Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

Hiatus Bonus Chapter: The Shawflank Redemption

Author's Note:

Original Chapter Here.

Dear Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle:

You're still not allowed anywhere near the Castle. And especially not near Discord.

Sincerely, Princess Celestia.

---

Dear Cutie Markers:

Howdy do! I'm so glad to talk to you once more! I must admit, I'm still very grateful that you liberated me from that statue. Standing in a single position does tend to get boring, and I kind of ran out of things to think about after the first decade or so.

Anyway, I hear that your friend the dodo is stuck in prison. Kind of surprising, if you ask me. After all, older ponies never get sent to prison (unless you want to count the moon or an iceberg as a prison), and yet the princesses have no problem sending foals there. I suppose I could help you, but honestly I don't know if that's worth my time.

Another thing I've heard is that you're all obsessed with obtaining your magic butt stickers. Well worry no more! I, Discord, can make your quest come to fruition with the snap of my talon! ...as long as you sign a contract stating that you shall be my slaves for the rest of eternity. And don't mind having my beautiful face on your butts for the rest of your life.

If all this seems just a bit daunting to you, I could always give you the simpler alternative: I hear you have a newspaper. I have some very interesting stories to tell, but I'm very picky when it comes to who I'm willing to share them with. That said, you three have already proven yourselves to be friendly enough, what with liberating me and all. So, for the sake of our friendship, I shall give you what I believe will be a sure front-pager!

Your eternally grateful interviewee, Discord.

Comments

[JDunk1971]

If Princess Celestia thought 'Gabby Gums' was bad...

[Lag Incarnate]

I'd listen to Discord's stories. They're probably all about the Glorfnids.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

4217544 She ain't seen anything yet.

[Neko Majin C]

If Discord was a true friend he would just snap his talon and make Scootaloo not be in prison.

KBO.

[Neko Majin C]

4241520 Actually, I have. I think it was the first thing I read by Miles. I found Twilight to be a wonderful and generous ruler who was magnanimous enough to let her subjects and lessers have the glorious honor of pleasuring her. Who would not want to be so blessed?

All heil the resplendent Princess Twilight Sparkle,.

[keaton-furman-prower]

4304041 For the most part, they're confined to FIW-Related episodes

[Moonlit Path]

I forgot, why is scootaloo in jail?