Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

The Return of Harmony, Part 1

Author's Note:

Original letter here.

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for releasing me from my stone prison. Why, that tyrant! She never liked my beautiful powers, and she spent her time terrorizing the ponies of Equestria!

Of course, perhaps I ought to thank the three blank-flanked fillies who you sent to me. After all, it was their fighting that allowed me to be freed in the first place. Truly their chaos-making abilities are unmatched by anypony else in the universe! I ought to make them my top generals for my chaotic conquest.

My, now that I'm free, we can finally have glorious chaos, rather than that monotonous tyranny which has gripped our beloved Equestria for over 1000 years! After all, what fun is there in always having to do the work assigned to you by your magic butt sticker, or listen to everything your princess says, or making sure that winter gets wrapped up on time? No, we need some good, old-fashioned chaos to save us from boredom.

So, first off, your friends. Seeing how poor Applejack's so very bad at lying, I think I ought to give her some tips on how to do it. After all, honesty is nice, but where does it gets you when you are trying not to hurt somepony's feelings?

Next, Pinkie Pie. I admit, her love of my beautiful chaos flatters me, but she has a very bad drug problem. I know she's going to be bitchy for a while after I cut her off, but it's for her own good.

Rarity, of course, really needs to get her priorities straight. I mean, if she saw a diamond and her sister both about to fall into a volcano, she'd probably save the diamond! Therefore, I've decided to help her see the beauty in things that aren't incredibly expensive. Like a boulder, for example. Not very shiny or expensive, but then again, maybe she can come to appreciate it.

As for Fluttershy, she really needs to grow a spine. I'll make sure she learns how to be assertive, and I'll even pay her back if she's unsatisfied.

Finally, Rainbow needs to learn how to stop being such an egotistical pig, so I need to... oh, wait, she flew away. I just don't know what went wrong.

Anyway, I thank you, Twilight Sparkle, keeper of the Element of Magic, and future Queen of Chaos, for releasing me from my prison and enabling me to take over the world.

Your new and forever chaotic King of Equestria, Discord.

Comments

[Tatsurou]

... ... ...
This makes a scary amount of sense. Seriously, it does.

[Changeling-Drone]

Can someone make a fic where this is discords goal and mane six go with him

[milesprower06]

Magic Butt Sticker.

Just...yes.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

so I need to... oh, wait, she flew away. I just don't know what went wrong.

Oh I can just hear the Duck Hunt dog laughing behind my back about this. That stupid mutt.

[Starlight Shadow]

magic butt sticker

My sides are on fire.

[Neko Majin C]

Poor Discord and Twilight. There pleasure will not last very long. It is too bad, really.

KBO.

[Phazon]

Truly their chaos-making abilities are unmatched by anypony else in the universe! I ought to make them my top generals for my chaotic conquest.

And that's why Twilight turned on Discord. She wanted the CMC as her slaves, not her generals.