Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

The Cutie Re-Mark

Original letter here.

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Dear Starlight Glimmer:

Don't feel too bad about your boyfriend. The last time I saw mine, he gave me a cheeky smile and got on a train. Last I heard of him he was stuck with my old mentor.

Your new teacher, Twilight Sparkle.

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Dear Twilight Sparkle:

Thank you for stopping Starlight Glimmer. It would have been a pain in the arse to deal with another idiot trying to mess with the laws of time. I still need time to recover after punching my way back to Gallifrey.

Sincerely, The Doctor.

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Dear Starlight Glimmer:

So you think you can just sit on my throne and not get punished?!

...Fine. As long as you don't go anywhere near my shed.

Sincerely, Fluttershy.

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Dear Fluttershy:

Of course I sat in your throne! How else was I supposed to make a point about the butterfly effect?

Sincerely, Starlight Glimmer.

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Dear Sunlight Shivers:

I'm sorry, do I know you?

Sincerely, Starlight Glimmer.

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Dear Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity:

Isn't it obvious? Any time I found a timeline where the five of you lived happily without me? I hunted all of you down and killed you before going back for Starlight.

...What? I wasn't just going to waste such an awesome opportunity, was I?

Sincerely happy, Twilight.

P.S.: The last timeline? That was the one where I succeeded in overthrowing Celestia.

Author's Note:

Finally! After a long period of writer's block, I finally finished with season 5!

Which is great, because Season 6 starts in less than two weeks! (and right on the day after my birthday, no less!)

Anyway I may or may not do the hiatus chapters. Depends on my motivation.

Comments

[Phazon]

P.S.: The last timeline? That was the one where I succeeded in overthrowing Celestia.

And yet you insisted on trying to restore the timeline and return to your friends.

[meerkat8472]

Well, you seem to have gotten over your writer's block, that was brilliant.

[Jphyper]

7031637 She must have screwed things up pretty badly. She probably had a lengthy discussion with her other self to find out how she did it and what mistakes to avoid. And then they spent a few hours in the royal bedchambers.

[ShadowLDrago]

Of course I sat in your throne! How else was I supposed to make a point about the butterfly effect?

P.S.: The last timeline? That was the one where I succeeded in overthrowing Celestia.

Oh god!

[MixMassBasher]

Aww really was hoping for a response to the Terminator letter referencing to the latest Terminator Movie.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Dear Sunlight Shivers:
I'm sorry, do I know you?
Sincerely, Starlight Glimmer.

Faking amnesia won't save you, Starlight.

[Neko Majin C]

Dear Starlight,

img11.deviantart.net/18d4/i/2016/071/3/0/how_cheddare_you__by_gray__day-d9uupq4.png
After creating that horrible timeline, I shudder to think what our Mistress has in store for you. However, after your fun-ishment, it will be time for your well-cum party. Where you will be given the opportunity to make our Mistress cum well. It will be just like your fun-ishment except this time, you will not be blindfolded, the time limit will be shortened by two minutes, and the punishment for failure will be even more bizarre.

Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and orientation director,
Neko Majin C.

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~KBO.

[_CheckMate_]

Dear Starlight Glimmer,
Wait, Sparkle actually believed that BS about an ex-boyfriend leading to a life of evil? Huh, well now you got yourself in close to strike where it hurts, I guess. Maybe I should come up with some sob story too...
Sincerely,
Queen Chrysalis

[Alex Warlorn]

Twilight, your boy friend is in another universe.

[Shadowmane PX-41]

Update, please?

[ShadowLDrago]

7249327

Yes.

[Circut Breaker]

Dear Fluttershy:
Of course I sat in your throne! How else was I supposed to make a point about the butterfly effect?
Sincerely, Starlight Glimmer.

(Insert long, drawn-out "oh")