Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

Look Before You Sleep

Author's Note:

Original letter here.

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

I thought you were going to take care of that town from now on. Seriously, if you say you're going to help a town pull itself back together, you ought to follow through on that promise. So don't come whining to me because one of your friends is being lazy. Teach her obedience yourself.

Of course, I feel obligated to question just about everything in your life, especially if it makes no fucking sense. Like why somepony tried to make Applesack and Charity work together on their tree project. Seriously, it's like those bad shipping fanfics you used to write when you were a whiny brat. Where were you when the work was being organized?!

Oh, that's right. You were trying to work on your sexual frustration. Perhaps you should consider moving back to Canterlot with your brother and foalsitter. I hear they are quite interested in the possibility of a threesome. Of course, you could always order you subjects to satisfy you if you were a princess. How very tragic that you are not.

But yeah, you clearly have a problem if you're resorting to having a sleepover with Applesack and Charity to relieve yourself. On the other hoof, banging them would ensure that you do not contribute to the gene pool, which would be a great relief for me.

I find it interesting that you mention Slumber 101: Everything You Wanted To Know About Sleepovers But Were Afraid to Ask. I actually put that book in Shining Armor's bookshelf when he and Cadance were in high school. If it encourages you to bang only mares, however, then it may have more uses than I thought.

So what, pray tell, was the best part of the night? You spent it all getting them worked up, ready to finally relieve your sexual frustrations, when BANG! Tree in the house! Mood killer! And then, instead of trying to get rid of it, you simply stood there and read your book trying to figure something out. Meanwhile, Applesack and Charity are getting all romantic with each other and helping each other toss the tree at fax machine. I can see where this is going, and it sure as hell doesn't involve you!

Your faithful, joyful, happily-ordering-her-subjects-to-satisfy-her monarch, Princess Celestia.

Comments

[SuperPinkBrony12]

I hate you so much Princess Celestia, you know that?!

[Bad_Seed_72]

Is Twilight ever gonna get laid in either of these stories?

[Zytharros]

Okay! Okay! Uncle! Uncle! Concept faved alone!

[Sinful Pickle]

3636610 I hope not. This Twi is a bitch.

[Blackdrag-rose]

Now all we need is a set of letters from Spike (Fax Machine) and the set will be complete.

[Changeling-Drone]

Enough fiw references!

[JustAnotherTimeLord]

Dis gon b gud.

[Reisentanith]

3637839 Technically Applesack and Charity are Hoofbeat references.

[Skeeter The Lurker]

Pffftttttt.

That end line... Such salt to the wound...

~Skeeter The Lurker

[Neko Majin C]

Meanwhile, Applesack and Charity are getting all romantic with each other... I can see where this is going, and it sure as hell doesn't involve you!

I see it going a little something like this... Awww yeah!

KBO.

[No I Will Not]

Applesack and Clarity.

I giggled too much when I read that.