Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

Inspiration Manifestation

Author's Note:

Original letter here.

Dear Rarity:

Would you like to be my apprentice? You certainly did a better job of creating chaos than I ever dreamed!

Love, Discord.

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Dear Octavia:

Can you please explain why you and your fellow musicians left in the middle of our party and left us with a bunch of mariachi ponies?! Their music is so undignified!

Sincerely, Jet Set and Upper Crust

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Dear Vinyl Scratch:

I might be willing to apologize if you promise to hold all your future parties in “No-Wub” zones.

Sincerely, Rarity.

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Dear Sweetie Belle:

Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated. It turns out that, by mining at night, I was able to create a tunnel which, when combined with my set of diamond armor which I had to slave for months on end to obtain, allowed me to escape my home before its inevitable destruction. So do mine at night!

Love, Button Mash.

P.S.: A deadly new enemy has been sent to hunt me down: Lawyers!

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Dear Future Rarity:

I can eat whatever the fuck I want. Just try and stop me!

Love, Rarity.

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Dear Rarity:

You have issues.

Love, Future Rarity.

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Dear Rarity:

With your obsession with making everything look absolutely fabulous, you would probably make a better princess than Twilight! I really must wonder why I didn’t make you my student instead. With your crystals and gold and everything, you could probably make an absolutely beautiful kingdom! We could call it… Rarity’s Kingdom!

Too bad that will never happen, am I right?

Ruefully, Princess Celestia.

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Dear Princess Celestia:

Fax Machine sent a melted lock onto your head?! Awesome! I knew it was only a matter of time before karma caught up with you! I might even consider occasionally calling him Spike!

Your highly amused former student, Princess Twilight Sparkle.

P.S.: You wouldn’t happen to have a picture, would you?

P.P.S.: I’m not sure about Fax Machine, but I think I can find a way to get troll-spawned alicorns off this planet and to the moon.

Comments

[Changeling-Drone]

throw luna there and use dragon post to send celestia to luna

[Neko Majin C]

With your obsession with making everything look absolutely fabulous, you would probably make a better princess tan twilight!

There is a TAN Twilight!? If not, "tan" should be "than," and "Twilight" should be capitalized. Also, Absolutely Fabulous.

KBO.

[keaton-furman-prower]

4711965 ah.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Dear Future Rarity:

I can eat whatever the fuck I want. Just try and stop me!

Love, Rarity.

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Dear Rarity:

You have issues.

Love, Future Rarity.

You know you've got issues when you're somehow able to communicate back and forth with your future self.

[Phazon]

P.P.S.: I’m not sure about Fax Machine, but I think I can find a way to get troll-spawned alicorns off this planet and to the moon.

I can imagine that backfiring spectacularly.

[keaton-furman-prower]

4713846 You never know with Discord

[keaton-furman-prower]

4814058 Those are yellow

4814126 Yes, exactly

[Kage no Brony]

4712449

I would have laughed if future rarity had instead sent overexaggerated measurements back. "Your measurements in a week, darling."