Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

Hiatus Bonus Chapter: Gotta Bitch'em All

Author's Note:

Original Letter Here.

Dearest Sister:

Thou art so nice when talking to interdimensional bald apes. Thou could really be nicer to thy own family (and thy people).

Sincerely, Luna.

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Dear Princess Moonbutt:

Don’t get your hopes up. Celestia only opens portals to other dimensions when she gets really drunk. Sometimes the alcohol makes her nicer than usual.

Sincerely, Discord.

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Dear Ash:

So, you can get a bunch of rare candies if you use an old man and a beach? Well, I may not have either of those, but I do know an old donkey, and I also know a nice pool. I'm going to experiment!

Sincerely, Pinkie Pie.

P.S.: You know, I can’t help but get the strange feeling that we could have had something special in another life.

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Dear Pikachu:

Why are you so willing to accept that monkey’s dominion over you? I mean, I can’t escape Twilight because she has magic, and she’ll throw me into the fairy pit if I try to resist her. What about you? The Monkey doesn’t have any magic, and he doesn’t even lock you up into those prison balls! So what gives?!

Sincerely, Spike.

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Dear Princess Celestia:

Having watched my subjects suffer at the hands of the humans, I have decided to remove them from Earth and move them (Along with those humans who I believe are worthy of salvation) to a world full of peace, love, friendship, and harmony. After much deliberation, I decided that Equestria is perfect for this purpose.

However, a cursory glance led me to realize that I was looking at the wrong version of Equestria. So if anything or anyone managed to communicate with your world, I offer my apologies.

Sincerely, Arceus, lord and god of all Pokémon.

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Dear Applejack:

Me, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo are all going to the Pokemon world to get our cutie marks in Pokémon training. Smell ya later!

Future champion of the Kanto Equestria region, Apple Bloom.

Comments

[Neko Majin C]

Dear Luna,

Never bathe with a pokemon in the room because they pikachu.

Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's personal pokemon pun purveyor, producer, and provider,
Neko Majin C.

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~KBO.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Nice nods to other fics.

Dear Princess Moonbutt:
Don’t get your hopes up. Celestia only opens portals to other dimensions when she gets really drunk. Sometimes the alcohol makes her nicer than usual.
Sincerely, Discord.

That explains SO much.

[Jphyper]

Dear Pikachu

Why do you Pokémon insist on saying nothing but your own names? Why can't you talk normally? It's clearly physically possible, as that Meowth fellow proved. Is it some sort of mental block or something, or are you just being rude? Is there some sort of rule against it? Do you simply think it makes you endearing or adorable? If it's that last one, I can assure you that you, at least, do not need an obnoxious habit like that to endear yourself to others.

Perhaps I could offer you a few beers; that should loosen your lips a little. No, wait, that's a terrible idea. The last thing I need is to be next to a drunk 100,000-volt living electrical generator.

When you finally come to your senses and give up this annoying charade, maybe I'll be more willing to take you and your trainer a little more seriously.

-Jphyper

P.S.: Your trainer has been 10 years old for over twenty years now. What's up with that?

[euphgeek]

Dear Spike,
Pika pikachu. Chu pikachu. Pika pi, pikachu chu pikachu. Chu pi pika pikachu.

Sincerely,
Pikachu