Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Bloom and Gloom
Dear Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo,
Alright, that's it. I can't take it anymore. I don't get paid overtime for this shit.
You, cripple. Get on your scooter and do tricks until you get your stunt pony cutie mark.
You, wannabe robot, go to the next Equestrian Idol tryouts.
And you, product of farm pony incest. Start working with wood. No, not that kind of wood, the other kind. Carpentry. Build stuff like you're the second coming of Haysus.
Now if that's all, I really must be going. You three have seriously cut into our pornography shoot we had scheduled in Twilight's dreams.
Sincerely,
Luna, who is going to clock out now.
Dear Princess Luna,
I seem to have misplaced my OC. I'm wondering if it may have gotten lost in somepony else's dream. I'd be most appreciative if you can look around for him.
I can offer you my extermination services for Canterlot Castle.
Sincerely,
Dale Gribble
P.S. Twittermites aren't really that bad to deal with.
Celestia help you if you get an infestation of tumblrmites though. Those can be hell to get rid of.
Dear Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo,
Please don't hesitate to let me know if Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon give you any more trouble.
Because according to my cutie mark, I can cut a bitch now.
Sincerely,
Babs