Sleepless in Ponyville
Dear Twilight Sparkle:
HOLY MOTHER OF ME your dreams are so fucking hardcore!
I'm terribly sorry, Twilight, but I'm going to have to drug you. We really need your dreams.
Your soon-to-make-millions-off-the-porn-industry former teacher, Princess Celestia.
P.S.: Say hi to the olden pony and the headless horse for me.
Dear Scootaloo:
Congratulations on obtaining a new older sister figure. Just make sure not to fuck up her flying lessons, or she might decide to take you on her take-your-sister-to-work-day tour.
Of course, it might not be so bad. We hear that the Rainbow Factory really likes flightless pegasi for some reason.
Thy new favorite princess, Luna.
Dear Rarity:
Seriously?! Using your own sister as slave labor?! That's low, even for you. Spike may be swayed by your charms, but I know better.
Your disgruntled un-sister, Sweetie Belle.
Dear Olden Pony:
How do you expect me to find your stupid horseshoe? I don't even have a head. And besides, if it's as rusty as you say it is, why don't you just buy a shiny new one?
Sincerely, the headless horse.
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Headless Horse, you are headless. You wrote a letter. Therefore, your argument is invalid.
Ooh! Sounds like a good idea for a new fanfic. "The diary of a disgruntled un-sister".
4031739
It appears that the nonexistant story headless horse is the one with the most common sense around here. And he's either an earth pony, or a unicorn, we can't tell, you know, no head and all, not a pegasus though, no wings.
Twilight may not make any money off of Celestia recording her dreams, but she will become incredibly famous. More famous than saving Equestria three times ever made her. Soon she will be getting laid left and right. And up and down. And back and fourth. And upside down and downside up. And in a harness suspended from the ceiling. And on a big rack shaped like an X that can pivot in the middle left and right and forward and back three hundred sixty degrees with each leg strapped to a different arm of the X putting her in several easily accessible positions. And with blindfolds and whips and chains and ball gags. And latex and leather and lace and lingerie. And riding crops and cattle prods and branding irons. And that is just the foreplay. Lucky Twilight. She will be so happy. And satisfied. And exhausted. And so covered in bukake she will look like a Jackson Pollock painting.
KBO.
Tha...This! I LOVE IT!!