Pinkamena Deviant Pie,
Cheese Sandwich. Gods, I never thought I'd say that name ever again. No news of noise complaints over the past five years had me believing that crazy party pony had finally kicked the bucket or gone missing. I missed him.
But I'm happy to hear he's back, and I know this because that party over in Ponyville today was loud enough to have Canterlot--yes, my little nobles again--write up complaints about the noise coming from the neighboring town. And the only reason a party gets that loud is when Cheese is in town.
Now, I know you. You throw parties what seems like every other day in there for somepony because you've memorized all their birthdays--and mine and Luna's, for reasons you have yet to explain. So when Cheese came in, I'm certain you felt quite threatened by his approach, which is understandable. He was clearly on your turf, playing your game.
But he means no harm. He's a tried-and-true dedicated party pony without even an ounce of religious dogma in him. I haven't even heard of any Cheesists existing, unlike your Pinkists.
That said, I ask that you don't convert him. He's pretty much a year-round Santy Hooves, and I'd like that image to be preserved.
Also, now that he's back, he'll be hosting my birthday parties again. The nobles may have banned him from having any parties in the Canterlot commons, but my castle is still fair game. If they're willing to pester me endlessly at the Gala, they're willing to take it back on my birthday with music and fun firing on all cylinders.
Oh, but feel free to come over as a guest party planner. I'm certain Cheese won't mind seeing you again. But if you do, do me one favor:
Don't tell him about the mirror pool.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
Hello, miss Blueberry Bush. How's your--
GODS, cover when you sneeze! And for your cough too.
Thank you, and... uh, you have a black worm kind of poking out your nostril and...
Okay, didn't expect you to snort it back it up. That was... hurk... hoo, alright. Sorry, but geez, I really wish you didn't open the door back then.
It's not my fault you didn't listen--no, no, we shouldn't get mad. Tatzl flu just gets worse with anger.
Well, that's why I'm trying to be calm, and so should you! Noone would like us when we're angry.
Look, we'll just get a cup of nice, hot soup, play some Risk, and get through this together. The longer we're ill, the worse things will get.