• Published 16th Dec 2013
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Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student - keaton-furman-prower



Princess Celestia sends Twilight Sparkle to Ponyville to learn about friendship. This is going to be fun!

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Amending Fences

Author's Note:

Original letter here.

Dear Moondancer:

I think I should warn you: Twilight has a rare form of alicorn STD which has no known cure. Have fun!

~Princess Celestia.

P.S.: I’ve currently found myself with a surplus of romance novels, and thus I have decided to give the ones I can spare to you. Once again, have fun!


Dear Twilight Sparkle:

On second thought, I’m perfectly happy living my life as a friendless loser. You know, like somepony I know.

And besides, that book trick you showed me can keep me happy for as long as I live. Especially with all those smutty books the Princess just gave me.

~Moondancer.

P.S.: Flash Sentry and your brother both agree that I’m hotter than you.


Dear Minuette:

Twilight fired me a week ago. I’m just messing with people now.

~Spike.


Dear Lyra:

Why would I want to invite you? You’re a sicko with a human fetish.

~Twilight.


Dear Twilight:

Oh yeah, and what about you and your mirror world adventures? Yeah, I know about them, and I’ve seen what you’ve been doing with Sunset Shimmer. And you call me a sicko?!

~Lyra Heartstrings


Dear Sunset Shimmer:

Do you mind if I drop off a friend dangerous terrorist in your world? I’m certain that your world is more than capable of handling anything she can do against you.

~Princess Twilight Sparkle


Dear Starlight Glimmer:

I know you want to bang my sexy plot, but you’re a wanted criminal. Why are you spending so much time hanging out in the open like that? Get a better disguise!

~Princess Twilight Sparkle

P.S.: I should warn you that if you get caught, I shall make sure that justice is served. Sweet, sweet justice. And I can guarantee that I will make you scream. Oh yes, you will scream.

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