//------------------------------//
// Princess Celestia Has Dyed, Part 4 
// Story: Letters from an Irritated Princess 
// by Tired Old Man 
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Journal Entry 20/7: 003

Date: “Pink” Wednesday, apparently. Entries 001 and 002 formerly presumed today was a normal Wednesday.

Yesterday, my sister had lost her marbles. Oh, how I wish that statement referred to her bag of marbles lost long ago, but this is not so literal an interpretation.  

We have pushed her a bit too far with our prank. Sunny and Moony dyeing her coat should have been the stopping point, but then I had the truly devilish idea of applying tinted contacts while she slept.

Today, I greatly regret such a decision. My sister has fled the premises after falsely believing I would cut her coat hair in an attempt to fix the dyeing issue. To think she’d leap to such a conclusion… but given her constantly escalating paranoia, I suppose this was inevitable, in a way.

But I digress. She needs to come back soon, preferably today. I’m already fielding far too many questions asking about where she is, most of them coming from ponies with cameras… on second thought, all of the questions came from ponies with cameras. Taking a picture of her while she’s pink must be quite the prize for the news and tabloids. Hrmm… I wonder just how much that is—

Ah, there’s the guards now. Hopefully they bring the news I’ve been waiting for.

...What do you mean the renovation crew left?! Weren’t they supposed to repaint the walls a fresh coat of white at this hour?

A pink pony attacked them? Well, Celestia didn’t ask them to paint over any pink splotches, so who… Oh. Ooooh noooo. That’s her solution to the problem? It’s not watercolor paint, what is she thinking?!

Then, unfortunately, I will have to validate her previously false belief. Guards, relay this order to the other castle staff:

Keep a watchful eye out for my sister. She will make a return, and when she does, kindly escort her to her chambers. Pretend nothing is wrong with her return, regardless of her appearance. Don’t give her any signs or impressions of anything suspicious in store for her. Tell her that I’m resting in my quarters, and when she inevitably asks if I told you to state that, tell her I’m actually in the kitchen instead ensuring her new batch of “secret” cupcakes are as far away from pink in color as possible, and I’ll bring them to her when they’re done.

If she asks that I’m sampling said cupcakes, also say yes. I realize I’m asking you to lie through your teeth, but this is the most convincing lie you could tell her. It’s been true a few times before; just not now.

Once she enters the room, cast a soundproof barrier around the top section of her tower. What I’m going to do in there can and will get loud. On that note, ensure a few of the maids have earmuffs, and locate Sunny and Moony. I’ll need their assistance for this.

I sincerely hope she won’t be desperate enough to paint some of her mane, but if she does, she really won’t like what comes next. Should that happen, you maintain that barrier as if your very lives depended on it. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find a good pair of shears.