Dear Twilight Sparkle:
Well, you've only been in Ponyville for a few days, but you wouldn't believe how I've been itching to get you back for dropping out of school.
But first off, I'm seriously disturbed by the apple family. If I had known they'd end up like this, I would never have given them that land.
Fortunately, it seems your organic fax machine is working perfectly, especially if it can send you that invitation and those tickets to you and your friends (Yes, they shall be your friends forever and ever! Fun!) without burning them to a crisp!
Now let me make something very clear: I am not a troll. My father was a troll, but I am not. Troll-ness is recessive. Troll behavior, on the other hand, is dominant, which is why I really enjoyed giving you two tickets instead of six.
Of course, I'm sure you enjoyed being showered with gifts and favors like you're a princess. You probably could only dream of being fed infinite apples, having your own patch of dry land from which to watch ponies get soaked, force slave rabbits to clean your library, or get the sluttiest outfit ever so you can call stallions over to get you laid. For me, however, it's so much fun to watch as everypony chases you around after finding out you have an extra gala ticket.
Of course, all good things must end, and so I had to give you enough tickets for everypony (and fax machine). I'm so glad I could help your friends escape from that little hellhole.
Your faithful(?) Empress and Solar Deity, Princess Celestia.
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Celestia is surprisingly nice here.
Fax Machine... yes! It's in here as well!
Huh, I just got a lesson in genetics. I never knew troll-ness is a recessive gene, while troll behaviour is dominant.
Pft. Yesssss. Fax Machine is in here!
Oh my.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Well, that was nice of her, though she was kind of prudish about the Apple family.
KBO.
If I were Celestia, I would be ecstatic that she left.
Celestia's actually more of a bitch than Twilight. She doesn't even capitalize the f and m in Spike's nickname. Even miles fucking does that.
Topkek