Additional contributions by MixMassBasher.
To pink pony who lives with baked goods,
Pink pony can come to Yickslurbertfest. But no more spam mail. Spam mail bad. I SMASH spam mail!!! Rrrraaaaaaa!!!
-Prince Rutherford
Dear Pinkie Pie,
Why did you bring your pet; whom is a cold blooded animal, to the freezing Yakyakistan!?!
Your animal loving friend,
Fluttershy
Dear Fluttershy,
Obviously, as I am immune to pretty much all known physics, that extends to my pet as well. I'm sure the writers want to maintain that "No animals were harmed in the making of this episode."
Sincerely,
Pinkie Pie
Dear Prince Rutherford,
Since I sent Pinkie to learn more about your culture, I think it’s fair you learn about ours. You know how we spent the whole fucking night to clean up the snow out of your homes? That’s called Winter Wrap Up. It’s where ponies of all races get together and clear winter for spring. They work together.
The lesson learned: Get your fucking head out of your ass and ask for help. Your people are suffering because of you. You bitch.
And ponies say I’m bad!?!
-Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princess Celestia,
Yeah, Twilight's right. What are we getting through our Treaty of Friendship? There's nothing further north except more Fucking Cold. Is there gold in those mountains or something?
-Pinkie Pie