Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

The Show Stoppers

Author's Note:

Original letter here.

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

Why of course cutie marks lock you into a single occupation! They’re great for controlling the mindless masses of Equestria! Most ponies will never be effective dissenters, because they don’t have resistance cutie marks. And, of course, those who do have anarchist or revolutionary as their destiny will have it slapped onto their plots for all to see. It makes quashing potential rebellions that much easier.

On the other hoof, the idea of reaching a certain age when one’s cutie mark just appears has a certain appeal to it. Perhaps I should find a way for foals to be born with them, that way we could begin their, ah, training from the moment they’re born.

It might also help those three fillies, especially if they think they’re going to get cutie marks in library maintenance. That’s Fax Machine’s job. Still, I believe these little fillies, with their limited brainpower and incredible determination, could make for useful slave labor once we can convince them that it is their path to their Cutie Marks.

And if you ever do get pissed and blow them up, I do know a good lawyer. Unfortunately, he doesn’t work for bitchy former students.

But for now, let’s talk about that talent show. I already know everything about it. I must say those three were quite bad. So they probably did deserve the Last Place ribbon. Indeed, if they’d gotten a ribbon for Last Place, maybe that would have hammered in the fact that they suck. But noooo, Cheerilee had to give a ribbon for victory to the brain-dead degenerates of the school.

And as for those song lyrics you wrote up, I hate like them. It's a good thing too bad you never obtained a musical cutie mark.

Your faithful tyrant princess, Celestia.

Comments

[DarkChiyo]

Your responses are awesome!
Can´t wait for the response to Lesson Zero

[JimboTex]

I just wonder how you're going to handle "Best Night Ever," since Celestia was the one writing the letter in the original Twibitch Chronicles...

[Themaskedferret]

3657229 I knew you were real Santa!!!

[keaton-furman-prower]

3657982 Ho Ho Ho

[SuperPinkBrony12]

3657549 Indeed. Maybe it will be from Luna's perspective, or Blueblood's.

[Reisentanith]

It makes quashing potential rebellions that much easier.

Poor Sickle and Hammer.

[Tehonepony]

3660992 Iron Cross is cool though.

[Neko Majin C]

That song was awesome, Celestia, you are just being a jerk.

KBO.