Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

Flight To The Finish

Author's Note:

Original letter here.

Dear Diary:

Did you know that Ms. Harshwinny actually threatened to sue me for lying unless I changed my middle name to "Professionalism"? What is this, a totalitarian state or something?!

~Rainbow "Sucky-Middle-Name" Dash

---

Dear Scootaloo:

I must congratulate you for becoming the tribute representative of Ponyville for the Equestrian Hunger Games. I admit I thought that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon would defeat you, but then again, they're just earth ponies, so they could never compete against you.

Of course, the fact that your team has a pegasus who can't fly and a unicorn with crappy magic suggests that you simply got lucky. Still, I suppose you could have your friends Onion and Alohomora or whatever their names are join your team. Misery loves company, no?

Oh wait, I just remembered: they come from Cloudsdale. And Cloudsdale and Ponyville are competing. So I guess that means they're going to be your bitter enemies now. Oh well, I guess you can always laugh at them if Ponyville wins more medals. Or get laughed at if you lose.

Regardless, I think you have learned a valuable lesson today. Just because you suck at life doesn't mean you can't make others suck with you. Too bad Applesauce and Sweetie Belle still haven't figured that one out.

Love, Princess "Awesomer-than-thou" Celestia.

P.S.: Tell Rainbow Dash the answer is "Yes".

---

Dear Apple Bloom:

Why would I high-hoof you? You're a big disappointment for the whole family. Honestly, I'd rather have that cute little chicken as my granddaughter than you.

Your disappointed grandmother, Granny Smith.

Comments

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Dear Apple Bloom:

Why would I high-hoof you? You're a big disappointment for the whole family. Honestly, I'd rather have that cute little chicken as my granddaughter than you.

Your disappointed grandmother, Granny Smith.

Now that is just cold.

[Jphyper]

4421808

[JXWheeler]

Rainbow Factory... genius reference!

[Neko Majin C]

4423387 Aww, you beat me to it.

~Rainbow "Sucky-Middle-Name" Dash

I thought her middle name was "Danger." Rainbow Danger Professionalism Sucky-Middle-Name Dash. Her name is almost as long as Sir Reverend Doctor Senator Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert D.F.A Heavyweight Champion of the World **.

[Veryveryfluttershy]

Dear Diary:
Did you know that Ms. Harshwinny actually threatened to sue me for lying unless I changed my middle name to "Professionalism"? What is this, a totalitarian state or something?!
~Rainbow "Sucky-Middle-Name" Dash

Dear Rainbow Dash,

You know you can change it back, right? You only have to have "Professionalism" as your middle name for a short while, then you can change it back and say it was "Professionalism".

Loopholes are fun, aren't they?

Sincerely, Why Do You Care What My Name Is?

[user123]

4421808
that is stone cold.
I mean why give her the cold shoulder?
that will just be rocking her brain.

[Captain Olimar]

4427691 Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez

[Neko Majin C]

5992351 Yes, that is also a very long name. Like Abraham Delacey Giuseppe Casey Thomas O'Malley.