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// The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows I Know Because Mayor Mare Knows I Know Pinkie Pie Knows, You Know? 
// Story: Letters from an Irritated Princess 
// by Tired Old Man 
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Mayor Mare,

I thought you were good at keeping secrets. I mean, between us and Granny, we managed to stay hush-hush about the vanishing forest, breaking into the Rainbow Factory with a bag of potato chips, egging Discord's house, raiding a chicken coop to get said eggs...

Granted, for all of those, we had done a Pinkie Promise to keep quiet about it, which I'm guessing you didn't do for a certain secret I would have loved to hear in person from my niece.

And yet despite this glaringly obvious fault...

Ohmygosh ohmygosh OH MY GOSH! I get to be a great aunt! Okay, okay, calm yourself Celestia. This isn't too big a deal... but dear me, I am going to spoil that child of theirs. I know it--they're going to be swimming in so many baby toys it'll be more fun than a ball pit.

I'll even give them the full cake experience. Princess Cake? Prince Cake? A cake with fruit in it that's not fruitcake? I'll find out which to start baking soon enough. 

Oh, but now I have to pretend to act surprised when Cadance comes by with the news. That's... going to be difficult. Teaching Cadance how to spot fake emotions is really going to bite me in the flank on this one.

...or will it? 

Well, don't worry, Mayor Mare. You may have shared this secret with me, but I don't think it'll ruin the surprise. After all, I'm the only one here that knows, but I can think of a few that don't know--

Gah! Luna! Uh, how's your afternoon going?

Oh, well, that would be you, our significant 'others'... look, if I told you, it would ruin things even more than how botched it is now.

What? No, it's not another millennial evil. Or even a centurial one! It's a good thing, very... important, but it can also wait. Just... promise me you won't pry into my dreams on this one. I mean it.

Thank you. And before you go, do you happen to know where Sunny is? ...Bathing with the birds in the garden? Well, it could be worse. She could be bathing in the Fountain Square. Anyway, thanks again, Luna. I'll go get her later.

Whew. I guess keeping a secret like this really will be a nightmare, in a sense. Wish me luck, Mayor. I'll need it.

Friends Forever,

Princess Celestia