're sorry. Jus' say so, an everythin'll turn out for the best. Now, are ya goin' to do that by yerself, or do Ah need to drag ya over there?"

"I...You're right. Thank you, Applejack, I shall go and apologise right now."

"Good." smiled the farmer "It'll be fine. You'll see."

"Speaking from experience?" asked Rarity. Unfortunately, the farmer winced slightly at that question. Rarity sighed at Applejack's hesitation, which was answer enough. "Never mind. I think you'd better come with me anyway, darling."

"Uhh...yeah. Jus' give me a few minutes to close up shop..."





"Well of course I forgive you, Sillies! We're the bestest of friends, right? Right? Why wouldn't I?" Rarity and Applejack, despite the latter's earlier words, both gave a little sigh of relief. The wording had been a little vague due to the public venue- i.e. Sugarcube Corner- But their feelings had been gotten across just fine regardless. Pinkie was beaming and bouncing happily behind the counter, her guard for the day only showing cursory interest. It had become a quickly-learned survival tactic for the military ponies stationed in Ponyville to not pay too much attention to the various antics of their charge. Protection detail or not, they couldn't do their jobs if their minds were trying to comprehend the actions of a reality-warping earth pony.

Pinkie leant in closer over the counter for a moment, and stopped bouncing. "Seriously, girls, thank you. From all three of us" she said, in a much quieter tone. She gave a large smile to the pair, who gladly returned it. Pinkie then snapped back into her original position, but didn't resume bouncing. The guard just looked straight ahead, desperately trying to ignore the fact that, although unseen to Rarity and Applejack, Pinkie had leant over the counter by extending the length of her hind legs to something beyond what simply straightening them could do. 

"So, do you want anything to eat?" asked Pinkie, gesturing to the display with a hoof bearing a pink armband. Both declined politely, and the trio chatted mildly for a bit until some new customers came in. 

"Well, Ah'd best get back to the stall." said Applejack, excusing herself. "See y'all later, girls!"

"Bye Applejack!" waved Pinkie. "Come back soon!"

"I suppose I'd better get back as well, darling." said Rarity. Pinkie nodded in understanding, but before the fashionista could turn away she gave her a parting hug. Smiling, Rarity quickly reciprocated. After a moment, Rarity felt Pinkie's grip slackening for a moment as her head rested on Rarity's shoulder. Before she could react, the pink pony withdrew.

"Did you just..." Rarity whispered, recognising the signs. The pony opposite winked and waved a hoof, which now sported a yellow armband. Rarity chose not to think about when the two accessories had been exchanged, or where they had come from or gone to. 

"See you later, Rarity!" beamed Surprise. Rarity smiled, shook her head a little at the antics of her friends, and said goodbye before leaving the shop.

The poor guard, although being trained to notice alterations to the environment in order to detect traps or changelings, never did notice the armband switching colour. He was too busy trying to rationalise Pinkie stretching over the counter like rubber in order to hug her friend.
> Conversations
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh, Lieutenant! Can I talk to you for a moment?" Swift Strike turned at the call, before sinking into a brief bow upon realizing who it was. 

"Of course, Princess. What can I do for you?" he asked.

Twilight hesitated for a moment. "Well...I was wondering if you'd found anything. You know...about the fugitive?" she asked nervously.

"Nothing yet, I'm afraid." sighed Swift. "I'm afraid it's looking likely that he fled into one of the more dangerous parts of the Everfree. That being said, there's still a lot of forest we can safely cover that we haven't checked yet. I'm not willing to risk my men until we have a better idea of where to look." At his words, Twilight sighed, obviously downcast at the news.

"Thank you, Lieutenant...I'm sorry to bother you, it's just I was getting worried. It's almost been a week since the escape..."

"Don't worry, Princess. We'll find the guy." Swift Strike said confidently. Twilight smiled at this, and turned to go.

"Thanks, Lieutenant." she said.

"You're welcome Princess...Oh, wait! Princess Twilight!" 

"Huh? Is there something wrong?" asked Twilight, turning around again. Swift hesitated for a moment.

"Well...I wouldn't say wrong as such, but...well...The men that have been guarding Miss Pie have come back with some rather...strange stories." He said awkwardly. Twilight sighed.

"Let me guess. Pinkie Sense?" She asked, smiling slightly.

"Pinkie what-now?" Swift tilted his head, confused. He hadn't heard anything about a 'sense'.

"You know, those twitches that let her predict the future?"

Swift's eyes widened. "She can do what now?!"

Twilight frowned. "You don't seem to know a lot about Pinkie's 'abilities'...Wait, so what were you talking about?"

"Uhh...some of the guards claim she can stretch...like rubber...and can seemingly teleport without magic..." He trailed off. What was he thinking? There was no way the Princess was going to believe that-

"Oh, that! Don't worry, that's normal. It's best to just accept it, I'm afraid." Twilight giggled. "Just try not to think about it too much, alright?"

"W-wait...so Miss Pie can really...and she predicts the future too?!" Swift Strike, understandably, couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Yes, that's right...didn't Princess Celestia tell you about Pinkie's abilities?" asked Twilight. 

Swift shook his head. "I'm...afraid not, Princess." Even as he said it, however, something occurred to him. "Although..." He thought back. Actually, there had been something...

"Is there anything else that I should be aware of, Princess?" asked Swift Strike.

Princess Celestia smiled. "Well, Miss Pie is a very...interesting pony. I'd recommend your men keep an open mind when dealing with her." She smiled serenely. But for a moment, Swift Strike could have sworn there had been some amusement in her tone...As if there was a joke here that he wasn't aware of...

Swift Strike groaned. 'Interesting'. A teleporting pony with the ability to stretch like rubber and who apparently could predict the future. Oh, not to mention all the ridiculous 'stories' about Pinkie Pie pulling something out of her mane...especially things which shouldn't have fit in there...like that one about the cannon...Poor Iron Hammer had become a bit of a mess these last few days...Yes, that would all count as 'interesting', wouldn't it... 

"Is everything alright, Lieutenent?" asked Twilight, slightly worried at the abrupt silence. 

"...Why me?"





"Whoops... I guess I should have said something to them, huh..." Pinkie scratched the back of her head, and smiled a little awkwardly. Twilight had visited Sugarcube Corner soon after her conversation with Swift Strike, coincidentally just as Pinkie started her break, and the pair had easily fallen into conversation. After a while, Twilight had relayed the story of the Canterlot Guard's recent 'difficulties'.

Twilight sighed. "I think it's Princess Celestia that's to blame here...never thought I'd say that...I mean, she didn't tell anypony about your 'abilities'. Quite a few of the guards are a little freaked out right now...but I'm sure they'll be fine. And hey, it could've been a lot worse-remember when I tried to figure out Pinkie Sense?"

Pinkie giggled at the memories that came to mind. "Yup! That was funny!"

Twilight frowned. "Pinkie, I ended up in a wheelchair!"

"That was slapstick, Twilight! Haven't you ever heard of slapstick?"

Twilight sighed and shook her head, smiling slightly. She leant back in her chair. It was a little funny in hindsight. And Pinkie was right, it did fit slapstick comedy. "I suppose....come to think of it, Surprise and Pinkamena can use Pinkie Sense too, right?

"Yup! They can do everything I can do!"

"Really?" Twilight leant forward, interested. "Even the more...strange things? Like that thing you do with your mane?"

"My mane? Oh, yeah!  Yeah, they can do that too. Pinkamena doesn't like to though, it can give her a preeetty nasty headache sometimes."

"A headache? Why?"

Pinkie thought for a few seconds. "It's kinda hard to explain. I think I have to think about things a certain way to get things to work, and Pinkamena can't do that too well. She's too logicalistic."

"You mean logical." corrected Twilight. "So, logical thinking...does that mean you have to think 'illogically' to do your...thing? How does that work?"

Pinkie shrugged "I dunno." Twilight resisted the urge to hit her face against something (like the table). She had been so close to getting an actual explanation for Pinkie Pie!

"But if you don't know how it works, how can you do it?" she asked desperately.

"Not a clue!" beamed Pinkie. This time, Twilight did not resist the urge.





Rainbow burst into laughter. Pinkamena rolled her eyes. "Come on, it wasn't that funny."

"Sh-she facedesked!" snickered Rainbow "Of course it's funny!"

"She could've hurt herself!"

"By facedesking? Nah."

Pinkamena huffed to herself, slightly irritated. Looks like Rainbow wasn't budging on that topic. But still, how was Twilight's pain funny? It was probably something like slapstick. Hilarious as long as it wasn't you. Which wasn't really fair to- urgh, this wasn't getting her anywhere. Looking for a change in subject, Pinkamena looked down at the piping she was holding in her hooves. "So, remind me again how this is meant to be funny?"

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "How can you not know? Pinkie's the one who came up with this prank!"

Pinkamena shrugged. "To me, getting a facefull of water doesn't sound like fun for the victim."

Rainbow sighed. "Trust me, it'll be cool. Besides, if you didn't want to prank ponies, why'd you agree to do this with me?"

"I dunno, to get to know you personally? We haven't really talked a lot, and I tend to just be an observer, you know. The mane's kinda hard to explain, after all." Pinkamena gestured to her straight mane. Rainbow eyed it for a moment, having a few flashbacks to a certain birthday 'party'.

"Yeaahhh...I can see how that could...not turn out well." Rainbow said slowly. She checked the telescope again. "Oh- Heads up! There's somepony there!........Oh, come on!"

"What? Is it Fluttershy again?" asked Pinkamena dryly, thinking back to the last time this prank had been attempted.

"Nope. It's Daisy."

"Daisy?" Pinkamena tilted her head to one side for a moment, confused.

"You know, she's-"

"Magenta coat, lime mane? Freaked out over a bunch of bunnies?" interrupted Pinkamena.

"Yeaahh...How'd you know?" asked Rainbow, looking at her friend. Pinkamena rolled her eyes and tapped her head.

"Pinkie told me."

"Oh, yeah, right..." Rainbow said. She'd forgotten about that particular detail.

"So, are we giving up on this?"

"No way. I'm waiting until I get somepony who can take a prank."

"How long do you thi-"

"LLLIIIIILLLYYYY!!!!" Pinkamena and Rainbow's heads whipped up at the sudden scream as it echoed across the lake. "THERE'S A FAKE WATER-SQUIRTING TURTLE HERE! SOMEPONY'S TRYING TO SOAK ME!" This was, of course, Daisy.

"THE HORROR! THE HORROR!" came the answering holler.

Rainbow groaned and facehoofed. "Oh, great. Come on, we'd better get this cleared up before they start a stampede or something..."





Twilight groaned. "So that's what all the fuss was about?" In front of her hovered a quill and some parchment. Unnoticed by the alicorn, a small blob of ink flicked off the quill and landed on her cheek.

"Yep." nodded Pinkamena, looking away from the spot. "Rainbow Dash's gone to apologise to them, so hopefully it'll be sorted out soon."

Twilight shook her head, exasperated. The motion messed up her manestyle slightly. "Those three..." The two sat in silence for a moment, the library around them as quiet as usual.

"Hey, what're you working on there?" asked Pinkamena, looking curiously at the parchment in front of Twilight.

"Oh this? This is just a report to the Princesses about the guards in Ponyville. Nothing much, really. Just about how they're fitting in." she smiled.

Pinkamena smiled back, looking at Twilight: A smudge of ink, a mussed mane, a happy smile.





'...Oh Celestia she's cute...'
> An ironic problem
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As much as it annoyed him, he did appreciate the irony. Here he was, surrounded by trees, and he didn't have a single sheet of paper, or parchment for that matter. If it wasn't so frustrating, he might have laughed. Maybe. As it was, he just muttered another curse under his breath. On the other side of the cave, the Timberwolf looked up momentarily at the sound. When nothing else was said, it laid its head back on the floor to continue lightly dozing.

Food and water could be foraged, so that was no problem. Planning for the various experiments had been completed long ago, during his incarceration. But even his brilliant mind couldn't retain everything. And even if it could, he would need to do calculations, eventually spread word of his results. And unless the modern scientific world was prepared to take crude carvings on stone tablets seriously, he was in severe need of supplies. That meant that he would need to venture into civilization, and 'acquire' some resources. It couldn't wait- once he had retrieved the test subject, it would be too dangerous to leave the forest until his work was completed. But on the other hoof, it was also incredibly dangerous now; guards were sure to be patrolling the surrounding area for him.

Scowling, he looked over to the wolf. "Stay," he growled. No point in drawing more attention to himself, as the predator's presence surely would. He knew the wolf would understand. He'd managed to teach it a few basic commands, with the aid of a tree-branch to correct unwanted behaviour.  

Walking through the forest, he wondered where he would go. Not into the town proper, of course. That was far too risky, even now, at night. There was a farm, though, wasn't there? And maybe a couple of outlying cottages too. All he had to do was find the way out. He had been slowly building up a mental map of his surroundings, during his various excursions for food and water. Just yesterday, he had found what appeared to be a beaten track through the forest, a fair distance from his cave. He had no way of determining its purpose, where it led, but decided it was as good a place to start as any.

The track, when he finally found it, was exactly as he remembered it. The vegetation underfoot was flattened, and patchy on the distinctive trail of compressed soil. It was clearly well-used. Unsure of which way to go, he chose a direction at random. Hopefully it would lead him to the forest edge.





It hadn't. He had, either by good luck or bad, apparently ended up deeper in the forest. Bad luck, because he was nowhere near where he wanted to be. Good, because he had found what he was looking for. A house. Or rather, a tree that had been made into one.

Putting aside the absurdity of finding such a construction in the Everfree forest, there was also the matter of its decor. Zebrican, if he was not mistaken. Tricky folk. They were as peace-loving as most Equestrians, but their mastery over potions made for a strong reputation. He recalled that their last war had ended before it had even begun, with most of the invading army falling ill with any number of maladies. The small group still able to fight had been quickly dissuaded by a large force of Zebra warriors. Peaceful, but still dangerous in a fight.

A Zebra living in the Everfree was sure to have protections against the various creatures it contained. He frowned at that thought. There were no traps as far as he could see, no obvious forms of defence. Not even an alarm system to warn the occupant of danger. He himself had been able to construct a large vine tripwire connected to bunches of small rocks inside the cave on a ledge, arranged in such a way as to make them fall in the event that an unwelcome intruder breached a hastily-erected perimeter around the cave. So where were the Zebra's defences?

He approached the hut cautiously, ready to bolt at the first hint of trouble. However, nothing happened as he approached a window, and looked inside. The tree-house was gloomy, with only a small lamp providing some night-time light. In the back, though, he could just about make out the shape of a bed, partly hidden by a wall. It was clearly occupied. 

Neuron sat down, and contemplated his choices. Either he could retrace his steps, and try his luck at the other end of the trail, or he could attempt to break into the Zebra's home and search for supplies, all without waking the occupant. He sighed. There would likely be similar problems on the other end of the track, wherever that was. And that was assuming the track led to town, and not to some part of the Everfree rich with potion ingredients. He scowled again: he really had no choice. Getting here had taken long enough, finding the town and a suitable house could take him until morning.  Entering this house was likely the safest choice if he was to avoid capture and still acquire supplies. A Zebra foolish enough to live in the Everfree without protection would pose little threat. Perhaps the various monsters really were rare in this part of the forest. It would certainly explain the lack of need for defence.

His decision made, Neuron stood up and pushed at the door. It was locked, naturally. However, this was a simple lock, designed to keep out mindless beasts, not an intelligent Unicorn such as himself. Telekinesis made it easy to lift the crude latch on the other side of the door, its presence confirmed with another glance through the window. He nudged the door open, and stepped in a quietly as he could.

The room was sparse in terms of furniture. Most of the room was dedicated to potion creation. Looking around, he spied a small wooden desk in one corner. A desk with paper. He smirked, and quietly made his way over to it. The wooden desk held an impressive amount of blank paper, as well as a few quills and bottles of ink. Off to one side was a small stack of notes, along with what appeared to be a letter. A cursory examination of the first few paragraphs revealed that the Zebra, 'Zecora', had been asked to write some notes on the Zebrican methods of potion mixing. Neuron raised an eyebrow at the impressive stack of paper, which had clearly been supplied for the Zebra to use. Whoever this academic was, they clearly had a rather strange definition of the word 'some'...and possibly of 'notes', as well. It seemed more like the Zebra had been contracted to write a book on the subject, possibly two!

No matter though. That just meant more supplies for him. After a few moments of thought, he decided to take the potion notes as well. Perhaps there was something of use to him in them. Lifting up the lot with telekinesis, he turned to check on the sleeping Zebra...and froze.

While looking through the window had shown him much of the house's layout, one thing it hadn't revealed to him was the fact that the Zebra apparently slept with a spear. It was long, sharp, and clearly made for protection. Neuron unconsciously gulped. At least he had an answer for the lack of traps now...they probably weren't needed. Apparently, this Zebra was combat-trained. He had a terrible suspicion that the Everfree left this house alone because the occupant had scared off any trouble.

Said occupant was also awake, alert, and pointing the afore-mentioned spear in his direction.

"This is quite a surprise to me, to find the fugitive of the Everfree. I ask that you surrender quietly, unless you wish this to turn ugly." said Zecora. 

"I get the point," snarled Neuron. He lay down, and began lowering the supplies to the ground. Zecora relaxed slightly.

"Good, I tha-" And then he blasted the Zebra into the wall behind her with a large stunning spell, using the magic he was already channeling to fuel it. The things he was levitating dropped to the floor to the floor, the levitation spell now gone.  Neuron scrambled to his feet and picked up the supplies again with his magic. He had to go, NOW, before the Zebra recovered.

Neuron Probe bolted out the door, taking with him paper, ink and quills. He was now ready to conduct his research.
> Pinkamena's Problem
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pinkamena rolled over, frowning to herself. This was starting to get out of hand. Just the other day she had practically stared at Twilight's ink-spotted face. A few seconds more and it would have gotten very awkward. Sooner or later, somepony was going to notice. Not for the first time, she silently thanked whatever twist of genetics had produced a bright pink coat in the Pie family. It made blushes so much easier to hide. 

It was hopeless, of course. She knew that. There was no way that such a  relationship could work. She was, essentially, the product of an abnormal brain structure and a nasty instance of psychological trauma. A split personality that only enjoyed some semblance of normal life due to the afore-mentioned brain structure and the wonders of Pinkie Pie's...unusual relationship with the rest of reality. She shared a body with two other individuals, and they rotated control of said body almost at random. The only clear pattern that she generally spent the least amount of time in control out of the three. What pony would be willing to even date somepony with such a screwed-up personal life? Who would like it if their special somepony was in control of their body only some of the time, and any intimate moments with whom would have two observers by default? 

And that wasn't even the biggest issue. That particular title went to the question of whether Twilight even liked mares to begin with. Heck, until she'd bumped into that guard in the Crystal Empire, after coming back through the mirror, Twilight hadn't shown the slightest hint that she was interested in stallions either. Until then, Pinkamena had been half-convinced that the Librarian/Princess was asexual!

Pinkamena groaned, and buried her head in her pillow. She was getting worked up over it all again. Logically, with the exception of ignoring it, there was nothing that she could really do with this crush that wasn't going to end badly. Therefore, the best course of action would probably be to ignore it and hope it faded over time.

Or just wait until Twilight fell in love with somepony and then deal with the heartbreak...

She shook her head to get rid of the unwanted thought. That was enough of that. She had to get to sleep soon or her 'sisters'- she called them that because really, they were as close as sisters, and in any case the word fitted as well as any other could- would wonder what was on her mind. And then start the unwanted questioning.





The next day brought a semi-welcome distraction in the form of Zecora. On one hoof, the excitement caused by the Zebra's tale did wonders for getting Pinkamena focused on something other than her issues. On the other, this was because Zecora had been robbed by a certain convict in the middle of the night. The Zebra had limped into town early that morning with an injured leg, apparently caused by Probe magically blasting her backwards into a wall. As soon as they had heard what had happened from a customer, one of the Ponyville doctors who had been on duty at the time, Surprise had shot across town in a blur. Pinkamena tried to ignore the view from their eyes, in case Surprise took a 'short-cut' or two. She had enough on her mind without getting a headache from watching reality being twisted for ease of travel.

"Zecora!" yelled Surprise as she burst through the door. "Are you alright?!?"

The occupants of the room- that is, two guards, Nurse Redheart, and Zecora herself, all flinched. The Zebra herself was in a bed, with the guards on one side and Redheart on the other. The white walls and clean, simple furniture identified the room as being in Ponyville hospital. 

There was an awkward moment of silence, broken only by the sound of Surprise panting heavily, before Zecora managed to get her thoughts together. "My leg is hurt, but I am still intact. Nurse Redheart told me this is a fact."

"Oh, ok." Surprise switched from panic to her normal, cheery disposition in the blink of an eye. The panting stopped too- it was like her exhaustion had completely disappeared. To be honest, though, there was likely not much need to breathe deeply in the first place; Surprise did tend to exaggerate such things. "Sooo...does it hurt?" she asked curiously, peering at Zecora's bandaged leg.

Zecora chuckled. "It does sting quite a bit, but I have taken many a harder hit."

One of the guards coughed. "Er, Miss Zecora? I still need to finish taking your statement..."

As Zecora apologised and recounted the events of the previous night, Surprise sat and listened, surprisingly quiet. That is, she only interrupted the zebra about five times throughout the tale. When Zecora was finished with her story, the guard put away his notepad and thanked her for her time.

"It was no trouble, Sergeant Blade. I know it is important to not allow the memory to fade."

"Uh...yeah. I agree." nodded the guard awkwardly. He was clearly unused to Zecora's rhyming. Surprise stifled a small giggle at the look on his face. The guards filed out of the room, and just before the door closed the occupants could hear the beginnings of a conversation:

"The LT. is gonna flip when he reads this..."

"Oh come on, I'm sure it won't be that bad!"

"We came for a statement, Steel Blade! This is a bloody three-page poem!"

As the door closed, preventing any further eavesdropping, a rather awkward silence hovered in the room for a moment. This was soon broken, however, by Surprise finally losing her self-restraint and falling to the floor laughing. Zecora joined in soon after, followed by Redheart.

"I...I must admit." chuckled Zecora in-between breaths. "I may have overdone it a bit!"





After chatting to Zecora to a bit, Pinkie had taken over and bounced around town for a bit, chatting to various ponies. After a while, Pinkamena spoke up.

"Hey, Pinkie? Aren't you forgetting something?"

Pinkie tilted her head. "I'm forgetting something?"

Pinkamena sighed. "What were we doing before we heard about Zecora?" she prompted.

"...Oops." Pinkie winced. They'd ditched work. "I'd better get back, huh?"

"There you are!"

"Hmm?" Pinkie turned around, to see two rather bedraggled guards running up to her. "We've been looking all over town for you, Miss Pie! Please, don't go running off like that!" The same guard said, trotting up to her. His partner stayed silent. A muscle near his eye was twitching. Pinkie looked at him curiously. 

"Hey, what's up Mr. Guard? You're looking a bit twitchy."

The guard stayed silent. His slightly wide-eyed expression stayed intact too. His partner coughed awkwardly. "I'm not sure what's wrong with him, Miss Pie. He got a good look at..whatever it was you did outside the sofa shop, and hasn't been right since." 

"Whoops! My bad!"

"Oooh." said Pinkie understandingly, as Pinkamena facehoofed. "Not to worry! Just let him sleep it off and he'll be fine."

"Sleep it off? Are you sure?"

Pinkie taped her chin. "Weellll, I think so, at least. Mr. Cake saw me do something one time, and he managed to get better after a night or two. He did have a few nightmares the first night, though, so watch out for that, okay?"

"...Nightmares?" asked the guard hesitantly.

Pinkie nodded. "Yup! Most ponies don't like it when I do my thing, and their brains can go a little wibbly for a while if they get a clear look at it. It gets better quickly, though, so no need to worry!"

"Your...thing? Actually, never mind. I don't wanna know." said the guard, putting a hoof to his head and closing his eyes for a moment. He sighed, and reassumed his original stance. "Will you be returning to the bakery now?" he asked.

"Yup! Sorry about running off, but I was super-worried about Zecora, you know?" Pinkie apologised, smiling at the guard. She turned to the catatonic guard. "Sorry about what you saw, Mr. Twitchy-Eye Guard Pony! I'll be more careful next time, Pinkie Promise!" She made the required gestures quickly, much to the confusion of the speaking guard. He decided to just ignore it though, mentally filing it under 'Strange things done by Miss Pie'. 

The Canterlot guards, though new to Ponyville, were quickly getting used to doing that.

> The hazards of guarding a reality-warper.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Swift Strike had a headache.  Rubbing his head, he ran his eyes over the report again, at a loss for words. Miss Pie had, somehow, violated the rules of physics, and accidentally traumatized one of her guards. Again.

"How in the world did she manage to..." He trailed off. The words of the townsponies, repeated like a comforting mantra, echoed in his head. 'It's Pinkie Pie. Don't question it'. He wasn't stupid enough to argue the point. He only had to look at Corporal Duty Sense to see why that was a bad idea. Corporal Sense had tried to get a good look at one of Miss Pie's...'incidents', claiming it couldn't be 'all that bad'. The poor stallion still refused to go anywhere near a mailbox.

Not for the first time, he wondered if a such a pony truly needed a guard. With her 'abilities', it would surely be foal's play to escape from any undesirable situation. However, when he had asked Princess Twilight about this, she had only shook her head.

"I don't know why," she had said, "But for some reason that doesn't seem to be how it works. Pinkie's been in plenty of dangerous situations, but I've never seen her abilities play a major role in her surviving them. I would say it was something that had to simply flow, that couldn't be forced, but she clearly does have control over it...And after what happened last time, I'm in no hurry to investigate the phenomena."

So, to put it shortly, Princess Twilight had no idea. Frustrated, he had then questioned Miss Pie herself...and that had just given him another headache.

"Oh, I don't take shortcuts when things are all super-serious because I think that's kind of cheating, don't you?" she had said. In one breath.

"...Cheating?"

"Yeah! You wouldn't want all the problems to be solved in like ten seconds, do you? That's no fun for anybody who watches!"

"...What do you mean, 'watches'?" he had asked, curious.

Miss Pie had shrugged, and said "Me and the girls tend to get a looot of attention every now and again."

Unsure of what she meant, he had gone for a slightly paranoid reaction. With Probe still unaccounted for, of course, this was easily justifiable. "Miss Pie? Are you suggesting you may be under surveillance?"

"Oooh, like a spy story? That'd be cool, but I don't think so. I mean like-" Here, she had paused, as if remembering something. "Err...Umm...Oh yeah! You know, like last week. We get caught up in stuff like that aaallll the time, and everybody wants to watch!" He knew that she was hiding something there. He had never, ever seen Miss Pie hesitate before. At all. But she didn't seem worried, so he decided to drop it. It was probably another one of Ponyville's quirks. Like the local flower sellers, who panicked over damaged flowers, but didn't worry at all during last week's incident when Timberwolves breached the Forest perimeter. Was he the only one who noticed how weird that was?

He had shook his head out of the tangent it had drifted onto, and then said "So, we Guards can expect some casual watchers during our stay here?"

"Well, kinda...I mean, they are technically looking, but right now it's not really 'watching'..." Miss Pie trailed off, and his sense of self preservation had told him that this was a good time to leave the conversation. Judging from the flow of the conversation, Miss Pie looked like she was teetering on saying something damaging to his mental health. At least it did not seem relevant to the Probe situation, judging by the fact she wasn't acting particularly scared or worried. She had seemed more nervous, like somepony who had verbally dug themselves into an awkward hole.

Not wanting to test the theory, he had hastily made excuses and extracted himself from the conversation.

Swift sighed and looked around for something to distract him. He was on a break at the moment, and was sitting on a simple wooden bench beside a small local lake. This 'lake' was probably technically a large duck pond, but as it was large enough to be charitably called a small lake he decided to stick with his initial description. A little way away, on the other side of the lake, he spotted a pair of mares on a similar bench, one a cream earth pony with a pink and blue mane, and the other a mint green unicorn. The Unicorn was sitting strangely, for some reason adopting a posture more natural to bipedal races. As he watched, the two leant in close, and he hurriedly looked away, not wanting to stare and potentially interrupt the couple's moment.

He looked up, wondering if he could do a spot of cloud-gazing. No such luck- there was only one visible cloud, and even that was in the process of being sped away, propelled by a pink and purple blob. Of course, this was a pegasus, though he wouldn't be able to name them if he tried. He wondered how many would, in this small town. Miss Pie could, for certain, but how many others? Well, there was a strong sense of community here, so perhaps most, if not all, of the town's inhabitants. He wouldn't be surprised. 

Swift looked down again- the couple on the bench were snuggling now- and looked around his surroundings again. Suddenly, something colourful caught his eye, and he turned to look.

There was something strange near the water's edge, he realised. A small, multi-coloured blob, floating in the lake. It was hard to see from the bench, so he stood up, curious, and walked closer. As he drew nearer, the blob resolved itself into...a small patchwork turtle, bobbing up and down slightly as a nearby swimming duck created ripples on the surface. He frowned. What was this thing doing here? Was it a lost toy or something? Maybe there was a tag on it. In that case, he would be able to return it to its owner. He leaned in to get a closer look. At the same time, the nearby duck dove underwater in search of food. A particularly large ripple generated by this action shifted the turtle closer to land, driving it up the shallow slope of the lake bed. This, in turn, revealed that an orange pipe was connected to the turtle.

SPLOOSH!

Swift had no time to react to the pipe, however, as the seemingly innocent turtle then proceeded to blast his face with a torrent of water. The elite soldier reeled back, having been caught off-guard.  As he sat down with a bump, he heard a vaguely familiar voice call out in joy.

"YES! Finally! Woohoo!!"
> Probe's plan
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Neuron Probe scowled as a fresh surge of pain pulsed from his horn. His magic had never been especially powerful, a deficit that had been offset by his high precision. Unfortunately, when you need to conjure stable objects, specifically metal pony restraints, you needed a decent amount of power to get the process started. If you didn't put enough magic into the constructs, then they had an unfortunate tendency to disappear at critical moments. He had managed it in the end, although not without gaining a significant headache as his reserves ran low. It would be all worth it in the end though. Yes, he would capture Pinkamena Pie, and finally complete his life's work.

It had become clear to him that he would not be able to construct any useful sort of golem any time soon. He had managed to animate some rock golems, but they were infuriatingly slow. Their heads had essentially come to form their entire torso, large as that may be, and their arms and legs were little more than useless stubs. Perhaps four arms had been a mistake after all; there was a limit to the amount of mass he could animate at once, and this was clearly pushing it. Really, if it wasn't for the boulder-like creatures' tendency to curl up and throw themselves at a perceived threat, he wouldn't have kept them around. A sentient boulder would provide some distraction for any guards that came sniffing. And they had at least spared him the pain of moving that rock slab around himself. Their intelligence was rather lacking, but at least they could follow basic instructions.

His magical reserves had been severely taxed from doing all this, however, leading to his current foul mood and splitting headache. A lesser, though still significant, irritation was the lack of certain facilities. He hadn't had a proper wash in days, and the less said about his makeshift toilet the better. The cave stunk, and he was sure a large part of it was his own scent. Oh, he knew it would be all worth it in the end, but the interim was proving to be very unpleasant. At least he was enjoying some peace now- slowly pacing, with a limp. His stiff leg, still bound with vines and leaves, hurt less with each passing day, a sure sign that nature was doing its work. 

The plan was advancing. Yes, the cogs were moving, slowly grinding towards the recovery of the subject. And beyond that, the completion of his work. Yes, all he needed to do was to follow her movements, and identify the ideal moment to obtain her. The bakery would be a good place to start- The papers said she was a baker, living with the owners of the bakery where she worked. He couldn't remember the names, but they were irrelevent anyway. As if there would be more than one bakery in a place like Ponyville. An earth pony village grown from an apple farm would have little in the way of true sophistication. They probably didn't even have a proper hospital. To say nothing of the level of intelligence. Unicorns were the scholars of Equestria, everypony knew that. The only real threat to him would be those who were from Canterlot- the guards, and the Princess. And in the dead of night, both parties would be easily avoided.

He would have to be cautious, but he could be patient for now. She would grow complacent, relax, as would the guards that were sure to be still running around like headless chickens. She would be vulnerable soon enough, and then he would strike. The foolish guards wouldn't even know until it was too late. He would spirit his errant test subject away into his laboratory, and resume the experiments. The lack of a proper electricity supply was irritating, but his magic would likely be able to replicate the process well enough. It wasn't as if he wouldn't have time to practice. And the golems would keep interruptions away. They may need a little training, but it seemed instinct was doing some of the work for him.

Yes, that sounded perfect. He would practice the necessary spell-work in the mornings. Afternoons could be devoted to foraging, and training the various golems now under his command. Evenings would give him the darkness needed to get close to town unnoticed. As he learnt the patrols, he would be able to move further into town undetected. Once he could make it undetected to the bakery and back....that would be when he was ready. A few more nights to assertain the perfect moment, and that would be that. All that would be left would be to execute the retrieval. He would need to conjure some rope for that part, and practice  a knock-out spell. Those would be simple enough. Yes, that was the plan. And what a masterful plan it was! It was simple, inventive and, naturally from one such as he, foolproof! The work of a true genius!

A low cackle echoed in the cave. It grew louder, faster, the maddened laugh drifting outside and through the trees of the Everfree Forest. The golems and Timberwolf shrunk away from their master, sensing the danger he represented. The Wolf whined in fear. What few prey animals there were around the cave bolted. Some ways off, a pair of orange furred ears perked up. A pack of Timberwolves bounded through the undergrowth, their howls adding to the dreadful sound. They too kept their distance- the scents of magic and sickness had been on the air all day, and a mad creature such as the one they heard now was surely one best avoided. Around the forest's edge, too far away to hear,  oblivious guards and their dogs patrolled the border.  And in the heart of Ponyville, under the watchful eye of a pair of guards, a smiling pink pony bounded around the tables of the local bakery, seemingly oblivious to the danger brewing.

The Everfree was infested with monsters, and now one more lurked in the dark forest.
> Fluttershy's Dilemma
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the Element of Kindness, one could easily assume that out of all of Pinkie's closest friends, Fluttershy would be the quickest to accept the situation and be supportive, and they would be right.

On the other hand, you could also say that Surprise's over-the-top personality would be somewhat like anathema to the quiet and meek Pegasus, even if she would likely never actually reveal it. This, unfortunately, would also be correct.

It wasn't that Fluttershy disliked Surprise, per se, but...well, Surprise's attitude could sometimes get on her nerves. Surprise meant well, and Fluttershy knew that, but sometimes you just don't like somepony all that much. And that, frankly, made Fluttershy feel a little disgusted with herself. She was a pacifistic vegetarian, and yet she would happily tend to an injured Manticore or Timberwolf, who were by their very nature the exact opposite of her world view. So why couldn't she get along with a pony whose sole focus in life appeared to be to have fun with others? She was Discord's best friend, for crying out loud! Discord!

And yet, there was something about Surprise that grated on her slightly. She never liked it when Pinkie got like that... or at least she hadn't, before she started wondering if all of those annoying moments were the work of Surprise. To be confronted with the rather real possibility that the more...distasteful memories of her friend Pinkie Pie were actually the work of a separate individual was terrible. She wanted to like Surprise, truly she did, but liking somepony is rather hard when what little personal interaction you had with them seems to have greatly riled up your social anxiety.

'But you don't know', said a little voice in her head, 'which pony it was at any point in time, now do you? Pinkie and Surprise could easily both be guilty of getting on your nerves. And you got along with Pinkie just fine when you thought it was all her.' Yes, but she had redeeming qualities. 'And Surprise doesn't?' I don't know! 

And she didn't- that was why she had invited the Pink Trio for a cup of tea. To get to know Pinkamena and Surprise a bit better, and to secretly help herself get over this mental block. And it would be so, so much easier if she could talk freely without having to censor her wording because of the guards.

"S-so, um...Pinkie?" she said out loud, trying not to give any hints to her interior thoughts.

"Yep!" Surprise waved a foreleg, complete with yellow armband, in the air cheerfully. She winked. A lot. Clearly, Surprise had no use for subtlety. Fortunately for her, the days's guards were making a point of not paying too much attention to her. They had heard the stories, and heeded the warnings. "So what's up? This is really nice tea by the way. But I think it could do with a little more sugar. Super sweet means super yummy!"

"U-um...There's sugar in the kitchen, I'll-"

"I'll get it!" Zip. Clatter. Zoom. Surprise sat in the seat sipping at her tea. Fluttershy took a moment to recover from the shock of the ridiculously high-speed dash to and from her kitchen. Unnoticed by either mare, the two guards shuddered, cursing their training to react to sudden movements and thus giving them a perfect view of the latest impossible feat.

"I-is that ok, now?"

"Yup! Super yummy!" said Surprise happily, waving the cup for emphasis, miraculously not spilling anything.

"Oh good. Did you put the sugar away? O-only some of my animal friends could make themselves sick if they eat it..." she said. 

Surprise nodded energetically. "Sure did! So, what do you want to talk about, hmm? Hmm?"

"U-um...." Oh dear. She was never very good at this part of talking. "W-well...I wanted to...get to know you a bit better?" What was meant to be a statement turned out as a question, like she was questioning her own motives. And, admittedly, she was a little, but they weren't supposed to know that! At least it was quiet, so the guards didn't hear....If only that volume was by choice...

Surprise just nodded happily, clearly either unaware or unconcerned by all this. "Great! What do you wanna know?"

Fluttershy wilted a little. She wanted to know how much of Pinkie's 'bad side' could be attributed to Surprise. And, similarly, she dearly wanted to find some of Pinkie's 'good side' in Surprise. Because otherwise she would be having tea with an...irritating, and very hyperactive stranger.

"U-um...when have you been...you? Only it's, um....hard to tell, and I've been wondering..." She asked haltingly. The need for secrecy in the presence of the guards sure wasn't making this any easier.

"Ohhh." Surprise nodded in realization. "Ok! Welll, I've been me-" some more obvious winking "-at tons of parties, at least some of the time. Not usually at one of the others' though, because reasons I can't say. I've done pranks with Dashie, baked some days at Sugarcube Corner, helped set up the goof off but didn't actually do it, watched a bit of the dragon migration, set up that super-amazing obstacle course for Maud, beat up some of those meanie changelings..." Surprise rambled on and on. Some sentences seemed to run on for longer than was biologically possible, and in all likelihood did.

As Surprise recounted each and every significant action she had done in the last few years, Fluttershy caught sight of a particularly adventurous blue jay, who had been staying with her for the past week or so due to a leg injury. The injury itself was almost healed, but the leg was still a little weak. The bird's wings, on the other hand, were fine, as proven by the way it fluttered across the room to have a closer look at the strange babbling pink pony. 

"-Iron Will, which was pretty weird but it turned out ok, and then there was the time thoooh, hello there Mister Birdie." said Surprise as the blue jay hovered in front of her face. The bird cheeped loudly.

"U-um, she's a girl." corrected Fluttershy quietly.

"Hello there Missus Birdie. Sorry for calling you Mister." said Surprise without missing a beat. "How're you?" The blue jay presented her bandaged leg. "Aww, your leg's hurt? I bet Fluttershy's taking good care of you, though, huh?" asked Surprise softly. Fluttershy was amazed- what happened to all the shouting?

"U-um...you're being very good with her...I-um, not that you wouldn't be nice, but, um...you're...kind of loud..." Fluttershy trailed off awkwardly. Surprise smiled at her, not bothered by the awkward wording.

"Of course," Surprise said, making sure to keep her voice acceptably low, "Birds don't like it when you talk too loudly to them, right?"

"That's...right." said Fluttershy, trying to keep the surprise out of the voice. "You'll scare them if you talk too loudly. And then they'll fly away."

There was silence for a moment. "...I wish I could fly." said Surprise, fixated on the hovering bird in front of her. "If I had wings, I'd spend ages in the clouds...I even got Pinkie to help me build a machine to get up there...but it's not really the same...." she sighed wistfully. "If I had wings, I'd be able to go anywhere. Completely free..."

Fluttershy blinked, and began to smile softly. Looks like Surprise had a gentle side after all. She relaxed a bit in her chair. Thank goodness...














Day 5, approximately 4pm.

Subject witnessed visiting a cottage near forest boundary. Structure seems to be some sort of veterinary clinic. Also home to one female Pegasus, yellow.

Are visits regular? Maintain observations.

Subject accompanied by two guards. Care will be needed-discover extent of escort duties. When isn't she accompanied? When sleeping? Any other time?

Retrieval may need to be in a moment of opportunity. Revise plans as required.

> A day at the Boutique
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pinkamena stood awkwardly on the raised platform. By consensus, both inside their head and out of it, she was the best of the three for the job. Sitting still was never one of  Pinkie or Surprise's strong points, after all. Which meant that she was the one to be used as a living pincushion for Rarity to pin her latest design onto. At least it wasn't just her, she mused. Rainbow Dash, of all ponies, was right there next to her.

Then again, Rainbow was only here in recompense for a prank. Pinkamena had volunteered. And beginning to wish she hadn't, to be perfectly honest. At least back on the farm you could move around and were actually doing something, even if it was fairly monotonous work. Here, she had been standing perfectly still for what felt like hours, and was beginning to sympathise with Rainbow's continued grumbles.

"Oh, do sit still, Rainbow Dash. Really, it isn't that hard." admonished Rarity. The pegasus in question sighed.

"But it's sooo boring!" groaned Rainbow, slumping slightly. 

"Well, you should have thought about that before setting that water bucket above my door. My mane, my dress, and Opal all soaked in one go. Really, you're lucky it was just a test of a new design, and not something I was about to sell." said Rarity, before turning to Pinkamena. "Now, Pinkamena. I think a Corsage would do wonders here...yes, blue perhaps...."

As Rarity fussed around with various flower bracelets, Pinkamena could hardly believe this was the same pony who had tried to make them get 'help'. Rarity really had come to terms with the situation, and pretty well too. She had picked up the armband code pretty quickly, and her only real complaint (in typical Rarity fashion) was that the shade of yellow for Surprise's armband clashed with their coat.

The guards hadn't figured it out yet. A least, the headmates didn't think so. For all they knew, the guards could have figured it out ages ago, and just not said anything. They never did say all that much, with a few exceptions, most notably Lieutenant Swift Strike. Well, that and the occasional splutter whenever they did something particularly spectacular in their ongoing defiance of the laws of physics. At least no-one was fainting anymore, which was a good sign. That meant that the guards were getting used to it quickly.





Having finished dress-making for the time being the ponies (three or five, depending on how you counted) were relaxing, each with a cup of coffee in their hooves. The guards were standing at the door to the boutique, allowing them to speak freely.

"I must say, you were wonderfully patient, Pinkamena darling. Much more than Pinkie or Surprise would have been." commented Rarity.

"I always was the calmest of us." agreed Pinkamena, taking a sip of her coffee. She quickly hid her grimace. It seemed like Rarity had given her Pinkie's usual concoction, likely out of habit. Too much sugar for her, in any case. Still, it was better than nothing, and it wasn't worth the fuss of complaining and getting a new cup.

"I don't know how you can stand it. I mean, Pinkie would have been jumping all over the place ages ago." said Rainbow.

"Yes, well, I'm not Pinkie." pointed out Pinkamena. "And you know she and Surprise are outliers. You've met our sister, Pies tend to be much more sedate."

"Well, yeah, but...how can anyone be that du- er, I mean, sedate?"

Pinkamena rolled her eyes, ignoring Rainbows little slip. "It's just how we are." she said. "Pies are rock farmers. That gives us a certain kind of mindset... most of the time." She chose not to mention that Pies also tended to produce reality warpers like themselves once in a few generations. Nor the old story that the reason they were rock farmers was because it was the only job their ancestors could get after Discord's rampage had soured the reputation of ponies with such abilities. Nor that Maud herself was a bit of an odd case, having some measure of Warper powers and yet maintaining the typical Pie attitude. That would have just complicated the conversation.





Pinkamena trotted back towards Sugarcube Corner, ignoring the slightly chilly air. It had been a good day, she mused. Everything seemed to be settling into a good rhythm. Their friends had all come to accept them. Even the guards seemed more relaxed lately.

She looked up at the night sky, admiring Luna's work. Mayb-  Twitchy tail.

Startled, she leapt to the side. The guards either side of her flinched, sweeping their weapons into a ready position. In the darkness, something rather large and solid-sounding slammed into the ground with an audible thud. "What was th-"

Twitchy tail. Thud. Twitchy tail. Thud. The two guards crumpled to the ground.

There was no time to react. Another twitch caused her to dive to the right. Jumping around in the dark, she bumped into a cold, hard mass that definitely did not belong in the middle of town. Running her hooves over it in confusion, Pinkamena frowned. "Is this...a rock?"

Twitchy tail. Thud. Twitchy tail, twitchy tail. Thud. Thud. "Who's there?!" She screamed, coming to a stop after a particularly impressive set of acrobatics. She wheeled around on the spot, desperately trying to see who was lobbing rocks at her. 'Surprise! You're best at this, get us-' 

Twitchy tail.

Thud.








Joints grinding, the golems slowly emerged from the bushes and alleys they had been hiding in, cocking their heads at the limp pink form. Slowly, the next line of their orders came into effect. One stepped forward, and began dragging the Pink One back towards the forest. 

> The Mad Doctor
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Head pounding, Pinkamena slowly opened her eyes.  She found herself on her back in a dark cave, lying on a cold hard, surface- a rock or something. A heavy weight pulled at her limbs, pulling her forelegs above her head and keeping her back legs pointing straight down. With her heart beginning to pound, her eyes flicked around, finding crude metal manacles wrapped around each of her legs. From these, chains extended to nearby stalagmites, around which they were secured. Against one wall was an ink-splattered pile of parchment resting on a rock shelf. A small Timberwolf prowled in front of the cave mouth, restless. 

And in the centre of the cave stood their worst nightmare, staring at them with a mad gleam in his eye.

Screams echoed in Pinkamena's head from Pinkie and Surprise, the two descending into terror and panic. Pinkamena bit back a scream herself as she looked at the ragged figure of Neuron Probe. His mane was unkempt and tangled, his coat filthy. One of his legs was bound in rotten vegetation. Her nose wrinkled at a terrible stench in the air.

A quick tug at her restraints only proved there was no slack in the chains, which clinked slightly with the movement. The sound echoed loudly in the cave. "Ah, you're awake," Probe said, grinning. "Tell me, Miss Pie, do you like my little laboratory?" he asked. Pinkamena stared back, frozen. Probe waited for a moment, and scowled when she didn't reply. "No matter...you just sit tight..." He moved to the pile of writing materials, muttering under his breath. He had a clear limp, the bound leg unnaturally stiff.

Pinkamena's mind raced. 'Come on...keep it together...' This was bad. Really, really bad. In their mindscape, Pinkie and Surprise had moved from screaming to simply clinging to each other tightly, refusing to look. "You won't get away with this!" she said. "My friends...the guards..they'll find you!"

Probe turned around and gave her a manic grin. "Oh, I have planned for that. My golems, simple as they are, are very strong. And I have made so many to guard the path as well...there's no way that anypony will find this place. They'd have to fight an army to do so!"

Pinkamena struggled to keep calm in the face of Probe's declaration. An army. Of golems. Implacable rock monsters perfectly capable of knocking ponies out in one blow. And her friends would be charging straight towards them, because there's no way they would sit back and wait at home, not even Fluttershy. But...it would be fine, right? Her friends would be fine. They had to. They'd only just gotten to know each other properly! 

Probe was moving again. Something, she couldn't tell exactly what in the gloom, was floating in a haze of magic alongside him. A pit opened in her stomach as she looked at it, seeing the glint of light that spoke of metal. She just knew that thing was not something she wanted anywhere near her. But Probe was walking closer, slowly. There was a look of deranged glee on his face, betraying just how much he was enjoying watching her reaction.

Pinkamena realised in that moment that they didn't have time to wait for the rescue party. Probe was here now, and he wasn't going to wait politely for someone to interrupt him after everything he had been through to get to this point. She, Pinkie and Surprise were on their own. They had to escape. And she was going to have to make the first move, as her two headmates were still too scared to move. 

Her mind whirred desperately as Probe drew closer. Soon, an idea of what she could do presented itself in her mind. A fairly terrible plan, all things considered. It was a desperate ploy that could, if she pulled it off, help keep them safe. But there was no guarantee she would be able to do it- far from it in fact. It relied on skills that were far more Surprise and Pinkie's area than hers. And even in the best scenario...she cringed. No matter what happened next, it was not going to be pleasant for her.





Ponyville was in an uproar. Two guards, their helmets badly dented, had stumbled into the barracks, pouring out a panicked story to anyone who would listen. The alarm had gone out, and the news spread like wildfire through the town. Before Swift Strike could even send out a message, the four remaining elements of harmony had gathered.

"How could you let her get attacked by that?! You're meant to be the best!" Rainbow said, jamming her face into one of the battered guards. 

"Rainbow, leave him alone. It wasn't his fault he was knocked unconscious," said Twilight. Inwardly though, she could understand the frustration her friend felt, and sympathised with the other mare. But at the same time, she knew that yelling at the guard wasn't going to change anything. They needed to focus on getting their friends back.

"The Princess is right, Miss Dash. Yelling at that stallion won't change the past," said Swift Strike, walking up to them in his armour. "Now, I can assure you that we will get Miss Pie home safe and sound. The best thing that you can do is to wai-"

"We're going with you," Twilight said bluntly. Swift Strike turned to her, opening his mouth to rebuke the notion, but the words died in his throat at the sight of the look in her eyes. looking around, he saw the same expression on the other Element Bearers, even Miss Fluttershy. He coughed awkwardly. 

"Very well then. But I must insist that you be careful."

When they got to the Everfree, the guards fanned out, looking for any sign of a trail. It did not take long for them to find the heavy, squarish footprints in the ground.

"What do you think made these tracks?" asked Twilight, looking at Swift Strike. He had insisted on staying close to the Princess and her friends, for their own protection. "They don't look like anything I've ever seen before."

"I don't recognise them either..." said Fluttershy quietly. Swift frowned. The footprints looked strange. Unnatural, even. They had assumed Probe had been the one to throw the rocks using telekinesis, presumably having somehow removed the magic suppressor, but now it looked like whatever these things were, they had taken Miss Pie.  The signs of something being dragged through the undergrowth only contributed to this idea. But it seemed the mares hadn't noticed, too distracted by the large footprints to take any notice of the smaller marks. He decided against pointing this out. Their reactions to the news wouldn't do anypony any good at this point.

"Golems!" cried a Pegasus scout ahead of them. The group looked up sharply, to see a pair of rocky figures lumbering towards them. The guards sprang into action, hacking at the rocky limbs until the magical creations were destroyed. Quickly, more reports of golems further ahead came back, stationed at various points along the trail they were following. It seemed Probe had been very busy. Swift and the princess looked at each other with determination on their faces and nodded. Swift gave the order to charge.

As Pinkamena Pie looked into the eyes of a monster, the Canterlot guards crashed through the undergrowth of the Everfree Forest. There was no grace to the fighters movements, only brutal rage. Leading the charge, fury blazing in their eyes, was Swift Strike and the remaining Elements of Harmony. The golems ran towards them as fast as they could, intent on slugging their opponents with all their might, and were met halfway. 

The golems were slow, but powerful. When they hit a pony, that pony was hit hard. But their slowness also meant that it was easy to dodge around their strikes, and their simple nature meant they telegraphed their every move. So while a few guards had to drop back, cradling injured body parts, that was only a small number out of the whole force bearing down the trail.

Earth ponies crushed the golems' rocky bodies under their hooves, whilst Unicorns and Pegasi pelted them with lightning, arrows and bolts of magic. Swift's spears ran one through, pinning it to a nearby tree, only for it to be totally disintegrated moments later by Twilight's powerful magic. Applejack and Rainbow Dash favoured a more physical approach, raining blows upon whatever had the misfortune to get in their way. Rarity supported them from a distance, using telekinesis to distract their simple-minded opponents with rocks and to tug them out of the way of anything that crept up behind them. Even Fluttershy had an angry look on her face. The gentle Pegasus did not fight herself, knowing her lack of strength would make her an easy target, but the sympathetic bear accompanying her had no such restrictions.

In this way, the rescue party charged down the forest path, following the golems like a trail of malevolent breadcrumbs and leaving only rubble in their wake.
> The Problem with Reality Warpers
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

At the end of the day, there is an undeniable problem with attempting to trap a reality warper, especially one capable of twisting space-time like a pretzel. Simply put, this is that it is basically impossible to contain them in such a way as to render their powers useless. Certain high-grade containment spells can accomplish this, but they require an absurd amount of magical energy to cast, roughly equal to the cumulative magic possessed by the average small town. Another method would be to deprive the reality warper of their magic, thus preventing them from using their abilities. Of course, in either case one would need to be capable of channelling almost absurd quantities of magic, and as Neuron Probe is not a Changeling Queen, nor a semi-immortal Centaur with a thirst for power, it can be safely assumed he did not have this ability.

Of course, reality warpers do have their own limitations, which prevent them from doing things like accidentally obliterating the universe with an ill-timed sneeze. But when it comes to something like removing their limbs from hastily-made, utterly mundane bindings in a cave, there is nothing, technically, that can get in their way.

The problem Pinkamena faced was that, in a manner of speaking, she wasn't a reality warper. She was too orderly and sensible to have the casual disregard for things like the laws of physics and common sense that all good reality warpers do. However, she still technically had the body of a reality warper; Pinkamena Diane Pie, better known simply as Pinkie Pie, had been a reality warper since birth. Her mind was shaped in the way that allowed her to take full advantage of her abilities, as was that of Surprise, the other personality sharing their collective brain.

Pinkamena was the only one of the three who could not look at the twisting fabric of reality and simply giggle. The experience was more likely to give her a blinding headache at the very least. Other possible reactions included things like dizziness and nausea. The latter problem, at least, had thankfully been slowly worn down by years of exposure to her more cheery counterpart's antics. But the tendency for blinding headaches still remained, and that was when she was watching in the 'passenger seat', so to speak. As for an attempt to twist reality personally? Trying to tear apart the foundation of the world because of its inconvenience, and force the world to accommodate her will? It was all but unthinkable. The last time she had done so, five years ago now, she had had a truly horrific headache as her mind tried to come to terms with the fact that she had seen and felt her leg stretch like rubber despite flesh and bone being completely unable of such a feat. It was all but impossible to hurt herself physically, what little instincts she had would see to that, but mentally it was a totally different story. 

With this in mind, the fact that she was trying to figure out how Pinkie's teleport trick worked as quickly as she could said a lot about the situation.

Probe was only a few steps away from her now. Her heart was racing as she strained and pulled at her bindings, her panic threatening to overwhelm her as she desperately tried to escape. She had to escape, she had to! She needed to make a hole, a tunnel, from here to...anywhere, honestly. Sugarcube Corner would be great, but she could land on the other side of the cave and she'd be happy, just so long as she got away from him. And it would hurt, but maybe if she closed her eyes and ran as soon as she could then it wouldn't be so bad. Right?

Probe chuckled at her futile efforts, and finally stepped to within touching distance. The sharpened piece of metal, came closer. She could see now that it was not a true scalpel, more likely a piece of a can or something, flattened and shaped roughly with rocks until it gained the approximate shape. But it was still metal, still sharp, and coming closer!

She screamed, and finally pulled at something in blind terror. Something, despite being intangible, went 'pop'. Pinkamena 
f̦̩̖̲̿
e̻̬͕̼̍̑̎ͣ̃
l̗̝̬͙͂͗
l and hit the floor.
She saw it all, felt it all, with no disconnect between body and mind like when Pinkie and Surprise did it. 

Probe looked into the hole in reality she had left behind.

This time, both Pinkamena and Neuron Probe screamed.





Halfway across the country in Manehatten, Discord jolted and gave a giant spit-take of lemonade, dropping the rest of his glass of cotton candy in the process. He whipped his head around and stared through the wall in the direction of Ponyville, thoroughly ignoring Luna's complaints of him getting lemonade all over her chess set. He had been confident that Laughter's bearer, given her abilities, would be able to protect herself from one deranged stallion, that he was free to tag along on the Princess's visit to the city and have some fun with her. That, obviously, was a mistake. He prepared to teleport-





Something was wrong. It hurt so much, things had twisted and shattered in front of her eyes that shouldn't have but they did and it hurt so much but somehow, Pinkamena still knew that something was wrong.  She had made a mistake somewhere, hadn't done it right. And she had been wrong, it was so, so much worse than she had expected, she couldn't run like this, her head, her mind, it all hurt too much, she couldn't even see straight. She screamed and screamed and he screamed too, her pain and his terror mixing in the air as whatever was in the tear she had made fell away, fell away into the void between the atoms and the frames and the letters that had hurt so much to see-

And then she was out of the body and into the mind, shuddering and shaking, held in a comforting embrace even as she slipped into true unconsciousness. 





The moment she emerged, her panic at Pinkamena's mistake overriding her fear of the doctor, Surprise wrenched reality back into place. Pinkamena's mistake had been simple in nature- it was too big a hole, and she'd forced it to stay open instead of closing naturally behind her. It was too unstable to last for long, but it had posed a risk to the immediate area. The rock they had been chained to was half gone as a result, torn away and flying through the gaps to who knew where. Hopefully it wouldn't hit someone. 





Discord relaxed as the hole closed and snapped his claws, yanking the piece of rock back into reality proper. It flew into the room and, of course, landed right on top of Luna's just-magically-cleaned chess set, narrowly missing the mare's snout. Regrettable, but far better than it landing directly on some poor sap somewhere else.

He hastily began babbling an explanation before the irate mare got the idea to blast him with concussive magic.





The remaining Elements of Harmony and their accompanying guards barely felt a thing. The unicorns noticed the most, Twilight especially feeling the brief burst of wrongness coming from just up ahead. Something had happened. 

'Hold on girls,' she thought desperately, blasting yet another golem into a tree, 'we're almost there!'





Probe had stopped screaming, probably from lack of breath, but he was still staring into the space Pinkamena had previously occupied. Surprise gulped, and began to slowly edge away.

Behind her, completely ignored until now, the small Timberwolf abruptly began to snarl and bark. Jumping, she whiled around, only to hastily dive to the side to avoid the young cub's pounce. 

Unseen by Surprise, Probe twitched at the sudden noise and slowly turned around. In some ways he was actually lucky. Had he had a tighter grip on his sanity, his catatonia might have lasted months at the very least. But with his actual, far more tenuous grip on things, coupled with his growing single-minded obsession with a certain pink mare, he had actually managed to remain vaguely functional.

Of course, at this point he couldn't do things like reason, or think straight, or even remember what exactly he was trying to do in that cave. All he really new that he wanted the pink mare in front of him for...something, and that he was angry.

And so, instead of using his magic, which would have been a far more sensible decision, he simply let out a wordless scream of rage and charged.

Surprise, taken unawares, didn't have the time to turn around again before his shoulder slammed into her side, sending her sprawling. She gave a pained gasp at the impact, the pain settling into ribs. That was going to bruise for sure. Nothing was probably broken though- it took more than that to break the bones of an Earth Pony.

Probe dashed forward and reared up unsteadily, clearly aiming to slam his hooves into her as hard as he could. As he came down, she bucked out with a hind leg. He took the hit with an audible 'Oof' and fell to the side, missing her. His legs half-collapsed under him as they struck the unforgiving stone floor, and he let out another yell, half angry, half pained.

Now the Timberwolf howled, and ran in, patience expended. It pounced and she rolled awkwardly to one side. An outstretched paw clipped her side, scratching three long lines into her skin. The Timberwolf's momentum carried it across the floor, and it landed with a wooden clatter as she scrambled to her hooves.

Probe, thinking slightly clearer now, tried to conjure a rope to bind her. The magical lasso barely tightened around her chest before she turned her body fluid, allowing it to slip through the loop as she merely cantered forwards. She ducked under the Timberwolf's second pounce and dodged telekinetically-hurled rocks to the beat of a twitching tail. 

Next, Probe grabbed her, lifting her into the air, but his magical grip was too weak to hold her for more that a few moments. Surprise dropped, and this time had to pull a hind-leg out of the Timberwolf's closing jaw, drawing fresh blood as it grated against the young monster's teeth. She gasped in pain and landed awkwardly, on her hooves but only just. Her leg gave a painful throb as she put weight on it. Probe darted in, and she dove to one side, but her injured leg protested and trailed behind. Probe tripped over it, and the impact sent both of them to the floor. Surprise bounced with the impact, and ended up against the cave wall.

Surprise breathed heavily, trying to catch her breath even as Probe struggled to his hooves, somehow still finding the strength to carry on. He limped towards her, horn lighting up. The uncomfortably familiar sight of the makeshift scalpel came floating back through the air towards him as he advanced. By now, his face was a mask of fury, all other thoughts and feelings having long since departed his mind. Considering that it was probably more than a little broken by Pinkamena's warp, some part of her quietly realised, feeling angry might be all Probe's mind was actually capable of at the moment. The Timberwolf, growling lowly, was slowly circling them both.

She recognised this scene. She had seen it, on rare occasions, when carnivorous animals chased their prey onto the family farm. It was the part just before the pack leader killed its prey. Icy fear flooded her at the thought.

"NononoNONONO!"

And before Surprise could do anything more, Pinkie Pie finally retook control of her body. 

Pinkamena had knocked herself unconscious trying to escape. Surprise's desperate fight had left her battered and injured. The monster walking towards them had hurt and terrorised them all in the present, in the past, and in uncountable nightmares in-between. Neuron Probe had, bluntly put, been a blight on her life for nearly as long as she could remember. She was scared, terrified even, but more than that now she was increasingly angry, and sick and tired of the whole bucking mess. Pinkie rolled onto her back, braced herself against the gave wall, and met Probe's eyes.

"I'm tired of being scared of you," she told the deranged stallion. She doubted he really understood her, but it felt good to say the words none the less. Probes only reaction to the sudden change in demeanour and defiant words was to snarl, come closer quicker-

Pinkie bucked him in the chest with every last scrap of natural strength she had. Probe went flying across the cave, the Timberwolf watching him arc over its head. He hit the opposite wall, and crumpled to the floor. In the moment of silence that followed, Pinkie heard the low echo of slightly ragged breathing separate to her own, and relaxed. He was unconscious.

Her attention returned to the TImberwolf as it howled, angrily. She watched it, tired and almost disinterested and it made to leap. As it's paws left the ground, she began to tug herself back to her bedroom in Sugarcube Corner.

"PINKIE!!"

Abruptly, a bolt of crackling purple energy crashed into the Timberwolf's chest, colliding with some sort of metal construction there that had a gem embedded in it. The gemstone reacted with its own pulse of bright energy, and the Timberwolf disintegrated in mid air- its various pieces flung in all directions by the force of the magical explosion.

Pinkie blinked, and looked towards the cave entrance, releasing her grip on space-time. Sure enough, Twilight Sparkle stood there, breathing heavily, obviously half-exhausted by the journey there.

Pinkie raised a hoof and gave Twilight a tired wave, matching it with an equally tired, but content smile. "Heya Twilight. You should see the other guy."

There was a pause as Twilight gave her a look, before running towards her into the cave, a relieved smile on her face. Behind her, their other friends appeared, along with a lot of guards. "No, seriously, you need to tie him up before he wakes up, I think he's even nuttier than he was to start with now, with the whole living in a cave thing and all the warping. Oh, and a lot more hurt."

She would have said more, but by that point she was too busy being hugged by her friends (and then forgiving them for squeezing one injury or another) to really consider doing anything else for a while. At least there were guards taking care of Probe.

Eventually, they broke away, and helped her to her hooves. "Let's get y'all home," said Applejack.

"I can't wait! It's like it's been years!" smiled Pinkie happily.

The moment was unfortunately then somewhat ruined by Twilight demanding a visit to the hospital instead, but Pinkie just gave a tired giggle and nodded her head in agreement. It didn't really matter, after all. She was safe.