Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

The Mane Attraction

Author's Note:

Original letter here.

Dear Rara:

I'm know that our reunion got off to a bumpy start, but it all worked out in the end, didn't it?

So... I was wondering... would you like to meet up later tonight? Have a drink? Have some fun?

Your old friend, Applejack.

P.S.: You know exactly what I mean by “fun.”

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Dear A.J.:

You. Me. Barn. Tonight.

Sincerely, Rara.

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Dear Countess Coloratura:

Your mane style looks familiar. You wouldn't happen to be related to us, would you?

Sincerely, Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk.

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Dear Countess Coloratura:

You're stealing my act. Stop it.

Sincerely, Lady Gaga.

Comments

[Phazon]

So... I was wondering... would you like to meet up later tonight? Have a drink? Have some fun?

Your old friend, Applejack.

P.S.: You know exactly what I mean by “fun.”

If I didn't know any better, I'd say that the "Applejack" who wrote this letter was actually Twilight.

[Moonlit Path]

7031631 At least Twilights not a changeling.

[ShadowLDrago]

Dear A.J.:
You. Me. Barn. Tonight.
Sincerely, Rara.

Now here ladies and gentlemen, is where I am presented with a conundrum. What joke to make? I could go with a classic,

, or, since all things considered it's a tad low brow, I could always use a particular favorite of mine,

, were this unfunny, I could have always used

or

Which I suppose it is, in a cosmic sort of way, but, in the end, I'm going to have to go with one rarely used.

Dear Countess Coloratura:
You're stealing my act. Stop it.
Sincerely, Lady Gaga.

Nah, unlike you, she can actually sing WITHOUT autotune.

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Countess Coloratura,

Mind if I Parody your latest song. I promice it will be better than my other parody Perform This Way.

Your Supreme Party Pony,
Cheese Sandwhich

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Dear Countess Coloratura:
Your mane style looks familiar. You wouldn't happen to be related to us, would you?
Sincerely, Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk.

Funny, a lot of people were saying the same thing about Starlight Glimmer in the Season 5 premiere. Now we just need a pony who looks somewhat similar to Adagio Dazzle, and the trio is complete.

[Neko Majin C]

My dearest Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,

Day twenty-one. It has been a full fortnight and a half since last I was able to bask in the glorious radiant glow that is your countenance. My apologies, fair maiden, I have not the slightest inkling why my chirography is thus. Though, it could be a combination of draining my onomatopoeia resources four days ago and bivouacking in the glossary. I also may be losing my mind. I have needs. I needed to here you berate me, so I have been drawing you over and over again, however, I am terrible. You are just five sticks, an oval, a squiggly line, a circle, and two triangles. It is not good enough. When I draw your mouth, all you do is scream, "KILL ME! KILL ME!! KIIIILLLLL MEEEE!!!" At least, I think that is what you are screaming. It is not so much a scream as it is nails on a chalkboard, vocalized.

Signed your very lonely, hungry, paper slave,
Neko Majin C.

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~KBO.