• Published 16th Dec 2013
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Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student - keaton-furman-prower



Princess Celestia sends Twilight Sparkle to Ponyville to learn about friendship. This is going to be fun!

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Magic Duel

Author's Note:

Original letter here.

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

Saddle Arabians, despite their elegant look, are somewhat lacking in terms of brain cells. Not unlike earth ponies and unicorns, really. So all it takes is some magic woodland creature juggling to keep them distracted while we figure out how to appropriately screw over their people. Some ponies worry that this could lead to militant factions of Saddle Arabians, who will violently attack us in the name of justice or something like that. But let’s be honest: what are the odds of that happening?

Also, this “Trixie” pony reminds me of a pony I used to know named Sunset Shimmer. Nothing important, really, just something that brought up old memories.

But anyway, I must admit I'm impressed by how she managed to beat you. If she hadn't been so pathetic the last time you wrote about her, I would have been quite optimistic about my chances to obtain a new student. But then, those evil red eyes and magic aura would probably have been a dead giveaway that she was on steroids.

Of course, your duel must have been quite epic. Not as incredible as my battle with Chrysalis, of course, but pretty decent, at least. Too bad she didn't simply use that age spell on you. I'll bet she could have raised you to become a much better mare than you are now.

What worries me the most, however, is how much you have been relying on the lesser races recently. I mean, taking lessons from the zebra? Relying on the coward pegasus who thinks she can talk to animals for information? How low have you sunk, Twilight?

Also, I don't understand why Trixie would want to turn Ponyville into an independent country. I mean, it would be just one city lying within the Democratic Pony's Republic of Equestria, and I'm sure they'd easily be crushed by the Eternal President King Hasbro.

Fortunately we don't have to utterly humiliate her anymore since you did it for us. And then you gave the Saddle Arabians a rather pathetic show of your skills (Or lack of, thereof). Good thing Trixie was repentant enough to spice things up a bit. She might not be as good at magic as you, but she certainly has good taste.

Your completely Democratic and benevolent ruler, Princess Celestia.

P.S.:If you had used some of your references to pop culture to allure that showpony, you'd be having a "private" show right now. I guess you're not too smart, huh?

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