Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

For Whom The Sweetie Belle Toils

Author's Note:

Original letter here.

Dear Rarity:

I heard that you and Sweetie Belle have been having trouble recently, so I thought I'd write to you in order to give you some friendly advice.

If your sister asks you for something at the very last minute, tell her to fuck off. After all, she had plenty of time to ask before, so why should you waste your valuable time fixing her mistake? And if she starts whining about you never doing anything for her, challenge her to make her own dresses within twelve hours.

If you think she's screwing with you, the best thing to do is to make it clear that you can just as easily screw with her. After all, her little play would have been a disaster without your fabulous dresses. You need to make it clear that, whenever she tries to make you suffer, she will suffer with you.

Of course, if all else fails, there is a simple way of solving everything. Look up at night and you'll see what I mean.

Eternally setting an example for older sisters everywhere, Princess Celestia.

---

Dear Princess Celestia:

I appreciate your advice, but I really don't think I'll ever banish Sweetie Belle to the moon. For one, I don't think I have the necessary level of magic to pull off such a feat. And besides, younger siblings make great slave labor.

Your most fabulous servant, Rarity.

---

Dear Rarity:

Thanks a lot.

Sincerely, Princess Luna.

Comments

[Tatsurou]

...you don't want to know how long it took me to 'get' the joke in Luna's letter.

[Valikdu]

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Wow Rarity, way to unintentionally offend the Princess of The Night. Hope you're ready for unending nightmares.

[Lag Incarnate]

And then shit broke. A LOT of shit broke.

[_CheckMate_]

4618244 Shh... he doesn't know that though. It might hurt his feelings.

[Phazon]

Of course, if all else fails, there is a simple way of solving everything. Look up at night and you'll see what I mean.

Four years ago, when Nightmare Moon's visage was still in the Moon, that might have actually meant something. Now, not so much.

[blazikenking]

4618414

[keaton-furman-prower]

4620373 No, last is Fax Machine

[Neko Majin C]

Dear Princess Luna,

Do not worry, there will be a place for you in the new Twilight Republic. As long as you remember your place. Princess Twilight Sparkle will be a benevolent tyrant leader. After she overthrows Smellestia, she will need somepony to raise and lower the sun and moon. She would be able to do it herself, of course, however she would be too busy brutally ruling with an iron hoof kindly ruling over her loving subjects. Besides, manual labor like that would be beneath her. Your princesshood will be elevated a whole level, making you the princess of not only the moon, but of the sun as well. While Princess Twilight Sparkle will be named Supreme Potentate of the Universe.

ALL HAIL SUPREME POTENTATE TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!

Signed,
Princess Twilight Sparkle's humble servant and chief propagandist, Neko Majin C.

KBO.

[Neko Majin C]

4622531 Congratulations on one hundred chapters.