Dear Pinkie Pie:
Your mommy told you when you were small:
Don’t be a superstar.
You never listened to her great advice,
Yet you’ve somehow gotten far.
Now everypony I know loves to dance
At your crazy parties, yes they do!
But now Cheese Sandwich has come to par-tay,
Back off, ‘cause your time is up!
I see your party's absurd,
and I think it's for the birds,
Oh I can tell you're crazy, you perform this way!
I've heard you're always so high,
You think that you might just fly,
Oh yes you're a drug addict, you perform this way!
Oh, he’s taken all your fans,
Ruined all your awesome plans,
Maybe he performs this way?
Yeah, you’ve lost the party game,
Oh please, just accept you’re lame.
Don’t go psycho, you perform this way!
Your party-loving princess, Celestia.
Dear Pinkie Pie:
I must say, you’re lucky you ended up making peace with Cheese Head. If you hadn’t, that magic butt sticker of yours would have become useless. You’d have to take it off and get another tattoo.
Even so, I must admit I’m surprised you were so willing to take his cock. Especially one as floppy as that one. I guess they don’t call him “Boneless” for nothing!
Then again, maybe you’re just waiting for the right situation? Then the saga begins and you become a great heroine? At least you won’t be a white and nerdy (or purple and nerdy, for that matter) heroine.
Oh well. I guess you might want to keep your eye on that rubber Scootaloo. Who knows when you might need it?
Your friend, Discord.