Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

The Best Night Ever (Addendum)

Dear Aunt Celestia:
I appreciate you offering me these tickets, however, I must inform you I will not be able to attend for personal reasons.

Oh, who am I kidding? You and I both know even if I did come, I'd be sneaking off with Captain Shining Armor during the opening musical and having wild, freaky, magical sex with him the entire evening, so I'm just going to drop the pretense. I'm thinking this time, it's going to be in cousin Blueblood's airship. I can't wait to see the look on his face after we're done. By the time we're through, he's going to have to commission a whole new one, because there's no way he's going to be able to get out all the stains we're going to leave. By the way, good luck with security.

Sincerely, Princess Cadence Notevil Goodpony.

No really, sincerely, your very horny adopted niece and alicorn of hot steamy love, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.

---

Dearest Sister,

We cannot help but notice thou did not invite us to this Grand Galloping Gala.

We demand to know why thee would do such a thing? Surely we deserve the same love and affection as thou recievest, no?

Your enraged, and very confused sister, Princess Luna

Author's Note:

These letters were written by SpacePaladin and SuperPinkBrony12, respectively.

In hindsight, given their completely unexplained absence, I really should have done a response from Luna and Cadance.

Comments

[auramane]

You took my correction... and didn't credit me? I'm so offended.

*runs off and cries*

[Tatsurou]

Dearest Sister,
A thousand years ago, events like the Gala were drunken orgies where we frolicked with our warriors and rewarded them for their bravery by rutting them senseless while they fought for the honor of mounting us first. I'm sure you remember these events, as I do as well, quite fondly.
However, in recent times, events like the Gala are stuffy, formal affairs where nobles mingle politely and the most you can expect to happen is some countess gets dreadfully embarrassed and angry when some drink is spilled on her. Seriously, why these events are so romanticized still is beyond me.
I did not invite you, Luna, because - as disconnected from modern times as you are - had you spent more than ten minutes in the same room as those stuffed up, self important, cowardly leeches, you would likely have gone on a rampage, gelded several of them, drowned several others in booze, and likely set the buffet on fire while demanding where the good stuff was, all in all completely destroying the affair.
...by the way, you're totally invited next year. Wear your classic party clothes. You know, the toga that turns transparent and clingy when wet. The stallions that still have a spine will love you.
Your co ruler and sister,
Celestia.
P.S. Enclosed is a list of nobles I actually need to run the country properly, complete with photographic references. Familiarize yourself with them completely, and make sure they, at least, escape the next Gala unscathed. Also included is details regarding their age, marital status, and images of any spouses and/or romantic entanglements. Take that into account if you decide to engage with them in the older traditions of rewarding service to the realm.

[Changeling-Drone]

3673025 now thats a gala I would see

SOMEONE MAKE A FIC OF THAT

[Sinful Pickle]

3673025 This absolutely needs to happen.

[meerkat8472]

3673025 Heck yes, this would be epic!

[keaton-furman-prower]

3673025 3673116 3673287 3673302 I don't know if I could pull off something as outrageous as that, but I'll talk to milesprower06 and get back to you on that.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Sweet. So Celestia's a tyrant, Luna's socially akward, and Cadence is a slut. And to top it off when Twilight's added to the mix she's a grump, and sex obessed. Equestria is screwed, and it doesn't even know it.

[Neko Majin C]

Cadence handled that like a boss.

KBO.

[ShadowLDrago]

3673025

Someone has to make a fic of that!