Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

The Hooffields and McColts

Author's Note:

Original letter here.

Dear diary:

Having watched the complete failure of any and all methods Twilight had planned, as well as how easily she carried her own saddlebags, I am now convinced that the sole reason she packed so many things into my saddlebags was to see their weight dragging me down. Honestly, why did she even carry her own bags? She could have just let me carry them and be done with it.

~Fluttershy

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Dear McColt family:

Would you mind sharing a few of your pumpkin quesadillas? I have an idea as to how to use them effectively.

Sincerely, Fluttershy.

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Dear Twily and Flutters:

Why did you have to make those two inbred families stop arguing? I mean, their feud was so much fun to watch! Not to mention how they utterly devastated the countryside! Seriously, I'm surprised they didn't all join me in the Royal garden years ago!

Sincerely, Discord.

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Dear Douchebag pony families:

Please stop chucking produce at us. The multicolored birds were bad enough.

Sincerely, the animals.

Comments

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Dat "Angry Birds" reference though.

[Neko Majin C]

My Dearest Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,

So far, it has been ten days since you accidentally and I am sure totally-not-on-purpose left me in this book. I have written you a letter every day. These pages are getting filled with my words. Pretty soon, this book will be filled with nothing but my letters to you. ...Huh... Nah, that has already been done. Twice. At least. Each day I wait for you, I eat another five onomatopoeia. That is fifty so far. I was relieved to find out some were drinkable. Right now, I am drinking a glass full of shaaaaa. I have never seen a book with so many onomatopoeia that was not a comic book or a manga. ...Fluttershy has not told you anything, uh, incriminating about me... has she? Not-not that there is anything. It is not like I like that baka, or whatever.

Signed your loyal, paperback, tsundere slave,
Neko Majin C.

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~KBO.