Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

Wonderbolts Academy

Author's Note:

Original letter here.

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

Are you serious? They accepted Rainbow into the Wonderbolt Academy?! Well, I guess the Wonderbolts' best days are now officially behind them. Especially since they kicked out that promising young recruit... what was her name? Thunder Powder, or something like that.

Anyway, don't worry about Pinkie's weird behavior. She was probably just high on lightning dust or something. Especially if she was charitable enough to want to personally deliver a care package. Which, come to think of it, would probably have way better stuff than the crap they serve in those academy cafeterias. Have you ever tasted that stuff?

I must say, you really made the right choice going off to deliver the package personally. I mean, how else could you have had a near-death encounter with a deadly twister? I can think of very few things I love more than watching you scream in terror as you fall towards your inevitable death. Of course, why Rainbow would bother to save you is beyond me.

But before I go any further, let me get one thing straight: you say that Rainbow managed to catch you... with a cloud? Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you supposed to fall right trough them unless you're a pegasus? How can you land on a cloud, let alone bounce on it? Did you secretly apply the cloud-walking spell onto yourself before falling on it? If so, then am I supposed to believe you also performed it on the others?

If so, then I'm glad you enjoy spending time with your friends so much! I should see if there are any other ways I can make you keep spending time with them.

Especially since Rainbow left you all on that floating island with no way down.

Your friend-appreciating former teacher, Princess Celestia.

P.S.: Huge green gem? Oh please, next you'll say it's being guarded by a red echidna or something.

---

Dear Rainbow Dash:

I'm happy to see you have a little sister figure now! Just remember to follow my example for being a good big sister, and everything should be just fine!

Your sister-loving monarch, Princess Celestia.

Comments

[Lag Incarnate]

It's funny because flying.

[Tobyc]

Especially since they kicked out that promising young recruit... what was her name? Thunder Powder, or something like that.
Anyway, don't worry about Pinkie's weird behavior. She was probably just high on lightning dust or something.

Heh, nice one.

[Pyromaniac]

Especially since they kicked out that promising young recruit... what was her name? Thunder Powder, or something like that.

Oh my god... an AU where Lightning Dust is Celestia's student.

This is why I need to sleep.

[PiMan]

I'm thinking Thunder Powder could be Dust's rule 63 name.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Which, come to think of it, would probably have way better stuff than the crap they serve in those academy cafeterias. Have you ever tasted that stuff?

No and I'm pretty sure I don't want to. Why do places like hospitals and military academies have such bad tasting menus?

[Starlight Shadow]

Thunder Powder, or something like that.

She was probably just high on lightning dust

troll.me/images/rainbow-dash-excited/i-see-what-you-did-there.jpg

[keaton-furman-prower]

4031621 I don't have time to write something like that, but maybe somebrony else will. It's an interesting idea, at least

4032608 4032994 4034165 4032184 Between this and "Magic Butt Sticker", I'm surprised by how the silliest lines are the ones that become memorable

4033169 I'd read that

4033103 He had a ghost writer

4011830 Never gonna happen

[Pyromaniac]

4034383

As are the best.

[ShadowLDrago]

4033611

Finally someone got the Sonic the Hedgehog reference! I thought i was the only one.

[Neko Majin C]

Thunder Powder, or something like that.

Something like that.

KBO.

[Phazon]

Anyway, don't worry about Pinkie's weird behavior. She was probably just high on lightning dust or something. Especially if she was charitable enough to want to personally deliver a care package.

Well of course she's going to deliver her care package in person. Do you know how stupid you'd have to be to deliver drugs by mail? Granted, whatever drug laws Celestia has are clearly not being enforced if Pinkie hasn't been arrested, but that's just begging to get caught.

... Oh wait, you mean food! Right! Of course, food.